by Cindy Stark
He kept his gaze locked on hers as he slid a hand behind her back and pulled her toward him. She went willingly.
She slipped an arm around his neck as he leaned into her. Desire flashed in his eyes, enticing her. She stared into his dark pools until his lips touched hers, and then she dissolved into a haze of sensations.
If the first kiss they’d shared had been incredible, this one was out of this world. It was as though everything surrounding him became crystal clear and blocked out the rest of the world at the same time. His fingers seared her back. His cologne swirled her senses. The slide of his tongue against hers was the most erotic sensation she’d ever experienced.
Her insides heated as though they’d been placed in a thousand-degree oven. She was sizzling, molten, and quickly dissolving into a hot puddle of uncontrollable need. She shouldn’t do this, shouldn’t want this, but how could she not? He was everything she wanted in a man, and he wanted her, too.
She slipped her other arm around his neck and relaxed so that he held all her weight. Slowly, he lowered her backward onto the couch, just like she’d intended. When she’d gone too far, the distance forced him to break the kiss.
He wasted no time pulling his legs from beneath her and rolling over until his body covered hers. The weight of him pushed her deeper into the couch, trapping her body so that she felt every inch of him.
“Am I squishing you?” he asked.
“No,” she answered breathlessly. He was, but being so close to him was the most exquisite thing she’d ever felt. She wouldn’t say anything to make him move away. She wrapped her legs around his thighs just to be sure.
He watched her for a long moment, his eyes searching hers with a fierce intensity. Then he lowered his face toward hers and gently kissed her mouth. He took his time exploring, tantalizing her all the while. Her heart matched the loud thunder cracking outside.
He pulled back, disappointing her. His breaths came hard and fast. “You need to ask me to stop.”
Reasons why he might not want this bothered her. “Why?”
Grave concern etched his face. “Because that’s the only way I can stop.”
She slowly shook her head. “Then we’re not going to stop.”
“I’m taking advantage of you.”
A smile curved her lips. “Maybe I’m taking advantage of you.”
“How so?”
She hesitated to tell him, unsure she wanted to bring her past into this moment. But, she supposed her past was part of her, and if he wanted to be with her, he deserved the truth. “I want to know what it’s like to make love to a real man.”
He widened his eyes and blew out a breath. “Whoa. That carries some weight.” He paused as he searched her face. “But you were married. Are you saying you never…”
She reached up, caressed his cheek, and smiled. “I didn’t say I was a virgin. I said I wanted to know what it’s like to be with a real man, someone who cares about me, someone who wants to please me as much as I want to please him.”
He nodded, understanding. “Then, hell yes. I’m your man.”
She tugged his head toward hers. “Yes, you are, cowboy” she said before her lips touched his.
His kisses started gentle, too gentle. “I won’t break, you know,” she reminded him.
He gave her a guilty grin. “I know. I just don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” Of that she was certain. “I’ve waited a long time to be loved by a man like you. So, love me, Jesse. Love me like you mean it.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He stood and helped her to her feet. “We’re going to need some room to move.”
He dragged the folded quilt from the top of the couch where she’d placed it and spread it on the floor. Then he held a hand out to her. She took it without reservation, and he pulled her to where he stood on the quilt.
She was a nervous as she’d been on her wedding night. Maybe more so. Back then, she’d had no experience with what happened between a man and a woman. More so, she’d had no idea what real love was. With Jesse, she was about to experience both, and the idea excited and overwhelmed her at the same time.
He studied her, his expression dark and sensuous. Slowly, he lifted his hands and brushed her hair from her shoulders. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I first saw you.”
She narrowed her gaze in surprise. “You did? How could you? I was a beaten, battered lump of a person.”
He cupped her face between his hands. “You were beyond lovely, even at your lowest point. Nothing can hide this beauty.” He lowered his mouth to hers. She placed her hands on his hips as he assaulted her with devastating kisses that left her limbs shaking.
Her breaths came deep when he released her. Heated need pooled at her core. “I didn’t know what to think of you when I first met you,” she confessed.
“Yeah?” He skimmed his hands up and down her arms and over her back releasing numerous goose bumps. “How come?”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and erased the distance between them until her breasts pressed against his chest, easing some of the pressure building there. “At first, I thought Lydia was very lucky to have a husband like you. When, she told me you weren’t Merle, you made me nervous.”
“Nervous?” he said urging her to continue.
Before she could answer, he tugged her shirt up and over her head, exposing her pink bra. She shivered as air hit her skin. He continued to stroke with his hands as he’d done before, but this time his touch set her bare skin on fire. She closed her eyes and absorbed the delicious sensations.
“You were saying,” he prompted.
She filled her lungs, hoping the oxygen would restore her sanity. “You were handsome, powerful, and so tall.”
“Too tall?” he asked as he lowered his lips to her shoulder.
“No.” Her answer came out breathless. She tilted her head, exposing her neck. “I wanted you to leave because I felt safer with just Lydia and Merle, but then you came every day for coffee.”
“And to see you,” he added.
