He looks at me for a long moment. “No,” he says finally. “It’s not like we’re dating. But Ivy, if you think those girls over there have anything on you, you’re selling yourself short.”
I laugh shakily and try to make a joke. “So, you were looking at them,” I tease.
He cocks his head, as though he’s trying to read me. Finally, he smirks. “Well, I am human, after all. But I mean it, Ivy. Just because you don’t have fake tits and a pound of makeup on doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful. Hell, if anything, it means you’re more beautiful. You don’t need all that shit,” he says, cocking his head toward the wanna-be groupies.
Oh, God… Now, if anything I feel more mortified that he feels obligated to say all this. “Okay, can we just change the subject?” I say in a strangled voice.
Knox’s lips turn up at the corners. “Okay, cupcake. We can talk about something else. But,” he says, leaning forward and lowering his voice. “When we get back to the condo, we’re coming back to this subject. And I’m gonna show you just how fucking gorgeous, and sexy, and goddamn hot as hell you are. And I’m gonna keep showing you until you come all over my cock and scream my name so loud the neighbors will call the police.”
I’m so surprised I gasp, and start coughing so hard I have to take a few gulps of beer and take some deep breaths until I’m back to normal. The whole time, Knox is smirking at me like the cat that’s eaten the canary.
“That a yes?” he asks me with a chuckle when I’m finally done coughing.
“Um,” I say, reddening. “I think that might be an offer I can’t refuse.”
14
knox
I take Ivy home — to my place, for once — and fuck her like it’s our last day on earth.
By the time I get my key out to unlock my door, I’m so fucking hard there’s an undeniable tent in my pants. I pull Ivy to me and drag her across the threshold. I lift her up and press her into me, stifling a groan as she instinctively grinds her hips against me.
“I don’t know what it is,” she says breathlessly, “But I’m really, really horny right now.”
“Adrenaline,” I tell her, pinning her against the wall. “It’s a hell of an aphrodisiac.”
She moans and throws her head back, exposing her neck to me. I lean down and graze my lips against the soft skin. “Ohh,” she moans. “God, Knox, that feels so good…”
She’s not kidding. My hands are on her ass now, cupping them. I press against her, harder, and her lips part as she opens her eyes to look at me. The expression on her face is hungry. Any shyness is gone. Good. I want her completely without embarrassment. I want her to abandon herself to this.
“Tell me you want my cock,” I growl in her ear.
She takes in a breath and hesitates for only a second. “I… want your cock,” she breathes. I can tell she’s not used to talking like this. Her face flushes prettily as she says it, and it makes my chest hurt to see her opening herself to me.
I carry her into the bedroom and set her down. Once she’s on her feet, she surprises me: She reaches down to my jeans and palms my cock in her hand. I take in a sharp breath. “Shit,” I hiss. “You’ve got me pretty goddamn turned on, cupcake.” I have no idea how she does that. I haven’t gotten that turned on by just a girl feeling me through my jeans since I was in junior high.
But Ivy’s got a brazen, determined look on her face. She caresses me for a moment, her expression between desire and concentration. Then she’s undoing my fly. She draws me out, and runs her finger over the hot flesh. Jesus, I could come right now, just like this in her hand. It wouldn’t take much at all.
Ivy looks up at me through her eyelashes, her pupils dark and serious. Then she’s kneeling down in front of me, that same hungry expression in her eyes. I tense up, determined to let her do this until I can’t take it anymore. She wraps a hand around my shaft and brings her lips to the tip. She sticks her pink tongue out and takes an experimental swipe against the skin of my head, and I have to ball my hand into a fist to keep control. “Fuck, Ivy,” I groan. “Jesus, you have no fucking idea how good that feels.”
