by Nicole Thorn
I took his face in my hands and forced my lips onto his. Within a moment, I dissolved. My hands went to his shoulders, and I parted my mouth just enough to capture his upper lip between mine. Rain fell, and I was freezing, but I didn’t care. The world went silent.
Wilson pulled away from me, and his eyes darted from mine to my lips while I panted. There was no exertion in the kiss, but I was breathless anyway.
Wilson took me by the hips and pinned me to the wall, crushing himself against me. His mouth came back to mine, and he plied my lips apart. Then he was in my mouth, and I was lifted up and against the wall. He held me up by my bottom, bringing my legs around him while I grabbed him by the hair. He was being so deliciously harsh with me, and I only wanted it rougher.
The sensation of his tongue gliding along mine was only matched by the pressure he was putting between my legs. My hold on him tightened as I silently urged him to give me more. I whimpered in desperation when I didn’t get what I wanted, and the fit proved to be fruitful. I was slammed into the wall again, and the pain of it was more pleasure than I’d ever known.
I’d never felt disappointment like when I was put back on my feet. I was still pinned to the wall, but my hands were back on Wilson’s shoulders, and his were on my hips while his forehead touched mine. We had to catch our breath for a couple minutes.
The cold rain lessened the heat on my skin, and I was almost angry at it. This was… life. A pulse. My heart raced, and I could feel the heat of my blood as it pumped to every part my body.
“Are you okay?” Wilson whispered to me.
“Yes.” When our heads weren’t together anymore, I looked at him with desperation. “That felt so good.”
Wilson wasn’t happy about that. His palm rested against my face, and he kissed the other side. “That can’t happen again.”
That pain wasn’t pleasurable at all. “Why not?”
He sighed, putting too much room between us. “Because I don’t want to take advantage of you. I know you don’t think that I am, but it’s only because you don’t know better.”
I wasn’t given the chance to respond before he started walking back down the driveway. I didn’t bother stopping him.
Mom was on the couch when I walked inside, and I heard the boys upstairs. She asked how my night was, and I gave a lazy lie, saying it was fun. With yet another half-truth about how sleepy I was, I escaped to my bedroom.
I think it was almost midnight, and I still couldn’t sleep. I flipped onto my back, and I thought about Wilson, as I had been for the past five hours. My fingers found my lips as the feeling came back to me as best as my brain could remember. God, it was perfect. He tasted just like I thought he would. All warmth and verve.
When I sat up, I looked at the clock like it did something wrong. I wasn’t going to sleep tonight. Not here in this bed. Not in this house. Not alone.
A thought came to mind, and I was warned with pictures of the last time I was in that situation. When I fell asleep with Wilson. I panicked when I woke up. I hadn’t known I was with him. If I knew now… maybe I could be okay. I would be prepared.
The question was: would he want me in his bed? He wasn’t upset with me, but I think he was upset with the situation. He liked kissing me. I felt how much he liked kissing me. Would he really oppose me being in his bed?
I threw the covers off, having decided to find out the hard way. I was in nothing but a nightie, and I hoped that would be fine.
The house was pitch black, and my parents’ door was closed. They would kill me if they found out I was doing this, so I would just have to make sure that they didn’t find out. All of my things were still here, so they would at least know I didn’t run away.
Once I was outside, the chill in the air was biting while I tiptoed to Wilson’s house. It was late, but I figured he might be up. I rang the bell and waited.
It was only seconds before the door opened, but it wasn’t Wilson. It was a man who was much taller. He looked like an older, gruffer version of the boy.
“Hello?” He smiled with amusement. “Let me save you some time, I already subscribe to a religion.”
I smiled back and picked at my nails. “I’m sorry, sir. I was expecting Wilson to answer. Did I wake you?”
Silly question. He was fully dressed.
He shook his head. “Nope. I was just about to leave.” He looked me up and down, taking in my outfit. “And what might you have been doing, hon?”
I bit my lip. “Um… I was hoping for Wilson.”
“You said that already. He’s sleeping.”
I felt my ears drop. “Oh. Well, I guess I’ll head back then. Sorry to bother you.”
He held a hand out. “Hold on now.” When I did, he said, “You’re that Riley girl. The one who…”
I nodded. “Yes.”
He took a deep breath in and let it out, scratching the back of his head. “I see. You’re the talk of the town, young lady. A hero, they say. Do you see it that way?”
I shook my head. “I don’t see how I can.”
“I think you’ve got my boy all wrapped up in you.” The corner of his lips turned up. “Kinda nice to see. If you want, I can let you head up and see if he’s awake.”
“Really?” I smiled.
“Sure. I’ve gotta go to work anyway.” He took a step out of the house and watched me as I walked in. “Careful with my kid. He’s already had a woman love him and leave him once. I don’t know if he can take two in his lifetime.”
I nodded once more. “I understand, sir.” And I headed up.
I navigated to his bedroom and found the door closed. After I tapped on it, I waited about a minute. No answer, so I invited myself in. I might as well do it.
Wilson was in his bed fast asleep. He was in nothing but pajama pants, and it was quite a sight to behold. The door closed behind me, and I walked farther into the bedroom, eyeing the spot on the bed that looked up for grabs.