She pulled away and caught his gaze. “You came to see me?”
“Couldn’t imagine a better way to start my day.”
The strings around her heart tightened. He’d come to see her. “I wanted to see you, too.”
He ran rough fingers over the sensitized skin on her back. “I thought you didn’t want me there.”
“I did, and I didn’t. You made me nervous, but I was drawn to you.” Her bra grew slack, and she sucked in a surprised breath. She hadn’t felt him fiddling with the clasp.
“Drawn to me?”
Her inner muscles tightened as he slid her bra from her arms and dropped it at their feet. “Jesse,” she whispered as though she might die from combustion.
He devoured her with his gaze, his face painted with passion. Her mouth went dry as he lifted his hands to her breasts. Exquisite sensations devoured her from the inside out. The sight of his large, tanned hands holding her, caressing her, sent her to a place she hadn’t known existed.
Her breaths dissolved to pants as he kissed his way down her neck and over her collarbone. When his mouth grazed her nipple, she whimpered and dropped her head backward, arching toward him.
He sucked, and she gripped his shoulders, needing to hold onto something.
“You’re so beautiful, Scarlett,” he said softly as he switched breasts.
Powerful heat built in her core until she was sure she’d explode from need. His touch, his kisses drove her crazy, and she knew what she had right now would never be enough.
She gripped the bottom of his shirt and tugged it upward, forcing him to abandon her nipple. She lifted the shirt from his head, and he pulled her close again until her swollen, rosy nipples pressed against his chest.
Despite his height, their bodies fit like a new glove.
He kissed her, gripped her backside and pulled her tight against him. The feel of his hard penis aroused her like she’d never known. She wanted to see
him, to taste him, to love him like never before.
She didn’t know what kind of relationship he’d had with his wife. But what she’d experienced so far was on a completely different planet from where she’d been. She tugged at the tie on his flannel pants and loosened it.
Emboldened by lust, she slipped her hands down the waistband and gripped his ass with both hands, reveling at his sharp intake of air. “Jesus, Scarlett.”
“Yeah?” she whispered, recognizing the power that came from turning the tables and driving him crazy. She spread her hands wider and then lower, drawing his pants down with her as she sank to her knees.
His erect cock jutted in front of her like a proud soldier, and she marveled at his size. Now, this was a man.
Instead of standing, she drew him into her mouth, running her tongue over ridges and his sleek sheath. His curse came out with enough violence to make her grin.
She made love to him, sucking and stroking him until he cursed again and quickly pulled away.
With movements that were almost angry, he drew her to the quilt until she was flat on her back, and he covered her. His kiss demanded much from her, and she could do nothing but give. She sensed she’d awakened a beast, and the thought thrilled her.
He lavished her breasts again, this time not so tender and loving. He didn’t stay but a few moments before his kisses traveled lower. Part of her urged her to stop him, to keep him from her most vulnerable parts. Her heart begged her to let him in.
She gasped when he lifted her legs over his shoulders and settled in. “No, Jesse,” she couldn’t help but whisper.
“Yes, Scarlett.” He didn’t wait for another response before he buried his tongue inside her.
She bucked hard beneath him, but he held her and gifted her with incredible, indescribable sensations. When her breaths came hard, and she had to fight to focus, he grew more demanding, loving her until she cried out with pleasure.
He wasted no time covering her body, kissing her until she had no concept of time and space. Then he lifted slightly and drilled into her, forcing her body to arc to accept him.
“You’re mine,” he whispered as he pumped into her with a frenzy that stole what little breath she had.
She clung to him as she exploded again, and a few moments later, he shuddered and joined her in ecstasy.
With both breathing heavily, he pulled her to him. Neither of them said anything for a very long time.
She didn’t need anything beyond the beat of his heart to tell her what she needed to know. He’d claimed her, and she silently promised to claim him in return. The divorce had to happen. Soon.
Then she’d be totally free to give herself to him for as long as he’d have her.
Chapter Seventeen
Scarlett slathered homemade chocolate frosting on the devil’s food cake and anticipated the smile she’d get from Jesse when he returned home that evening. Would it be the one who showed his gratitude for all the help she’d given him, or her favorite, the one that said he’d rather devour her than anything else?
She wouldn’t make him choose. He could have her and the cake, and that would make him a very happy man. Which, in turn, made her a very happy woman.
Several weeks had passed since that evening when she’d fully given him her heart and soul. She’d wondered if she should have said no. But how could she deny the only thing that had ever made her feel truly alive? If God wanted to curse her for her actions, he could. If this was his test of her character, she’d failed.
But he was the one who’d given her this human heart. He was the one who’d stolen her mother, the only unconditional love she’d ever known when she was too young to suffer such things.
Asking her to pretend she didn’t crave Jesse’s love with every inch of her being, was like asking a parched man to walk past a pristine river. A person could only be so strong, and she hadn’t been resilient enough to say no to Jesse.
She couldn’t regret it, either. Loving him physically and spiritually had filled her with the greatest happiness she’d known. She’d been clear she couldn’t marry him, and he hadn’t cared.
