by Nicole Thorn
I saw the blood dripping onto the ground.
Wilson
flicked my lighter on and off as I stood at the heap of parts. Riley was so disappointed in me. She should be. I did bad things, as usual. It just wasn’t school fights anymore. It was looking the other way at stolen cars as I stripped parts away.
I couldn’t be this man if I was going to be with Riley. I knew that. I needed her, and I needed to stop this. I couldn’t look into her eyes and see that expression again. I should be the kind of man she would be proud of. One that she would want to stay with. Maybe have kids someday. Marry. She was right; I should be the kind of man that I wanted Jude to be.
Still, I was taking inventory of parts after I shoved the lighter back into my pocket. I couldn’t remember the last time I smoked, so I wasn’t sure why I still had it. I guess I was quitting. Riley hated it, Dad hated it, and it was hard keeping it from Jude. It cost money I wouldn’t have if I quit this. All signs pointed to quitting.
For the last three hours, I’d been chopping cars and making a lot of money doing it. Turned out that Sherman was lying about work being slow. He needed me, and he just didn’t want me to know it. I wasn’t sure why since I was pained into a corner with him. Unless he found a better deal, I was stuck.
Guilt followed every move I made throughout the night. I wanted to call Riley and hear her tell me she wouldn’t leave me. I knew she wouldn’t. She wasn’t the kind to leave. I wasn’t sure there was anything I could do to make her leave.
Because of that, I would take care of her for as long as she’d have me. I could picture it in my head, as crazy as it sounds. I could see us picking out a house together. Her hand in mine and that excited look on her face. Would her ears wiggle when she found a house she liked?
Then there might be a day where she wanted my baby. I never really saw myself as a father, but I could see it with her. She would be a wonderful mother. Compassion and wisdom that I couldn’t even hope for. She wasn’t as broken as she thought she was. Her fears would leave her once she had the child in her arms. She would melt and smile and be happier than she ever was before. She could make up for all of the mistakes I would make along the way.
“Almost done?” Sherman asked as he walked up behind me.
He had a sandwich in his hands and his mouth was full when he spoke.
I didn’t like him before, but I hated him now for the way Riley looked at me. So upset that I’d lied to her, that I was risking my ass, and that I would do something like this. She thought so much better of me. Even when she shouldn’t think anything of humanity.
“Yeah,” I said coldly, taking notes.
Sherman chewed and spoke again. “How’s your little lady? You seem pissy. She being annoying?”
I looked up to glower at him. “She’s never annoying. And she’s fine. Don’t worry about her.”
He smiled. “Yeah, she looks sweet. Bet she listens to whatever you say.”
Not likely. The girl pulled me around on a leash. It was the biggest reason I finally gave in. She was far stronger than I thought she was, and who was I to keep her from what she wanted?
“Is this the rest?” I pointed with my pen at the parts. “I’d like to head home soon.”
Sherman grinned again and nodded. “Ah, I get it. Pretty girl waiting for you. I’m sure you’d like to head back as soon as you can.”
Jesus. Of course he thought I could only be heading home for sex. I think the amount of times we’ve kissed was barely ten. I liked sitting beside her, talking, a million things other than what he was thinking.
“So?”
“So,” he started then froze all together.
I followed his eyes when he cursed to himself and stared out the window. There was a police cruiser parked outside with a man stepping out.
“Shit!” Sherman panicked. “Did they leave with the scraps yet?”
“Half hour ago.”
He started shoving me to the back. “Go wait and don’t make a damn sound. You hear anything going wrong, grab the gun in my office. Do you understand me?”
I nodded and took off.
This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but normally I wasn’t here for it. This time, Sherman would have to do some quick talking to explain his way out of it. I could take off for home if I was so inclined. Sherman would find me and kick my ass if I did that. It would only do more harm.
The boys took care of all of the parts we couldn’t use. Old or wrong for some reason. So all we were left with were fairly new parts all lined up at the wall. There was a chance it looked like we’d just gotten an order in, but I doubted it. They were still dirty.
I couldn’t hear what was going on, but it wasn’t loud enough for it to be a struggle or a fight. This damn office was too far away as I paced it. I should have stayed home with Riley like she wanted. Instead of letting her storm off like I did. So upset with me. And it was because she was worried. But I just let her walk away from me. Why didn’t I chase her? Dad said you always chase the girl.
This was my punishment. Just what she warned me about in the first place. So much smarter than me. Her ideas for my own shop weren’t so bad. Tempting even. I could be my own boss. Riley could work with me. I’d love that. I could look over at her and see her smile at me. I wouldn’t even mind if she wanted her sisters there too. Layla was clever and smart. Adalyn was sweet and friendly. We could do this. All I needed was Riley.
Voices carried, and I listened harder, putting my ear to the door. It would seem I didn’t need to go for the gun after all. Which was good, since I wouldn’t have done that anyway. I was a lot of things, but a killer would never be one of them. And I wouldn’t be a thief for very much longer if I could help it.