He was off to the side, like he was saving the spot just for me. What he would think when we woke up in the morning, I could only imagine. I hoped it would be good. That he would be at least a little pleased. Somehow, I doubted it.
I slipped under the covers with him, snuggling right up to his chest. I faced him, and my head tucked right under his chin. His hand went right to my hip, and his body relaxed. It took strength not to shake him awake so I could pin him to the bed and show him how much I liked that. But I did no such thing. I just put my hand on his chest and let myself fall right asleep.
Wilson
he’s panting under me, saying my name like I’d never heard it before. Each time she spoke it, it would knock me right over. As my lips touch her belly, I allow my eyes to flicker up to see hers. Closed. Damn. Her back arches up when my tongue touches the apex of her pelvis. So soft. I tease her for only a few minutes before I need to see her eyes.
With a swift motion, I’m over her, and her eyes open for me. It’s only because she wants to know why I stopped. I don’t give her a chance to worry. I end that by fusing my lips to hers harshly. She reacts so much more when I’m rough with her.
She’s bare under me as I am over her. She guides my hand down her body, nestling it between her legs. She makes a sound when I take over, pressing my palm hard against her skin. Her nails nearly break the skin on my back, but I don’t notice pain. Just her.
“Please hurry,” she whispers to me…
The dream felt different, but my eyes refused to open. They were mourning the loss of the fantasy by continuing the feelings and sounds. It was different now, but in a better way. Was I awake? I couldn’t tell. Her back was to my front, and there was damn fabric between us. I could work with that.
I yanked the fabric over her shoulder with my teeth, allowing my hand to remain on her belly. I put my mouth over her skin, taking in the little sounds of approval she was giving me. God, that noise could send me straight to heaven or hell.
Riley backed up into me as my hand slipped down. My lips found her
pulse when my fingers slid between her legs. That sound she made was raw. Animal and pure greed. I was more than happy to give her all of me.
I pressed against her hard, from all directions I could. She moved onto her back, and my eyes were beginning to peel open in my dreamlike state. Riley’s thighs tightened on my hand, and my fingers moved lower.
It wasn’t until the tip of my finger was inside of her that I realized something was off. Why were we dressed now when we weren’t a minute ago? And when did we get from her bed to mine?
“Holy fucking shit!” I sat bolt upright, ripping my hand away from the very real Riley who I was just almost inside.
Her eyes ripped open too, and she looked around with confusion. She gazed down, and rubbed her legs together, probably feeling some moisture that shouldn’t have been there.
I snapped at her when I shouldn’t have. “What are you doing here?”
She stammered. “I… I couldn’t sleep. Your dad let me in.”
I filed that away for later, blinking a few times. “God, I am so sorry, Riley. I didn’t know I was doing that to you.”
Everything about her was disheveled in the most appealing way. Her hair was in all different directions, the little nightie she was in was wrinkled and hanging off of her shoulder. Skirt pushed up to the top of her thighs…
She blushed in the dark. “Well, I didn’t know you were doing it either. I thought I was asleep.”
I studied her. There was no tension in her body, no concern in her eyes. She was sitting up on her elbows, casual as can be.
“You’re awfully calm considering what was happing a couple minutes ago.”
She rubbed her eyes with her palms. “How about you give me a second? I was sleeping a few seconds ago.”
“And I was violating you a few seconds ago.”
She shrugged. Shrugged. “Is it still violating if I was enjoying it?”
I sighed. Deeply. “Please don’t say stuff like that. Don’t say you liked it. It doesn’t make it any less wrong.”
Again, she killed me with a shrug. “Would you rather I ran out of the room sobbing and let myself be traumatized?”
“Well… no. But you didn’t have to like it.”
She looked at me like I was a moron and threw her hands in the air. She collapsed back to the bed, again she rubbed her thighs together, blushing to herself. When she looked at me, I could see her nervousness like it was a living thing.
“Did you not like it?”
Damn. Gently, I moved to my side and put my hand on her stomach. It was impossible to not take in her nightie. All soft and thin. “That’s not what matters here.”
“I think it matters.”
My lips press together as I chose the wall as what I could handle looking at. “I didn’t know it was real. I thought I was dreaming.”
“About me?”
The hope in her voice was the kindest stab to my heart I’d ever gotten.
I nodded as I looked back to her. “About you.”
She smiled like I gave her the world. I would have loved to believe it could have something to do with me. But the feeling that I was just something in her life to give her a jump-start was horrid. She wouldn’t knowingly use me like that. She was too kind. That didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen. It also didn’t mean that a time would come along where I wouldn’t give in. I could just hope it wouldn’t.
“And you liked when you kissed me?” she asked, really pushing it.
I was made of sighs tonight. “Yes. I think you know I did. It doesn’t change anything. I’m your friend, and that’s all. Now, how about you tell me why you’re in my bed?”
Her nose twitched. “I told you I couldn’t sleep.”
“So you just ran over here?”
She nodded and wiggled under my hand. “I thought I would sleep better if I was next to you.”
