by Heather Lyn
Staring at myself in the mirror as I get ready, I hardly recognize my reflection. Yesterday after work, I got my hair cut. My chestnut brown hair is now only just past my shoulders, and the caramel highlights make my brown eyes pop. I also had the lady give me side-swept bangs. It makes me feel like a new person. I finish my makeup, going with a natural look with just mascara and lip gloss. Once I’m done, I give my hair a fluff and spritz on my favorite perfume. Even though I’m usually in heels, today I decide to go with a pair of ballet flats with dark skinny jeans.
Grabbing my purse, I lock the front door behind me and head to the diner. It’s the same one we went to last week, and I’m dying for their tuna melt. It’s finally getting warm out, so I drive the whole way with my windows down. It’s the beginning of May here in Tennessee and I’m already looking forward to the summer. Being a kindergarten teacher means I have every summer off and I love it.
Pulling into the small lot, I spot Aubrey’s Camry and find a parking space. Locking the doors, I head inside. Aubrey’s at a booth waving to me as I look around. Hurrying over to her, she gives me a hug and gasps.
“Holy shit Kenni, I freaking love your hair! When did you get it done?”
We sit across from each other and I laugh at her.
“Yesterday after I left school. I just needed to make a change.” I take a sip of the water that’s sitting on the table. “Did you order already?”
Aubrey nods at me. “Yes, ma’am. Your tuna melt should be out soon.”
This girl knows me so well. All the more reason to confide in her.
“So Aubs, are you busy after we eat? I wanted to talk to you about something and I want to do it in private. Can you come over after?”
“Yeah, of course. Noah’s out with Hunter, and I told him that Saturdays are our day together. You look nervous. Is everything all right?” I can hear the concern in her words and I try my hardest to keep the tears from forming. But they do anyway.
“Kenni….” She breaks off and grabs my hand on the table.
“I need to tell you everything, Aubs. I can’t continue keeping secrets. They’re eating me alive.” I sniff and grab a napkin to wipe at my eyes.
“Okay, Kenni. I love you. You’re the sister I never had. I’ve always known you kept a part of yourself hidden away, and I’m so happy you trust me enough to let me in.” Giving me a huge smile, she squeezes my hand.
“Love ya too, Aubs.” I wipe the remainder of my tears as the waitress comes over with our food. I have just picked my sandwich up to take a bite when the bell on the front door jingles. I look up as the people walk past and I’m immediately frozen in shock.
Grayson has his arm slung over the shoulder of the tiny blonde who’s with him. They’re both laughing at something together and he doesn’t even look my way. My hands are shaking, and Aubrey looks over at them as they sit down. They’re at a booth adjacent from us. He looks up as they sit and his eyes lock with mine. He gives me a smile and lifts his arm to wave at me. I turn away and notice Aubrey looking at me.
“Kenni, don’t worry. Maybe they’re just old friends. He wants you,” she tries to reassure me, but why should I care? I don’t want to date. Dating turns to love, and love ruins your life. Why should it matter that he’s clearly already moved on?
“It’s fine. He can do whatever he wants. I have no hold on him. He’s not mine.”
I go back to my lunch, trying not to look over at them. But I can’t help it because I do want Grayson. I want him so badly I ache with it. I’ve hardly made a dent in my food. He reaches out to kiss the blonde on the back of her hand. Like he did to me just last week. I’m pretty sure my lunch is about to come back up.
“Aubs, I’ll be right back.”
Without waiting for her to respond, I get up and head to the long hallway that leads to the bathrooms. I fling myself into the small room and take a deep breath before walking over to the sink and splashing some cold water on my face, grateful I didn’t wear a full face of makeup. I take a few more deep breaths, trying to get myself under control. It’s been a long time since I had a full-fledged panic attack, and the last thing I want is to have one now. I used to have them a lot in college, probably from the stress of my family and the whole situation. Once I have myself calmed down, I wipe the tears from my eyes and open the door.
I step out of the bathroom to see Grayson leaning against the wall. Crap!
“Suzy is my older sister, in case you were wondering.”
I realize he’s explaining the situation to me. I give him a small smile.
