If only it hadn’t happened at this time in his life. It had been hell seeing her and working with her on a daily basis, knowing that nothing could come of it. Knowing that he had to hide his attraction, pretend it didn’t exist.
Tonight, holding her in his arms and moving with her to the rhythm of the music, that had been impossible.
But how could he have known that she could dance like that? Perhaps he should have guessed after that solitary disastrous kiss under the mistletoe that it would be like putting a match to tinder, but he’d thought they would be safe in front of all those people.
What people? Once he’d had her in his arms the rest of the world had ceased to matter…ceased to exist. The only thing that had been relevant had been that Ella had been as close to him as two layers of clothing would allow, moving with him as if she were the other half of his soul.
‘Sorry to keep you waiting,’ she murmured as she drew near, with that endearing touch of shyness that always made his gut clench with desire. She seemed so innocent, so untouched, and yet the expression in those green eyes of hers when she’d gazed up into his on the dance floor had been as old as Eve.
How was he ever going to be able to find the words to tell her about his tangled life—about the disappointments and tension and about the ultimate tragedy?
The only thing he was certain about, as he stood to greet her and breathed in the scent of wildflowers that always surrounded her, was that he would have to tell her all about it if there was to be any chance of the relationship he wanted. His own sense of honesty wouldn’t allow him to do anything less.
‘Where do you want to talk?’
Ella’s heart was in her throat, almost blocking the innocuous words. His eyes were so dark and his gaze so intense that they almost stopped her from being able to speak at all.
‘I don’t know.’ Seth gazed around the hotel’s reception area and realised that, although there were several chairs grouped about for the convenience of their patrons, the whole room was far too public for his needs. It was going to be hard enough telling her about the mess his life had become without worrying about eavesdroppers.
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other. ‘It’s still much too cold to go for a walk, even with a coat on over your dress.’
The way his eyes slid over her was as potent as a caress and her pulse rate climbed another notch.
‘We could talk upstairs,’ she offered tentatively, avoiding his eyes lest he was able to divine the way her sister’s words had suddenly leapt into her head. There was a bed in her room upstairs—two, in fact, and either of them ideal for finding out if Seth’s dancing was as good as his…
‘Upstairs?’ he repeated, his voice grown deeper, huskier and more than enough to fuel the fantasy. ‘You’re staying here?’
‘Just for two nights,’ she explained hastily, the luxurious establishment far outside her budget. ‘David’s family are staying here and insisted on booking a suite for Sophia and I to share last night. She won’t be needing it tonight.’ The final words ended in a whisper when she realised how they might sound.
A heavy silence stretched in the wake of her words, fraught with unspoken dangers and possibilities, before he wordlessly gestured towards the bank of lifts.
She was quivering deep inside by the time the doors slid shut and so impossibly tense that when he cleared his throat she nearly jumped out of her skin.
‘Ella?’
The sound of her name in his voice was like having velvet stroked over her skin, soothing and arousing at the same time.
‘Ella, you have to press the button,’ he prompted gently, and she nearly groaned aloud with embarrassment.
The lift couldn’t read her mind but she had an uncomfortable feeling that Seth could. It must be written in big bold letters that her invitation up to her room was directing her thoughts along just one path.
The soft ping warned that the doors were going to open and she stepped out into the corridor.
‘This way,’ she said as she turned, the key-card ready in her hand.
‘Ella, are you sure about this?’ he asked, putting his hand over hers when she would have inserted the card in the slot.
The contact was electric and she couldn’t hold back a soft gasp.
Since they’d left the dance floor, it was almost as though they’d been avoiding touching each other.
Until now.
She looked up into his face and saw the confirmation she needed. He was just as affected by this strange emotional connection as she was, just as aroused by the physical contact, no matter how small and insignificant.
Ella didn’t know what he’d seen in her eyes but when his hand tightened over hers she was flooded with the realisation that this could be the moment she’d been waiting for.
On the surface, they’d come up here because Seth had said that he needed to talk to her, but it seemed as if he needed her even more.
‘Come in, Seth,’ she whispered unsteadily and released the lock, finally certain that she was doing the right thing. ‘Please, come in.’
It was several seconds before he took the steps that brought him into the softly lit room and she hadn’t realised just how unsure she’d been that he would until she heard the click as the door closed behind him.
‘Do you want to sit down?’ she invited. In spite of her new certainty, the words still shook with nervous tension in the sudden silence that stretched between them. ‘There’s tea or coffee, or I could get you something from the mini-bar.’
‘Ella.’
The sound of her name was enough to stop her chattering, especially when it sounded as if it had been dragged out of him that way.
‘Yes?’ She drew in a quivering breath and finally turned to face him fully.
‘I don’t want a drink, I just need…’ Words failed him but she could read what he wanted in his eyes, knew what he wanted because it was what she wanted too.
This was the man she’d been falling in love with since the first time she’d seen him, and the emotion had only been growing deeper and stronger with each passing day.
And here and now, for whatever reason, the defences he’d tried to erect against her had fallen so that she could see clearly that he felt the same way.
