I mean, fuck, I’ve heard the rumors about men who purchase women to treat them the way he did to Marisole. I’m not naïve. This world is dark, damaged, and I doubt it’ll ever be good. People can hope for that type of shit, but the reality is it won’t happen. People are selfish, too selfish to want to help others and let them have a good life.
Marisole walks out of my bathroom and has her hair in a high ponytail, but she has bangs . . . what the fuck?
“Do you like it?” She smiles brightly, walking toward me.
“I like you, period, bangs or not. But how the fuck did you do that?”
“I cut it, obviously.” She rolls her eyes and laughs.
“Yeah, more like how did you?” I know I don’t have scissors or a knife in here. The first day she was here, I made sure to take anything dangerous outside of the bedroom, and then when she told me she tried to kill herself, I made another scan. Hell, I took out belts, anythin’ that could be dangerous.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Marisole tells me. She should know me better than this, of course, I want to know.
“Mari,” I say her name as a warning, deepening the tone of my voice.
“Fine. I found toenail clippers, so I used them to clip off my hair.” At her admission, my face drops in disgust. I had a fungal infection on one of my toes not too long ago and she used the . . . God, never did I think some shit like this would happen. I have a hard time refraining from gagging and Marisole rolls her eyes and walks to the door. “Dinner’s in a bit, yeah?”
“Yeah, let’s go walk near the beach. It’s been a while since I’ve been there and it’s damn beautiful this time of day.”
Marisole nods. “Okay, sure.”
I walk over to where Marisole is by the door and we make our way into the hallway. Before I know it, we’re walkin’ down to the beach and I don’t think I’ve seen her smile like this since she’s been here. Her eyes are huge, like a kid in Disneyland.
“You good?”
Marisole turns to look at me and licks her bottom lip, “Yeah, it’s just so beautiful.”
At her comment, I furrow my brows. “You’re actin’ like you’ve never seen the beach before.”
Her joy-filled expression drops from her face. “I haven’t, at least, not in Delaware.”
“What? You’ve been here for years and—”
Marisole immediately interrupts me, not letting me get another word in. “Ravage, he kept me at the club. I never left the property, not except that one time I did a deal for him.”
Fuck. I don’t know what I can even say to her right now. I don’t think there are any words that could make things better, so I wrap my arm around her waist and walk with her. “I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through. You were dealt a shit hand.”
“Yeah, but don’t you think we both have? I mean, think about it . . . all these years apart and look where we are now.”
“Still, if I knew where we would’ve ended up, damn, Mari. I would’ve fought harder, especially when I think about what you went through.” I have no problem admitting where my heart is, and this will show me if the woman I’ve loved for as long as I can remember feels even a fraction of the same for me. I lied to Gamble about what I wanted with Marisole. I told her I’m just her friend, how I’m just helpin’ her out, but it’s all a lie. I’ll never be able to be just friends with this woman.
Marisole inhales deeply and looks up at me. “This probably sounds crazy, but if I had to go through it all again, I would. I would as long as it led me straight back to you in the end.”
Fuckin’ hell.
“Keep sayin’ shit like that, baby, and I’m gonna have to kiss you,” I murmur, completely caught off guard by her words.
A flick of excitement crosses her eyes and she looks down at the ground before speaking. “Maybe I want you to.”
Well, fuck. I’m not gonna keep holdin’ myself back. Not anymore.
I use the arm I have wrapped around her waist and turn her against me. We’re right at the edge of the beach where the water is merely a few inches from hittin’ our feet. I take my alternate hand and cup the back of her head as I bring my lips down onto hers. This kiss is different than any other way I’ve claimed her mouth before.
I’m takin’ my time with her, flutterin’ my lips over hers in a sensual manner. She moans against my mouth and my heart beats even faster, knowin’ I’m givin’ her exactly what she wants. I won’t rush her. We’ll take this slow and we’ll continue to take it slow. Marisole has been through living hell and I don’t want to be a dick when it comes to the way she might be feelin’.
I knew back then the same way I know right now. Marisole has always been the woman for me. Only, this time I won’t let her go. I will never make the same mistake again.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Marisole
I’ve made it two entire weeks without taking another hit. I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about it because I have, but the mental euphoria that takes over me is better than any drug. I spoke to Ravage about going to a couple of NA groups once things settle down, and he thinks it would be a great idea. I even spoke to Rosa last week and she’s supportive of the idea too.