“I wasn’t wondering. It doesn’t matter because what you do is none of my business, Grayson.” I try to walk past him but he steps in my path, blocking me.
“It matters to me, Kennedy. Did you get the flowers?”
“Yes, they were lovely. But unnecessary.”
“I’m so sorry, Kennedy. I know I’ve come on strong, and I was an asshole the other night. But it’s like I just woke up and realized fuck, I want this girl. Why is that so hard for you to believe?” Grayson steps closer to me and I take a step back.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, Gray. I know you have feelings for me. That’s not the problem. There is no place in my life for a relationship. I’d only end up hurting you.”
Grayson smirks at me. “I’m a big boy. I think I can handle it.”
Shaking my head, I look up at him. I suddenly feel short standing next to his six-foot-four frame. “I can’t, Grayson. I just can’t.”
He steps even closer to me and places his hands on the wall next to my head, caging me in. My back bumps off the wall behind me.
Grayson leans down and buries his face in my neck, taking a deep breath.
“You smell so fucking good. I’ve missed you, Kennedy.” He runs his nose along my neck, pressing himself against me. My heart starts racing and I can feel my resolve quickly crumbling.
“Grayson….”
“Why are you fighting this, Kennedy? I know you want me. I know you want to feel me against you as I make you mine. I bet if I reached down I’d find that sweet pussy dripping for me. Tell me I’m wrong, baby, and I’ll leave you alone. Say the words, Kennedy.”
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
“Gray….” I whisper his name and look up at him. His hazel eyes are smoldering and he bites his bottom lip.
Screw it.
“I want you, Grayson. So bad.”
“Fuck yeah, you do.”
And before I can say anything else, his lips are on mine. I’m taken by surprise, gasping into his mouth. I feel rather than hear his groan, and I close my eyes. His lips are soft, yet firm, and they’re making me want to melt into a puddle. His hands come to rest on my neck, and I can feel his tongue seeking entrance. I part my lips and he immediately takes the hint. The second his tongue comes into contact with mine, he growls and rolls his hips into me. His erection digs into me, and I know my panties are soaked. I put my arms around his narrow waist and grasp the back of his shirt, slipping one hand under the hem and running my hand up his warm back.
Breaking the kiss, he pulls away, breathing heavily.
“Shit, Kennedy.” He leans his forehead onto mine. I close my eyes, trying to catch my breath. I can’t believe I just did that. He looks down at me with a smirk, and I reach up and touch my lips. I look at Grayson and my mind immediately goes to my dad. He was once infatuated with my mom. She once looked at him like he was the center of her world. They once loved each other deeply.
Fuck, I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I can’t do this, Grayson.”
Without making eye contact, I push past him and hurry back to Aubrey. When I get to the table, I grab my purse and tell her we need to go now. She motions to the waitress.
“Kenni, what’s going on?”
“Just follow me to my place. We can talk then.”
As I’m rushing, I see Grayson watching me from his table. He looks sad.<
br />
I don’t bother to look at him again before hurrying out to my car. I drive to my apartment in silence, Aubrey pulling in as I step out of my car. We go up to my place without exchanging words, but I know she’s dying to ask what happened. When we get inside, I kick my shoes off and go to the kitchen in search of wine.
“Kenni, you okay?”
I ignore my best friend and busy myself pouring a glass of my favorite merlot. Tears are burning my eyes and I know the second I look at her I’m going to lose it. I push the cork back in the bottle and take a sip.
“Kenni.”
I spin around to tell Aubrey to wait a second, but I can’t. One look at the concern on her face is my undoing. I place my glass on the counter and clap a hand over my mouth, but it does nothing to stop the sobs from ripping out of me. Aubrey comes over and pulls me into a hug. After holding onto her for a second, we go over to my couch and sit down.
“Jesus, Kennedy. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
I take a deep breath and then start talking. And I don’t stop until she knows every sordid detail of my life. Every. Single. Thing. I tell her my fears of being with Grayson and how, deep down, I think my feelings for him might be even stronger than I thought. How I’m afraid to let him in. My mom. My dad. Everything.
