Julia smiled as the wheels began turning in her mind.
“So,” said Cecilia, reverting to English once again. “I won’t tell you it will be easy, being a mother and a student. But you can do it. Please give Gabriel my congratulations. I’m happy for you both.”
Julia thanked her professor and exited the office.
When Julia arrived home for dinner, Gabriel was sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen island, reading the newspaper.
He immediately dropped the paper when he saw her.
“Why, hello, beautiful. How was your day?”
“It was okay.” Julia put her messenger bag down on the floor and sat next to him at the island.
“What’s wrong?” He placed his hand at the back of her neck and gently pulled her close so he could kiss her. “Are you ill?”
“I have good news and bad news.”
The edges of his lips turned down. “What’s the bad news?”
“Professor Marinelli said I have to take a maternity leave.”
“Why did she say that?”
“Since the baby is due in September, she doesn’t think I should register for courses in the fall. The way the schedule is, it would be too much if I tried to cram the third-year requirements into the winter semester. So she thinks I should just take the year off.”
Gabriel rubbed at his chin. “I’d forgotten about how busy the third year is. What do you want to do?”
“What can I do? I have to take a maternity leave.” She put her elbows on the counter.
“Julianne, you can do anything you want. If you want to take classes after the baby is born, we’ll make it work. You’ll just have to take incompletes while you catch up on what you’ve missed.”
“The graduate school doesn’t like students taking incompletes.”
“No, they don’t. But they allow it, in certain circumstances. I’m sure they’d allow it in this case.”
“Then I’d be playing catch-up while studying for my general exams.”
“That’s true. Just because Cecilia thinks it might be challenging doesn’t mean it will be impossible. As I said before, I will make this work. I promise.”
Julia looked up at him, at his warm and earnest expression. “You will make this work?”
“Of course. But I’m not going to tell you what to do. You decide and I’ll speak to Greg, if necessary.”
“No, I’ll talk to him. But—” She paused.
“What?”
“I need to tell you the good news. Cecilia said that Katherine is coming to Harvard.”
Gabriel’s mouth opened in astonishment. “What? I had an email from her last week. She never mentioned anything.”
“Apparently, she’s staying at Oxford next year and coming to Harvard the year after. That’s another reason why Cecilia thinks that a maternity leave is a good idea—Katherine will arrive when I come back.”
“That’s great.”
“It is. But—” Julia shook her head. “I don’t want to take a maternity leave, but I’m worried about failing my exams.”
“You won’t fail.”
“I won’t be in tiptop shape either.”
“Then we’ll get you into tiptop shape. You’re going to have Rebecca and me here to hold the fort. You can study for your exams and do what you need to do.”
“I want to be a mother, too,” she whispered. “I don’t want to ignore the baby.”
“I’m sure you can find a balance.” He kissed the top of her head before crossing over to the refrigerator. He retrieved a bottle of ginger ale and quickly poured it over ice in a tall glass.
He handed it to her. “You don’t need to decide right now. Register for the fall and if you feel like you need to drop the courses or take incompletes, you can.”
“I don’t want to start something and not finish it. I certainly don’t want to risk failing my exams.” She looked up at Gabriel, a worried expression on her face. “I don’t want to be an absent mother, like Sharon.”
“You won’t be like her.”
Gabriel looked down at the marble-topped island and traced a pattern on its surface.
“Truthfully, I don’t know what to expect when we have the baby. But as I said, I’m taking leave regardless.”
“Cecilia mentioned that she could give me a reading list for my dissertation prospectus. I could work on that while I’m on leave, along with my languages.”
He lifted his head. “I’m sure the baby will be delighted to learn about Dante and also to be able to do more than just curse in German.”
Julia laughed and wrapped an arm around his waist. “I think I’d be missing out if I didn’t take part of a maternity leave. Who knows what kind of mischief you and the baby will get into?”
“Oh, you can be sure we will get into all kinds of mischief.” He winked. “And there is a strong possibility that shenanigans and hijinks of various sorts will also occur, with regularity.”
“Perhaps you and the baby will need me.” Julia glanced at him.
Gabriel’s eyes locked on hers.
“Of course we’ll need you. But I’ll make it work if you can’t be here.” He brought the backs of his fingers to her face and gently stroked her cheek. “If you take maternity leave, we could spend part of the year in Umbria.”
“Really?”
“Or Oxford, or Paris, or Barcelona. You name it.”
“Selinsgrove?”
Gabriel pulled back. “Of all the cities in the world, you want to go there?”
“That’s where your family home is. That’s where my family is. It might be nice to be close to Diane. She could give me advice and we could schedule play dates.”
“We can talk to her on FaceTime from Europe.”
“The orchard is there.”
Gabriel traced his thumb across Julia’s lower lip and sighed. “Yes, the orchard is there.”