I should have been home right now. I should have been holding Riley as she fell asleep far too early because she couldn’t help it. She’d be in one of my shirts and smiling in her sleep. She had good dreams now.
I was called out after everything was over, and Sherman looked normal again. The cop wasn’t dead on the floor, so I could only assume he was very stupid, or he was greased.
“What happened?” I asked.
Sherman smiled. “I knew the guy. For a couple bucks, he was willing to look the other way. I suspect he’s going to check in more than a few times. I might need to figure something out.”
And I wouldn’t be involved. “Can I head home? I need to see my girl.”
Sherman nodded, and I got out of there.
The room was dark when I walked in, but I could see the shadow of a body in my bed. I kicked my shoes off and went to switch my lamp on. A softer light than the overhead.
Riley was under my covers and in my clothes, fast asleep. I would have left her like that if I didn’t think something was wrong. Or if we’d been on better terms. She left me almost crying, and I couldn’t sleep until we were okay again.
I put my hand on her hips and gently shook her. “Baby?”
Slowly, she breathed in and opened her eyes. She blinked a few times before she rasped my name. “Wilson?”
I nodded and scooted closer. “Are you okay?”
She was frowning, and her eyes were so sad as she told me all about a fight she had with her parents. It sounded bad. I knew what they were going for, but I didn’t know just how far it went. They were trying to get her to keep away from her sisters. I could almost see the reasoning, but I couldn’t agree with the choice when I saw how much it scared Riley to think about not seeing them. Going from every day to so much less was upsetting her. Those girls kept Riley alive, and I knew it. For so long, I thought I would lose her after Kylie died. But no. Riley kept going because she always kept going. Her parents didn’t see that, and it was a shame.
I sat right beside her, and she curled up on my lap. The best comfort I could give her was running my fingers though her hair.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “They mean well.”
Riley wrinkled her nose at that. “Lots of people m
ean well and make bad things happen.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, but I think they’ll come around. If you keep seeing that doctor with the girls, then I think your parents will let up a little on the talk about cutting them loose.”
“I agree.” She propped herself up and crossed her legs. “Can I sleep here tonight? I had to sneak out, and I really don’t wanna sneak back in.”
“Of course. But I should warn you, I’m taking the kids to school tomorrow. Your parents will almost definitely find out you were here.”
“Fine. I don’t care,” she said, and I believed it.
Her aggression toward her parents was very real and very frequent. And she thought Layla was the angry one of them…
“They think I don’t have a clue. They think that you want to take advantage of me and that I can’t love you because I’m so messed up. That’s very silly because I love you so much.”
I paused for a few moments, replaying the words in my head. “You love me?”
Riley smiled. “Of course I love you. Have I not told you yet? Could’ve sworn I have.”
In love with me. Riley Cain was in love with me. The stunning girl in my bed who could look at anything and see magic in it. I caught her eye, and she wanted to keep me. She saw something there worth her time. How could that be?
I was probably a parent’s worst nightmare. I had no illusions about the kind of person I was, and I couldn’t help but worry that I was somehow making Riley think I was better than I actually was. I influenced her to go against her parent’s wishes, and I knew that was wrong of me. She felt smothered by them with all their caring. I knew they were just afraid, and I think Riley would see clearly eventually. Once she was out of the woods and somewhere good in her head.
“You have not…” I said slowly.
“Oh,” she squeaked and moved onto my lap. “Sorry. Wilson, I love you very much.”
I laughed, still in shock that someone as good as her could love someone as worthless as I was. “I love you too, Riley,” I said because I had to finally say it out loud.
She smiled again. “Good. Then we’re in agreement. We love each other.”
We did.
I hoped that in fifty years, I would still be in a little bit of shock that she could love me. Was this what Dad felt like when he was with Mom? He would tell me stories I couldn’t understand when I was younger, but they made so much sense now. How helpless you feel, and how much you love it. My heart and peace of mind relied entirely on one person, and I wasn’t scared at all. Like magic.
She looked at me with those big blue eyes that I adored, and I saw every single reason I had to love her. The excitement at every step we took, and the ones on her own. She celebrated victories in earnest, and that was lovely to see. There was nothing false about her, and there couldn’t be if she tried.
I laid Riley down and tucked her in before I changed for bed. She requested I didn’t wear a shirt, and who was I to tell her no? I ended up in just my pajama pants, and Riley rolled onto me when I got into bed. Her heat soaked though my skin and down to my bones.
She settled on me as if I were the most comfortable thing in this room. I didn’t mind at all. I might even sleep better with her on me. She could keep me warm and make me feel loved.
“How was your night?” she asked.
I nervously tapped on her back with my fingers, thrumming. “A cop came.”
She sighed. “And?”
“And, you were right. I need to get out of this. I just need to figure out a way to do it where Sherman isn’t going to be pissed off at me. If he leaves for his own reasons, then I’m fine.”
“What if stuff doesn’t sell as well? You can lie.”
“He’ll blame me.”
I didn’t want to tell her he was the kind to literally beat the hell out of people who didn’t get him what he wanted. Some he assumed were pocketing the cash. That earned broken bones and torched houses.
