by Yu Hua
Of the nineteen infatuated men, only two were bona fide bachelors, and these two initiated courtship procedures, both declaring that they had neither a marital history nor even a girlfriend history. One even showed Lin Hong's parents his medical records, which stated that he had no history of mental illness or any other chronic illness. The other, when he learned of this, immediately presented his parents’ medical histories. Spreading them out as if he were unfurling a pair of scroll paintings, he showed Lin Hong's parents that his own parents had no history of mental illness or chronic illness either. As for himself, he patted his chest and said that he had no medical history at all. He claimed that he had never been sick in his life and in fact didn't even know what it meant to be sick. He said he was so healthy that he had never even sneezed, and that as a child he found it very curious when someone sneezed, thinking that their nose was farting. As soon as he said this, his own nose started to itch and his mouth opened of its own accord. Realizing that he was about to sneeze, he made dramatic gestures as he swallowed the sneeze, looking as if he were gulping down poison. He feigned a yawn and said with embarrassment, "I didn't sleep well last night."
These two bona fide bachelors both paid several visits to Lin Hong's house. Though they saw with their own eyes her tepid response, the polite smiles from Lin Hong's parents inflated their hopes. Already imagining themselves as prospective sons-in-law, these two bachelors started calling Lin Hong's parents Mom and Dad. Covered in goose bumps from embarrassment, the parents demurred, "Don't call us that, don't call us that."
One of the bachelors was comparatively tactful and switched back to calling them Uncle and Auntie. The other, however, was even more obtuse than Baldy Li and continued calling them Mom and Dad, explaining that since he would be calling them that sooner or later, he might as well start now. Lin Hong's parents snapped back, "And who is your dad? Who is your mom?"
Lin Hong despised these two handsome misers, who kept coming to her house empty-handed just before dinner and dawdling in order to get a free meal. It's true that once one of them did give Lin Hong some melon seeds to snack on. He kept reaching into his pocket while they were chatting but waited until her parents retreated to the kitchen to hand her the seeds, looking as if he were giving her some South African diamonds. Lin Hong saw that the seeds were already soaked with the sweat from his palm and mixed with lint from his pocket. Revolted, she turned away, pretending she hadn't seen them, and thought to herself that this oaf was even worse than Baldy Li, if that were possible.
Initially Lin Hong's parents, upon seeing a suitor lingering about when they were ready to eat, would courteously invite him to stay for dinner. After each of these bachelors had had dinner once at Lin Hong's home, he immediately bragged to everyone that he and Lin Hong were officially an item. They would even spice things up a bit, one boasting that Lin Hongs mother had served him personally, the other claiming that Lin Hong had fed him with her own spoon. The bachelors even asked their friends to help spread the stories of their romantic adventures with Lin Hong. Their friends, however, suspected that none of this was true; and while it would have been easy to simply repeat the stories, they would lose face if Lin Hong disavowed them. The two bachelors, however, saw things differently, and upon hearing each other making up preposterous stories, they felt the need to make even more outlandish claims so as not to fall behind. Even if they fell short in the end, they nevertheless felt that to have courted Lin Hong in the first place was definitely something to be proud of and would certainly raise their personal worth—which would come in handy in courting other girls.
These two sensationalizers finally encountered each other on the street. As one of them was proudly recounting stories of his romantic adventures with Lin Hong, the other, walking by, couldn't stand it anymore and shouted, "Bullshit!"
The two then stood there in the middle of the street and proceeded to curse each other, spittle flying everywhere. Everyone watched as they simultaneously rolled up their left sleeves, then their right. The onlookers retreated to give them room, fearing that a fierce battle was about to erupt. The two suitors then squatted down and rolled up their pants legs, exciting the onlookers even more. Everyone was certain that they were about to put up a ferocious fight, a fight for the ages. After the two had rolled their pants legs up above their knees, they noticed that they now had nothing left to roll up, but they still didn't come to blows; rather, they continued cursing each other as before, the only difference being that now they wiped the spittle from their mouths with more intensity.
