Chapter 1
It had to be roses. Store bought roses, no less. The kind wrapped in cellophane with sprigs of baby’s breath. They didn’t even smell like roses. They smelled like plastic and looked like they’d been sitting in a refrigerated cooler for way too long. That’s how I found out that my husband had been cheating on me. From an uninspired bouquet of stale roses.
I’d been working a double shift that day at the wholesale flower warehouse. The only thing I wanted at the end of a long work week was a cup of strong tea and hot tub to warm my aching toes. Minnesota winters had taken a toll on my feet, as if the cold had permanently seeped into my bones. Even after a decade of living in the Midwest no amount of layering with wool socks or fur-lined boots could stave off the piercing chill.
“Chad, I’m home,” I called, tugging off my gloves and throwing my keys next to a stack of mail by the front door. The house felt more frigid than the wind outside.
Must be another late night at the library, I thought, cranking the heat to seventy-five. Chad, my husband, had been writing the next great American novel for the last five years. He had promised that he was finally close to finishing his masterpiece. I hoped he was right because I wasn’t sure how much longer we could survive on one salary. For the past month or so he had been editing late every night until the library kicked him out, which I took as a positive sign that maybe—just maybe—he really was going to finish the book.
I flipped on the kitchen lights and lit the gas stove. The tips of my fingers were numb from the cold. I blew on them as I filled my stainless steel teakettle and placed it on the burner. Working as the floral manager for a mega wholesale chain meant long hours on my feet walking between rows and row of sunflower stems, cut mums, and mini carnations. I’d spent half of the day trying to reroute three hundred Alstromeria to a bride in Wisconsin who had accidentally been sent yellow daisies for her winter white wedding. To say the very least she was not pleased about the mix-up and threated that if I didn’t find a way to fix it she would make it her personal mission to see me fired. Part of me wanted to tell her, “Please do.”
As I opened my tea drawer, which I kept stocked with a variety of blends, I noticed a vase of roses on the countertop. Chad hadn’t sent me flowers in years. I almost looked past their dull color and lack of fragrance. Had he finally finished his novel? Was this some sort of celebration? Or could it be that my self-absorbed husband had rediscovered his romantic streak?
A handwritten note was tucked into the top of the bouquet. I smiled as I ripped open the envelope. What an unexpected surprise.
DARLING, WHAT A NIGHT. YOUR KISSES ARE LIKE POETRY.
I paused before continuing to read. This was a surprise. Chad never called me darling, and he hadn’t kissed me in weeks.
YOUR GOLDEN CURLS SWIRL IN MY DREAMS AT NIGHT.
What did that even mean? No wonder he hadn’t finished his novel. Talk about terrible writing.
And there was one major problem. My hair is brown. Dark brown. Nearly black, as a matter of fact.
The teakettle let out a shrill whistle. I jumped and dropped the note on the floor.
How could he? I thought, removing the kettle from the stove. After everything I’d given up for him? The jerk was cheating on me.
My hands shook as I poured scalding water into a mug over jasmine tea. Steam enveloped my face. Suddenly I didn’t feel cold anymore. My husband was cheating on me.
I grabbed the note from the floor and ripped it to shreds. Then I threw it and the flowers into the trash. Maybe I should have felt more conflicted, but knowing that Chad had been cheating on me left me feeling strangely relieved.
Things hadn’t been great with us for years. I just hadn’t wanted to admit it. And if I was completely honest with myself I was partly to blame. Not for the cheating. That was despicable and unforgivable. But for staying. Why had I stayed all this time when I was miserable?
Out of loyalty? No. Probably out of fear. Staying with Chad was easy. He didn’t push me to challenge myself. He didn’t encourage me to follow my dreams. He was quite content to follow his own and let me tag along. And I’d done it willingly.
My tea had steeped to perfection. I pulled a bar stool over to the kitchen counter, sat down, and cradled the warm mug in my hands. The scent of jasmine had a calming effect. I took a deep breath, letting the smell of sweet flowers infuse my pores.
I hadn’t been happy in years. In fact, I’d been miserable. Working at a soulless flower warehouse was never what I imagined for my future. Maybe this was the kick in the gut that I needed. I breathed in the tea.
When was the last time I was happy—really happy? I took a sip of tea and reflected on the past decade. My fondest memories were from when I was living with Elin in Portland.
