Haven From Hell: Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

by Won, Mark

  Phil and Cindy just kept repeating themselves. I made a mental note to teach Phil how to operate a toilet. Maybe get him some fiber pills. The Fullers, Parkers and Mrs. Cook were all totally on board. They’d do anything for their kids. The Hunts were in the same boat for their granddaughter’s sake. Donna had Tammy’s fear under control but Donna looked angry about everything. Sue was a peach. I winked at her. The Smiths looked too shell shocked to think straight. The doctor was busy trying to console his girlfriend, Carla. I made another mental note to see if he would look in on Mr. Magog later. Arthur Page looked vastly tired, and his wife calculating. Annabelle turned out to be quite a looker, a real catch for Major. You know, for an elderly sort. They must have had 120 years between them. Mostly on his end.

  Mr. and Mrs. Weaver showed up right about then. One had a combat shotgun and the other a battle rifle. I gave Major a nervous glance, ready to move, but he stopped me. He announced to the room, “Mr. and Mrs. Weaver will be acting as our security force from now on. Please afford them every courtesy. They are here to help. Both are former military and have my full confidence and support.”

  I raised my hand. “What, Luke,” Major said. Not asked, said.

  “Will either Mr. or Mrs. Weaver be taking over any shifts in the security room.” Please, please, please, please!

  “No.” Shit!

  That’s when Major got a call on his work phone. It had to be from Bob. He listened for a minute, then turned to me, “Get up there and help Bob. Remember protocol.” Now what?

  Back in security Bob was staring at the monitor bank. There was a crowd of people huddled in front of the gate. A couple looked like they’d tried to climb it. That told me right off that these were stupid people. The fence was very clearly marked ‘DANGER ELECTRIC FENCE’. It even had one of those little pictures of a guy getting zapped. I wondered if the second guy watched the first guy fall before he thought it would be a good idea to try his luck. I decided to name them Zap One and Zap Two as soon as I figured out which touched the fence first.

  Bob said, “They want in. What does Major want us to do?”

  I said, “We follow protocol.”

  “What’s protocol for this? They might be sick or something.”

  “You never read the manual, did you Bob?

  “How was I supposed to know we’d need all that shit? I read part of it.”

  “Unlock the gate for them. When they’re inside, close the gate and lock it.” Then I thumbed the exterior comm button.

  “I’m opening the gate for you. Remain calm and enter. Please don’t touch the gate.”

  Once they were all inside, including Zap One and Zap Two, I spoke up again, “Proceed to the dome. It is the large dome shaped concrete structure in the middle of the fenced in area. Follow the driveway and you’ll come right to it.”

  Bob said, “Jeez, they’re not stupid!” Bob had a point. Aside from the windmills the dome was the only structure inside the fence. The whole area was a meadow. Anyone could see the driveway leading directly to the dome. I do love protocol.

  “That’s protocol. You want to do it?”

  “No, you’re doing okay.”

  When they reached the dome’s big doors, dragging their two zapped companions along, I told them “I’m about to open the doors. Please ent-”

  On another monitor I saw a huge mob of people stumbling toward the gate. They were all what Major called ‘infected’. A few of the infected broke from the mob and started running toward our little group of twenty-five people standing inside the fence.

  “Did you lock the fucking gate?” I asked Bob, as I opened the big dome doors.

  “Yeah.”

  Back on the comm, “Get inside now!” To their credit, they did follow instructions well.

  I closed the vault doors and said, “Remain calm. Everything is under control. You’re safe now. You are currently standing in the car port area. Please do not touch the vehicles. If you look around you will see a flashing exit sign.” I began clicking that button. “Please proceed through the door directly beneath the sign.” Once they got that far, “Ahead you will see an elevator and stairs. Do not try to use them. I repeat, do not try to use them. You are in quarantine. You may be infected with an unknown agent. Remain calm. Open the doors to your right and left. You will find accommodations and supplies for your use. All rooms with doors labeled with the words ‘Emergency Placement’ are for your use. It is recommended that you ration your use of supplies. All supplies are bundled in one day-use packages. Please find a package corresponding with today...” I kinda got into it after a while. I would have to ask Major if they could use the pool. We couldn’t reach it without going through them, but there was no reason they shouldn’t have some fun.

