“You think?” I tried to focus on Greg but watched Mother berating a nurse out of the corner of my eye.
“Yeah. I’ve never felt that alive except in the wild. It’s why I climb. It forces you into the present moment like nothing else. Until now—that was intense and beautiful.” He glanced at his forearm. “This bite was pulsing so hard that I thought it might burst or something. I had to clasp my hand over it to get it to stop.”
“That’s the energy working,” I explained.
Greg rubbed the welt. “It feels hot.”
I was about to suggest that he let Gam do more Reiki on his inflamed arm, but the sound of Mother’s heels on the linoleum interrupted us. She dragged a young nurse behind her. “Right here. Take a look at my daughter’s hand. I think she might need stiches.”
Gam gave the nurse a sheepish grin and winked at me. Mother didn’t wait for me to respond. She yanked my arm out and twisted my palm faceup. I shot the nurse a look of apology. The nurse wiped the cut with antiseptic and put pressure on it with a thick piece of gauze. My hand hadn’t hurt until now. I winced as the nurse cleaned the wound. Greg squeezed my knee as Mother watched over the nurse’s shoulder with a scowl.
“It needs stiches, don’t you think?” She asked Gam loud enough for the nurse to hear.
Gam caught my eye and winked. “I’ll send Margaret some healing now. I have the sense that it’s doing splendidly on its own.”
The nurse assessed her work and finished by securing Steri-Strips on my palm. “It’s fine. It doesn’t need stiches.”
Mother scoffed and said something under her breath. Greg released my knee, but as he did Mother caught his arm in midair. “What is that?” she nearly shouted, pointing out his spider bite to the nurse. “That is infected. Get him an antibiotic. He could turn septic.”
Greg sighed as the nurse and Mother turned their attention to him. I chuckled internally. Mother and Gam were such a contrast sometimes. Gam remained seated, radiating a peaceful stillness, while Mother barked out orders to the nurse as if she had a medical degree. Once Greg’s arm had been bandaged, the nurse gave him instructions for follow-up care and Mother gave him a dissertation on the signs that mean the infection might be spreading.
When the nurse retreated, Greg leaned over and said, “I’m going to stretch my legs for a minute.”
I couldn’t blame him.
Mother and Gam engaged in a mild battle over whose healing method was more successful. The blissful moment we’d experienced together had evaporated, and Mother was back to her nagging self. I let them debate and squeezed in between Matt and Jill on the opposite couch.
“How are you holding up, Megs?” Matt asked, putting his arm around my shoulder. It felt sturdy and warm.
“All things considered, not too bad.”
Jill reached to the floor and picked up a water-color print handbag. She opened the chic French bag to reveal fun size bags of Skittles, M&M’s, Twix, and Snickers. “Dig in,” she said, stretching the cotton bag open further.
“Is that all you have in there?” I asked, taking a Twix.
“Yeah, I told you I had to stock up for Italy.” Jill tore open a package of Skittles and popped a handful into her mouth.
“What did you do, raid some kid’s Halloween stash?” Matt joked.
“Don’t put it past me. I was getting so desperate I might have considered it,” Jill said, chomping on the Skittles. “It turns out that the grocery stores are already gearing up for Halloween. Who knew? It’s a month away, but when I went shopping the other day I noticed a jack-o’-lantern display and stacks of candy at the front of the store so I bought out an entire aisle. These will fit perfectly in my suitcase.”
Matt and I both laughed and helped ourselves to more of Jill’s haul. We ate the candy in contented silence. Sometime later, a handsome older surgeon wearing mint green scrubs with a matching green mask hanging around his neck came out to update us. “Charlie sustained a serious internal injury in the explosion as well as some burns and smoke inhalation. I’ve removed his spleen, and we had to do two skin grafts for the burns.”
I heard Mother inhale. I tossed Jill my candy wrappers and then grasped Mother’s hand in a show of solidarity. Gam stood and placed a hand on each of our shoulders.