As everyone was waiting with anticipation Baldy Li appeared on the scene. Having just given Tao Qing his work report over at the Civil Affairs Bureau, he was on his way to the Good Works Factory when he saw a huge crowd of people. He pulled one of the onlookers aside and asked what was going on. With a certain degree of exaggeration the person exclaimed, "World War Three is upon us!"
Baldy Li's eyes glittered, and he shoved his way through the crowd. When the people of Liu Town caught sight of him, they became even more excited, saying that now there was sure to be a great show, that what had already been a competition between two heroes had now become, with the arrival of Baldy Li, a Romance of Three Kingdoms. Hearing the two men—fingers pointed at each others chests and spittle flying everywhere—each claiming Lin Hong as his own, Baldy Li immediately erupted in a fury and launched himself between them. Grabbing each by the collar, he roared, "Lin Hong is my girlfriend!"
The two suitors hadn't expected Baldy Li to appear and immediately stopped in shock. Baldy Li roared again as he released the one on his right and swung his fist at the one on his left, giving him a black eye. Then he proceeded to give the one on his right a black eye as well. That morning Baldy Li ended up beating both men so badly that they were left moaning in anguish. The onlookers were now so giddy that they repeatedly stomped their feet, sensing that this was even better than returning to the Three Kingdoms period and watching Cao Cao beat up Liu Bei and Sun Quan. Several onlookers became so frenzied that they imagined themselves to be the famous Three Kingdoms strategist Zhuge Liang and urged the two suitors to join forces and attack Baldy Li together. One onlooker pointed at one of the suitors and shouted battlefield strategies at him as though he were Liu Bei: "Join forces with the Kingdom of Wu to defeat the Kingdom of Wei! Join with Wu to defeat Wei!"
After Baldy Li beat the two so badly that their heads started spinning, the crowds calls became increasingly muffled, though Baldy Li's shouts could still be clearly made out. He continued to pound them mercilessly while at the same time submitting them to a policelike interrogation: "Tell me, quick, whose girlfriend is Lin Hong?"
Both responded with their last breath, saying, "Yours, yours."
The onlookers shook their heads in disappointment, saying, "They are both hopeless."
Baldy Li shoved the two aside and glared at the onlookers. Those who had just been pretending to be Zhuge Liang were so terrified that they tucked their heads in and retreated, not daring to say another word. Baldy Li waved at the onlookers, warning them, "If anyone dares to claim that Lin Hong is his girlfriend, I will beat him so badly he won't even be reincarnated."
Baldy Li then turned and left. Many in the crowd heard him smugly saying to himself, "Chairman Mao put it well when he said that power comes from the muzzle of a gun."
Baldy Li beat the two romantic sensationalizers so badly that they would never forget it, and never again did they dare pursue Lin Hong. Having completely lost face, whenever they encountered her in the street, they would lower their heads and scurry by in embarrassment. Lin Hong couldn't help but laugh, thinking that that hooligan Baldy Li had finally done something right.
When she cast her eye over all of Liu Town, she saw that, though the town s bachelors might be as common as weeds, there was not a single towering oak among them. She was increasingly desolate, feeling completely on her own with no hope for the future. Despite everything, one person began to stand out more clearly in her mind—a pa
le, handsome man wearing glasses, who was beginning to occupy her thoughts. Although this person was not a towering oak, from Lin Hongs perspective he was at least a tender sapling and, at any rate, was better than all those weeds. As long as he was a tree, there was the possibility that he could one day scrape the sky, while the weeds would never do more than spread along the ground. This person was Song Gang.
CHAPTER 32
AT THE TIME, Song Gang was a model youth. He was always carrying a book or magazine under his arm, he was polite and refined, and if he noticed a young woman looking at him, he would invariably blush. During the period when Baldy Li was pursuing Lin Hong, Song Gang was always at his side, and because he was Baldy Li's constant companion, Lin Hong glimpsed him far more often than she did any of the other young men of Liu. Baldy Li pursued Lin Hong so single-mindedly that there was no other thought in his head, and consequently he remained oblivious to the fact that Lin Hong had taken a liking to the quiet Song Gang.