  Watching the infected try and walk through a fence was kind of hypnotic. I’d turned off the electricity to the fence after about ten minutes. The shock had no effect, except to waste power. All the shambling horde were stuck at the perimeter but those fast ones were over the razor wire in a heartbeat. I’d never seen anything like it. They hardly paused before tearing enough of their skin to clear the fence. Once Major joined us he had me turn on the power to the fence again so he could see the lack of effect for himself. It was mystifying.

  Our new neighbors seemed to be getting along pretty well. We had a phone by the stairs they could use to communicate with us. They told us the town was dead. We’d kind of figured. Actually I was a bit surprised to find any survivors. Non-psychotic survivors, I mean. It seemed hopeful. After all the insanity started, all those newcomers remembered that we had this big old reconditioned missile silo a few miles outside of town. They met each other on the way, just outside the gates.

  Major inquired after Mr. Magog.

  I replied, “Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. The doc needs to see him.”

  A harsh glare, “Why does Dr. Wright need to see Mr. Magog?”

  “Because he attacked me once we got to his rooms. I didn’t have a choice.”

  Another harsh glare, “Why did he attack you?”

  “Because he’s a dick, I guess. I told him he had to stay, he told me he had to go. Things got physical.”

  Major took a moment to analyze that and called the doc. Then he asked me how bad off Mr. Magog was. I told him that Mr. Magog would be laid up for a couple of days. Major went off to see for himself and I went to bed. I told Bob that I’d be back after his shift.

  -

  Some time passed. Maybe a couple of weeks. We all got more comfortable with the lock down lifestyle. Major handed out firearms to Bob and I. Phil learned how to ration his toilet paper. Mr. Magog learned how to shut the fuck up. School classes continued, with Sophia Fuller and Tess Parker taking over the teaching (Ms. Butcher had never made it back). After three days enough of the power grid had failed so that we were no longer getting ‘live’ coverage.

  We watched the dead on the monitors in the security station. That’s what they were. Dead. Their bodies started to rot. Some had bullet holes in them. Didn’t slow them down any. Most were already pretty slow. Eventually, they all just wandered away. We made real sure all of the fast dead things cleared out too. The razor wire didn’t bother them any more on the way out than it did on the way in. Those fast ones looked kind of off. You know the look I mean. No hair, emaciated, with pointy fingers and icky long tongues. Still rotting, but not as much.

  Major kept going on and on about the beating Mr. Magog took. Like I’d done something morally questionable or something. Eventually I laid it out for him, “Mr. Magog needed a beating. That’s the only way arrogant rich people understand anything. Just like arrogant poor people, really. He would have continued to cause trouble until forcibly restrained, spreading panic the whole time. Now, he’s laid up with broken ribs and can’t actually do anything. When he heals, his own cowardice will keep him quiet and obedient. Alone, he knows that he’s to weak to do anything. It seemed the most efficient solution. Well, that or kill him, and I’m not sure about body
disposal protocol. What should I have done differently?”

  Major didn’t have an answer to that one. From then on I got treated with a lot less contempt. When word got around, people seemed to deplore my methods but they treated me better anyway. Weird.

  Sue and I finally had some time to spend together. We spoke of marriage. It sounds easy, because there was no one around to preform a ceremony, but I knew she was serious. I agreed that the first legitimate preacher we came across could do the job. Why not? I loved her.

  The upstairs neighbors gave me a call on my shift. It seemed that they had run out of food packages. I had to ask myself how even the most gluttonous people in the universe could go through years of food in a little over a week. In my mental process, I went out on a limb and concluded that they were either lying to try and sneak inside the vault, or they weren’t. So I called Bob.

  My call must have awoken him, Bob sounded out of it. “What?” It came out as a croak.

  So this is what waking someone up after only two hours sleep feels like. Neat. “Hey, uh, Bob, when was the last time you actually did the quarantine inventory?”

