by Zoe Dawson
“I loved it. The characterizations of Duel and Amy are so good. The writing is lush and heart-wrenching. How many books do you have planned?” The enthusiasm in her voice also lit up her eyes.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I got this idea from my ma and those old journals. I know I want to tell the whole story, maybe even up to present day. Fictionalized, of course.”
“Well, do your best to get this one done and polished ASAP. I’ll edit it as soon as it’s finished.”
I stood there with the knowledge that this woman had been a part of my life. Some of the best part. My affection for her swelled to almost maternal proportions, and with a start I realized that I loved my soon-to-be mother-in-law.
All the conflicting things I was feeling were a tangled up mess, and the thought of disappointing her gave me the same kind of sick, squirmy feeling I got when I thought about disappointing my ma.
I grabbed her around the neck and hugged her to me, my voice thick. “Thank you, Lottie. I haven’t ever told you how much you’ve influenced my life. How much it means to me. I believed in my brothers and helped them because you believed in me so strongly. I…love you, Lottie.”
She wrapped her arms around me immediately, tightening her embrace. “Oh, Booker, I have never told you how thankful I am for what you did that day on Old Magnolia Road. If it wasn’t for your courage, my daughter…Aubree would have… You saved her twice.”
“Technically, I saved her the first time. You and your shotgun saved her the second. Saved us both.”
“You are being humble. You didn’t hesitate to throw your body over hers. I saw that, Booker, and I’ll never forget it. I love you, too. I am so happy to become a part of your family, and have you become a part of ours. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better man for Aubree. You’ll keep her on her toes…and promise me you’ll make sure she has fun.”
I nodded.
“We’ll gladly give her away to you without reservations.”
“I promise never to let her down, and fun is my middle name.”
“I know you won’t, because there is such a strong character there,” she tapped my chest, “and integrity in spades.”
I heard footsteps on the stairs and the wry voice of the sheriff. “I’ll give you a running start, Booker, while I go fetch my shotgun.”
Lottie’s laughter was light while we let go of each other, mildly embarrassed, and I stepped back and looked up at him.
He smiled. “You kept my wife up all night, and she hasn’t stopped talking about you and that book. I’m jealous. I still might get my shotgun.”
“Yes, sir. How much of a running start were you going to give me?”
#
Booker
My fingers were flying across the keyboard, and I was in the zone when I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Brax popped into view with Boone standing right behind him. Both of them had the Outlaw grin in plain sight.
“This can’t be good,” I said. “What do you two stooges have up your sleeves?”
“That makes you the third stooge.”
“I can’t help it, it’s in our genes.”
They both laughed. “Pack an overnight bag, huckleberry. This here is a kidnapping for your bachelor party.”
“Ah, are you kidding me? I’m not going to any strip joint.”
“Nope, there’s no strip joint. We have more class than that.”
I laughed and eyed them, but the grinning didn’t disappear.
I sighed, thinking this wasn’t such a good idea.
Hours later I wanted to punch Brax in the face, but his face was messed up enough. I leaned my head back against the concrete of the very secure jail cell. “So tell me, Moe and Larry. What is your plan now?”
I rolled my head to look at them.
“Bail. Getting out of jail card?” Boone suggested with a raised brow.
“Who should I call?”
“Please don’t call Verity,” Boone groaned.
“No way am I calling River Pearl. She’ll rip me a new one.”
“Well to be fair, Brax, you meant well.”
“Yeah, lot of good that did us. We got arrested for it, and that guy had a helluva right hook.”
“He was cheating. You had to speak up,” Boone said. “Please call Breebree. She’ll fix all my booboos and not yell at me.”
“Yeah, Aubree. Call her. She’s more reasonable.”
“Hey, you guys. Your phone call?” The cop came to the cell and I rose. “Yes, sir. Thank you.” I stepped out of the cell when he released the lock and opened it for me. I walked with him to the bank of phones and picked up the receiver. It was 3am, and I could only hope that Aubree was studying and she had left her phone on.