Elin raised me after my parents died. Originally from Sweden she had moved to Portland, Oregon, when I was seven. The Rose City’s laid-back European vibe was a perfect match for her and her floral boutique, Blomma. I grew up surrounded by flowers and Elin’s impeccable eye for design. I’d always planned to return and help Elin with her busy shop, but then I met Chad. We were both students. I was attending the Floral Institute and he was studying creative writing. He used to whisper poetry in my ear while I sewed garlands of greenery together until late in the night.
In those days his dedication to finding the right words to express himself and crafting a superb sentence seemed romantic. We shared an artistic passion. My medium was flowers. His was words. It wasn’t until I followed him to Minnesota that I began to realize that his words were really empty promises. He couldn’t get a real job—like me—because crafting brilliant literary prose took hours of concentrated time and focus. Despite working two jobs, at the warehouse and filling in as a part-time designer and delivery girl for a local FTD shop, the cooking and housework fell to me because Chad insisted that his days be free in order to strike whenever the muse appeared. The muse rarely appeared. Usually he spent his days lounging on the couch watching reruns of highbrow television like Saved by the Bell.
I didn’t need a muse to inspire me. Mother Nature does just fine in that department. She provides ample material to work with. I love blending nature into bouquets. Like a winter wreath adorned with snow-white lilies and delicate red holly berries. Or a simple summer bunch of blushing pink roses, snipped free of thorns and wrapped tightly in rustic twine.
Chad and I had discussed starting my own shop when we moved to Minnesota, but we were short on cash, so I got a job working for the biggest floral distributor in the Midwest. The pay was decent, but there was no room for creativity. My boss didn’t care when the carnations’ color was off or that the mass-produced roses we peddled had no scent. He would remind me time and time again that flowers were a business not an art.
I tried to save as much as I could in hopes that in a year or two I’d have a down payment for my own store, but Chad’s writing expenses constantly ate away at my dreams. He needed cash for writer’s conferences, a faster new laptop, “how to write” books, and his daily trip to the coffee shop. I took a second job waiting tables to make ends meet and shoved my visions into the back corners of my mind.
It was only late at night when I’d soak my feet in a warm tub and drink my tea that I allowed myself to dream. Just a little. Just enough to stay sane. Every time I came close to leaving, Chad would promise that the novel was nearly done. As soon as it was finished and he sold it, it would be my turn to thrive.
That was never going to happen, Britta. Never, I thought as I finished my tea. It was time for me to do something different. Time to do something for me. And I knew where to start—Portland.
I deposited my mug in the sink, picked up the phone, and punched in Aunt Elin’s number. My pulse rate was steady as I explained that I wanted to come home. Elin quickly agreed. The timing was strangely synchronistic. For months Elin had been renovating the space adjacent to Blooma. She was preparing to launch her new cottage, where she would host couture workshops and cl
asses, in spectacular style with a floral fashion show. The party was less than three weeks away, which meant that she was eager for another set of hands and any help I could offer.
Within the hour I booked a train ticket to Portland and packed my bags. I couldn’t believe how clear my decision seemed.
Chad came home sometime after midnight. I heard him unlock the front door and tiptoe down the hallway to our bedroom. When he asked if I was still awake I pretended to snore. In truth, I didn’t sleep most of the night. I stared at the popcorn ceiling without a trace of regret. My stomach flopped with excitement. I hadn’t been back to Portland in almost a decade. I couldn’t wait to see Elin and finally have a chance to test out my artist ability—if I still had any.
It was still dark outside the next morning as I lugged my suitcases through the dirty snow and left for the train. Chad hadn’t stirred when I got up. I wondered how long it would take him to figure out that I was gone for good.
At the station the conductor took my ticket and showed me to my sleeping compartment. The little money that I’d managed to save was mine, and I decided that I was going to be comfortable on my journey into my new life, so I splurged on a sleeper car and a glass of red wine and double chocolate cake for dessert on my journey west.
I spent the next two days watching the landscape change outside the window. Flat prairies coated in a deep layer of snow gave way to hills and mountains. As the train chugged closer to the Pacific coast the sky began to shift. Gone was the blanket of white. I’d made it into the land of color—majestic evergreen trees, cobalt rivers, and a striated sky. I grinned as I pressed my nose to the window and took in the sight of Portland’s vibrant colors. Crayons would be jealous of Portland’s complexion. From peppermint-striped climbing roses to gardens of neatly blooming rows of tulips, the Rose City looked as if it had been brushed by the hand of a master painter. Henry Matisse’s words came to mind: “There are always flowers for those who want to see them.” I felt like I was awakening, emerging from a cocoon of darkness, and ready to really see the flowers around me.
In Cave Danger Page 25