We cry together, and she also makes sure I know how proud of me she is.
“How the hell have you kept that in? I’ve been your best friend for eight years, Kenni. Have you told anyone this?”
Drying the last of my tears, I shake my head at her. “I’ve never told anyone about my family. It’s too painful and mortifying.”
“You know Grayson won’t think any less of you, right? He’s loyal and protective. If anything, he might want to be with you even more.”
“Yeah, I know, but I really can’t be with him. At least not right now. I’ve only just come to terms with my feelings. I need time to process everything. Hell, I only just told you my sob story. I’m not ready to tell him, and I’m not sure I ever will.”
“It’s not a sob story, Kenni. You’re stronger than you realize.”
***
Aubrey and I spent a couple hours just hanging out and talking. I wish I could say I felt better, but I don’t. Somehow, airing my dirty laundry has made it feel worse. It makes me feel more vulnerable and exposed. Grayson texted me earlier, and I told him the kiss was a mistake. He never responded. I’m pretty sure any thread holding our friendship together has been torn. He’s never gonna want to just be friends with me, and I can’t blame him.
Aubrey went home about an hour ago, and I’m just hanging around my house. I wish I had another friend; I really need to get out of the house, get all dolled up and go out for a few drinks. Glancing at the clock over my television, I see it’s six thirty.
Fuck it. I’m going out. I’ll head to Walker’s Taphouse and get myself a few beers. Maybe I’ll find someone to talk to.
Since it’s a sports bar, I decide on just a pair of jeans and heels, with a simple white blouse. I head over and see that it’s pretty busy, so I lock my car and head inside, making my way to an empty seat at the bar. I signal the bartender, who walks over to me. Dang, he’s hot. Blond hair slicked back, tats, piercings. Shit, Kennedy. Get a hold of yourself. Besides, Gray has tattoos too.
“What can I get for you, doll?” he asks, with a twang to his voice.
“Glass of white wine. Whatever you’ve got is fine.”
He smiles and walks away to fill my order. I tap my fingers on the bar as I wait.
“Anyone sitting here?”
I look up to see an incredibly handsome man gesturing to the stool next to me. Shaking my head at him, he smiles and sits next to me. When the bartender brings me my drink, the guy orders a draft beer. I take a sip of my wine as he turns to me.
“I’m Blake Ryan. And what’s your name, sweetheart?”
I reach out my hand to him. “I’m Kennedy Grant. Nice to meet you, Blake. What brings you to Nashville?”
He shakes my hand and smiles at me. “Business. Convention here this weekend for my job.”
As he talks I get a good look at him. His eyes are jade colored. He has black hair that he keeps neatly styled. His teeth are a little crooked, but are incredibly white. Blake looks nothing like Grayson.
“What is it that you do?”
“I’m a lawyer. All the guys from my firm are here.”
I sip my wine as we chat. “Where are y’all from?”
“Texas. Fort Worth area. Yourself?”
“Born and raised in Tennessee. Been here my whole life.”
He smiles at me and I can’t help but return it. It’s nice to talk to someone without the pressure of wondering if they want me. I can tell that Blake’s interested, but he’s not from here. I can make conversation with him and leave when I’m good and ready without feeling bad. I like that.
***
Several hours have passed and I’ve finally loosened up. I’ve only had a couple glasses of wine, and I’ve actually been having fun talking to Blake. He’s kind of strange, but he’s nice enough. I do need to get going soon though, before the wine goes to my head.
“Blake, this has been fun, but I really need to get going. Thank you for a fun night.”
I stand to leave but he grabs my wrist. “Don’t go yet. One more drink. Please.”
I look down at him and smile. “Okay.” Blake orders me another glass as I excuse myself to use the restroom. I hurry through my business and head back to the bar, where there’s a glass of wine waiting for me. I sit back down and take a big sip.
“Thank you, but I really have to get going after this glass.”
“Of course.” Blake gives me a grin, then winks at me.
Uh, okay then.
We continue to make small talk, but soon he starts making me feel uncomfortable. He keeps touching my arm, and my upper thigh. I don’t like it. Also, it feels like it’s getting hot in here. I go to stand up and the the bar starts spinning a little.
