by Nicole Thorn
I pulled her legs apart and held her thigh down. The other was almost propped up and against my cheek. Bliss, this was. Defying everything I knew to be true, it only got better when I heard the sounds of pleasure from Riley after I started. Like everything I did was exactly what she wanted.
I felt her arch up to meet me as her leg moved over my shoulder and her fingers crept under the blanket. She had my hair in a moment, and she ran those long fingers through it, lightly grazing me with her nails. I could kick myself for not doing this weeks ago. How could I deny us both such happiness?
Riley finished quickly, gifting me with the sound she made when she did so. It was so soft and so beautiful. But it was over too quickly. I needed it to happen again, so I didn’t stop. I knew what would quickly get me what I wanted, but I was careful not to overwhelm her. Very slowly, I slipped a finger into her.
Her reaction was immediate and louder than before. With a gasp and the tightening of her fingers, she called out my name. I’d never heard it quite like that, but I could have spent the rest of my life hearing her voice call to me. I pumped my finger in time with the movements of my tongue and the little sway of Riley’s hips until, once again, she stumbled into her own personal rapture.
I joined her up above the blanket while she caught her breath. My arms kept me above her so I could watch her smiling at me. Without warning, she pulled my face down and joined our lips. I wasn’t sure if I was surprised, but that vanished a few seconds in. Of course she wouldn’t have a problem kissing me right now. She wouldn’t even think about it.
She tugged my shirt off of me, and I felt no guilt in allowing her to do so. Not right now. I couldn’t be anything but happy. Her hands touched every inch of my torso, enjoying me like I was enjoying her.
It wasn’t until her hands dropped to my zipper that I hesitated.
She eyed me when I stopped kissing her. “Don’t,” she warned me. “Don’t tell me that this was just for me or that I shouldn’t be doing this. I want to, so will you please let me?”
I did.
Riley undid the button and zipper quickly, tugging my pants down enough to get her hand around me. The angle wasn’t ideal, but you wouldn’t know it by how eager Riley was. She kissed me again, trying to end me with the assault on my senses. Her tongue in my mouth and her hand around my dick. If today was to be the very last, I would go out knowing what real happiness felt like.
Between kisses, Riley talked to me. It started as sweet little admirations, but that didn’t last. Her mouth hovered around mine. “Do you want to know what I was thinking about the very second it happened for me?”
My voice was husky and rough, but I think she liked it if her smile meant anything. “When you were alone?”
She nodded, biting her lip.
I nodded back.
Somehow, this perfectly innocent girl knew how to undo me. More than that, she knew what she was supposed to do to excite someone. She knew how to be sexy and fun and bright.
“I was thinking about you finally being inside of me.”
It took no time at all, and Riley might be the only girl on the planet not to notice that. I tried to hold back my groan so I wouldn’t scare her, since she hadn’t done this before. While I was worrying about that, I forgot about something else…
She squeaked in adorable shock when I came. At the sound I made or the other thing, I don’t really know. She let go of me and moved back carefully, as to not make a mess of my bed.
“Well.” She giggled down at her body.
My Riley was back. All big eyes and curious looks and innocence. How could she just turn it on and off like that?
“Um…”
I was more than mortified. “I am so, so sorry, Riley. I didn’t mean to… I mean, I shouldn’t have—”
She smiled and looked at me like I was a dummy. “It’s okay, sweetie. I knew what was going to happen.”
I eyed her. “Did you?”
She nodded. “Believe it or not. Can you…”
I nodded and got off of the bed, fixing my pants as I rushed to the bathroom. I grabbed a towel and ran it under the sink before I walked back to Riley. God, I felt like I was a teenager after a wet dream. I literally wanted to hide under a rock. Yet, Riley had no judgment at all in her eyes as I cleaned her up. I think she just found the whole thing fascinating.
When I fixed what I did, she kissed me quickly. “See? Not a big deal at all.”