I dialed as the cop stood behind me. She picked up on the first ring. “Hey, Booker. What are you doing up so late?”
“Um…Aubree…I need you to…ah…come down to the New Orleans…” I pinched the bridge of my nose, a headache rising menacingly in the back of my head, “…jail.”
I could hear the stunned shock on the other end of the line in the silence that followed my request. “What? What did you just say?”
She was really making me repeat it. “Jail, babe. We’re in jail. Bring the checkbook.”
“Jail!” she shrieked. “What…never mind. I’ll be right there.”
“I ain’t going anywhere.” I hung up and looked at the stoic cop, who gave me a tight smile, as if to say that’s right, buddy.
Back in the cell, Brax and Boone looked even worse. There was blood on Boone’s shirt, Brax’s shirt was torn, and he had a bruise forming under his eye. I had a split lip and my nose felt swollen.
I sat down next to them, weary to the bone. “Thanks so much guys for a memorable bachelor party.”
“Booker, Braxton, and Boone Outlaw, you’re free to go.”
“Wow, that was fast,” Boone said. “What did Aubree do, fly here?”
We left the cell and headed out into the police station. A man was standing there waiting for us. “Hello guys, I’m Jeff, the manager at Harrah’s. Sorry for the mix-up, and for y’all getting caught up in this. Several of my dealers told me what happened and vouched for you guys. Something ugly could have happened if you hadn’t stepped in. All charges against you three have been dropped, and I thank you for doing the right thing. Your hotel stay is comped, and you are always welcome back to any of our hotel and casinos at half price.” He handed us each a card.
We all shook his hand and just before he left, Aubree bustled through the front door. Our eyes met, and the worry and tenderness I saw there hit me hard in the heart. I loved the way she trusted me. The way she knew this had to be some kind of misunderstanding. It was all in her face.
Brax nudged me. “She’s something, Book.”
“Yeahhh,” Boone said. “Our Breebree.”
She rushed over, hugging each of us, and while the story unfolded she sympathized and teased us relentlessly. Once we were back at our hotel, she tended to Brax first, because he had taken most of the beating from the man who wanted to swindle the casino with his slick con game.
I watched her as she gently cleaned his cuts, thoroughly checked his bruises and asked him questions about his head. Then repeated it all over again with Boone, because I insisted he go before me. And it hit me as hard as that baseball bat had to my head.
That girl so got to me.
Hours later, sober, bruised and battered, we left Aubree in New Orleans as we headed home. My thoughts were a jumbled mess all the way back to Suttontowne. Still besieged with my own emotions, the enormity of marriage and commitment, the uncertainty of the future, I was tearing myself up with this struggle about what I wanted, what I could handle, and what we needed separately and as a couple. Could we make it if she became a doctor? Was I willing to give her up to other people, share her with her ridiculous work ethic and work hours?
I needed perspective, needed insight, but all I could feel was confusion. Was it even conceivable that I cou
ld actually make the decision that this wouldn’t work for me? Was I that selfish? All these thoughts swirled while I half-listened to my brothers murmurs as I reclined in the back seat while I thought about how Aubree and I hurtled toward a collision course of what I wanted and what she wanted and what we could agree on.
Brax dropped Boone off, and I expected him to take me home, but instead he drove over to the wharf near Imogene’s. “Walk with me,” he said.
We bypassed the wood planking and jumped down to the water’s edge. He picked up some stones and started to skip them. The moon was high and shed quite a bit of light.
“I know what’s eating at you.”
“How the fuck do you know that?”
“I figured it out tonight.”
“Okay, enlighten me.” I was so irritated and skeptical. I, mean, this was Brax. I might have even punched him if he didn’t look so banged up.
“Get your fucking head out of your ass. Stop trying to be a goddamned knight to her. Be a guy who loves her. She doesn’t want you to be perfect, Booker. Talk to her. Get mad at her. Fight with her. Your love can handle that.”
