by Claire Buss
Ned eyed a small crab suspiciously.
'Right, I've had enough of this,' he said aloud. 'I demand to see the man who runs this place.' He stalked off into the jungle and returned immediately to his spot on the beach.
'Arrrgggghhhhhhhh.'
The yell relieved his frustration slightly but it didn't solve the problem that he could not get off this blasted sand and he had lost his fellow questers. He closed his eyes and walked forward once more. He stopped when a tree branch slapped him in the face. It sounded different, it felt denser, warmer and more green. Cautiously he opened his eyes and saw that he was in the forest. At last.
'Forgive my foibles, but it is the Isle of Illusion you know, you have to let go of what you think you can see.' An old man with a long dirty white beard and scruffy looking brown robes pushed through some foliage on the left and stood smiling at Ned as if he were inordinately proud of himself.
'Where are the rest of my people?' asked Ned.
'Oh they're still asleep on the beach.'
'Then why couldn't I see them?'
'Because you were ready to see me. That is not something I control but come, be welcome. I have hot broth, which will do you the world of good. You can tell me why you braved the mermaids to come here.' The old man smiled toothily.
'I'm here for the grimoire.' Ned felt he might as well be upfront about it.
'All in good time, Thief-Catcher, all in good time.' The old man turned and went back the way he had come. Ned debated it for a millisecond but decided that he wanted to get off this island and if dealing with a mad old coot was the way to do it then he would drink the broth and talk the talk. As long as he didn't have to cut any toenails. He had a bad experience as a young man visiting a Great-Uncle who had smelt similarly to this old hermit.
They walked without speaking for a few minutes through the jungle until they came to a clearing. A simple wooden hut stood in the middle, the chimney merrily puffing away and all signs of life looking extremely inviting. It was like something out of a fairy-tale, so much so that Ned fingered the knife he kept in his back pocket for emergencies. He didn't want to end up cooking in the oven. And he hadn't seen a single puff of fire grove smoke.
The two men entered the hut and the most mouth-wateringly, delicious aroma hit Ned's nostrils. He inhaled deeply. This might even be worth the toenails, but he still could not shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right.
'What's wrong with him?'
'Dunno.'
Those voices - they sounded far away but Ned knew them, he was sure he did. They sounded like his friends but they weren't physically there. There was no-one here but Ned and the old man. He was sitting at the fireside now with a bowl of soup in his hands offering it up to Ned, smiling benignly.
'I fink you should kiss 'im.'
'Well, if you think it would work.'
'I'd do it but it might kill 'im not cure.'
Ned shook his head, he knew those voices and he half wanted to laugh at that last comment but he could not for the life of him remember why. The bowl was in his hands now, the spoon halfway to his mouth and then it suddenly got stuck, as if he couldn't move it any closer to him. There was softness and warmth and that familiar, delicate perfume that made his heart beat faster. She was kissing him.
Bloody hell, the Emperor was kissing him! Ned's eyes flew open and he was back on the beach, lips locked with Fourteen and the rest of the group standing round staring. He broke contact and began coughing and apologising and wishing he had found a way to clean his teeth or shave or something when he suddenly remembered the old man. He looked around wildly then rounded on Joe.
'Kid, who exactly did you give the grimoire to?'
Chapter 28
'I don't know his name. It was this old guy I met on my travels.' Joe frowned. 'Come to think of it, it was a bit weird. You see, he already knew about the grimoire. I remember thinking I must have told him about it at some pub one evening but do you know what, I don't think I did. I can't remember how we met at all.' He scratched his head. 'What I do remember is that he knew of somewhere to keep the grimoire safe and offered to do it for nothing. I thought it sounded like a good idea at the time.'
'You are incredibly idiotic at times.' Mia scowled at her brother. 'I would never let the grimoire out of my sight and you gave it to some daft old man, on a whim.'
'Hey, that's not fair. I found it. You didn't.' Joe scowled at his sister. 'And anyway you started to do all kinds of odd things that I had to try and cover up for you. So what if I gave a stupid old book away. It didn't work anyway.'