I sighed, relaxing next to her. “I guess not.”
When she got a little squirmy, I noticed that she was trying to cover up with the blanket. To ease her a little, I handed her the pair of panties she’d abandoned, along with my shirt. She slipped them on and seemed to feel a lot better.
She went back to lying on my chest, her eyes closing as she held my side. I didn’t move until her breathing steadied and she slumped against me. We had a few things to talk about, but I suppose they could wait until the morning.
was happily tucked against Wilson when I woke up. He was wrapped around me and smiling in his sleep. Such peace on his face. I decided to take a little credit for that one. There was the oddest mix of contentment and worry in his face when he let me do what I did. The worry at least faded… then came back when the thing happened. I really didn’t mind it. Not that I liked it or anything, but it didn’t upset me. Not like it seemed to upset him.
Wilson began waking up, and he almost squished me when he started rolling. Thankfully, he was awake before that. His eyes peeled open, and I smiled up at him with everything I had in me.
He grinned back at me. With a sleepy voice, he leaned in to kiss me. “Good morning, baby.”
“Morning.”
We sat up, and I ran my fingers though my hair, trying to make it look a little less crazy than I knew it did. I was in the middle of a yawn when I caught Wilson staring at me with an adorably dopey look.
“Something wrong?” I asked.
Smiling again, he put his hand on my stomach to lean in for another kiss. On my cheek this time.
“I’m sorry I lied to you before. And I’m sorry I tried to make your choices for you. You’ve had enough of that in your life.”
I took his arm and put it over my shoulders so I could snuggle up to him as close as possible. He clearly needed it.
“You had good intentions. Even if you were a dummy.”
He laughed at that.
“But it’s okay now. Because that’s over. Right?”
Then I was nervous again while I waited for a response. Surely, he wouldn’t still be fighting this. Not when it made us both happy. I needed to get my life started, and I wanted him to be at my side while I did it.
“Right,” he said, silencing all my fears with one word. “If you’ll have me, then I’m yours.”
Hmm.
I crawled up to his lap, getting my arms around his neck. Wilson looked happy, so I didn’t think he’d shove me away or anything.
“I would love to have you.” I used my voice from last night. The one that made him all glassy-eyed.
Wilson made a rumbly sound when one of my hands drifted down his smooth chest. “Would you?”
I bit the corner of my lip and nodded. I left a kiss on his neck, moving down and making a slow go of it. I made sure that my lips only barely brushed him, teasing almost. He seemed to like that. He lay flat, holding onto me so I wouldn’t get jostled. My eyes flickered up, watching his close. I smiled against his skin before I touched him with the tip of my tongue. He reacted well.
I dragged my lips down to his happy trail and left a few more solid kisses on him before I laid my chest up on his and waited for him to open his eyes.
He sighed. “I think it might kill me to be away from you today.”
I felt my ears drop. “Work?”
“Work,” he confirmed.
Since he was so sad, I nibbled on his ear in between sentences. “Maybe I can go with you. I can keep you company.”
Wilson was about to talk when I wiggled on t
op of him. After a clearing of his throat and a quick move so he could look at me, he recovered. His hands were tight on my hips so I couldn’t distract him again. “It would be really boring. Do you mind?”
“Nope,” I said honestly. “I can just sit there and watch you get all dirty while fixing cars.” I paused to look down at the bed. “Hmm. Didn’t know until I said those words that you would actually look very attractive all dirtied up…”
Wilson laughed at me. “Well, thank you, I guess.”
His eyes went to the rest of me, seeming to just then remember that I was pretty much only wearing his shirt.
“I hate to say goodbye, but you have to get home and change first. I can take you to breakfast before we head out.”
“Okay.” I pecked him on the lips before I got out of bed and gathered up my clothes.
Because it made me happy when Wilson went cross-eyed, I pulled the shirt off in front of him. It might have been a mean thing to do, but he knew he was allowed to touch me if he wanted to. So maybe I was just offering.