“He’s not out of the woods yet. He took in a lot of smoke, but he’s awake and in stable condition. You can see him, but make it quick. I want him resting as much as possible, and he’s going to struggle to talk. We’re giving him extra oxygen and being very aggressive with treatment. We’re going to watch him closely for the next thirty-six to forty-eight hours.”
“We’ll see if a few zaps of Reiki can help speed his healing up,” Gam said to us.
The surgeon stared at her. “Are you a Reiki practitioner?”
She released her grasp on my shoulder and returned his gaze. “Yes, for over thirty years now.”
“Really? Fascinating. We just started a complementary health care initiative here. We’ve incorporated Reiki along with massage and acupuncture into our roster of patient services. In fact, I’ve been pushing for it since the early nineties. I’ve used Reiki in the operating room and found it to be extremely effective in pain reduction for my post-op patients and in reducing nausea with chemotherapy treatments.”
Gam clapped her hands. “Excellent. I wish more hospitals and doctors’ offices would offer it.”
“We have ten physicians and thirty nurses who have been formally trained. I’ve been pushing the administration to implement it as part of our standard training.”
“That’s wonderful.” Gam’s entire face lit up. Was it my imagination or was there a spark of energy between the two of them?
The surgeon returned her infectious smile. “Maybe we can grab a coffee later and talk more. I’d love to hear your perspective, having practiced Reiki for so many years.”
“Sounds wonderful.” Gam nodded.
“I’m sure you want to see Charlie,” the surgeon’s demeanor shifted. “I can take you back now,” he said to Mother.
Mother’s ruby red manicured nails were clasped around my dirty, sooty nails. “Should we go together?”
“Of course.” I squeezed her hand, not caring that I might tear the Steri-Strips, as we followed the surgeon down the corridor. It smelled of antiseptic and bleach.
“He’s alive,” Mother whispered. “He’s alive.”
“I know. I have so many questions.”
Mother paused and gave me a sympathetic but firm look. “I know you do. We all do. But they can wait. Let’s go celebrate the fact that our family is back together. Your grandmother is right. It’s a miracle.” Tears spilled from her eyes. Her face was soft and knowing. For the first time in my life I saw how much she resembled Gam. How had I missed that?
My eyes filled too. I wiped a tear from my eyelid and nodded. “I can do that, Mom. I’m sorry.”
She brought my hand to her lips and kissed it. “There’s no need.”
The surgeon stopped at Pops’ room. “I’ll leave you, but like I said, please keep your visit short and try to encourage him not to talk. I can tell that might not be easy.”
Mother paused at the door. “Are you ready?”
I let out a long breath. “I think so, are you?”
“Absolutely.” She opened the door and stepped inside. I let her go first. My feet moved like lead. I felt like the floor was molasses. Pops lay in a bed next to the window. The shades were closed, making the space seem smaller. He was hooked up to beeping machines and had an oxygen mask covering half of his face. I understood the surgeon’s warning. He was alive, but he didn’t look good.
Mother knelt next to the bed and place her hand on his arm. It had been singed in the fire. “Charlie, we’re here,” she whispered.
Pops smiled before he opened his eyes. Was he in a dream world too? His eyelids fluttered as if it were painful to open them. When he finally did he blinked a few times, trying to focus on our faces. I came closer to the bed,
next to Mother. Pops tried to speak, but nothing came out. He breathed in the oxygen and looked from Mother to me. “My loves.”
Chapter 39
As the surgeon had mentioned, speaking was a struggle. Pops’ voice was scratchy and weak. Bruises and cuts battered every visible inch of his face and arms. His burns had been wrapped in thick gauze. He looked thinner and older than I remembered. Much older. Was it stress? His injuries? Or had it really been that long since I’d seen him? Probably all three.
Mother squeezed my knee for the duration of our short visit. I wasn’t going to press Pops on what had happened, at least not yet. But she must not have trusted me to keep quiet, because her nails remained firmly in place until the surgeon returned and told us it was time to go.