She asked me when I’m going to come to Montana, given I’m not going through withdrawals anymore and I broke the hard news to her. I’m not going to Montana. It made sense for me to go with her before because she’s the only other part of my support system besides Ravage, but when she was making this plan, she didn’t even know Ravage existed. Hell, I didn’t even know being with him again would be a possibility, but here we are. He literally stood by me during the most difficult time. Sure, he wasn’t around for three of the days I was going through withdrawals . . . but I needed that time alone. I didn’t know it then, but it was important for me to take time and reflect. Plus, I wasn’t the best person to be around anyway.
I’m still having issues with sleeping and my anxiety shoots through the roof sometimes. It can only be expected. I’m new at this whole recovery thing, but I truly intend to follow it through. I used heroin to cope with my life, but I don’t need to cope anymore. I’m no longer a prisoner. I’m no longer being raped every day. I’m no longer being tossed around like I’m an object and not a person.
My life has completely changed in the shortest time. It’s so short that sometimes I even have trouble accepting the fact this is real. I used to wake up every day to a nightmare, and now I wake up to a daydream.
I’m living in a place where I’m accepted, where people don’t ask about my history. A couple of the porn stars give me dirty looks every once in a while, but I don’t pay much mind to them. Flora, the woman who’s Needles’ ol’ lady, tells me they’re just jealous because I came back into Ravage’s life in the blink of an eye. I didn’t understand what she was saying at first, but she took the time to explain some women want to be with officers of the club. She’s opening me up to a completely different type of biker lifestyle, but I’m grateful for the friend. Riva is super sweet too, but she mainly hangs around Gamble since she has a baby too.
I’ve been working on communicating more with Ravage, and for the last few days, he hasn’t been around too much. He says there’s a lot of club stuff going on and I don’t pry. He did tell me the reason Gamble laid into him while I was going through withdrawal was because she had two guys in the club watching Scar. Apparently, they have someone they know from Baltimore working with Scar and they’ve kept a close eye on them. Gamble wants to know what they’re doing working with each other. I can naturally assume it’s bad, but I don’t know shit.
Now I’m in Ravage’s room, or rather, our room. I’m leaning up on the bed, reading a book Riva gave me. It’s by Rae B. Lake and is called Jameson. I’ve been devouring it, and Riva wasn’t wrong when she told me it’s a great read, how it’s action-packed and has steamy sex scenes. While I can’t relate to Riva when it comes to having a baby, at least one common thing we can share is our love for reading. Scar
never let me read, but Ravage is only encouraging me to get back into it. He even got me a gift card to Amazon, so I can buy whatever I want.
The door opens to the bedroom and Ravage comes in. He takes off his cut and hangs it up behind the door, then peels off his shirt and starts to walk to the bathroom. As he walks, it’s like he’s doing it in slow motion. Every muscle on his upper half is tight as hell and glistens in the light. His dark eyes are focused and he’s on a mission, but he comes to a stop and looks right at me.
“You alright?”
“You’re fine,” I say, not even realizing what I’ve said until he lets out a chuckle. He proceeds to toss his shirt in the hamper and comes up to me. He bends down, grabs onto the back of my neck, and brings his lips to mine.
I practically inhale the man, loving the way his lips mold to mine. He’s perfect. Everything about him is perfect. Ravage pulls his lips from mine ever so slightly and smiles. “I know what you were doin’.”
I bite my bottom lip, not hiding it at all.
“And we’ve had this conversation,” he gently reminds me, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
He’s concerned we’ll go rushing into sex and it’ll set me back, whether it’s PTSD, flashbacks, anything. He wants me to get comfortable being with him before we take our relationship into more of a physical role. On top of it, I need to go to the doctor. I haven’t been to a gynecologist in ages. Riva got me set up with her doctor, so that’s where I set up my appointment, but it’s not for two weeks.
“I know you’re getting antsy, but we just gotta wait. You just need to wait on me a little bit longer,” Ravage murmurs, kissing my lips chastely. I lean into his kisses and whine as he pulls away.
I’ll wait as long as I need to for him, but I really pray these next two weeks fly by. The fact he’s being so patient with me and loving is . . . it’s just another reason I’ve always loved him so much.
Epilogue
Marisole
4 Years Later . . .
“Ravage,” I say my now husband’s name and narrow my eyes on the tile options our contractor left for us in our unfinished kitchen. It’s been a hell of a ride going with a stick-built construction, but at the end of the day, we’ll have exactly what we both want. We’re building it on the exact site Ravage walked with me when I started coming down from withdrawal. Geeze, how it’s been four years already, I have no idea.
