Seven Tears at High Tide

by C. B. Lee

  The new swim team trophy looks great in that display case. Kevin smiles at it fondly, as if he’s greeting an old friend, remem­bering the state championships last year. Patrick laughed at him and said Kevin cheated, because he joined the swim team when Patrick was promoted to team captain, and clearly it was Patrick’s leadership that guided them to victory. Maybe it was, or maybe it was Kevin’s backstroke. The jury’s still out on that one.

  Yeah, last year was a good year. Being involved in activities outside of class also meant his time was quickly filled with staying late after school for newspaper deadlines, cracking jokes in the pool with the other swimmers and late night team dinners after swim meets, and somehow Kevin went from being a loner to having friends. He got great SAT scores and already had a lot of ideas for his college applications.

  He’d even dated a little, with the encouragement of his friends. Kevin took Jennifer, the opinions editor from the Gazette, out to the movies once, and he was definitely attracted to her, but couldn’t seem to get into the headspace of dating again.

  “I’m sorry, I really like you, I’m just—”

  “Still in love with your ex?” Jennifer asked.

  “Yeah.” It didn’t hurt anymore, but he wasn’t quite ready to date again.

  Jennifer had laughed good-naturedly and appreciated his hon­esty, and they went to Homecoming as friends.

  Kevin waves at Michelle and Connor, not that they’ll notice him, the way they’re making out by Connor’s locker. Kevin shakes his head in fond mock-annoyance as he walks by his friends. Whistling, he finds his locker. Who would have thought: Senior year is here and Kevin has nothing but confidence. It’s going to be a good year.

  Someone taps him on the shoulder and Kevin turns around. Miles is standing behind him, looking a little nervous and sheep­ish. “Hey, Kevin,” he says awkwardly, shifting on his feet. Miles runs his hand through his hair, the way Kevin used to think was so hot, but it looks pointlessly pretentious now.

  “Miles,” Kevin says, deadpan. For all that they’re neighbors, they haven’t spoken to each other since, well. Kevin doesn’t really care anymore. Hasn’t cared for a long time, and doesn’t ever want to be used like that again.

  “So I was thinking, you know, since Patrick graduated and I hear you’re gonna be the new swim captain, which I think is cool and major congrats by the way, it’s just a shame we fell out of touch, y’know. We used to be such good friends—”

  “No.” Kevin finds the textbook he needs for first period, shuts the locker with a definite slam, walks right past Miles and doesn’t look back.

  A few kids from drama whistle, and one of them says, “Sick burn, dude,” offering his fist for Kevin to bump. Kevin taps it with a small smile and keeps going down the hallway.

  A girl walks past him with a purse patterned with seals, and Kevin blinks. He thinks about the seal he saw this morning; memories flicker through his mind. It’s been over a year, and he’s proud of himself for not having tried to find the selkies’ hidden beach again this summer. Kevin spent all of this summer as a junior lifeguard under Sally’s mentorship, working every day at the beach. It was fun; he got a bit tanner, and worked hard to maintain the fitness he needed in order to be a lifeguard. He still misses Morgan, but he isn’t sad when he thinks about him anymore; the first few weeks after Morgan left even the mention of the sea had caused Kevin anguish.

  Today he smiles, remembering Morgan’s bright laugh.

  Kevin shakes himself; the memory is so clear it’s almost as if he’s hearing it.

  “Hello, Kevin,” a familiar voice sounds behind him.

  Kevin whirls around so fast he nearly falls over, and he can hardly believe it. Morgan is standing there, grinning widely, face shining like the sun. He’s actually wearing clothes—T-shirt, jeans, shoes and Kevin’s sweatshirt.

  “Morgan.” Kevin gasps, voice barely a whisper, as though he’s afraid to break the illusion. “How…?”

  Morgan shrugs. “The Sea is ancient and deep, full of secrets. Besides, selkies can cry, too, you know.”

  “Morgan,” Kevin says, still awed. “You’re really here. To stay?”

  Morgan just says, “I love you,” as if it’s the simplest thing in the world to him, and it is.

  Kevin stares for what seems like an eternity, as if he’s daring himself to wake up and realize this is a dream.

  It’s real.

  Morgan is standing here in front of him, and students mill about in the hallway on their way to class, talking and laughing, but everything seems to be muted except for Morgan’s smile.