‘Oh, Seth,’ she whispered, suddenly finding the courage to take that first step towards him, the first step that would take her into his arms. ‘Oh, Seth, hold me, please. Kiss me.’
There was the briefest second of hesitation, as though she’d taken him by surprise, but then he was there, cupping one hand around her cheek while he gazed at her as if he couldn’t believe what was happening.
‘Ah, Ella, I know I promised you a dance, but—’
‘Then dance with me again, Seth,’ she begged, suddenly afraid that he was going to stop the conflagration she wanted before it started. ‘Dance with me now, the way you did downstairs.’
She held her hand out to him and with a groan he took it and pulled her slowly towards him, stopping when there were just a precious few inches between them.
‘Are you sure, Ella?’ he demanded softly, his eyes caressing her face. ‘You have to be certain because it might start off as a dance, but it won’t end there.’
Her heart thumped unevenly and she drew in a ragged breath.
‘Oh, yes, Seth. I’m sure,’ she said fervently and closed the distance between them, her arms lifting to circle his neck, her fingers tangling in the thick silky strands of his hair the way they’d been longing to do.
‘Then give me your mouth,’ he groaned as his head came down towards her. ‘Oh, God, I need your sweetness.’
He brushed his lips over hers, gently, almost tentatively, over and over again, then pressed more firmly, but it wasn’t enough for either of them. This time, without an audience looking on, their bodies were even closer than they had been on the dance floor, their mouths beginning a tentative exploration that could have but one result.
‘O
pen for me, Ella,’ he growled, nipping gently then soothing the place with his tongue. ‘Let me in.’
She complied willingly, knowing from their mistletoe kiss up on the ward that it was an invitation to the entry of his tongue, knowing that it was going to lead to so much more.
Her tongue met his, hesitantly at first then more boldly, thrusting and parrying in the velvet dark intimacy until her knees grew weak.
As if he knew her strength was gone his arms wrapped convulsively around her, drawing her up against his body so that she was almost lifted off her feet.
She could feel his heart beating against her breasts, every bit as fast as her own, and felt too the extent of his arousal. Instinctively she pressed her hips against him, testing his response, and when he groaned aloud she froze for a second before doing it again.
‘Ah, stop, sweetheart. Help me,’ he muttered against her mouth, and suddenly they were both fighting with buttons and zips, all hesitation gone as the urgency grew beyond control.
It would only have taken him moments to peel her out of her elegant dress and less than that to discard the silky panties but with Ella trying to fumble with a row of tiny buttons to open his shirt it was taking far too long.
‘Leave that for next time,’ he growled as he lifted her so that she could wrap her legs around his hips, and then she heard the unmistakable rasp of his zip.
‘Can’t wait,’ he groaned almost incoherently as he pressed her naked back against the cold wall, his whole body shaking with the violence of his need. ‘Ella…Forgive me…I can’t wait…’ And he cried out in a mixture of agony and ecstasy as he joined their bodies together for the first time.
Ella thought she’d known what to expect but this was so much more than any book she’d read. This wasn’t the romance of soft music and candlelight, this was all the passion and fury of a storm at sea and she was helpless to resist.
It didn’t matter that she had no idea how to respond, her body knew, coaching her into moving with Seth and against him as the tempest escalated into a hurricane and then the lightning finally struck and demolished the world.
Neither of them had breath to speak, and his body was still bracing hers against the wall when he pressed his forehead to hers.
‘If it gets any better than this, woman, I won’t survive,’ he rumbled gruffly in her ear then dipped his head to brush a tender kiss across her lips.
Ella couldn’t help her body’s reaction to the caress and the heat swept up her throat and into her face when he instantly groaned in reaction, deepening the kiss and the contact between their bodies.
She hadn’t realised that he had moved out of the lounge area of the suite into the bedroom until, long seconds later, he lowered the two of them onto one of the enormous beds without ever breaking the contact between them.
Ella felt herself drifting into consciousness with a smile on her face, still savouring the most explicit dream she’d ever had about Seth Gifford, when she heard a noise in the other half of the suite.
Her brain was still scrambling to make sense of the sound and her unexpected surroundings when her memory finally woke up.
Her eyes flew open and she scrabbled reflexively for a sheet to pull over her totally naked body.
‘It wasn’t a dream,’ she whispered aloud as she gazed swiftly around the room, somehow needing to hear the words to make them true. The jumble of bedclothes scattered on the floor and the lacy bra dangling from the arm of the nearby chair should have been enough to kick-start her memory.
‘Oh, my…!’ She pulled the sheet over her face to hide her blushes when she recalled the way she’d made the first advances, inviting him into her room, asking him to kiss her…and the way he’d reciprocated…pinning her against the wall!
And that had been just the beginning.
It had been hours before they’d finally fallen asleep in each other’s arms, only to wake again as the first grey light of dawn had begun to brighten the room.
That had been hours ago, but she could still remember her gasp at the first contact of naked skin on naked skin.