We spent the next two days shuffling back and forth between the hotel and hospital. Gam, Jill, and Matt took turns keeping watch as well. However, before I knew it Jill had to return to Portland for her flight to Italy. We parted with a long hug and a teary good-bye. “You have to promise to call me and fill me in on everything once your dad is up and moving again,” she said as Matt helped her and Gam put their bags in the back of Gam’s car. They would return to Portland while Mother stayed with me in Bend.
“I promise.” I held out my pinkie and linked it with Jill’s. “Pinky swear that you’ll be the first person I call.”
“And I’ll see you both in Rome in a few months, right?” Jill looked from me to Matt.
“Right.” Matt crossed his chest in an old Boy Scout move. “We’ll be there in a flash. You won’t even have time to miss us.”
I wrapped her in one final hug. “Have the best time. Please meet a dreamy Italian who worships you.”
Jill smoothed her hair and let out a long sigh. “I’m going to absolutely die without my two besties with me, but I will do my best to make you proud. By the time you get there I’ll have all of the coolest spots scoped out.”
Despite her anxiety about living overseas I could hear the excitement mixed in her voice. She gave us each a final peck on the cheek and hopped into the passenger seat. Matt shut the trunk. Gam reached for my hand. “Don’t worry, Margaret, Jill is on her path. She’s going to be fine. You all are.” She winked at Matt. “Call if you need anything. I have the sense that Bend might be calling me.”
I thought of the attractive surgeon. As if reading my mind, Gam squeezed my hand. “I sense that the Universe has new adventures ahead for all of us.” With a twinkle in her dark eyes she waved and joined Jill in the car.
As they drove away I rested my head on Matt’s shoulder. “I can’t believe how much everything is changing.”
He held me tight. “What do you think about Bend?”
“I don’t know. I really like it here, but I’m not sure what to do. Did you hear that Greg decided not to sell Northwest Extreme?”
“No. That’s great news! Why did he change his mind?”
“Because of everything that went down. The national media coverage launched him into the spotlight. He left for New York last night. He’s going to appear on the morning shows and even got invited to be a guest on The Late Show. It’s been so nuts with Pops that we didn’t really have a chance to talk. He called to tell me that he was leaving for New York and promised that we would discuss a promotion at the magazine when he gets back.”
“You should negotiate working remotely. It’s not like you have to be in Portland. Especially if he’s thinking you’re going to stay on the social team. You could easily make a case for being positioned in Bend. Think of the outdoor shots you can get here.” Matt reached into his pocket, pulled out a pack of gum, and offered me a piece. “Banana bubble gum?”
“Ugh!” I stuck out my tongue. “That sounds disgusting.” I pulled away from his grasp.
“I know. I figured it would lighten the mood. I don’t even like this stuff.” He unwrapped the piece and popped it in his mouth anyway.
“Why are you chewing it, then?” I waved away the strong scent of fake bananas.
“Turn down gum? You’ve met me, right?”
“Right.” I laughed. “So I’m guessing you’ve made a final decision about Blazen since you’re giving me the full-court press on Bend.”
He was quiet for a minute. “I have. I love it here, Megs. Bend is definitely the place for me.” His voice turned husky as he looked into my eyes. “But I would love it even more if you were here with me.”
His sea-blue eyes held seriousness and familiar depth. I wanted to fall into them and escape the reality that my father was alive and not the man that I thought I knew. Bend and Matt might be my future, but first I had to deal with my past.
“I don’t know,” I said, looking at my feet. “I have some stuff to figure out before I can think about what’s next, you know?”
Matt sighed. “Yeah. I get that, Megs. I really do. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.” With that he kissed the top of my head and chomped his banana gum. “They’re moving Charlie today, right?”
“Right.” The doctors had agreed that Pops was stable enough to be moved out of the intensive care unit. They weren’t saying much about how long he would need to stay in the hospital, although they had already warned Mother that his recovery time could be lengthy and would likely require a stay in a rehab center after he was released. Mother is exactly the kind of person you want as a health care advocate in situations like Pops’. Her phone had been glued to her ear for the past two days. She’d contacted every physical and occupational therapist in town, as well as the executive director of the Central Oregon burn center. I had no doubt that Pops would receive state-of-the-art treatment when he regained his strength. I also had a feeling that Mother intended to be there for every step. She had rented an Airbnb place for the next month and made it clear on more than one occasion that it was a two-bedroom house with plenty of room for me.