My brain whispered things to me that I thought I should ignore. She’d picked me out of everyone else. She didn’t seek out her parents, and she didn’t call her sisters. It was my bed that she crawled into.
Riley sat up, moving my hand from her. I wasn’t sure what she was doing until she moved me so my back was against the backboard. I full-on stopped breathing when she straddled me. She held my face and started kissing me. Slowly, and with purpose.
I didn’t stop her. I couldn’t. Not when she was forcing my focus on her. Not when she had me wrapped around her finger. I loved that she was holding me. As if she believed I would wander off if she didn’t force me to be here. To quell that fear she may have, I took her by the hips and held her tightly. I groaned against her when she rubbed herself on my lap.
She gasped and pulled back. “Did I hurt you?”
She sounded kinder than Snow White herself.
I smiled. “No. That wasn’t what happened.”
“Oh…”
She glanced down at where she was sitting, and I literally watched her as she started putting pieces together. It was as sweet as it was fascinating. She glanced up at me through her eyelashes as she moved in the same way she did before. I had more control of myself this time, but I still reacted enough to get her attention.
When she came back at me, she knocked me to my back, and she was on her knees. I don’t know how she did it or how she knew to do it, but she managed to keep her pelvis grinding against mine while pressing our chests together. I still held her hips, my hands moving up and down to her waist and back, as slowly as I could manage.
I lost all control when she bit my lip. With roughness I shouldn’t have had, I forced her onto her back. Our lips broke apart, and I didn’t give her even a little warning before I threw myself forward and into her. The moan I was rewarded with was… polarizing. I knew that everything about this was wrong, yet I couldn’t stop myself from doing it over and over again. Until nails were digging into my bare shoulders.
She was close, and I had two choices. I would be a bastard either way, but I needed to make a decision. I could let her come. I could give her a little bit of pleasure in this miserable life of hers. Or, I could stop now. This would be the very last time I touched her, and I had to be okay with that. If I went on, then it would set a precedent that she could have me whenever her heart desired. Not that I didn’t want to let her. God, I did. But this wasn’t what she needed right now. Why did I have to gain morals right in this moment? Life was easier when I took what I wanted. And I wanted her. I wanted to know what it sounded like when she toppled over the edge.
The choice was already made, and I rolled off of her. She was panting, and I checked to see how angry she was. Not at all, and I couldn’t see why. She was just… happy.
When she caught her breath, she looked at me with a flush in her cheeks. “That felt really nice.”
I smiled, but it felt so forced. “Yeah, it did.” With another turn to her, I put my hand on her side. “Riley, I’m sorry.”
I didn’t see it, but I felt her fingertips on my arm. “What are you sorry about?”
“Everything. I don’t want you to think that this is something that it isn’t. I can’t be what you need.”
She was better at hiding her emotions than I thought she would be. Her face was blank when she spoke again. “What is it that you think I need? And what makes you think you don’t fit?”
“I’m not… good, Riley. I do bad things. You’ve had enough bad people in your life. You don’t need another. You need someone soft and kind and someone who can fix all those little splinters in your heart. I don’t know how to do that.”
She blinked as she considered me. “So, you’re making this choice for me?”
“I am.”
With a sigh, she wiggled again. “I guess I can’t change your mind about this.”
“You can’t. You need someone that’s good enough for you. Someone who can take care of you in all the ways you need to be taken care of.”
Her eyes were so sad, and I had to live with the fact that I put that look on her face. I made her sad. All because I
was rejecting her.
“Does that mean no more kissing?” she asked, somehow still hopeful.
I smiled just a touch. “No more kissing. But you can sneak into my room any time you want to.”
“But I like the kissing.”
Kill me. “I do too, baby. But we can’t do it.”
Her little hands found my chest, and she changed her tone to something more tempting. “You said you do bad things to pretty girls like me. Don’t you wanna do some of them now?”
All of them. Everything I’ve ever experienced and more because everything with her was more. My stupid brain didn’t shut my mouth up in time. I started playing a dangerous game that I had no right to play.
“Riley, I would literally love nothing more than to bury myself in you and never leave.”
Her eyes widened at that. “But you won’t.”
I shook my head. “I won’t. I think you’ll be grateful for it one day.”
She looked down at herself and did that leg wiggle thing again.
“Sorry about that.”
Riley had this ability to look utterly lost while seeming as confident as a person could be. “Just a little… odd. It’s never happened to me before.”
I smiled, this time with less force. “Well, um, you’ll get used to it. Eventually.”
She relaxed against the bed again. “Do you want me to go home?”
No. My body responded to this new fear by lying down and putting my arm around her, pulling her against me. “Please stay. I don’t want you to go.”
My mind was being evil. Pushing thoughts forward, false and real memories. My dream and what followed. I heard the sounds she made. Sounds that I got out of her. It would take so little to move my hand again, to dip it a little further down and ease the ache between her legs.
She was what stopped me.
Her hand laid over mine, lacing our fingers together and pulling my arm tighter around her. “I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me.”
ell… I knew what that was I was pushing against. I wasn’t sure if it was my fault for said pushing, or if it just happened. That was never really explained to me. But since I was just a little too into it, I didn’t move away. I turned around.