“I’ll look into registering for the fall and if I can’t go back after the baby is born, I’ll drop the classes. Then I’ll go on maternity leave for the winter semester and start studying for my general exams.”
“That sounds like a good plan. Katherine will be here by the following September.”
“We can have the baby at Mount Auburn Hospital, and decide from there where we want to go. I’m not sure about taking a newborn on a transatlantic flight.”
“Hmm. I hadn’t thought about that.”
Julia wrapped her arms around his waist. “We haven’t thought of a lot of things.”
“Ah, but I have a book.” Gabriel reached over to pick up a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting that was sitting nearby.
“Make sure to mark the place where it talks about transatlantic flights and the likelihood of writing a book on Dante’s concept of Hell while caring for a baby. I’d be interested in reading those sections.”
He tossed the book aside. “Very funny, Mrs. Emerson.”
She pressed herself against him. “If we go to Europe, we’ll be able to visit some museums.”
“That we will.”
“We’ll be able to tango against the wall.”
“We’ll have to bring Rebecca with us if we ever want to have a tango in a museum again.” He pressed an openmouthed kiss to her neck.
“Museums aren’t as accommodating as they used to be.”
His eyes shone.
“Except for our last visit to the Uffizi.”
Now she was blushing.
“That’s what I want for our next anniversary.”
“What? A museum?” He smirked.
“No. Another tango against a wall.”
“Shall we try the Louvre next time?”
Julia felt her insides flame. “That sounds promising.”
He kissed her neck, fluttering his lips against her sk
in. “We have a lot of good things to look forward to, Mrs. Emerson. But I think we both need to read that book.”
Chapter Seventy-five
Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania
You’re what?”
A pile of silverware slid from Rachel’s fingers, clattering onto the kitchen island. She stared openmouthed at her best friend.
Gabriel had his arm around Julia as they stood in the kitchen of the Clark family home. Scott, Tammy, and Quinn sat on stools nearby, while Richard and Aaron were deep in conversation near the stove.
“I’m pregnant,” Julia repeated, her eyes searching Rachel’s face.
The room fell silent.
“But, but, I didn’t know you were trying. I thought you were going to wait,” Rachel sputtered.
“The news was unexpected but not unwelcome.” Gabriel pressed his lips to Julia’s temple.
“That’s great news, Julia. When are you due?” Tammy interjected.
“September.” Julia’s hand curved over her slightly protruding abdomen. “We told Dad, Diane, and my uncle Jack last night.”
“I think this calls for cigars. I’m very proud of you both.” Richard shook Gabriel’s hand and clapped him on the back before kissing Julia’s cheek. “It will be nice to have another baby around. Quinn and Tommy will have a new playmate.”
“Exactly.” Tammy followed, hugging Julia, and so did Scott.
Julia looked over at her best friend apprehensively. “Rach?”
“I—” Rachel suddenly closed her mouth. She looked as if she were about to burst into tears.
Aaron wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He murmured something in her ear.
“I’m happy for you,” Rachel managed. After a moment, she embraced Julia and Gabriel together. “I am. I’m happy for you both.”
Julia’s eyes began to water.
“I think we should give the girls a minute. Isn’t there a game on?” Aaron jerked his thumb toward the living room, where the wide-screen television was located.
Tammy, Quinn, and the men quickly retreated, leaving the best friends alone.
“This is a surprise.” Rachel sat on one of the bar stools. “Was it an accident?”
Julia chewed at the inside of her mouth. “Gabriel doesn’t want us using the word accident. He doesn’t want the baby growing up thinking he wasn’t wanted.”
“Of course not!” Rachel appeared horrified. “I didn’t think of it that way. I’m sorry.”
“But, uh, clearly this was unexpected, because we were planning on waiting.”
Rachel’s eyes trained on her friend’s.
“It must have been a shock for you. Are you all right?”
“I was upset at the beginning, but Gabriel has been great. He’s really excited and his enthusiasm is infectious. Rebecca moved in with us, so she’ll help with the baby. I’ve decided to take a maternity leave, and Gabriel is going to do the same.”
Rachel snorted, resting her forearm on the top of the island. “Gabriel is taking a maternity leave? I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“Well, it’s a paternity leave. It’s available to him and so he’s going to take it. They owe him a sabbatical anyway, but he’s deferring it.” Julia sat on the stool to Rachel’s left. “We’re even talking about moving here for part of the year, after the baby is born.”
Rachel’s gray eyes grew soft. “Dad would love that. Have you told him?”
Julia shook her head. “We were waiting until we told everyone we were expecting.” She glanced in the direction of the living room. “Gabriel is probably asking him right now.”
“Dad won’t say no. Will Rebecca come too?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead. But it would be a bit ridiculous for one little baby to require three adults to supervise him.”
Rachel regarded her friend. “You haven’t been around babies much, have you?”
“No.”