“Has he said anything yet?” Matt asked.
I shook my head. “Not really. He’s still in a lot of pain. He sustained second-degree burns on his neck, but they’re also concerned about the chemicals he was exposed to in the explosion. I’m trying to take Gam’s advice and give it time. It’s so hard though. I have a thousand questions I want to ask him.”
“I know.” Matt squeezed my arm. “Your grandmother is right, and Charlie Reed is one of the toughest reporters I’ve ever met. He might surprise you.”
“Maybe.”
Matt’s phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen. “I’ve got to jet, but like I said I’m here if you need anything. Anything, Megs.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Take it easy. I’ll check in later.” He kissed the top of my head again, letting his hands run through the back of my hair. I felt a sense of longing when he released me and walked toward his car. Life in Bend with Matt could be pretty amazing. He had a point about the abundance of outdoor activities and natural beauty that I could document for Northwest Extreme. Plus, maybe it was time for a change. Maybe part of my next chapter meant leaving Portland and all of the terrible memories associated with losing Pops behind.
Pops was alive, which meant that my future was too.
Chapter 40
It took almost another week before Pops was strong enough to speak. Mother and I had kept a rotating vigil. I became familiar with the smell of industrial cleaner, the taste of bad cafeteria coffee, and the nursing staff responsible for his care. The sound of his labored breathing and occasional whisper of “Maggie” became etched in my head. It felt as if we were going to be in limbo—stuck between worlds where Pops was alive and thriving and dead—forever.
But then one afternoon when I returned with a rich dark chocolate mocha from an espresso stand around the corner from the hospital, a nurse grabbed my arm. “Your father is up and talking. He’s been asking for you.”
“Really?” I clutched the coffee cup so hard that I nearly popped off the lid.
“Yes.” She nodded toward his room. “Just know that it’s still a strain for him to ta
lk, so take it slow. I’ve called your mother to let her know.”
Mother had the hospital on high alert. On the rare occasion that she left to rest or change her clothes, she gave me and the entire staff strict orders to contact her immediately with any updates. She wouldn’t be happy to hear that I had left my post in favor of good coffee. But a girl can only stomach weak hospital coffee for so long.
“Thanks,” I said to the nurse, dumping my coffee in the trash and placing my hand on my stomach. If there was ever a time to try to center myself, this was it. I had no idea what to expect. Since the day that I had discovered Pops was alive I had played out every scenario of our first conversation in my head. Now that it was actually about to happen I had a sense of dread. What if he wasn’t remorseful? What if I couldn’t find a way to forgive him? What if knowing his reasons for leaving us were worse than thinking that he was dead?
Panic welled, causing my heart to pound and my palms to sweat. I let out a long sigh, closed my eyes, and called on the Universe to guide me.
You’ve got this, Meg, I told myself as I pushed open the door.
Pops looked like he had a tad more color in his face. He was still hooked up to a heart rate monitor and IV, but he had propped the bed into an upright position and smiled through his bandages when I entered the room. “Maggie.” He patted the bed. “Come sit.”
I was afraid that my heart rate would betray me. It was pounding so hard I thought it might crack open my chest. Putting on my bravest face I stepped farther into the room and then sat at the bottom of the bed.
“Sweet, sweet, Maggie.” Pops untangled the IV and reached for my hand. “Maggie, can you forgive me?”
Tears poured from my eyes. I couldn’t speak. Pops’ grasp was weak, yet I could feel his internal strength. Beneath the cuts, the bruises, and the burns was the father I remembered. The father who I had placed on a pedestal and worshipped.
“Let the tears flow, my sweet girl.” Pops’ voice wobbled. I wasn’t sure if it was because it was a struggle to speak or if he was as nervous as I was.
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