by Layla Pierce
My blood still boils, Leo wouldn't conspire to keep me away unless he is up to no good. There's never been any doubt that Leo wants power, but I've never seen him be as open with his goals as this. I clench my fists, but I try to calm myself. "Why?"
"No idea, but your guards have been keeping a close eye on him this morning.”
I shiver. "Do my guards know what is going on?"
"Not that I know of, but they seem extra wary of the king today."
I tilt my head to the side wondering what she means by that "Did Leo come back to our room this morning."
She beamed with pride. "He did, but I informed him that the cook already had his favorite breakfast laid out, so he never came in the room."
My lip twitches in a smile. "Was anyone in my bed when you came in this morning?" Moira grins and then proceeds to motion that she's buttoning her lips. I laugh and shake my head. "It's not what it looked like."
"It looked like nothing more than staying warm on a cold night, m'lady."
I sigh. "Cold." I rub my hands over my bare arms and slump on the bed. "I've turned cold in more ways than one."
"You weren't always cold, my queen." My mouth drops open and I'm even more shocked that she doesn't immediately apologize for the insult, instead to my amazement she continues, "Before you married the king..." She trails off and shakes her head. "Remember when we would stay up late? You laughed, you joked, and you were concerned for your people. You don't laugh anymore" I opened my mouth to point out that I had just laughed, but I know the point she is trying to make. "Leo has turned you to ice. All of us just want our queen back, the queen who loved us, who cared for us, and who never had a harsh word for those who served her."
I blink back a pool of tears threatening to spill over my eyelids. Have I changed so much? Has my loveless marriage turned me into an ice queen? The years of loneliness blurred the past, I remember laughing with the staff. Sneaking into the kitchen to steal a taste of supper before it was served. Late nights hearing all the town gossip from Moira. My head snaps up and I stare at her. "I do still love you, all of you. I do care and I will fix this. I promise."
Moira's smile reminds of how hard my face would hurt after a night of laughing with her and I smile back. As quickly as she'd become a strong, outspoken women I see her shoulders start to hunch and the meekness start to settle into her features. I shake my head. "Don't do that." When she gives me a quizzical look I clarify, "Don't become meek and mousey. I need strong women by my side. We strengthen each other. Never kowtow to anyone ever again, you are my trusted confidant and my loyal friend. I need that."
Moira nods excitedly. "Shall I help you dress for the day?"
I turn and start to slip out of my thin nightgown. "Yes, something red. Today feels like it will be a day to remember, and red is always memorable. But make it quick, I want to catch my husband before he disappears for his meeting."
I find Leo in my private garden sitting on a long marble bench surrounded by red roses. I cock my hip and cross my arms. "Is there a reason you wanted me to sleep in, husband?"
He jumps at the sound of my voice but recovers nicely. "I just wanted you to be well rested, with winter coming so soon we wouldn't want you to get sick again. Remember what the doctor said?"
I nod. The doctor had said a lot of things, one of which was that he had no idea what had afflicted me. Now after hearing the staff gossip, I almost wonder if their paranoia is correct and maybe my husband had made me sick. It did give him a chance to run the kingdom and apparently he made my staff think he wielded enough power to restrict them to rations and threaten them. I'm not sure which problem I want to address, but the heavy stomp of footsteps coming from behind pulls me out of my mental checklist of all of Leo's transgressions.
I glance over my shoulder to see Graham and another of my guards, Aiden fast approaching. I'd had Moira help me sneak out of my room without my guards knowing so I could confront Leo in private. To be fair, I have other reasons for avoiding them this morning. Mostly I want to save myself the humiliation of looking at my guardsmen after having really looked at them last night. From the angry looks on their faces they are not amused by me giving them the slip. Leo laughs. "Did you ditch your guards, wife?"
I turn to glare at him and he swallows down whatever snarky comment he was about to follow up with. Lifting my chin, I point my finger at him. "I don't know what you thought you would accomplish by putting the servants on rations, but I'm remedying that right now. We are flooded with food, our harvests are abundant, and my kingdom does not horde its resources."