“Yeah, baby?” he answers, walking right up to me. I’m looking at two options. One is a metallic subway style, while the other is a traditional white. We’re going with brushed nickel accents in here since I’m sticking to a sea green island color. I thought Ravage was going to kill me, but with the faux marble, it makes the kitchen pop with a beautiful brightness. Plus, it’s my favorite color. Okay, so it’s kind of a combination between cyan and sea green.
“Which one do you think we should pick? Angel wants a reply by tomorrow.” I hand Ravage the two options, and immediately he picks the metal, which is a bit shocking.
“I’m gonna be stuck in this house with you and a carbon copy, so give me as much manly shit as I can get.” Ravage chuckles, wrapping his arms around me to cradle the small bump that’s finally decided to pop out. We just hit the five-month mark and were told it’s a baby girl. I’m thrilled, more excited than I can ever say, but at the same time, I’m scared.
I never thought I’d be the motherly type, but here we are.
“Fine, fine,” I laugh, leaning my head back against his shoulder.
He smiles widely and kisses my forehead. “I can’t wait until we’re outta that small ass room and in here. I wanna cuddle you on that couch I picked out, watch movies with you, see our lil’ girl on the carpet with Petunia.”
“God, she’s going to love the baby.” Petunia is our six-year-old rescue from the Brandywine SPCA. She’s a blue and white pit bull and the sweetest thing. One thing that’s been a huge part of my recovery is going on long walks. She’s the perfect partner for me to have. Ravage calls it scary dog privileges, and I don’t think he’s wrong.
I know Scar is dead and he isn’t ever coming back, but it doesn’t mean he never had friends who would hunt us down and hurt us. Since I’ve been pregnant, my mind’s been plagued with memories from the past, worried if someone’s going to come out of the woodwork and haunt us. I truly hope not, but I do know I’m in the safest place I can be.
Petunia’s in her crate in our room in the house by the club, but she’s the perfect girl. Everyone at the clubhouse loves her too. When Ravage proposed to me, he had her bring me a box and drop it in my lap. I opened it up and found one hell of a sparkler. It was the sweetest, best way to be proposed to. Besides Ravage and my sister, Petunia is the thing I love the most in this world. She’s truly a member of our family.
She was in our wedding too, and when it gets too cold here in the winter, I have sweaters I put her in. Mugshot and Needles love to pull my leg for being that type of dog mom, but I couldn’t care less. At the end of the day, I know they’d be doing the same thing if Petunia was their pup.
“I can see it on your face. You’re worrying,” Ravage points out, walking in front of me.
“I wasn’t, but now I am.” We’ve had so many construction delays and I’m concerned we won’t be settled before the baby comes.
“We’re gonna be fine, and worst case, if she comes bustin’ out the gate early, then we’ll be in our room for a bit longer. It’ll be snug, but we’ll make it work. You trust me, don’t you?” Ravage loves to ask me this question. It’s a way he hides being worried too. Over the years, we’ve rediscovered each other and our quirks. For example, when I say I’m not hungry, it a hundred percent means I am, and if he doesn’t bring me food, I will withhold sex from him until he brings me something super scrumptious. I usually make him drive out to Georgetown. There’s this small bakery owned by two Hispanic women, but they make homemade empanadas. They’re delicious, the best I’ve ever had. Needless to say, when he’s in the doghouse really bad, he’ll make a drive down to get me what I want.
Figuring there’s no point in being too stressed, I simply nod and lean against him. If someone would’ve told me where he and I would’ve ended up, I would’ve laughed in their face and told them they were crazy. We had so much history and never in my wildest dreams did I think our lives would ever cross paths again, but I’m glad they did.
If push came to shove, I’d wait a million years for him because Ravage is the person I’m supposed to be with. While I’m scared to be a mother, I can’t wait for the moment he sees our little girl because he’ll be the best father in the entire world.
A lot of people say when you know, you know. We might’ve had to go through hell, but I’d do it all again to end up with him. He’s undoubtedly the love of my life.
THE END . . . FOR NOW.
Hello Readers,
I hope you enjoyed reading this book as much as I loved writing it. In the beginning, it was really hard to write it, given what Marisole endured during her time with Scar. Although, as the story progressed, it became more about her recovery, overcoming her demons, and solidifying a life with Ravage.
The next book in the Knights of Retribution MC will be Mugshot’s book, Bleed on Me. Keep an eye out for when it goes on pre-order. I already have the prologue written and it’s going to be very enthralling. Scar will finally be getting what he deserves and Mugshot will be helping Ravage deliver the blows, quite literally.
As always, thank you for being on this ride with me. I can’t wait to bring you Mugshot’s book. Per the title, things will be very dark.
XOXO,
Elizabeth
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Wait on Me (Knights of Retribution MC Book 2) Page 9