  “Uh, like, just before this all went down.” Bob was a bad liar. He was impossible to teach.

  “Guess again, you dumb monkey. They’re out of food up there.” Silence.

  I tried to prod him, “So when was the last time...”

  “I dunno. Maybe four years back. Wait…how do you know it’s gone?” Bob really was a good guy. Just a little slow sometimes.

  “Major says he wants you up here in thirty minutes. See ya.” I hung up.

  I had to ask myself, where would tons of food go? Who would steal unlabeled cans of mystery meat? If it was someone who lived here, who would steal from their own potential larder? Who’s that stupid?

  I gave Phil a call. “Hey, Phil, it’s Luke here. Why did you take some of the quarantine rations?” I kept it casual. Totally non-judgmental

  “There was a major food drive going on in town. They’ve been running it all year long for the last few years now. Cindy and I would just grab a few boxes every time we went into town.” Phil seemed genuinely clueless.

  I grabbed a calculator and did some quick math. Phil or Cindy went to town most days. Say, three hundred days per year at four cases a trip… That’s twelve hundred cases per year, if I’d pushed the buttons right.

  “Thanks Mr. Glover. That’s all I needed.” Sigh. I couldn’t even curse him.

  The real question was what to do about it. I called the folks up above and told them to hold on. Then I went to the stores on level 14, across from the pumps. I filled the elevator to capacity, put on a fully contained hazmat suit, checked the M-16 I’d been given, grabbed some heavy duty cleaner and took the elevator up to the dome level. As soon as the doors opened I cautiously looked out.

  A few hungry looking people were looking in on me with a deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression. I must have looked pretty strange with the hazmat and M-16. I told them, “Move the food,” and they did.

  Then I called Major. “Hey, Major, It’s Luke. Guess what I did?” I knew better than to expect an answer to that kind of question, so I just filled him in.

  All he said was, “Why, Luke?” He sounded so tired. Old guys need their sleep.

  “I couldn’t let them starve. Could you?”

  “You didn’t have to go with the shipment. We needed you down here.” Not need. Needed. Past tense. As in, I wouldn’t get back down below.

  “Well, It’s like this, Major. These people are either going to make us sick or not, and we need to know. That’s why I’m going to take this hazmat suit off and see what happens. If they’re all carriers then everyone in the vault can never come into contact with any survivors, ever. If that’s the case, then I figure the sooner you send these people away, the better for all concerned. Frankly, the future’s with them and everyone left in the vault is as good as dead, anyway.

  “But, if I don’t get sick, then in a couple of days you’ll have good reason to hope things are safe. Relatively speaking. What do you think?”

  Major said, “That’s a brave move son. I’m proud of you. The situation being what it is we’ll do things your way. But next time we need to talk first. You can’t just spring this on someone. People need prior warning. Also, you left your post.” He had a point there.

  So I had the newcomers tie me to a chair and take the headpiece off my suit. The air smelled the same as the rest of the vault. After a few tense, expectant moments, they let me loose and I got my gun back. No problems. It was a big relief.

  During my three day exile, I showed everyone up top the pool room. They had already found it, but for some reason hadn’t been using it. I fixed that. We played water polo, Marco Polo, dolphins and sharks and invisi-bottle. Good times.

  After the three days, we tried introducing people from the silo to the newcomers, one at a time. We started with the Weavers, then Major, then Bob. Nobody died or turned into a psycho. After that we combined the two groups. Or tried to anyway.

  Chapter 3: Service, Bob gets Revenge, and an Unhealthy Shade of Purple

  It took about two days for the complaints to start coming in. I honestly didn’t see any problems. All the newcomers slept up above, they let other people pick movies, and did their best to stay out of the way. Phil and Cindy were first. Phil called Major so I only heard half the conversation.

  After picking up and listening for an instant Major suddenly jerked to full attention, “Are you under attack?” Then, after a moment, he slumped back down with a look of contempt for his tormentors writ large all over his face.