His lips tighten but his voice has a strained yet level tone. "As you wish my queen. I was merely trying to help ensure that we could make it through the winter months." It is a lie, a blatant lie. Our kingdom is in no danger of running out of food even with an early winter. My jaw ticks and he smiles at me. "You look tense, dear. Maybe you should relieve some of that tension."
I narrow my gaze at him and sarcasm drips from my voice. I can feel my guards standing all too close to me now but refuse to look at them. Instead I shoot Leo an equally fake smile of my own and ask, "Care to help me with that, dear?"
He makes a visible gagging motion and I roll my eyes at his overdramatic gesture. After his theatrics he says, "I'm telling you, find a stud. Take a lover. Relieve some of that pent-up aggression, you might be a little more liked by your subjects if you got fucked and loosened up."
My mouth has fallen open. How dare Leo say such things to me? How dare he say them in front of my guards. My cheeks burn hot and I squeeze my fists, digging my nails into my palms. I manage to salvage what little dignity is left after he's humiliated me "I'm not an adulterer, even in a loveless marriage, Leo."
He shrugs. "It's not adultery, I'm giving you permission."
The word rankles me and my nostrils flare. "Permission?"
"Yes," he nods and waves me away as if I am the one encroaching on his private place. "Permission granted. From here on out, consider this an open marriage. Now, if you don't mind, I have a meeting."
I've found my footing and I will not be driven out of my own garden. "Well, then. I guess you should get going. A King shouldn't hold meetings in the Queen private garden. It's unseemly, don't you think?"
As soon as he's gone I make my way to the seat and brush off the spot where he sat. I'm not particularly fond of sitting on the benches here, but I'm appalled that he decided to make himself comfortable. My guards are unusually quiet and I finally muster enough courage to glance in their direction. Both of them are standing at attention. Both with jaws clenched. Graham looks furious. Aiden seems irritated but not to the level of anger that is rolling off my captain.
I blow out a breath and wave my hand. "Speak your mind, Graham."
"I'd rather not, m'lady."
His gaze shifts to Aiden and I roll my eyes. "Out with it. Be mad that I came to the garden without protection. Lecture me on the dangers--"
"You already know what I'm going to say, Queen Sophia." He gives me a hard look and I don't like the way he says Sophia. I much prefer the gentle tone he used last night when he called me Sophie instead. "Why repeat myself?"
"Fine." I don't have time for these games and I certainly don't like my staff talking down to me. I push past him in an attempt to leave when he seizes me up by the elbow and yanks me back. My heart pounds in my chest, we are side by side. Him facing the garden, me facing the castle. Graham turns his face and I swallow hard, too afraid to look at him. In my peripheral vision I can see him though. Stalwart and handsome. Strong. The muscle in his bicep flexes as he tenses. I can feel it's hardness against my arm. Hard. I lick my lips thinking back to the sight of him last night. So hard.
"You will not expose yourself to danger again. Do you understand me, Sophie?"
Ah. There it is. The sound of my name on his lips. Even the angry tone can't mask the caring behind it, and I want to melt. Instead I bite my lip, keeping my gaze fully locked on my castle, and give a slight nod. I swall
ow again, not out of fear but because I want to say something to him. I want to tell him I didn't do it to put myself in danger. I just wanted to confront Leo without the humiliation of having others see how my husband loathes me. Finally I manage to whisper. "It wasn't a slight against you, Graham."
"The hell it wasn't." He growls and this time I do look at him.
"No, it wasn't. I wanted to confront him without having to face the humiliation I just endured."
He looks utterly confused. "What humiliation?"
"You heard him. You saw him." My voice grows louder and I yank my arm out of his grip to face him and Aiden who has been exceptionally quiet through all of this. "He insults me, he says my staff does not like me, and he says..." I can't even bring myself to say the words I'm so mortified.