  The smile falters, and Kevin realizes he’s been staring, and he needs to will his body to start working again, his mind to think, respond—

  “I love you.” The words are easy, like a song he knows by heart.

  Morgan steps forward, and Kevin can’t help but sweep him into his arms and kiss him; his body is overflowing with warmth and happiness as Morgan kisses back with equal enthusiasm.

  Kevin would keep kissing Morgan forever, but the warning bell is ringing, and there are a few wolf whistles from behind them. Kevin lets Morgan go reluctantly. He can’t help the ridic­ulous smile he knows is on his face. He pulls Morgan into the nearest classroom and checks to make sure it’s empty, and yes, this is the chemistry lab; no one will use this until second period. As soon as the door is closed, he reaches for Morgan again, taking the time to reverently cup his face in his hands. Morgan sighs in appreciation and kisses him slowly, as if he’s breathing him in, and Kevin follows his lead, holding him close as if he’s been adrift at sea forever and now he’s finally found his anchor.

  It’s forever, and still not enough, by the time the bell rings again. Kevin pulls away reluctantly, still dazed, and Morgan looks overwhelmed as well. He’s just as lovely as Kevin remembers him; his skin is flushed from the slight exertion and his lips are kiss-swollen. Kevin wants to kiss him again, hear him make that noise again.

  “I thought you might have—you might have forgotten me,” Morgan says breathlessly.

  “Never.”

  The bell stops ringing. Kevin’s really late now, but he doesn’t care.

  “We should get to class,” Morgan murmurs, even as he takes Kevin’s hand and interlaces their fingers.

  “We?”

  Morgan grins at him, eyes bright with mischief. He swings his backpack around—an actual backpack that he’s digging in with his other hand, pulling out a sheet of paper to show to Kevin. “My class schedule.”

  “Really?”

  “Where’s yours? I want to see if we’ve got anything in common.”

  Kevin pulls the sheet out of a notebook in his own backpack, amazed as Morgan hums to himself, comparing the two schedules. Morgan’s a little taller, and his speech pattern seems a more relaxed, but he’s still the same, adorable freckles and all. And is that the tune of “Somewhere Beyond The Sea” he’s humming? Morgan looks up and sees Kevin staring at him, and he winks—actually winks at him. When did this boy get so cheeky?

  “Mmhm, looks like we’ve got four classes together. Is there any way I could change my last class to yours?” Kevin sees Morgan pointing at where his own schedule says “GYM” and Kevin’s says “SWIM TEAM.”

  “Yeah, you could. You’d have to try out, though,” Kevin says. He pinches himself to make sure this isn’t all a dream, and the pinch stings, so he’s definitely awake.

  Morgan scrunches up his face. “You think I’d be any good?”.

  Kevin stares at him before Morgan bursts out laughing, and Kevin has to kiss him again to make sure he’s real.

  “You gonna tell me how this all works, you being here? And you’re… staying?” Kevin asks as they step into the empty hallway. Part of him is worried there’s another catch to this, as though Morgan will stay only for the fall quarter, but Morgan smiles at him again as if he knows exactl
y what he’s thinking.

  “Yes, I’m staying. And I can tell you all about it, you know, after class. I gotta keep my grades up. College applications and all that.”

  He looks knowingly at Kevin, and Kevin blinks a little in surprise, the weight of it settling in. Morgan is staying. He’s going to be here for Kevin’s senior year—he’s applying to colleges. There’s an unwritten future stretched out in Kevin’s imagination, and where he’s always pictured himself alone before, now he can see Morgan there with him.

  The classroom is rowdy, full of students eagerly catching up on each other’s summers. Luckily Ms. Tran hasn’t arrived yet to mark anyone tardy. Kevin is still thinking about it as he plops down in an empty seat. Morgan takes the seat in front of him, looking incredibly at home at a classroom desk. Wearing sneakers, of all things. Even their laces are tied properly in neat little bows.

  Morgan’s eyes are sparkling when he turns around. “Hi.”

  “Hello.”

  Morgan kisses him again, and Kevin forgets he’s in the middle of a classroom filled with his peers—some of whom make whooping noises.

  He only comes back to reality when he hears a sharp rapping on a desk and sees Ms. Tran looking disapprovingly at them. She glares at everyone in the classroom, trying to get them to calm down. “Mr. Luong! And… you, new student. No public displays of affection, please.”