  “Just a minute. Let me check. Yes, they did set aside an hour today for the lounge.” He listened for about five full minutes. Welcome to my world, Major. I had to turn away to hide my grin.

  “We don’t usually trouble ourselves if someone goes a bit long, Phil. The schedule doesn’t have anyone else down for now, anyway. What’s the problem?” Another pause.

  “No, I don’t know what they’re doing. Is it something dangerous?” “They’re doing what?” “Huh. Well, good for them.” Followed by another ten minutes of, what I knew from personal experience to be, incoherent babble.

  “Look, Phil, I’ll get down there right away and free up the room, okay?” He hung up, to my unsuppressable snickers.

  “I’m glad we got you back, Luke. You have no idea how important morale is in a situation like this.” I had no idea what the heck he was talking about. “That’s why I’m sending you to take care of the problem. The newcomers time in the lounge is up for today. Do not, I repeat not, give Phil a beating over this. I don’t care what he says.”

  “I’m on it Major.” Like I’d give Phil a beating. It’d be like beating a child for filling his diaper.

  Once down on level 13 I found the lounge empty. I checked the theater. Bob and Shine (or maybe Joy) were necking. Way to go Bob. I didn’t want to interrupt so I backed out quietly and gave Phil a call.

  Cindy picked up. “Hello.”

  “Hey, Cindy, I’m down here looking at the lounge and nobody’s here. What’s the deal?”

  “My name is Mrs. Glover.” Sigh.

  “Hey, Mrs. Glover, I’m down here looking at the lounge and nobody’s here. What’s the deal?”

  In her favorite petulant voice she said, “Well, of course they’re gone now. Phil had to run them off. Why weren’t you there sooner? You’re the one getting paid to take those kinds of risks.” Paid? Does this woman think she still has a bank account?

  “Right, thanks. Say, could you please put Phil on the line?” She was kind enough to do so.

  “Hey, Phil, I’m down here looking at the lounge and nobody’s here. What’s the deal?”

  “Once I told them Major was on his way, they cleared right out. Put the fear of the Universe in them.” He seemed pretty satisfied with himself.

  “Good job! Thanks!” I hung up before he asked me to clean something.

  I took the elevator up to the
dome level, where most of the newcomers spent most of their time. On the way I considered giving Major a call but rejected the idea. Obviously, he was having a little fun at my expense. What he didn’t know was that wandering around talking to people was better than hanging out in security, with him, watching a bunch of screens.

  Up top I found Jerry, the de facto leader of the newcomers. I had to ask,“Hey, Jerry, I was down there looking at the lounge and nobody was there. What’s the deal?”

  He looked a little confused for a moment but recovered nicely. “Mr. Glover told us we had to leave, so we did.”

  I said, “They weren’t in the lounge either.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me.”

  “Jerry, my boss totally left me in the dark on this one. So could you just tell me what the fuck is going on?” Maybe I’d give Phil a few slaps, after all.

  Jerry said, “We were holding a service when Mr. and Mrs. Glover interrupted. I hadn’t realized anyone wanted the room so I ran my sermon over by a bit. I do apologize for any difficulty I’ve caused.”

  “You were having church? Wait a minute, you’re a minister?”

  He just about had enough time to say yes before I had Sue on the line. We agreed there was no time like the present. She got up there in record time. I called Major and Bob to let them know. They both showed up for the ceremony, which surprised me. Pastor Jerry was happy to oblige. It was short and sweet with too few pictures, but it was the best move of my life.

  Jerry was a pastor this whole time and I never even knew, because he never used the title. Always just went by his name. Very informal. When I asked him why, he said he didn’t want to scare anybody off. Why would anyone be afraid of a pastor? It’s not like they beat people up or anything.

  After the wedding, Major gave me the rest of the day off. Sue and I decided to tell her parents. They were not happy. Tammy cried. Not the good kind of crying with all the well wishing and hope for the future. The other kind of crying, like when someone’s dog dies. Donna got right in my face and tried to scratch my eyes out. I performed an expeditious tactical withdrawal with a minimum of blood loss. The rest of the day went real well, though. Best day ever.