“You might need Rebecca to keep up the house and to cook for everyone.” Rachel stared at her fingernails. “You and Diane will be able to commiserate about motherhood. We’ll come home for weekends. The baby will be surrounded by family.”
“That’s what we wanted. I’m sorry about the timing. I know you and Aaron have been trying and I feel so—”
“Don’t.” Rachel forced a smile. “I’m happy for you. And I’m going to be the best damn aunt I can be. I’m hoping, someday, you’ll have the chance to be the same to mine.”
“Me, too.”
Julia smiled, a sympathetic sadness twisting in her insides.
That evening, Aaron stood in his wife’s childhood bedroom, which was still decorated with the awards and trophies she’d won in high school. He held her in his arms as she sobbed into his chest.
He felt helpless. He felt impotent.
“Rach,” he whispered, rubbing her back.
“It’s so unfair,” she managed, her hands fisting his shirt. “They didn’t even want a baby! Jules was going to wait until she graduated. I can’t believe this is happening.”
Aaron didn’t know what to say. When Julia announced her good news, he was envious, but not to the degree that Rachel was. After a year of trying to conceive, she was battling depression. He didn’t want to feed it by focusing on the unfairness of life and raising existential questions that might never be answered.
“I know you’re upset, but I need you to calm down.”
“I want my mom.” She pressed her forehead into his shoulder. “She would know what to do.”
“As much as I loved your mother, she wasn’t a miracle worker.”
“But she could give me advice. And I’m never going to see her again.” A fresh round of sobs escaped Rachel’s chest.
“You know that’s not true,” he whispered, rubbing her back once again. “This was a shock, but we have to get over it. People around us are going to have children. You don’t want this to come between you and Julia.”
“It won’t.”
“That’s my girl. So no tears tomorrow.” He pulled away, his face marked with concern.
“I can do that. I gave an Academy Award–winning performance earlier. I wanted to cry as soon as she told me.”
“I don’t want you to act, Rachel. I want you to appear to be okay and I want that to be the truth.”
“But I’m not okay.” She sat on the edge of her bed.
“I want to talk to you about that.” Aaron joined her on the bed. “Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, I’d like us to start thinking about what we have. We have our jobs, we have a nice place to live, we—”
“We have fertility treatments that aren’t working.” Rachel cursed under her breath.
“There are other options. We’ve discussed this.”
“I’m not ready to give up.”
“We don’t have to give up. But maybe we should just relax for a while. Take a break.”
“Take a break?” She peered over at him curiously.
“Stop the fertility treatments and forget about having a baby. Just for a while.”
She crossed her arms around her middle. “No.”
He took her hand in his. “I think the pressure is getting to you.”
“I can handle it.”
“No, baby, you can’t. I know you like I know myself. And I’m telling you, you need a break. We need a break.”
“We’re supposed to try the fertility treatments for a year. We can’t stop now.” Her chin began to wobble.
“Yes, we can.” He brushed his lips across hers. “We’ll talk to the doctor when we’re back in Philadelphia. Then we’re going to take a long vacation. Gabriel promised he’d lend us their house in Italy. We can take some time and just be a normal couple again.”
“What if this is it? What if we can’t . . .” She couldn’t bring herself to say
it.
“Then we’ll start looking at other options.” He placed his arm around her. “Whether or not we have a baby, we have each other. That’s something, isn’t it?”
She nodded.
“We need to take care of each other. And I’m not taking care of you if I let you continue like this.”
“I feel like a failure.” Rachel wiped her face with the back of her hand.
“You aren’t,” he whispered. “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. I would love to have a family with you but not if that journey is going to break you. I’m sorry, but I don’t want kids that much.”
Rachel looked at him, surprised. “I thought this was important to you.”
“You come first. You’ve always come first.” He squeezed her shoulder. “I want the woman I married. Once we get back to that, then we can start talking about kids again. Okay?”
Rachel was silent as she contemplated what he was proposing. She closed her eyes, and it felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
Suddenly, she felt as if she could breathe again.
“Okay.”
Aaron pulled his wife into his arms. “I love you.”
Down the hall, Julia leaned her hip against the bathroom vanity, watching Gabriel brush his teeth.
“Your father is proud of us for having a baby.”
Gabriel nodded, as he continued brushing.
“That means he’s proud of us for having sex and you for impregnating me. Do you think they make T-shirts for grandfathers that express those sentiments?”
Gabriel made a strangled choking noise before he began spitting into the sink.
“Are you all right?” She tapped on his back. “Can you speak?”
He responded with more spitting and then raucous laughter.
“T-shirts,” he managed, placing his hand on the counter to support himself. “How do you come up with this stuff?”
“It wasn’t me who said it. I don’t think anyone has ever told me that he’s proud of me for having sex. My dad was happy for us, but he didn’t say he was proud.”
Gabriel's Inferno Trilogy Page 145