"That you need to get fucked?" Aiden finishes my sentence for me and I want to shrivel up and die.
Biting my lip, I nod. Graham laughs. "Is that all?" I snap my head up and glare at him but he continues to smile. "Sophie, your husband is an unfaithful jerk. We don't care what he has to say, none of it is true."
Aiden clears his throat and I narrow my eyes. Graham lifts my chin up and meets my gaze. "Well, maybe that last part is true, but not so that your staff doesn't like you. They love you, don't worry about that. The only thing he's right about is that you need a release. Everyone has physical needs, even the queen."
There is no way I can have this talk with my guards. I throw back my shoulders and give the sternest look I can. "I don't need anything, least of all sex. I am not an adulterer."
Aiden comes around to stand at my other side and whispers, "I don't think it counts as adultery when your husband leaves your bed every night to sleep with another, refuses to care for you, and gives you permission."
There's that word again and Graham groans, shaking his head, the moment Aiden says it. I turn on his and yell, "I am the queen, no one gives me permission for anything. If I want something I take it. No one, not even the king has a right to give me permission for anything. This is my kingdom. I make the rules."
"Way to go," Graham mutters.
Aiden chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. "I was just pointing out--"
Graham shakes his head again. "Don't even finish that thought."
Aiden gives him another questioning look as if he has no idea what he did wrong and I can't help but laugh at how oblivious he is to how condescending it might be for Leo to give me permission. In most countries the men make the rules, and Aiden is from an outside kingdom. He joined my guard two years ago, hand picked by Graham, but he didn't grow up here and I'm suddenly aware that to the outside world a Queen making her own decisions without needing the permission or counsel of her King must be a difficult idea to wrap one’s head around.
"It's okay." I place a hand on Graham's arm, letting it stay just a fraction longer than is acceptable. Turning to Aiden, I smile. "I understand what you are saying, but I make the laws here. I make the rules. Leo gets to have my permission, not the other way around."
He nods. "I know, m'lady. It's just, well, to be perfectly blunt, your husband does his thing, he doesn't love you, and he's telling you to go find someone to make you happy. Why not do it? Not because he gave you permission, but because you deserve to be happy, my queen. You deserve to be held and touched and kissed." His eyes focus on my mouth and I'm suddenly all too aware of the way he looks at me. Much like Graham and Stephen. With a mix of protectiveness and lust that I'm finding too tempting to deny.
I look away and shiver. It's not cold but the sudden attention from my guard send a chill through me. Graham is there, his hands on my exposed shoulders. The heat from his skin warms me and I close my eyes for a moment to revel in it. "We should get you inside, my queen. You look cold."
I shake my head. The long summer of being kept inside has given way to cabin fever and the last thing I want to do is stay indoors when the weather is so mild. "I want to walk through my garden and possibly find out what my husband's meeting is about."
"Stephen will be following him later today, for now, Cole is watching the King."
I blink. The youngest of my guards, Cole, whom I wonder about often is watching my husband? "Cole can't be watching him. It might be--"
Graham catches my eye and gives me a searing look. "Dangerous?"
I take a deep breath, there it is. Danger. The reason Graham was so mad that I engaged Leo without my guards. He sees Leo as a danger to me. I never thought about it really. When I think about my husband I see Leo as useless, but not dangerous. But that thought had changed in an instant when it came to someone else being near Leo. The idea of Cole being near my husband put a knot of nerves in my stomach that I can't shake. I nod to Graham. "I see your point."
"Good." He motioned for me to walk further into the garden and added. "Cole is one of your elite guardsmen, don't worry about him. He may be young but he is strong and cunning. Leo won't know he's there, and even if he did, Cole can handle himself."
I steady my breathing and wander through the garden, well aware of Graham's hand on the small of my back guiding through the maze of flowers and shrubbery. When we get to the heart of the garden he pulls me to a stop, holding me tight against his body. I can feel his arousal, he's hard like last night and I squeeze my thighs together as a tingle turns to heat in my core. He brushes a strand of hair from my face and leans down. "Sophie..."