I literally couldn’t talk. I felt like I had swallowed my tongue.
“River and I fight all the time. Well,” he shrugged, “mostly ’cause she’s contrary.” He skipped a stone, his voice full of his amusement. “But, she knows I’m hard to get along with, mostly a bastard. And you know something? That’s okay, because I’m just being little ol’ ornery me.”
I gaped at him and he reached out and closed my mouth with a flick of his wrist. My teeth clacked together.
He sighed. “Booker, love isn’t about the big picture. Sure, this wedding, the house you bought, the commitment—all big picture. You’re projecting and panicking about not having enough time with her because of this doctoring thing. But, man…” he squeezed my shoulder and his face got serious and I have never respected him more, “where love sits and lives is the little things like holding her hand if she’s afraid of needles, like covering her up when she’s sleeping, like putting your arms around her because she makes your heart thump when you look at her, and like when you open your eyes in the morning and the first thing you want to see are her eyes looking back at you. The kind of look that makes you feel…alive. It lives in the blood, sweat, and tears of every moment you give to her. Make them count. Because love is in the details and those details make you a beautiful big picture.”
“Geezus,” I said. “Are you channeling Boone?”
“Nope, he’s an amateur.”
“Brax…”
“No, Book. There isn’t anything else. Love is sacrifice and opportunities. River, she’s my present and my future. Is Aubree yours?”
He handed me my keys, and left me to ponder as I heard the sound of a car and saw River step out, waiting for him. When he climbed the hill, they kissed, he got into the car and drove off.
#
Aubree
I stood outside my o-chem classroom with my back against the wall. The test was finally over, and it had been my last exam. I was sure I had done well in my other classes, but I still had anxiety over whether or not I passed this class.
Dr. Palmer had been instrumental…in getting me over this hump. With resonance orbitals, reaction mechanisms, mass spectroscopy, and infrared spectroscopy still swirling in my brain, I walked to my car. I had packed up everything I would need for the wedding and honeymoon the night before. We would most likely be spending the summer in Suttontowne, and I was okay with that. I missed the bayou, my friends, my mom, my home town, and I missed Booker most of all.
I had faith in him, but I was still on edge. I felt the sharpness of it, an edge that had been building for months.
I chuckled at his and the trips’ botched attempt at a bachelor party. Those…Outlaws. What was I supposed to do with their shenanigans? Love them, I supposed, since I couldn’t do anything else.
The two-hour trip went by quickly, and I was pulling into our driveway before I knew it. Booker’s car wasn’t there, and I guessed he must be handling last-minute wedding stuff, so I got busy moving almost everything into the house, where I would spend the night before we left, but leaving my small overnight bag and wedding stuff in the car. I was going to be staying with River Pearl until our wedding night.
Part of the traditional fun was getting us all charged with anticipation by waiting to make love.
My cell rang and I saw it was Brax. “What’s up?”
“Are you here yet?”
“Yes, just pulled in.”
“Great. Can you come over to Outlaws? I have some last-minute menu questions, and I want you to approve the cake.”
“You’re done with the cake?”
“Sorta. This one is my last attempt. I think I have it right. But I want you to be completely happy with it.”
Tamping down my impatience to see Booker and talk to him—finally talk to him—I agreed and headed over to Outlaws. After the flurry of phone calls from River Pearl, Verity, my momma, and Evie for the last three weeks, plus our fun shopping day to get my veil, shoes, and lingerie, and our completely tame bachelorette party, not to mention my exhaustion over o-chem, sorority duties and volunteer job, I was running on fumes.
I just wanted to see Booker.
I waved to Rory, who was behind the bar, and saw the afternoon lunch crowd was just heating up. I pushed through the swinging doors and into the kitchen. Brax was at the counter plating up some orders, and he smiled at me as I came through the door.
I smiled back, but my frustration was about to boil over, and I just wanted to get this over with. It took him another ten minutes to handle his orders, then Martha took over with a quick hug for me.