A soft sound of satisfaction comes from her throat as she wraps her warm, soft lips around the head and bobs slowly forward, enveloping it with her mouth. It’s so wet, so fucking good, that I close my eyes, fisting a hand in her hair and trying not to move so I can make it last as long as possible. I feel her tongue slide against the bottom of my shaft, and then she opens her mouth a little more and takes me deeper. I open my eyes again to look at her, because holy shit. Just watching her do this, seeing her plump lips wrapped around my shaft, it’s all I can do not to thrust forward, fill her mouth till my dick hits the back of her throat. But I don’t. I let her control the pace, let her decide how far she can go.
As she sucks me, something happens. I can see it in her eyes. She started doing this to give me pleasure. But the farther she goes, I see her own lust awakening. Her eyes flutter closed as she bobs deeper, a low moan vibrating against my cock. She’s loving this, loving the taste of me in her mouth. She reaches up, tentatively, and begins to caress my balls, and my hips jerk. Fuck. I pull quickly out of her mouth before I can come, ignoring her mewl of protest.
“Not like that,” I growl at her as I pull her up hard by her arms. “Not now.” I toss her on top of the bed. “Undress.” I pull off my clothes, hearing my T-shirt tear slightly as I rip it over my head. Then my jeans are in a pool on the floor. I watch her pull off her shirt, groaning in satisfaction as she looks up at me, bites her lip, and reaches back to unclasp her bra. I want to stroke myself at the sight but I need to calm down, so I resist the urge and just admire as she kneels on the bed and removes her jeans, then pulls the waistband of her panties down and off.
I get down on the bed next to her and pull her to me, dragging her down onto the mattress. Lying on my back, I pull Ivy up on top of me, taking one pert nipple in my mouth and beginning to suck and tease her with my tongue. She opens her mouth wide and gasps, her muscles tensing. She slides her slick channel against my pulsing shaft, lips parted in pleasure. I drink her all in, teasing first one nipple, then the other. I love how she moans and writhes against me. I want to lower her onto me and fuck her, but first, I need to taste her. Now.
I pull Ivy up by the waist until her legs are straddling my head. For a second she freezes as she realizes what’s about to happen. At first, I think she’s going to resist. I exhale against the skin of her thighs, and as she feels my hot breath her thighs open wider in arousal. She lets me slide her forward, trembling slightly. I thrust my tongue into her hot, wet pussy with a groan. She arches her back and shudders, a soft cry escaping her. Then she begins to move her hips, sliding herself against my mouth as I pleasure her. My cock is so hard it’s throbbing, my balls aching almost painfully. She tastes so good. God. I want everything at once. But first things first. First, I want her to come on my tongue.
Ivy’s body begins to quiver, her thighs tensing as she moves herself against me. I take her clit between my lips and begin to suckle. A low groan of satisfaction escapes me as she starts to moan loudly and clutch at me with increasingly desperate hands. “Oh, God, Knox,” she whispers, “Oh, God, it’s so good. Please.”
The pink bud of her clit is so plump and swollen I know exactly how close she is. Her soft, desperate cries beg me to help her get what she needs. Flatting my tongue, I drag it against the sensitive nub, long and slow. Then I do it again. Her entire body tenses. Then she goes off like a rocket, bucking and writhing against my tongue, her juices coating my lips and chin.
She’s still spasming when I grab for the condom on the nightstand and rip it open, sliding it down onto myself with a shiver. I grab her hips again and lower her onto my shaft, groaning deeply at how goddamn amazing it feels. I watch her ecstatic face as I push inside her heat and slickness, filling her. She bites her lip and arches her head back, savoring the feeling. The sight of it all is enough to make me lose all control, but I force myself to focus.
Ivy’s body takes over then, and her hips start to roll, taking me deep inside her as she pants and writhes. I let her control the rhythm, completely fucking entranced by the sight of her riding me. I hold back as much as I can, wanting this to last as long as possible. She falls forward toward me, her hair falling into her face and tickling my chest. She arches her hips, so that her pussy lips slide slickly against my cock as she rises and falls.