She’d been stunned by the searing heat that had poured out of him. He was so…so big. Long-limbed, broad-shouldered and powerful, one minute taking her as though they were two elemental animals caught up in a ferocious mating ritual, but the next so gentle, so caring, touching her as if she were the most precious thing in the world.
But where was he, this multifaceted man who had initiated her into the world of desire? She was sure she’d heard him in the other room of the suite as she’d woken up.
‘Seth?’ she called as she dragged her fingers through the tangled strands of her hair to try to subdue it into some sort of order. Heaven only knew where her make-up had gone. Probably, half of it was on the bedclothes and the other half on the towels after their dead-of-night shower together.
‘Seth,’ she called again, and when there was still no answer she wrapped the sheet around herself and went looking.
‘He’s gone,’ she said in utter disbelief, having searched the tiny suite in a matter of seconds. And there was no sign of a note either.
She was about to look down the back of the bed in case he’d placed a note on the pillow when the illuminated numbers on the bedside clock caught her eye.
She sagged onto the bed with relief.
‘Of course he’s not here, you ninny! He’s gone to work.’
She would have preferred him to have woken her up before he’d left, just so that she could have given him a kiss goodbye…but on second thoughts, if he’d done that, he’d probably still be here!
‘Incredible!’ she whispered with a giggle. ‘Yesterday a virgin, today insatiable!’ And she was already looking forward to the next time as she padded into the bathroom.
She emerged just in time to wave Sophia and David off on their honeymoon, and was grateful that her sister was too wrapped up in her own happiness to notice the matching whisker burn Ella had collected during the night.
The rest of the day was definitely an anticlimax, especially when she didn’t hear from Seth, but that was nothing compared to the next morning.
‘Seth…Mr Gifford’s gone?’ she repeated numbly when Carol gave them the news at the start of their shift. ‘Gone where?’
‘No idea, nor if he’ll be coming back. Just that he’s applied to take all his accumulated leave at short notice. What a good job you managed to have your dance with him.’
‘Dance?’ It seemed to have happened light years ago.
‘Yes, you dark horse. I never knew you could dance like that. How long have you been having lessons?’
Ella knew she must have given some sort of answer but all she was conscious of was feeling sick.
‘Well, if we keep standing around chatting we’ll be given the sack. At least with your dancing you’ve got another skill. The rest of us need the jobs we’ve got.’
Ella knew that she did her job well that day because professional pride wouldn’t let her do anything else, but it was when she was on her breaks that the hurt seeped past her defences and threatened her equanimity.
Over the next few weeks Seth’s name came up frequently as his patients were allocated to other members of the team, but she hadn’t realised that she was reacting to it in any special way until one of the midwives, newly returned from an extended maternity leave, called her aside for a moment.
‘Ella, I know all about patient confidentiality, but she’s not really a patient, and I hope you don’t think I’m being nosy for the sake of it but…’ Lena paused uncomfortably after her rambling introduction.
‘Go on,’ Ella invited, suddenly struck by a sinking premonition of disaster. ‘If you want to know something I can’t tell you, then I won’t.’
‘Well, it’s just…I knew Seth when we both worked at my last hospital. All three of us, actually. His wife is in Obs and Gyn, too.’
‘His wife?’ Ella echoed weakly as her whole fantasy world shattered silently around them.
Seth was married?
She’d spent the most magical night of her life committing adultery?
‘Yes. She was absolutely desperate to have a baby and two cycles of IVF treatment had already failed. I knew she had frozen embryos left from the first collection and she made no bones about being eager to have another try so…Did she finally manage to have her baby or is there another problem? Is that why Seth’s had to go on leave?’
‘Lena, I have absolutely no idea,’ she said honestly, self-discipline the only thing that stopped her from howling out her hurt. ‘All we were told was that he was taking some leave but not why. There was certainly no mention of a baby or even his wife.’
‘Damn,’ Lena muttered. ‘That’s one of the things I hated about going on maternity leave. It’s a bit like taking a book back to the library without reading the last chapter. There are all those women I’d got to know, and I never saw them have their babies.’
Ella made sympathetic noises but her heart wasn’t in it. How could it be when it had just been wrenched out of her chest and torn asunder?
The rest of the day was difficult, especially as they were quiet and there was too much time to think.
Not that endless hours of thinking solved anything. She still had no idea whether Seth was ever coming back or what she would say to him if he did.
In the end, the decision was almost taken for her, with the news that her grandmother’s will had finally passed through probate.
‘Come and stay for the weekend, Gabby,’ Sophia invited, the joy in her voice coming down the telephone in waves. ‘We promise to behave ourselves with the utmost propriety in your company, but we really need to talk about what we want to do about the croft.’
It was more than three weeks since the wedding and both of them were back at work, but Ella suddenly felt the need to spend some time with her sister away from the hothouse atmosphere of the hospital. Perhaps her appetite would return.
‘I’d love to come,’ she said fervently. ‘Do I need to bring my working clothes with me or have you finished the decorating?’
‘Bring them, please! If it’s wet we can decorate but if it’s dry we can start on the garden.’
Mistletoe Mother (Medical Romance) Page 12