  Kevin grins sheepishly. “Sorry, my boyfriend moved back to town, and I’m just really excited.”

  Morgan shrugs, turns around to look back up at their teacher with an innocent face.

  He does slip his hand back under Kevin’s desk, though, and Kevin takes it and squeezes. He’s still curious, and can’t wrap his head around what kind of magic would let Morgan come back. While Ms. Tran is busy passing out syllabi, Kevin leans forward and whispers, “How?”

  Morgan turns around to look at him, whispering in turn, “We have all the time in the world, to talk, to do anything we want.” He squeezes Kevin’s hand, and Kevin relaxes a little.

  Yeah, they do.

  The End

  Acknowledgments

  There are scores of people I would love to thank, and if I had the luxury to do so I would love to fill another book with the names of everyone who’s ever believed in me.

  For my parents, the hard lives you have had, surviving war and famine and constant fear, your endeavors for freedom and a better life for your children—every day I wake up thinking about how lucky I am and how grateful and proud I am of your achievements. I thank you for your unconditional love and support, and I am always in your debt.

  I am humbled always by the many struggles of LGBTQIA+ activists; it is a long, enduring history and a constant uphill climb for the rights and freedoms we enjoy today, and I hope future generations continue this tradition.

  To the amazing team at Duet Books and Interlude Press, thank you for taking a chance on my story. Annie, Candy and Lex—your passion is an inspiration, and your constant support during this process has been absolutely wonderful. This book would not be here without you.

  Thank you to Arnab, Becky and Noemie for reading the first draft; your insights and suggestions made the story all the better. Thank you Tiffany, Jeremiah and Leonard for your brilliant work in helping create an amazing trailer for this novel. Jennifer, Kate and Charm—your steadfast friendship means the world to me and I will always be grateful for your energy and positivity, for being there for me and fielding so many strange questions at many an odd hour. Mai, Laura, Cal, Kelly Ann and Stacey, you inspire me and keep me striving to be better. And of course, endless thanks to Niamh, for inspiring me to write again.

  Freck, Michelle, Em, Maggie, Mel, Tay, Dani, Beth, Rachel—amazing writers, and even more amazing friends—our little sprinter’s circle has grown from just a writer’s resource to a source of steady friendship. Thank you so much for the countless moments of laughter and joy, the support and the love; I would not be the person I am today without you.

  Last, but never least, for everyone who started this journey with me, those who read my early works and encouraged me, you will always be my anchor.

  About the Author

  C.B. Lee is a bisexual writer, rock climber and pinniped enthusiast based in California. She is a first-generation Asian American and has a BA in sociology and environmental science, which occasionally comes in handy in her chosen career, but not usually. Lee enjoys reading, hiking and other outdoor pursuits. Seven Tears At High Tide is a first novel.

  You can connect to C.B. at cb-lee.com and on Twitter at @author_cblee.

  Questions for Discussion

  How does Kevin’s relationship with Miles affect his feel­ings for Morgan? How would their relationship have progressed differently without that in Kevin’s past?

  How does being a halfling change the way Morgan thinks about humans? About himself?

  How does Kevin’s family and his background help him under­stand what it was like to be a halfling?

  How would Morgan have behaved differently on his mission if he had known from the beginning about the choice he would have to make on his birthday? Would he have allowed himself to become so attached to Kevin if he had thought he’d never see him again after that summer?

  How is love different between selkies and humans? Which way is better, in your opinion?

  Nathaniel (Nate) appears throughout the story. What do you think were the ethics violations that caused him to lose his funding? How did his character reveal itself as the story went on?

  Living without his father wasn’t as traumatic for Morgan as it often is for human kids. What about selkie culture makes that possible?

  Why was Floyd so willing to believe Morgan was his son, despite never having seen him before?

  The idea of humans controlling selkies by hiding their pelts so they can’t transform keeps coming back, over and over, in the story. Despite being hurt by that behavior so much in her own life, Linneth eventually tells Kevin to do it to Morgan. Why did she ask that of him? How might the story have been different if Kevin had taken her advice?

  In Chapter 17, Kevin wishes for Morgan to return. Do you think that had an impact on the story? Why or why not?

  What was Linneth’s role in the boys getting their happily ever after?—AC Holloway