“Fuck,” I hiss. I never want this to end. I want her in my bed like this, forever. My hands run over her ass, up her waist, to her full breasts. My thumbs graze her nipples, and she croons my name and plunges me deep inside her again.
It’s starting.
“Knox,” she mewls.
“I know, baby,” I tell her. “I’m close. I’m taking me with you. Come on my cock, baby.”
My balls tighten. Her pussy tightens around me. Time seems to stop.
We shatter.
My hips buck upwards as I drive inside her and shout her name. I empty myself deep, reveling in the feel of her channel clenching me. Ivy falls forward again, her head on my chest, and I clasp her tight as we shudder together. All the tension of our mutual climax ebbs around us, slowly dissipating, until there’s just us, me holding her tight in my arms, the two of us breathing in unison.
“Ivy,” I whisper against her skin, not trusting myself to say any more.
“I have to go away tomorrow,” I tell her later as we lie together in the dark. “I have a mini-camp, in Rochester.”
“How long?” she murmurs softly.
“Three days.” I don’t want to go. Not right now. Shit, even the thought of leaving this bed sucks, let alone leaving town for three days and not seeing Ivy. But I have to, so there’s no point bitching about it.
“Oh.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I guess I’ll see you when you get back then.”
“Damn right you will,” I growl, and pull her to me for a deep kiss.
She snuggles against my chest and sighs tiredly. Then the sigh turns into a groan. “Shit,” she says. “I have to take Zeus out.”
Ivy starts to get up but I pull her back into my arms. “I can do that.”
“No. Don’t worry about it,” she shrugs. “I’ll go.” She kisses me and detaches herself from my arms.
“Come back when you’re done?” I ask. It feels kind of weird to say it, but I really don’t want her to go.
Ivy looks at me for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then a small smile lifts a corner of her mouth. “Okay,” she nods.
As she gets dressed to go next door, I offer again to go with her to walk Zeus, but she tells me to stay here and keep the bed warm. I can’t argue with that. She pads softly down the hallway. The front door opens and closes.
I lie there, waiting for Ivy to get back. The scent of her shampoo is still in the air, on the pillow next to me. There’s a little ache in my chest, half-painful, half-nice. It feels good to miss her like this, knowing she’ll be back in a moment.
I’m starting to drift off when there’s a soft buzz by the foot of the bed. I reach down and grab the leg of my jeans, then haul them up to me and grab my phone out of the back pocket. It’s Cash.
“Hey, brother,” I say. “What’s up?”
“Gettin’ closer, dude. I’m in Nebraska now. Should be there day after tomorrow. I’ve been stopping along the way to hang with friends.”
“I won’t be here when you get here, then,” I tell him. “Got a three day training thing that starts tomorrow. You can crash here though, and I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Cool, thanks,” he replies easily.
“I’ll leave the key under the mat for you.”
“Got it. Talk to you.”
“Talk to you.” I hang up and toss the phone on my nightstand. I can hear Ivy moving around next door now, so she and Zeus must be back from their walk. Even though I try to stay awake until she comes back to my place, I’m too fucking exhausted to manage it. By the time Ivy slides back into bed beside me, I’m out like a light until morning.
15
ivy
The next morning, I stay at Knox’s place and hang out with him while he packs for his mini-camp. Then I walk him down to his car and watch him drive away.
I’m floating on this weird hope-cloud, and I don’t know how to climb down off of it. Knox and I haven’t really talked about anything — about any of this, whatever this is — but as I watch his SUV drive off down the street, I have to admit to myself that this feels sort of… promising. Yesterday, going bungee jumping with him, was so much fun. And when he asked me whether I’d be up for something exciting the next time he asked… well, it really felt like he meant it.
And last night, in bed… I shiver a little, thinking about it. Sex with Knox is so much more than it’s ever been with anyone before. It just goes… deeper. And not just physically. The way he held me last night as we came together, kissing my hair as I shook against him. It makes me dare to hope this isn’t just about sex for him.
Because I don’t think it is for me.