I said one more goodbye after I changed, and then I left him to get ready for work.
I was crossing my driveway, thinking I was totally safe for sneaking back in when I remembered it was the weekend. Both of my parents were home, and so were two little kids. So this would be harder than I thought it was.
Okay… so now I didn’t know what to do. I suppose if I was caught, my death would be worth what I got to do last night. I shivered just thinking about it. Would Wilson be willing to do that again if I asked?
Backyard. I could sneak in through the backyard. Though, that led into the kitchen. I’d be in the house, but I might run right into my mom. She would know where I was and guess what I was doing. The best comfort I could give her was that I hadn’t had sex. And I wasn’t sure when Wilson would be okay with doing that.
I was heading around when the garage door opened. My heart arrested, and I might have gasped aloud. In a pure bout of panic, I decided to just stay where I was. I sat out of the way of the car and stared up at the sky.
Moments later, my father, Welly, and Jude came out of the garage. The boys ran around, and
Dad walked over to me. “Riley?”
“Hi, Daddy.”
He studied me. “What are you doing?”
I patted my knees and came up with a lie that I thought he would believe. “I wanted to see the sunrise, so I got up early and came out here. Isn’t the sky so pretty?”
Dad looked at me like I was as crazy as… well… as I was. It wasn’t hard for him to believe this. He smiled and patted my head.
“Sure is, sweetheart. I think your mom is looking for you though.”
I popped up from the ground and gave him a hug goodbye before waving to the kids and skipping off into the house. Mom wasn’t downstairs or in the kitchen, and I bitterly wished I’d just taken the risk before. I could be in the shower right now, not having to worry if she noticed I was in the same clothes as yesterday.
When I couldn’t find her, I started for my room. If she needed me then she would know where to find me.
It was supposed to be that easy.
“Riley,” Mom said from my bathroom.
Her voice sounded like it was on the edge of worried and accusing.
So, maybe I’d been caught. Since I was without choice, I followed her voice and found her in my bathroom with my pills in her hand. Oh no…
She arched her eyebrows and shook the bottle. “Care to explain to me why I counted these out and there were extras?”
My fear of being caught was eclipsed by my anger that she didn’t trust me. Oddly enough.
“You counted?” I couldn’t believe I missed some days.
It figured that she would notice.
“Of course I did.” She set the bottle down. “You’re not acting right and now I know why. If you don’t take your pills, you won’t get better.”
I felt my expression turn to a scowl. “I’m not ever going to be normal, Mom. I was held as a prisoner for seven years. I’m weird and broken, and I will never function the way you think I’m supposed to. The only things that can help me are time and my friends.”
“I just don’t want you hurting, Riley. You need a break from everything that place was. Those friends are only going to remind you of what happened.”
I threw my arms in the air. “Everything reminds me! The sky and the weather. Clothes that aren’t pink. Shoes that aren’t heels. Showering alone. Sleeping alone.”
She winced.
“TV and cell phones. Books that are from this decade. A real house and Welly and cars and Wilson and every single thing that you can think of. This pain is etched into my head and soul. I will never be without it. Pills won’t fix it, but my friends can ease it. I’m sorry that you lost your daughter, but I’m all that’s left of her. That girl is dead, and you can’t force her back with chemicals or talking to strangers. What happened to me was ugly and horrible, but you can’t sweep it under the rug because you don’t want to deal with it. Just let me heal on my own.”
When she was silent, I went to my bedroom. I couldn’t stand the looks she gave me. The longing for another girl at her kitchen table. I couldn’t be her even if I was willing to try. That girl broke into nothing, and this new girl took her place. I had to be strong to deal with what was thrown at me. It was why I’d tried to kill myself. I wasn’t strong enough to keep going.
But I knew better now. I knew that it wouldn’t ever get better if I didn’t stick around to make it better. I had my sisters and Wilson. My brother. They could help me through when things got darker.