Riley lay flat again, her lips brushing my chest while she thought. “We can think up something good. Then we can get to work on you opening up your own place. Jude and Welly can work there when they’re older. Then the kids you have.”
She wiggled her nose, and I wondered if that was because she said you and not we. I couldn’t imagine wanting kids with another woman.
The more I thought about it, the more I agreed with her on this. I could take classes if I needed. Dad would love that. He would help me with Jude when I couldn’t bring him to school anymore. Dad would help with anything I needed. Riley too. She seemed more on the ball than I was anyway. And I knew she was looking for something to do. Part of not getting a chance to figure herself out during her teen years. We might even be able to take classes together. She said Layla knew of a few good schools.
“Yeah, maybe I can do that. A clean start and an honest business.”
Riley smiled. “Yeah, sounds good to me.”
ell, that felt like proper revenge.”
I was mush on the bed as Wilson rolled off of me. I moved onto my side and left a kiss on his cheek. “I agree. I wasn’t too loud, was I?”
He laughed. “If you were, I think your mother would have come up here and murdered me.”
Wilson pushed me back by the shoulder and took his place on top of me. Softly, he put his lips on mine while he slid his hand down my side. He hooked my leg around him and pushed forward.
“Ya know,” I said between kisses. “If we went back to your house, we could do a lot more than make out.”
“Yes, but there was a point to being here: your parents think that as long as we’re here, I won’t touch you.”
Well, he proved that to be very wrong a few minutes ago. So now I felt guilty that I was all happy and sated while he was worked up. Not fair at all. I’d have to make up for it later.
The two of us sat up and cuddled on the bed. It might have been best if we didn’t fool around while my mom was downstairs. But he was right; it was very good revenge. She glared at him when he came in the door, but she kept quiet about it. I think she was trying to get on my good side and not talk about keeping things from me anymore. Wilson said she used to like him before I came back home, so this was all my fault. I did feel bad for how I was making my parents feel about all this, making them worry about me. Something in my brain tugged at me, telling me to be a good girl. Go see the doctor and not rub in their faces that I was with Wilson. I just couldn’t seem to control myself. Not when I had all this freedom I didn’t know before.
The look on Mom’s face when we showed up this morning was… interesting. Made even more so when she didn’t comment on it. I think she knew this was a losing battle. One that if she pushed, she’d lose me forever. The whole thing made me uncomfortable.
Wilson pulled my legs onto his lap and watched the birds out the window. “I’m off all day, so maybe I can take you and the kids to dinner tonight.”
I smiled. “That sounds nice. And I can get out of this house for a while. I almost wish I was still in school. It was awful when I was a kid, but the eight hours away would do me good now.”
Wilson shrugged thoughtfully. “You can go back. I’m sure there’s something you can do. Once you get your GED, you can take college classes.”
I sighed. “But everyone might know who I am now.”
“True. Though after a little while, they’ll stop caring. Another story will take over the news, and you’ll just be the stunning girl who sits in the back of the classroom.”
I blushed. “You’re very sweet, Wilson.”
“I am.”
We sat in peace for another half hour or so before my mother knocked on the door. I knew it must have killed her to knock, but it wasn’t worth it for her to bust in and see something that might bug her. Did she miss the times where she didn’t have to worry that her daughter would be wanted by boys?
When she came in, her eyes went right to my legs on Wilson. We were both fully dressed and not doing anything inappropriate, but it was like we were in th
e middle of sex by the look on her face. She wouldn’t even step into the room.
“Riley,” she said. “Have you taken your pills today?”
I wanted to break something, but I didn’t. I was a good girl in speaking with my mother.
“I’m not going to take them. I don’t want some chemical making this go away. If I was sick, then I would take medicine. But what I feel is caused by something that happened. It would be unnatural to drown myself in pills.”
Mom sighed with exasperation and gripped the doorknob. “There is nothing wrong with getting help when you need it.”
“I agree, but I don’t want that kind of help. I’m getting through this just fine with my friends.”
Wilson’s hand went to my back to show me he was supportive. He let me speak and didn’t try to direct me like my mother did. He was just there.
Mom let go of the door to cross her arms, as if that would make me think she was getting serious now. “I don’t want you hurting yourself, Riley. You threatened to kill yourself.”
Wilson’s fingers curled in, and his nails pressed to my skin. I told him the whole conversation from last night, so I knew he wasn’t worried about me like that, but hearing it might still be painful.
“I’m not going to kill myself.” Anger wanted to follow my tone, but I didn’t let it. If I acted like what she thought was irrationally, she wouldn’t believe a word I said. “I’ve told you that before.”
“Then why don’t I believe you?”
Wilson spoke before I could. “Because you don’t trust her. If you did, then you wouldn’t be so reluctant to let her do the things that she wants. She’s not asking much.”
My mother glared at him. “This is a family matter, Wilson. I love you and your brother, but I’m starting to think my daughter’s best interests aren’t what you’re worried about.”