That afternoon and all the next day, I’m back in the library, doing more research. Knox is never far from my mind. Unfortunately, that’s not just because of last night. The more I delve into the research on spinal cord injury in athletes, the more I wonder about how much he could be at risk. I even look up what a wide receiver is, because I have no idea what they do. I learn that they’re mostly responsible for catching the ball from the quarterback and gaining yardage. They also block for running backs, whatever those are. Wide receivers have to be fast, I learn, and they get tackled a fair amount, though not nearly as much as running backs.
The more I read, the more freaked out I get. I think back to the biographical article I read about Knox a few days ago. I think about his friend from high school who got injured. Chris Payne. That could be Knox, my brain keeps telling me. That could happen to him.
Does Knox think about any of this stuff? Does he ever worry about the risks? A memory of our bungee jumping date comes back to me now as I sit in my quiet study carrel. On our way there, I told him I never understood why people would take unnecessary risks for fun.
“Life is risk, Ivy,” he told me, shrugging. “You’re either planning, or you’re living. You can’t do both at the same time.”
At the time, his words had stopped me short, and made me question myself and the choices I’d made. My life has been all about working hard and making sacrifices now, with the idea that someday I’ll have earned the right to relax and enjoy the fruits of my labor. My whole life is planning, putting things on hold while I work toward a future goal. Knox seems like my opposite in so many ways. He does what he wants, it seems, regardless of the consequences.
Yesterday, I found myself wishing I could be more like him.
Today, I’m not so sure.
After spending hours cooped up in the library, trying to concentrate and push away nagging thoughts of Knox, I’m feeling the need for some company, so I go to the neuroscience department to track down Alan and Robin. Alan’s sitting in his teaching assistant office, finishing up some grading. Robin, as always, is in the lab. I convince them both to come out with me for happy hour. We walk into the campus town to a dive bar called The Library, and gorge ourselves on cheap nachos and rail drinks. It does me good to have some social interaction that doesn’t come in the form of a 6’3” wide receiver. Even though we spend the entire time talking about neuroscience research, our professors, and how busy and stressed we are.
As I listen to Alan describe a recent phone call he got from a student’s parent, demanding that he change a grade on one of the student’s exams, a strange thought occurs to me. Even though my bungee jumping adventure with Knox was scary as hell and almost sent me into a panic attack, after the jump I felt freer and more relaxed than I have in years. It seems crazy to think about it, but maybe in a way Knox is right. I need to plan less, and risk more.
Which is pretty much the
exact opposite of what I was thinking two hours ago in the library. I feel like I’m getting some sort of emotional whiplash, going back and forth in my head like this.
The three of us finish our food and drinks and I say goodbye to Robin and Alan. My mind is a preoccupied jumble on the way home, thinking of Knox and what his presence in my life means. I have to laugh at myself, though, for winding myself up in knots like this. Knox would probably say I’m overanalyzing the very thing that I should be just enjoying for what it is.
But even so, I can’t stop myself from wondering: What is this thing between us, exactly?
Zeus greets me at the door when I get home, and I guiltily realize that normally I would have taken him out at least an hour ago. I make it up to him with an extra-long stroll through the neighborhood to the local park. I even risk taking off his leash when we get there, and find a big stick to throw for him to run after. He’s so big it almost looks like he’s running in slow motion, all huge limbs and lolling tongue. Zeus is pretty terrible at catching things in his mouth, and it’s hilarious to see him bounding after the stick every time I throw it, overshooting where it lands because he’s too heavy and uncoordinated to stop himself in time.
After half an hour or so of playing fetch, I’m feeling in much better spirits when we get back to the condo. I decide I need to give myself the evening off from working to just relax and do something mindless. I browse through the movies on Franklin’s streaming video service until I find a decent romantic comedy, and decide to pop some popcorn.
I’m about half an hour into the movie when I hear a voice on the other side of the wall, coming from Knox’s condo.
It’s Knox.
Snap Count Page 8