But none of that was her fault. He had no excuse for treating her the way he had, and she had every right to be backing toward the door away from him. “Emily, wait.”
“I have to go.”
She slipped out the door before he could stop her, but he caught up with her outside. Midmorning sunlight rode a wave of heat, blasting them both, and Javy squinted against the glare. “At least let me apologize.”
“There’s no need,” she insisted as she slid her purse strap over one shoulder. Looking as cool and remote as some Hollywood glamour girl from the past, she added, “You didn’t do anything.”
Then why did her casual absolution make him feel that much worse?
“Look, I don’t blame you for being pissed off.”
“I’m not. Really,” she insisted, and Javy could see she was telling the truth. A shadow of hurt lingered, but none of the fury he’d expected. “What would be the point?”
“The point?” he echoed. “The point is to yell and scream and let it all out until you feel better.”
Emily sighed. “I’m fine, Javy. That was years ago. Connor was right. I had already made up my mind that our relationship was moving too fast and that I wasn’t ready to run off with him. I’m not surprised he gave the money to your family. That’s the kind of friend he is. Now he and Kelsey are completely in love, and everything has worked out for the best, so why bother getting upset?”
“Because none of that changes the fact that your family went to Connor behind your back, and they kept it a secret all these years, until some loudmouthed jerk threw it in your face when you were only trying to help.”
Her lips twitched in what he thought might be a real smile, but she ducked her head before he could tell for sure. “I happen to like that loudmouthed jerk, so that makes it hard to be angry with him.”
“Yeah, well, the jerk likes you, too, and he’d feel better if you did get angry, seeing how he deserves it.”
“You don’t, and I’m glad you told me. It makes me feel better about the decision I’ve made.”
“What decision?”
“I want to move out of my parents’ house.”
Javy’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Are you sure you don’t want to think about that first?”
“I have been thinking about it. This isn’t about what happened with Connor. Obviously, I was going to move in with Todd after the wedding. I don’t see why all my plans should change simply because my fiancé ended up being a liar and a cheat.”
Afraid she might be getting in over her head, Javy said, “You know, there’s no hurry. I’m sure your parents—”
“My parents would gladly let me stay at home, where I can be the little girl they’ll do anything to protect.” A hint of bitterness underscored her words, telling Javy she wasn’t as ambivalent about her parents’ inference as she’d like to believe. “I want to do this. I need to.”
“Okay, but you don’t have to do it all by yourself. I have a cousin…” Catching sight of the look on her face, he laughed. “Yeah, I’ve got a lot of cousins. Anyway, Anna’s a real estate agent. I’ll introduce you, and she can show you a listing of houses for sale.”
“Thank you,” she said, her sigh of relief revealing her doubts about doing this all on her own.
And she wouldn’t be alone. He’d be on hand to help. Despite the fact that he’d be working like a madman in a few days to get the restaurant back in running shape, he’d be there for Emily.
You’ve never stuck with anything in your whole life.
The echo of his father’s long-ago accusation rang through his mind, and Javy locked his jaw against the memories. If he had to slow down time, he’d figure out a way. The Wilsons’ payoff had helped his family but had ultimately hurt Emily. He owed it to her to do what he could do to make things right. And they owed it to themselves to see where the undeniable chemistry led.
It didn’t matter if he couldn’t make things stick.
Emily had just escaped from one serious tangle and was looking for even more freedom. No way would she be interested in getting tied up in a long-term relationship again.
Relaxing with the thought, he said, “Hey, you’re welcome. But I haven’t even done anything yet.”
“That’s not true. You’re the first person to ask me what I want and what would make me happy. You’ve given me a lot to think about, and finding my own place is definitely one of the things I want.”
After giving him her number so he could call when his cousin was available to meet them, Emily climbed into her car. She pulled out of the parking lot, but not before glancing back. Their gazes met, and Javy would have sworn the sweat beading at his temples and the heat shimmering across the twenty feet of asphalt between them had nothing to do with the hundred-plus temperature and everything to do with the spark and sizzle of that momentary connection.
In the end, it was Emily who looked away first. She turned onto the street and drove off, but as he’d suspected, out of sight did not equal out of mind, and her last lingering look left Javy wondering about all the other things Emily Wilson might want.
Emily made it a little more than a mile before she pulled off into a grocery store parking lot. Her hands were clenched on the steering wheel as Javy’s words echoed through her thoughts.
Your family paid Connor to stop seeing you all those years ago. That’s why he left town.
Humiliation burned her cheeks. Nearly ten years removed from her family’s manipulation, the betrayal shouldn’t have stung so badly. Except Emily wasn’t sure anything had changed. If she fell for the wrong man now, how would her parents react? Would they trust her to make the right decision, or would they go behind her back and stack the odds for a favorable outcome?
I’ve taken all the money from your family that I’m going to in this lifetime.
She wished Javy’s words didn’t mean so much to her. After all, he wasn’t saying he cared about her more than her family’s money, only that he wouldn’t accept financial help. Not exactly the same thing. His words were a declaration of pride, not an outpouring of emotion.