“Okay, sorry about that. Been busy all day. It’s in the walk-in freezer.” I followed him and when he opened the door, I snapped. “The roses are supposed to be purple, Brax! Not lavender. If I had wanted lavender roses, I would have asked for them! Why are they all spread out? Wasn’t this supposed to be tiered?”
Brax froze and turned to look at me. I clamped my hand over my mouth and lost it. Tears flooded my eyes. “I’m so sorry, ohmigod…” I bolted from the freezer and headed right out the back door. I plopped down on the steps and buried my face against my knees. Sobbing.
I heard the door open and close and felt someone settle next to me.
“I am going to tell you what I told Booker.”
I took a shuddering breath and looked at him.
“Get your fucking head out of your ass.”
“What…?” I sputtered.
“Aubree. You do too damn much. Lighten your load. The world isn’t going to end and the whole damn foundation of the civilized world isn’t going to collapse. Make time for Booker. Plain and simple. He’s the most important person in your life, show him that he is. That’s so goddamned easy.”
My mouth fell open and he gently closed it with his index finger. Then he proceeded to blow my mind with this lecture about how love isn’t a big picture, but in the details. He just waded through my crap in hip boots and nailed it on the head.
“Don’t you know that Booker is afraid of not being your knight in shining armor? He’s a freaking Boy Scout, our moral compass, and the brains of this outfit. But sometimes he can be so damn stoo-pid and so can you, Ms. Summa Cum Ladeda. It’s bad enough that he avoids his feelings because of our childhood shit with our daddy. He has to work through that and I’m sure he will. This isn’t about goddamned roses, Aubree, or tiers. My brother’s been in love with you since the sixth grade. Now, come with me, dry your eyes and try some of my fucking delicious cake. I decided to go with a grouping instead of tiers, more interesting. But I took out all the calories just for you.”
When I just stared at him. He sighed, hauled me to my feet, took me back to the walk-in freezer, forked up a piece of cake, and shoved it in my mouth.
“It’s delicious,” I mumbled. “You are so right. About the cake and about Booker.”
“Don’t l
ook so shocked.”
“I’m sorry, Brax.” He wiped away my tears with his thumb. “I just want to see Booker.”
He shoved a plate in my hands. “Tell me it’s as if angels made it, and then go find him.”
I picked up the fork. There were four slices on the plate. “This one is the topper,” Brax said, pointing to the one on the left. “That’s almond cake with raspberry filling.”
I forked up a bite and tasted it. It hit my tongue like raspberry fire, the cake melted in the flame and it all blended into an exquisite taste. I closed my eyes and hummed. When I opened them, Brax was smiling.
“Ohmigod. What…? Raspberry liqueur.”
“Ha! I’m a redneck. Guess again.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Sure did.”
“Raspberry moonshine?”
He just chuckled and nodded. “This is devil’s food.”
I tasted that sample, and hummed again. “You put butterscotch chips in it. Scrumptious.”
“And, for this one, lemon cake.”
“Oh, God, the frosting, Brax….”
“Sprinkled with a sugary lemon syrup for added flavor. And the last one is white cake.”
“Just as delicious, simple and classic.”
“Are you happy?”
“Yes, you worked so hard.”
“I know how to handle it.” He leaned over and nudged me with his shoulder. “It’ll be our little secret.” He grabbed my chin with plain ol’ Outlaw mischief glinting in his eyes. “Now, can we go over these menu details, please, and afterward I’ll be a nice guy and tell you exactly where you can find that huckleberry you’re marryin’.”
“Thanks again, Brax. And I’m very sorry I blew up at you.” I kissed him full on the mouth, and his surprised grunt along with the wry look on his face was worth it.
Then he recovered, a grin spreading across his face, nudged me again, and said, “Wow, all I got from Booker was a dumb-shit look. But, we’ll keep this our little secret, too.”
After we handled all Brax’s questions, he told me Booker was over at Evie’s, hauling stuff out of her shed so she could renovate the structure. They were taking everything to a storage unit for the time being.