Yes, she was an adulterer, but only in the legal sense of the word. She had no commitment to Hank. He’d destroyed any chance of love and honor between them the first time he’d struck her to the ground.
In fact, back through the ages, not every couple took wedding vows. That was something society placed on them. Something she now rejected.
She sighed and blew out a frustrated breath. She could justify her behavior all she wanted. Fact was, she hated that she couldn’t freely love Jesse, that she couldn’t proclaim to the world that he was all hers.
But that was her fate. She’d have to make the best of what she had. At least for now.
She finished the cake, happy with the results, and licked the rest of the frosting from the knife. Life was too short to be unhappy, and she’d spent far too much of hers walking that long, hard road.
She set the used pans, bowls and utensils in the sink and turned on the hot water. The dish soap she added had just began to bubble when the sound of a vehicle door slamming startled her. She froze as fear quickly mounted.
Jesse hadn’t taken his truck today. Lydia hadn’t called to say she was coming over, either. Someone else had to be outside.
She quickly shut off the water and dropped to the floor behind the counter to hide in case whoever it was looked in the windows. Could be anyone. A neighbor, a family member. Jesse had mentioned a brother who lived in Sheridan. She inhaled a shaky breath.
Didn’t mean it was Hank.
Didn’t mean it wasn’t, either, and she wasn’t about to be caught without protection.
She glanced to the counter above her and eyed the knife block.
The sound of the front door opening spurred her into action. She’d begged Jesse to keep the house locked, but he didn’t always remember. She stood long enough to snatch the chef’s knife and fell to her knees again.
Her heart thundered loud enough to vibrate the whole house, and she fought to keep her breathing silent. Footsteps drew near and then stopped. She bit her bottom lip and silently asked God to forgive her for her sins.
“Scarlett?” he called out.
A squeak escaped her lips at the sound of Jesse’s voice, and she sagged against the cupboard, her body weak from the adrenaline dump. “I’m here.”
Jesse rounded the corner of the bar and dropped his gaze to her. His eyebrows shot toward his hairline as he glanced over her and stopped at the knife. “What happened?” he asked, his voice heavy with concern.
She shook her head, feeling like a complete imbecile. “Nothing. I just…I heard a door, and you hadn’t driven, and…”
He bent and slipped the knife from her hand, returning it to its home. Then he slid his oversized hands beneath her armpits and hauled her to her feet. Exhaling a big sigh, he hugged her tight against him, and she closed her eyes and absorbed the strength he offered her.
“I’m sorry, honey,” he whispered against her hair.
She sucked in a quick breath at the so-called endearment Hank often used before he made her beg for mercy.
“Shit,” Jesse hissed. “Sorry I used that word. Wasn’t thinking.”
He tucked a bent finger beneath her chin and tilted her face upward. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, her head moving in short, jerky movements. “You just surprised me.”
“I needed to renew the registration on my truck and had to get the paperwork from the glove box. I opened the truck door to get it, that’s all.”
She was a mess. Somehow, she needed to figure out a way to not freak out all the time before she drove him insane, too. “I’m the one who’s sorry. The last thing you need is a crazy, knife-wielding woman in your life.”
He bent his head until his lips touched hers in a soft kiss. “Yes, I do. Do you know why?” he teased.
She gave in to the smile that tickled her lips, and she shook her head.
“Because she made me a chocolate cake.”
Her heart twisted, further strengthening her growing feelings for him. “You noticed?”
“Saw it before I saw you. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have.”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
He snorted. “You sure as hell did that.”
She shook her head in admonishment and then buried her cheek against his soft flannel shirt. She loved this man more and more every day. It amazed her how easy they’d grown comfortable with their new intimacy. They’d reached the point where it would be more awkward to avoid their feelings any longer. “If you’re going to tease me, I’m not giving you any cake.”
A devilish glint landed in his eye, and he turned her and pushed her until her back came up hard against the fridge. He held her there as he assaulted her with tender kisses that quickly turned heated. When she was breathless with desire, he released her.
He gifted her with his sexy, irresistible smile. “I think you will.”
She balled her fist and playfully hit his chest. “Fine. You win.”
With a laugh, he tipped her face upward. “Every day that I come home to you is a win.”
His words brought a bittersweet smile to her lips. If only that could be for the rest of their lives.
“What? Did I say something wrong?”
She studied his incredibly handsome face, the dark eyes that could instantly heat her body or warm her heart depending on his mood. The sigh she tried to withhold slipped out. “I don’t want to say it again.”
“That you can’t love me because you’re still married to a monster?”
“Yes,” she said softly.
He pulled her close and captured her lips. Fragile emotions welled inside her whether she wanted them to or not. He held her tight against him, close enough their heartbeats melted into one. She couldn’t have resisted him if she’d wanted.
When he was finished, he pulled back, satisfaction flaring in his eyes. “I’d say it’s a little too late for that.”
He was right. The longer she stayed with him, the more her feelings intertwined with this new life she’d created. “But—”