'How would you know? You can't even do basic magic.'
'I tried some of the spells,' Joe retorted. 'Duds – every one.'
Mia shouted louder. 'You fool – you don't read spells out of the grimoire like some daft adventure novel. You have to prepare a safe space. Anything could crawl through from the other side.' She shook her head. 'You could have killed thousands and thousands of people.'
'Ha! Nothing happened. Well, apart from trapping dad in the mountain, that could've been me. But otherwise - not a single, bloody thing. So stop acting like you're so much better than me. Without my twin tie you'd be nothing.'
'Fine – let's get rid of it then.' Mia glared at him.
'Fine.' Joe glared right back.
The twins stood nose to nose, left hands outstretched with identical tiny red sparks shooting out of their fingertips aimed at each other's hearts.
No-one else in the group moved. The sparks kept flying at each other and cancelling themselves out when they touched. Little soft poofs of smoke kept appearing. It was never going to work because Joe was too weak and Mia's power was blocked. Finally Ned pulled the two of them apart and stood gingerly between them.
'I think we have enough danger to contend with without having to worry about wiping each other out. Okay?' He glanced at each of them.
Both twins glared at him and he could feel the heat of their anger. They slowly lowered their hands and extinguished the spells. Ned let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.
'This old guy – scruffy looking with a dirty white beard? Master of illusion that sort of thing?' Ned asked Joe.
'I don't know about the illusion bit, but yeah he was old and had a beard.' Joe flexed his fingers. 'He said he couldn't do magic to me. Said I had a powerful gift.'
'Right, he's a real charmer.' Ned thought for a moment. 'How did you know he would be here?'
'He told me that if I ever needed him I could find him here, on the Isle of Illusion. That's it. That's all I know.' Joe retreated to the other side of the dying fire. Willow went with him, to make sure he was alright. Her tendrils stroked his head gently.
Mia stalked off to where Brogan was sitting and huffed at him. He hadn't even stepped in to protect her honour, not that she needed protecting. Brogan smiled to himself and continued to sharpen his blades. He might not be the smartest Barbarian in the box, but he knew better than to get involved in brother and sister quarrels.
Ned sat down next to Fourteen and cleared his throat. 'Thank you for the er, for the kiss. It was... nice.' The tips of his ears were getting rather pink.
'You're welcome. I was trying to wake you up before you came to any harm.'
'Yes, yes of course.' He tried to keep his voice light and carefree but he was a little disappointed.
Fourteen leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek. 'That one was just for you.' She got up to go and see Joe and Willow, her scent wafting seductively behind her. Ned watched her with an ache in his heart. Realising Mia and Brogan were watching him, he reddened, coughed and called for everyone's attention again.
'I suppose this old guy trapped me in some kind of illusion. He wanted me to eat soup.' Ned looked at Jenni. 'I'm guessing that would have been bad?'
Jenni piped up. 'If you eat something in an illusion, nine times out of ten you're trapped there until the illusionist either dies or lets you go. It's an effective way of catching your enemy. Wh
o doesn't love to eat or drink, right?' She didn't sound her usual grammatically incorrect self, some of her sparkiness had disappeared.
'What's up Jenni?'
'Nuffink, Boss.'
Ned wasn't convinced, but if she didn't want to talk about then he wasn't about to waste time trying to make her. He spoke to the team.
'I think we need to see if we can find this old man together, as a group. With everyone keeping an eye on each other we should be alright. No-one drink anything, no-one eat anything and whatever you do, don't break anything. Who knows what he'd do if we broke something.'
'How do we find him?' Jenni asked.
Ned frowned at Jenni. She hadn't dropped any h's. 'We'll walk backwards and find our way into the forest.'
'Walk backwards into the sea? What a stupid idea – who put you in charge anyway?' Mia was sneering down at Ned, spoiling for a fight.
'You don't get a say,' Ned retorted. 'You're lucky you're not in irons.'
She shut up, but didn't stop scowling at his back. Ned waited while the others gathered their things and then walked backwards away from them. Any minute now he thought. He stopped when the sea reached his knees. Clearly this was not going to work.