When her cell phone rang, Emily reached for her purse, grateful for the distraction until she saw her sister’s number on the screen. She was surprised Aileen had waited this long to call. “Hello, Aileen.”
“Emily! We missed you this morning.”
Her family had made plans to have breakfast before checking out of the hotel, but most of the talk would center on the wedding, and she’d had enough. “I left word at the restaurant that I wasn’t going to make it.”
“I know. The maître d’ told us you weren’t coming, but of course, he couldn’t tell us why.”
Emily sighed. “I just needed some time alone.”
“All alone?” Aileen stressed.
Emily shook her head. She loved her sister, but the woman was anything but subtle. Still, that didn’t mean Emily would make it easy on her. “What do you mean?”
“One minute you’re dancing with the best man, and the next minute you’ve both left the reception.”
And of course, Aileen would have heard all about what had happened after the reception. Some babysitters might have tried to keep the kids’ escape a secret, but Meg wasn’t the type to lie. Just as well, since Emily doubted anything would have kept Ginny quiet when it came to a “superhero” rescuing her little brother.
“What exactly do you think happened, Aileen?”
“I don’t know.” A sly note entering her voice, her sister said, “That’s what I’m calling to find out.”
“Nothing happened,” Emily insisted, keeping the amazing kiss to herself. “Except for the part about Duncan getting stuck in the tree.”
“Well, I’m proud of you for going to the wedding, and I hope you’ll be able to put this behind you and move on.”
“That is my plan,” Emily agreed, thinking of her decision to move and find her own place.
“Speaking of plans, Mother has a dinner party in the works. Dad’s thinking o
f asking Dan Rogers to become a partner in the business.”
“He’s…Really?”
Good thing she’d already pulled over. Emily wasn’t sure how many more unexpected announcements she could take in one day.
“You sound surprised,” Aileen ventured carefully.
“Aren’t you?” Emily questioned. “Doesn’t this whole thing seem too fast?”
“Well, no. You know Dad wants to cut back his hours and start an early semiretirement. He’s been talking about bringing in a partner for months.”
“I know.” Her father had gold starred Todd for that position. The wedding would have been not only a “welcome to the family” but also a welcome to the family business. With Todd out of the picture, her father was still moving forward, substituting Plan B, in the form of Dan Rogers.
And what about you? What are you doing with Javier Delgado?
It’s not the same, she argued, with the annoying voice poking guilty needles in her conscience. And okay, kissing a guy on the day she was supposed to have married another man might have some shades of Plan B, but Emily wasn’t going to marry Javy.
Everything Emily knew about him told her he was the last man to want to get married, and as long as she kept that firmly in mind, that made him just about perfect.
Half an hour later Emily pulled up to her parents’ circular driveway. A familiar brown delivery truck blocked access to the four-car garage on the side of the sprawling Scottsdale home. She cut the engine and climbed from her car as a uniformed man circled the back of the truck. The door was rolled up, revealing dozens of boxes in every shape and size, and the driver had three packages stacked high in his arms.
Packages he’d clearly carried away from the house.
A combination of humiliation and anger wrestled inside Emily, twisting and turning until she didn’t know which emotion was winning.
“Oh, hi.” Looking at her from over the top of a box, he rushed to put the packages down. Emily didn’t know what the guy saw in her face, but he immediately said, “Give me two seconds and I’ll move the truck.”
“Is that the last of the packages?” Emily asked.
“Nah, there’s like a ton more, but I’m blocking the way and—”
“It’s all right,” she insisted. “I can park here for now.”
The front door was open, revealing a travertine foyer crowded by various boxes waiting to be sent back. Only days before Emily had watched as those packages arrived, one after the other, and she’d tried to guess what might be inside, like a kid in the days leading up to Christmas.
She didn’t remember when she stopped believing in Santa, but she’d been just as foolish to believe in happily ever after.
“Don’t forget to…” Charlene Wilson strode into the foyer, only to stop short when she saw her daughter. “Oh, Emily. I didn’t realize you were back already.”
Emily thought a look of uneasiness crossed her mother’s features, but it was hard to tell. Wearing tan slacks and a copper-colored silk blouse that complemented her brown hair and eyes, Charlene Wilson was as composed as always. Emotional outbursts were unacceptable in her world.
Yell and scream and let it all out until you feel better.
Emily wondered what her mother would do if she took Javy’s advice—if she yelled, screamed or even so much as raised her voice. She couldn’t imagine Charlene’s response. But when Emily realized she couldn’t picture herself actually doing any of those things, a feeling of discontent swept through her.
What was so wrong with real, honest emotion? Why did she feel as if she’d spent her whole life covering up…when she didn’t even know what she had to hide?
“I was planning to return the wedding gifts myself,” she told her mother stiffly as the driver came back inside and piled his arms high once more.
Waffle maker, she guessed as he picked up the first rectangle. Good thing it was going back. She loved waffles, and in the mood she was in, she’d likely eat forty-seven. Each and every one topped with whipped cream and powdered sugar.
“There’s no need for you to worry about it,” her mother was saying.