I took some new clothes and left my room again. I planned to shower at Wilson’s house, and he would be better company anyway. Mom was in the hall waiting for me, and I walked right past her.
“Where are you going?” she asked while following me.
“I’m spending the day with my boyfriend. Because at least he lets me be who I am without judgment.”
“Boyfriend!”
I got to the door and turned around. “Yeah, my boyfriend. I love him, and he cares about making sure I’m okay. Because there’s a way to be concerned for me without suffocating me at the same time.”
I was out the door and rushed past my family without looking back. Mom spoke to Dad, and I didn’t care what she was telling him. I didn’t care about any of it. I just cared about when I got through Wilson’s door, found him in his room, and he held me tight while I sobbed all of my feelings to him.
“How do you manage to look so breathtaking while doing nothing but sitting?”
I looked at myself on the counter at the shop. I didn’t know what he was talking about. The gray dress I wore was plain, like my boots. My hair was the same, and I just crossed my legs.
I shrugged and held the edges of the counter. “I don’t know. But thank you.”
Wilson grinned and kissed my cheek before heading back over to the truck he was working on. He didn’t tell me what he was doing, but I figured it would be complicated for him to try. It worked for me to just sit there and watch him.
It would have been perfect if not for his boss. The man was robust, and he liked to make sure everyone knew it. In every way, he would control what Wilson did, subtly telling him he wasn’t smart for the choices he made. I stared at the big man, glaring with everything in me.
His clothes were dirty, and he wasn’t even working. He pawned that all off on Wilson. I caught his name, Vic. I already didn’t like it. He looked about middle-aged because of the lack of hair on his head and the same lacking when it came to the rest of his appearance. Wilson didn’t like him either. He glared at the man every time Vic looked at me.
Vic wandered over and I wanted to run and hide behind Wilson, but I’d met scarier men.
“How are you doing, sweetheart?” he asked me. “Can I get you anything?”
The innuendo in the phrase made filled me with a slip-slide feeling in my stomach.
I smiled politely at hi
m. “Thanks, I’m fine.”
His eyes traveled my body, and he leaned beside me. His arm brushed my leg, and he kept it there. Flashes of a nail file and blood entered my mind, and I had to fight them off.
“Wilson,” he said unkindly. “How much longer you think that truck is gonna take? You’re supposed to be done soon.”
Wilson lifted his head to glare at the man. “I will be. Don’t worry about it.”
The man huffed. “Then it shouldn’t be a problem if I leave you here and head home.”
Wilson tapped his wrench on an engine part. “Guess not.”
Vic turned to me with a grin. “You hungry? I was planning on getting something to eat before I head home. I can give you a ride back to your place after.”
Oh, wow. As nicely as I could, I turned him down.
“I should keep an eye on Wilson. He tends to get a little mopey when I’m not around.”
I smiled at my boyfriend, and he waggled his eyebrows.
“Sure.” Vic moved away from the counter with a pout. Then he rubbed my thigh with a dirty hand. “Maybe next time.”
The moment his car was gone, I hopped up and ran to Wilson, shaking away the icky feeling through my hands.
“Eww… he touched me, Wilson. With his grubby hands.”
“I’m very sorry. I kind of want to kill him right now.” He set the wrench down and crossed his arms. He looked even less pleased than I was.
I shook my head. “I’ll be fine. I just feel gross. I might need a bath later.”
Wilson laughed through his nose. “That can be arranged, I’m sure. Are you going home tonight or would you rather not? I can bring you to Layla’s or Adalyn’s house if you’d like.”
“I’d rather stay with you.”
Then he smiled, picking up the tool again. “That’s fine by me.”
I took my seat again, watching Wilson as he fixed up the car like it was the only thing in the world. It couldn’t run at all before, and I watched it come back to life once he was finished. Then he returned to me to finish the paperwork.
Wilson was cleaning his hands on a rag when a man walked through the open door. I waved to him and put on my best work voice.