'Alright then, let's try forwards again.' He sloshed out of the ocean and onto the beach trying to ignore the squelching. He reached the foliage line and held his breath as he stepped forwards. He vanished into greenery. The others followed quickly, reluctant to lose sight of him.
The forest loomed at them from all sides. Everything looked a bit too green and a bit too lush. Ned knew it must all be an illusion because Willow was walking stiffly trying to avoid touching a single leaf or twig with any part of her body. She had gathered all her tendril-like hair into her arms and was hugging it to herself. The path stretched on and on and on.
'Didn't you say there was a hut or something?' Joe was poking through foliage willy nilly, seemingly oblivious to the green menace that grew around them. He stripped some leaves from an overhanging branch and everyone held their breath to see what would happened. The leaves in Joe's hands melted whilst new ones grew instantly. Joe yelped and wiped his hands vigorously on his trousers leaving bright green stains behind. The marks fizzled slightly and smoked alarmingly, but nothing else happened.
'Remember that conversation we had, like two minutes ago, about not touching anything?' Ned shook his head. 'Jenni, will his trousers be alright?'
Jenni stared blankly at Ned, then slowly turned around and disappeared into the brush.
'What was that?' Fourteen took half a step after her.
'Not Jenni.' Ned frowned. 'We'd better go after her, it. Maybe it will lead us to where we need to be.'
The group drew closer together as they carried on through the foliage. There is something incredibly comforting about snuggling up to someone you barely know when danger threatens. It's like you are saying to the world, here, eat this one, not me. It's about giving the enemy choice, getting your odds down. Smart group behaviour. Ned found himself walking next to Fourteen. She slipped a cool hand into his and he felt a bit better but he was worried about Jenni. She wasn't just his deputy and she was much more than his magic supply on tap. She had saved his life on countless occasions, he owed her everything. She was his partner, he couldn't let anything bad happen to her.
It was fairly obvious which direction Jenni was headed. Every step she had taken had resulted in the plants nearby withering and dying. Not that any of it felt the slightest bit natural in the first place. They walked cautiously onwards. Willow was crying softly, wilting against Joe's shoulder. Mia and Brogan brought up the rear. She was looking daggers at Ned whilst Brogan was merely enjoying being alive.
A clearing opened up in front of them.
'That's the hut. His hut, I mean.' Ned looked about for Jenni but there was no sign. The hut looked as welcoming and inviting as it did before. 'C'mon.'
The front door swung open as they reached it, a delicious aroma wafted out to meet them. Cinnamon twists, just like Aggie's Bakery back home. Ned could actually feel his knees going weak.
'Here have some of this.' Willow shoved some sap up his nose. Ned coughed and blinked. The sap was strong, but the breaded goods smell had gone. He decided not to ask where the sap had come from but muttered his thanks as she did the same for the rest of the group. They now all looked like they had a really, really, bad cold.
The old man was sitting by the fire. Jenni was burning in it. Ned shot forwards without thinking and rebounded hard as he hit a magical shield.
'Release her - now!' Ned was furious he had allowed Jenni to be burnt alive.
'Don't worry. She's fine, they can't burn, you know.' The old man smiled fondly at his hearth. 'It puts fae in a sort of stasis. I thought we'd be able to have a better chat if I outgunned you. Fire power to fire power, so to speak.'
'I thought fae magic didn't work on this blasted island.' Ned growled and drew as much power from his wells into himself, with no clear idea of what he was going to do but with Joe and Fourteen standing at his back, one of them was going to be able to amplify his rage. He waited for the old man's next move. Despite the rage coursing through him, he didn't want to hurt Jenni further.
'On the island, no. But my home, well let's call it a nexus point. A point of great strength and of course great weakness.' The old man's gaze passed over the group. 'Welcome, welcome one and all. Ah young master Joseph – how good to see you again. You are keeping well I trust?'
Joe nodded and reddened. 'Erm, look we've come about that book I gave you. I need it back.'
'That's impossible I'm afraid. I cannot allow the grimoire to go back out into the world. Your father stole it from me and now it has been returned.'