My name is so breathless on his lips that I swear it was the wind whispering to me. "Yes?"
His lips lightly brush mine and I tremble. What is he doing? And why does it feel so good? It is the softest of kisses and over before I can even comprehend what is happening. My breath hitches. I want more, I want a long hard, kiss, one that steals my breath and makes me beg for more, but at the same time, I don't want anyone to break me open and make me vulnerable. His mouth moves to my neck and the feel of his lips and tongue tracing along my racing pulse point is agonizing. "What-- What are you doing, Graham?"
"Keeping you warm."
I almost laugh. Keeping me warm is a far cry from making me hot which is currently what Graham's doing. I start to pull away when something hard presses against me from behind. I close my eyes remembering last night with Stephen and Graham in my bed. This is so much different and with a new person, but the rush of adrenaline is the same. Aiden is ready for anything from the feel of his thick cock pressed against my back. He leans down and I can feel his hot breath on the back of my neck and I silently curse Moira for putting my hair up in a messy bun today. It gives Aiden full access to my flesh and he places kisses from my ear to the nape of my neck laying his claim on me.
I close my eyes. Two mouths tasting my skin, four hands roaming my body. I want to rip my bodice open and demand they ravage me, but I don't give into that desire. I maintain my dignity, some of it at least and moan heavily as Graham cups my breasts, heaving them up. His mouth travels slowly down, licking and nipping until he swirls his tongue over the swell of my breasts.
Aiden's hands have moved, he's currently reaching around the front of me to hike my dress up inch by inch while his kisses his way to my shoulder. I can feel his hands as he touches my thighs and I want to spread my legs for him, let him touch me, take me, but at the same time Graham is in front of me and I want that man more than anything. He's the one constant in my life since childhood, and I want to experience all of those unsaid promises that passed between us during our secret flirtations.
Graham works my breasts free of the confines of my dress and takes one of my nipples in his mouth. He is wicked with his tongue and even more sinful with his free hand which travels between up and cups my throbbing sex. My head lulls back and I moan as his palm rubs my most sensitive spot.
"M'lady!" Moira's voice echoed all around me, and I jump back.
My maid bursts through the garden and doesn't even bat an eye at the scene before her. "We have to go."
It's over before it even begins with the interruption and I find myself being ushered back into
the castle for a visit with some of my noblemen and women who wish to discuss the ever-present issue of not having an heir to the throne. As we hurry, Moira quickly puts my clothing back together, making me look presentable to my court without question about what she walked in on in the garden.
CHAPTER THREE
Deeper
For the past four days the castle has been quiet and my two guards have given me space after our time in the garden. Even the two that weren't present for it seem to know something happened. I don't imagine much gossip between them but I do know men do like to talk about conquests. Not that there was much conquering in the garden, but still. I have my suspicions that the four men have at least mentioned it among themselves.
As I ride in the carriage with Cole I try to avoid his gaze. He's the only one of my guards who hasn't seen me in an unsightly state or had his hands or mouth on me. I steal a quick glance at him. Not that I would mind it. If one could maintain innocence while being part of the royal guard of the queen, Cole would be that person. He's younger than the others but by far not a child. When the sun hits his copper hair just right it reminds me of fire and his green eyes are always bright.
"Are you okay, m'lady?" His voice is detached and it takes me aback.
His voice is usually so soft, I've never heard him use that sort of tone in all his time in my service. I look over at him and nod. "Yes, why do you ask?"
"You're very quiet." Something changes in those eyes of his and he asks, "Would you like Stephen to sit with you instead?"
The question takes me by such surprise I can't answer. I stare blankly at him as Cole taps on the roof. "Steph, switch spots with me."
My mouth hangs open, why would he think I'd want Stephen to sit with me? Cole is always at my side in the carriage. As our transport comes to a stop I reach out and grab his arm. "No, why would you think that?"