Baldy Li stood stupidly in the middle of the street serving as Lin Hongs personal bodyguard, adamantly refusing to let other men so much as glance at her. Song Gang always lowered his head and quietly walked beside him. Lin Hong grew accustomed to Baldy Li's pestering and learned to ignore it and walk without exhibiting any expression. Sometimes when she was turning a corner she would sneak a peek at Song Gang, and on several occasions she managed to catch his eye, though each time he would immediately avert his gaze. Lin Hong couldn't help but smile at this. When Baldy Li said infuriating things, she couldn't resist peeking at Song Gang and would always see his melancholic expression. From this she understood that Song Gang felt sorry for her, and that gave her a feeling of contentment. Baldy Li came to pester her pretty much every day, so Lin Hong would see Song Gang virtually every day. Every time she glimpsed Song Gang's confused or melancholic expression, her heart would pound like water burbling from a fountain. She wasn't even annoyed by Baldy Li anymore, since he made it possible for her to see Song Gang every day. When Lin Hong went to sleep at night, the unforgettable image of Song Gang with his head bowed would silently enter her dreams.
Lin Hong hoped that one day Song Gang would suddenly appear in her doorway and walk in like those other suitors. She felt that he was not like the others. She imagined how he would stand, embarrassed, outside the door, and after coming in would stammer incoherently. She decided that she liked precisely this kind of man, and when she imagined Song Gangs embarrassed expression, she could feel herself blush.
One evening Sang Gang really did arrive and stand uncertainly in Lin Hongs doorway. With a quivering voice he asked Lin Hongs mother, "Auntie, is Lin Hong home?"
Lin Hong was in her room, and her mother came to tell her that the young fellow who was always hanging out with Baldy Li had come to see her. Suddenly flustered, Lin Hong was about to go out when she changed her mind. Instead she softly said to her mother, "Ask him to come in."
Lin Hongs mother chuckled to herself. She went back out and, in a friendly voice, told Song Gang that Lin Hong was in her room and wished for him to go in. Song Gang walked hesitantly into Lin Hongs room. He hadn't come on his own behalf: rather, Baldy Li had forced him to. Having followed the beating to a pulp stratagem for five months now without any success, Baldy Li had concluded that it was useless and therefore he should perhaps revert to the stratagem of penetrating behind enemy lines. Remembering the ugly-toad-and-cow-dung humiliation he had suffered at Lin Hongs home, however, Baldy Li felt that it was not advisable for him to return in person and instead entrusted his military advisor, Song Gang, to serve as his intermediary. Song Gang was not at all willing but, after Baldy Li threw a tantrum, had no choice but to tough it out and go.
When he entered Lin Hongs room, she was standing with her back to him, braiding her hair in front of the window. As she stood under the rays of the setting sun the shadow of her delicate figure flickered everywhere. The evening breeze blew in, gently lifting her white dress and wafting a mysterious fragrance past Song Gang, leaving him weak-kneed. At that moment he felt that Lin Hong was like an immortal atop a cloud. Half of her long hair was spread over her right shoulder; the other half lay across her left shoulder in a three-strand braid, trembling slightly in her hand. At that moment, the evening clouds were bathed in the red light of the sunset, and Lin Hongs slender, pale neck appeared to glow under Song Gangs gaze, making him stare as stupidly as had the infatuated idiot who worked for Baldy Li.
Lin Hong heard Song Gangs rapid breathing behind her but calmly continued to braid her hair. When she finished her left braid, she lightly shook her head and lifted her hand, causing the long hair on her right side to fall over her shoulder and land softly on her chest. She began making a second braid, at which point her slender, pale neck shimmered into view, and Song Gangs breathing sounded like it had been smothered. Lin Hong laughed softly and, with her back still toward Song Gang, said, "Say something, why don't you?"
Song Gang jumped in surprise, and only then did he finally remember his mission. He stammered, "I have come on behalf of Baldy Li."