'Look I didn't know he stole it, but we need it to stop him,' said Joe. 'He's going to get free and we can't let him.'
'Not my problem,' replied the old man cheerfully. 'He can't come here, I am protected. What care do I have for the rest of the world? I was here before and I will be here afterwards. It is but a blink of an eye to me.'
Ned was only half listening to Joe stammer and the old man pontificate. He was watching Jenni. Her eyes were rolling in her head like they were moving through treacle. He looked up and saw some rafters. Nothing special, you would expect rafters in a wooden hut like this. Then something caught his eye. A corner of a well-worn book peeking at him. His attention was diverted by a bellow of rage from Brogan who leapt at the old man with his broadsword drawn. He passed through the magical shield and loped the old man's head off. Everyone watched as the head fell to the floor and slowly rolled away. The old man's body slumped in the chair. There was a stunned silence.
'He was irritating me.' Brogan smiled broadly at the others.
'Well done thickhead, did you think to ask him where the book was before you killed him? Or how we get out of his illusion?' Mia glared at him.
'Er.' Brogan shuffled his feet then perked up again and put his hand in the fire, fishing Jenni out and placing her gently on the floor.
'How did you do that?' Fourteen was amazed and slightly suspicious.
'Six times out of ten.' Brogan held out one of his amulets.
Ned reached up to the rafters and plucked the book down. He shoved it into Joe's arms then knelt down by Jenni's prone form. He stroked her hair. 'You can't leave me now Jen, I need you. Who else will see me through this alive?' he whispered.
'I ain't going nowhere, Boss. Momma K'd kill me.' Jenni grinned without opening her eyes. She still felt somewhat discombobulated.
'Well, that's alright then.' Ned fought the urge to kiss the sprite on the forehead. He felt she might not appreciate it and there was a good chance of catching something.
Everyone was milling. That thing that happens when no-one is sure what to say or what to do. The hut seemed small, dark and claustrophobic with everyone inside. Ned went through the door to the outside and inhaled the fresh air deeply. The forest was gone, the hut was on sandy beach. The beach was a small strip
on a rocky base. In fact the whole island looked smaller and less green.
'Illusion's broke then,' remarked Jenni, opening her eyes.
'What now?' Joe was fingering the grimoire uneasily.
'Now we pop out of here – right? I mean the illusionist is gone isn't he? So we can get off this rock?' Mia was sounding slightly hysterical. Ned eyed her suspiciously.
Jenni popped out and then came back grinning. 'Yep, we can move, but I can't take us far. Too many. I can manage nearest mainland.' She swivelled and fixed Mia with an evil grin. 'And you need lockin' up again.' There was a blast of power that knocked Mia to her rump. She scowled at the sprite and muttered a string of curses under her breath.
Ned felt a mixture of alarm and relief. The last thing he needed was an unstable warlock armed with her powers, plotting behind his back. It was bad enough he had an unstable warlock. He was not entirely sure which side she was on. Her father had coerced her into doing some terrible things but most people had a moral line they wouldn't cross. Torture, murder and total destruction of villages would be way past it for most people. Trouble was, Mia wasn't most people.
'Everyone hold hands, let's do this!' Jenni was smiling hugely. The group formed into a loose circle easily enough but the hand holding was a little awkward. Ned jumped when Fourteen slipped her hand into his and groaned inwardly as Willow took the other side - he could feel attraction for her grow unasked for, thanks to physical touch. He tried to look nonchalant. Joe zipped in and took Willow's other hand, making himself blush and stuck his hand out for Mia but Jenni took it and attached herself to Mia instead. Mia looked a little green around the edges but clung on to Brogan's paw with a certain death grip which put Brogan standing next to Fourteen. He looked a little unsure. She was, after all, royalty. Barbarians and royalty do not, as a rule, get on too well. But Fourteen smiled sweetly up at him and placed her hand within his. Brogan grinned and Ned felt a flare of jealousy whip through him. He tried to ignore it, mentally calling himself a fool but couldn't help glaring at the hulking brute.