I didn’t think I had that last glass so fast. I should probably call Aubs and see if she and Noah can come get me and my car.
I head down the hallway towards the bathroom, I notice that everything is moving. My head feels funny too. I put a hand out to the wall to steady myself as I walk. I’ve almost made it to the bathroom when a hand wraps around my upper arm. I’m spun around and shoved back against the wall. Warm breath skirts over my skin and I can just barely make out another body next to me.
“I’ve been waiting for this all night.” He pulls his head back, and even in the dark light, I can see those jade eyes. Blake.
“What are you talking about?” I can feel myself slurring and I again wonder how that last glass of wine hit me so hard.
“I know you fucking want me. Taunting me all night. Now it’s time I get what I want.” He forces his mouth onto mine and I struggle away from him.
“Blake! Stop it! What are you doing?!”
Breaking the kiss, he glares down at me.
“Don’t act like you don’t want me, bitch. You’ve been fucking toying with me all night.”
“No, I haven’t. I don’t want you. I’m drunk and this isn’t right.” I’m having trouble keeping my head up now. Without warning, a blow strikes me across the face.
“Shut the fuck up! I know how much you want this. Now be quiet like a good girl or I’ll be forced to make you shut up.”
I struggle to get him off me, but between his strength and my dizziness I’m no match for him. And that’s when I realize that I’m not drunk. I’ve been drunk. I was fine until that last glass of wine. That he ordered. And had waiting for me when I got back from the bathroom. He put something in that last glass of wine. He had to.
Holy shit.
“Help! Help me, please! No, please!” I start yelling but he quickly clamps a hand down over my mouth. I bite his hand and he yelps, yanking it away.
“Stupid fucking bitch!” Grabbing me by the upper arms, he slams me against
the wall, my head snapping back and connecting with the hard surface. Flashes of light dance across my vision and I cry out in pain. I’m vaguely aware that he’s started to undo his belt buckle. I try to hang on, but I can feel myself getting sleepy. And I can taste the blood in my mouth.
I slide down the wall and hear a commotion. Suddenly Blake is jerked away from my line of sight, and I can hear the sounds of screaming and cursing. I’ve just landed on my butt when I feel someone in front of me.
“Kennedy? Can you hear me? Jesus fucking Christ, baby. Kennedy?”
I squint my eyes open and can barely make out Grayson’s face in the darkness. “Gray?” I whisper, my eyes closing again. I can feel his warm hands cup my face.
“Yeah, it’s me, Kennedy. I need you to stay awake, sweetheart. Help is on the way. C’mon, baby, I need you to stay awake for me. Please, Kennedy.”
His voice is so soothing that I can’t help the small smile that graces my face. As badly as I want to, I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. I start drifting off. The last thing I hear is Grayson pleading with me to stay with him.
CHAPTER 6
Grayson
“I don’t give a shit! She doesn’t have any family! I’m her goddamn fiancé and I want answers now!” I’m about ready to rip this nurse’s head off if she doesn’t take me to Kennedy. My nerves are already shot thanks to the events of the night, but this is ridiculous.
“Sir, I understand and I already told you. She’s in getting a head CT and they’re finishing up. I don’t have any other information. Now please lower your voice or you’ll be removed.” The nurse turns and leaves the waiting room, probably heading back to hell or wherever she came from.
Dropping into the chair next to me, I lean forward and lace my hands behind my head. Never have I felt the fear that I feel right now. And it won’t go away until I see Kennedy, see for myself that she’s really okay. And then I need to go find that fuckwad that did this. Noah and I decided to go out for drinks tonight and I saw that Kennedy had tagged herself on Facebook at Walker’s. Figured why not pop in and surprise her. I was surprised all right. That motherfucker who attacked her is lucky I didn’t rip his balls off and force feed them to him. Brody called his brother Garrett who’s a cop, he and his partner showed up to haul dickweed off to County. I just wish we’d found her earlier. Seeing that fucker bash her head off the wall had me seeing red, but Noah held me back from killing him. Instead I went to Kennedy.