She would have hated doing it, Emily admitted. Every word she wrote to the people kind enough to send gifts would have made her feel more of a fool and a failure. And yet…“I said I would.”
“And now you don’t have to, Emily. It’s been taken care of.”
Just like her parents had taken care of everything. Everything she didn’t want to deal with and, in the case of Connor McClane, everything they hadn’t wanted to deal with. They’d done such a good job taking care of her, she’d missed out on the growing pains, where she was supposed to learn to take care of herself.
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask her mother about the money they’d paid Connor to leave town. About the money they’d wasted, since she never would have had the guts to run away with Connor, anyway.
But then Javy’s face flashed in her mind, his obvious love for his family’s restaurant shining in his dark eyes, and she reminded herself that things happened for a reason.
Taking a deep breath, Emily said, “Thank you, Mother.”
“You’re welcome,” Charlene said as she led the way toward the living room.
Emily always thought her mother had exceptional taste. It showed throughout the house, the living room being no exception. The rich green and beige tones of the couches were a perfect match for the gold-hued coffee and end tables. The floor-to-ceiling slate fireplace was the focal point of the room, although Emily couldn’t recall it ever being used, and a family portrait hung above the mantle.
The photographer had captured Emily’s perfect smile with the flash of his camera, but for the first time, Emily noticed how the smile never reached her eyes. For all the years of practice, she hadn’t gotten that part right.
“Did Aileen get in touch with you?” her mother asked.
“She did.”
“Good. I’m going to need your help with the dinner party.”
Emily turned away from the portrait as her mother took a seat on the couch. “My help?”
“Yes, it wouldn’t hurt for you to be more involved in your father’s business.”
Thinking that deciding on appetizers and selecting entrées would hardly help her father, Emily nonetheless said, “All right. I’ll help.”
“Good.” Charlene nodded in satisfaction, leaving Emily with the feeling she would regret her far-too-easy capitulation.
Later that evening, after swimming a dozen or so laps in the Olympic-size pool in the backyard, Emily lounged in a chaise. The outdoor lights highlighted the pool’s rock waterfall and the surrounding queen palms, but Emily had long ago aimed a few of the lights in her direction.
She loved the peace and quiet of the outdoors at night, even in the warmest months. Most evenings she paged through fashion magazines or read a romance novel, but tonight neither appealed. Instead, a legal notepad rested on her bare legs, and she chewed on the end of a pen as she pondered the list in front of her. A single line divided the fourteen-inch page, and each side had a heading. On the left, the words “What makes you happy?” On the right, “What do you want?”
So far, both sides were pathetically blank. She’d mentally run through her many hobbies and the dozens of activities she’d participated in over the first twenty-eight years of her life. From the pageants to the plays, to the ballet and ballrooms, she couldn’t help feeling she’d done all of it to make other people happy. Her parents, her teachers, her coaches.
She’d fallen into a habit of doing what was expected, of coloring inside the lines. And as much as she’d love to turn the world upside down, to live life like a Picasso, the page in front of her remained blank, except for the rigid, straight lines slicing across the paper.
Ripping off the sheet, she crumpled the paper with both hands and tossed it aside. She then turned the legal pad on its side. She drew a new centerline and rewrote the headings against the grain.
“What do I wa
nt?” she asked out loud. The splash of the waterfall echoed her question but offered no response.
Javy’s face flashed in her mind—his dark eyes and sexy smile. A small shiver raised goose bumps over her arms and legs, despite the ninety-plus–degree weather.
She lowered her pen, and the tip hovered over the right column. Tightening her grip, she moved the pen to the left side and wrote his name.
Coward, her conscience mocked.
You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met. The memory of Javy’s deep voice blended with the buzz of the cicadas in a nearby tree.
Straightening her back, she drew a definitive line across his name and moved the scrolling calligraphy to the right side, a feeling of satisfaction and anticipation coming over her with each letter she wrote.
Emily jumped as her cell phone rang. She normally left it inside when she went out to swim, and she had brought it out for only one reason. Her heartbeat picking up as she flipped it open, she said, “Hello?”
“Emily? It’s Javy.”
“Hi. That was fast.”
His low chuckle sent another round of goose bumps racing over her skin. “Fast? Sweetheart, I haven’t considered calling a girl moving fast since I was in second grade.”
Staring at his name written across the page, Emily wondered if she wasn’t the one moving too fast. Refusing to chicken out before she’d, well, crossed the road, Emily said, “I, um, thought you might be calling because you’d talked to your cousin.”
“I know. I was only teasing. I did talk to Anna, although I would have called you tonight even if I hadn’t. Just to make sure you’re all right.”
His concern washed over her, and Emily drew her knees closer to her chest, as if she could somehow keep this quivering feeling of anticipation trapped inside. “I’m fine,” she said, even as the toll of a long day threatened to sink her spirits.
He was silent so long, Emily began to wonder if she’d lost the connection. Finally, though, he sighed and said, “I hate to tell you, Emily, but you’re a terrible liar.”
The Wedding She Always Wanted Page 6