Song Gang was so nervous that he forgot what he was supposed to say, but when Lin Hong heard that he had come on behalf of Baldy Li, her heart sank. She bit her lip and, after a moment s hesitation, decided to spell things out for him: "If you have come on behalf of Baldy Li, then you should leave now. If you have come on your own behalf, you may have a seat."
Lin Hong blushed at her own boldness. She heard Song Gang bump into a chair and thought that he was about to sit down, but then heard him stumble out. He had heard the first half of what she said but didn't catch the second half, and by the time she turned around he had already left.
After Song Gang departed that evening, Lin Hong cried in frustration and swore that she wouldn't give this idiot any more chances. But as she lay in bed that night, her heart softened. She thought of all those shameless suitors who had pursued her and then remembered Song Gang's graceful bearing. She was confident that he was someone she could rely on, and furthermore he was more handsome than all the other suitors put together.
Lin Hong continued to hope against hope that Song Gang would come and court her of his own accord. But after several months passed and she had not heard anything more from him, she found herself liking him more and more. Virtually every night she would long for him, remembering the image of him with his head lowered, his sorrowful eyes, and his occasional smile.
As time passed she felt that she couldn't continue to wait for Song Gang to come court her and instead needed to be more assertive. But every time she saw him, he always had that hooligan at his side. Twice she happened to run into him alone on the street, but when she shot him a longing glance, he scurried away with his head down, like a criminal fleeing the police. Lin Hong was heartbroken. She gritted her teeth at the mere thought of him while at the same time continuing to love him passionately. The third time she encountered him alone, Lin Hong realized that this was not an opportunity to be wasted. Therefore, she came to a full halt on the bridge and, blushing furiously, called out his name.
When Song Gang, who was just about to scurry away again, heard Lin Hongs voice, he shuddered from head to toe. He turned and looked about him in every direction, as if there might be someone else named Song Gang with him on the bridge. There were a few other people out walking, and they were all watching Lin Hong curiously after hearing her call out Song Gangs name. Although she was still blushing beet red, she asked him in front of everyone, "Come over here."
When Song Gang walked over, looking like a child about to be punished, Lin Hong said loudly, "Tell that Li fellow not to harass me anymore."
Song Gang heard this and nodded and was about to walk off when Lin Hong whispered, "Don't go."
Thinking that he must have misheard her, Song Gang stared at Lin Hong, not knowing what to do. At that point they happened to be alone on the bridge, and an unprecedented tenderness suddenly appeared on Lin Hongs face as she softly asked Song Gang, "Do you like me?"
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p; Song Gang went pale with shock, and Lin Hong blushingly added, "I like you."
Song Gang stared at her blankly. Lin Hong saw that some people were walking onto the bridge and whispered her final line: "Tomorrow night at eight o'clock, wait for me in the little grove behind the movie theater."
This time Song Gang understood perfectly what Lin Hong was saying, and it left him in a delirium for the entire day. He sat in a corner of the workshop asking himself whether everything that had transpired on the bridge was real. He mentally reviewed again and again all the details of the encounter, which caused him all at once to blush and turn pale, feel distressed and grin idiotically, all at the same time. Song Gang's workmates giggled as they discussed him, but he didn't even notice. Only when they called out his name did he stare at them as if waking from a dream. His confused expression made his workmates laugh even harder, and they asked him, "Song Gang, what are you daydreaming about?"
Song Gang lifted his head and grunted in reply, then lowered it again and continued his reverie. One workmate teased him: "Song Gang, you should go take a piss!"
After his grunt, Song Gang did in fact stand up and walk out, intending to go to the bathroom. While his workmates laughed uproariously, he walked to the door of the workshop and paused, as if he had just remembered something. He then walked back to the same corner of the factory and sat back down again. His workmates laughed hysterically and asked him, "Why did you come back?"
Song Gang responded absentmindedly, "I don't have to pee."
By evening, the events on the bridge had become increasingly real in Song Gangs memory. His thoughts were focused on Lin Hongs blushing face and her trembling voice, as well as her nervously skittering eyes. Especially her whispered "I like you" made his heart skip a beat every time he remembered it.