“When are you going to stop? You’re destroying yourself, Josie!” Brooke chastises throwing a short, long sleeved dress and a jean jacket on the bed. The dress is blue and it’s off the shoulder so it’s super sexy but classy.
“He told me he was going to leave me if I kept pushing him away,” I say, getting choked up again. I put my hand on my mouth because I feel like I might vomit. I close my eyes and try to calm my anxiety.
“He won’t leave you, dummy. He was just trying to hurt you back.”
“It doesn’t matter. The fact that he said that…. I don’t know if I can handle that, Brooke.”
“So what did you tell him, then? Did you tell him that you don’t want a life without him?” I look away and pull one of my pillows to cover my face. She sighs and rebukes me again, “Well then, that’s your own damn fault.”
“I told him that he should leave. That I didn’t want him,” I mumble from behind my pillow. I feel the bed sag when she sits next to me.
“Ugh Josie…. You never learn, do you? You push everyone away, and Seth loves you more than anyone.”
“That’s the problem! I can’t let myself love him, because if I do, I’ll just hurt him.”
“You’re clueless, Josie... Put those clothes on. We’re still going out. And please for the love of baby Santa, fix your damn hair and make-up.””
I comply even though I feel like shit. Brooke’s pregnant, which means she is extra bossy and always gets her way. I could use a drink, anyway. I get into Brooke’s SUV and see Brandon and Brody in the backseats. Brody winks at me, and I roll my eyes. His shoulder length black hair is loose and so very sexy when he weaves his fingers through it to get it out of his face. He’s wearing dress slacks and a dress shirt, portraying every bit of the CEO, business owner he is.
The guy is weird…. But definitely hot. And sweet, actually.
We go to Thumper’s even though I tell Brooke we shouldn’t. She may not be able to drink, but even without alcohol she enjoys the bar atmosphere. The crowd isn’t overbearing since our town isn’t very large, but there is definitely more of a crowd tonight than there is during the week. There’s a crappy DJ at the front of the room, and there is an eclectic mix of individuals dancing. While Brooke and I find ourselves a booth by the pool table, Brandon and Brody get us all drinks. Soda and cheese fries for Brooke, of course. She talked about cheese fries the whole way here.
I welcome the burn of the Southern Comfort shot, and then sip on my cranberry vodka. I can already feel it numbing some of the hurt in my heart. We sit and catch up while I drink the pain away. Brody is back in town for the week, but has to go back to Pennsylvania afterward. He doesn’t explain why he’s back, but he and Brandon share a knowing glance that makes me think they have something going on.
Brody asks if I want to play some pool since Brandon and Brooke are making out like teenagers across the booth, and I agree. It’s not gross, it’s just that I want to be making out with a certain person, and I can’t have him.
I freeze in my tracks while walking to the pool table when I spot a familiar sandy blonde head leaning against the wall, talking to someone. He’s got a beer in one hand, and his other hand is resting on the hip of the smaller figure. He leans into her ear and says something. I can’t tell from this distance if it’s intimate or because it’s too loud in here, but my mind is screaming that he’s about to fuck this bitch.
I watch as Seth kisses Alayna on her cheek, before she walks away with a big smile and buoyant bounce to her step. It’s a little warm and familiar, they definitely have some kind of history. Fury burns its way through my blood as I pin them both with glares that reflect how badly I want to harm them. Seth starts to turn his head in my direction, but I turn away before he can see me.
The pain. Oh my god, the pain. It’s too much. I don’t want him with anyone else. I don’t want him to leave me. I don’t want to lose him. I want to love him. I want him to love me.
It’s a dangerous game, but any maturity that I’ve tried to learn in the last couple of years flies out of the window. I march up to Brody who is watching my reaction with a shrewd smirk on his face, and I grab his shirt. I pull him down to my mouth and kiss him. He gets what I’m trying to do because he smiles against my lips and wraps his arm around my waist.
“You’re going to get me punched for this,” he murmurs before I slip my tongue into his mouth. I put my hands in his hair and kiss him the way I want to kiss Seth. It’s nice. No fireworks, obviously, but he’s definitely a good kisser. I push my body harder against his and enjoy the contact.
I kind of get lost in the kiss, liking the heated contact with someone. My deprivation of any contact with Seth or any other man makes me eager to keep enjoying the kiss. I don’t get to delight in it for too much longer because I’m being ripped away by a familiar, rough strong hand. I see an arm covered in tattoos wrap around the front of my body, and am torn away from Brody’s hold. I smirk and look up into Brody’s honey brown eyes.
“You’re a good kisser,” I tell him haughtily, while being tugged away. The alcohol must be changing my once thought-out behavior into something reckless and stupid. I love it.
“Shut the fuck up, Josie,” Seth growls against my ear. He turns me around to push me toward the exit, and then turns back to Brody. “I’ll come back for you,” Seth promises dangerously.
I turn around and mouth “Sorry” to him before I’m being pushed again out the door. Seth pulls my arm until we’re behind the building, covered by a tree so we’re concealed from any nosey drunk assholes.
“What the fuck do I have to do, Josie?” he yells at me, running his hand through his hair. There’s so much grievance, hurt, and outrage emanating in the few feet between us, a vibe coming from both of our bodies. “I’ve given you the space you asked for! I’ve been your friend. I’ve shown you repeatedly that I’m crazy about you… So what else? What am I missing?”
“How about not fuck some other girl when you just were promising me that you loved me!”
“She’s gay! She has no interest in me!”
“But do you have interest in her?” I ask arrogantly, putting my hand on my hip.
“No! I’ve had my eyes on this one girl who doesn’t give me the time of fucking day!”
“Then why’d you kiss her?”
“Why did you kiss him!?” he thunders. I shrug and turn my face away. Inside, I feel the power of his voice tremble through my blood, begging entrance into my soul, but I have to keep a strong front even if I can feel it crumbling right before my eyes.
“I felt like it.” I feel him walk up to me angrily, but don’t shy away from his serious demeanor.
“Stop being a bitch, Josie!” I turn my head and gawk at him, totally shocked by his words. It was like a slap in the face. A slap into reality. “Don’t look so fucking surprised. You’re being a bitch on purpose. Stop it. Stop fucking hiding. Be fucking real with me for one goddamn minute, and stop pretending like nothing affects you!”
“I was jealous… okay! Happy?” I scream, letting go of my inhibitions. I’m so worn out. So tired of pretending. So weary from the pain that I go through every day I keep myself from being happy. I’m done. He starts toward me, and there’s a look of accomplishment sparkling in his eyes. “I didn’t want you touching her.”
He saunters up to me until his chest is pressing against mine, the contact making breathing impossible. He keeps walking, backing me up against the tree with the force of his body, but also with intensity discernible in his eyes. Once he has me pinned with nowhere to escape, he grabs my hand and raises it above my head. The feel of his hands, rough and forceful on my wrist makes me dizzy with an invigorating need that shoots a severe shock to the tender spot between my legs.
He pushes my wrist against the bark, then slides the underside of his hand down the length of my arm, and then down my side. His fingertips leave a trail of electricity that energize my body, making me hum with pleasure.
“Who should I
be touching then, Jos?” Seth asks jaggedly, eyes trained on mine so he doesn’t miss a single reaction. I can still see his anger in how he holds himself, but I also see an arcane and virile lust raging combat in his eyes. With one hand still pinning my wrist to the tree, he brings his other back up and repeats the same slow torture down my side.
“No answer? What’s wrong? You almost look like you’re feeling something…” There’s a dark sarcasm dripping in every word he speaks. It’s a fucking turn on. My panties are already wet from the way he’s touching me, looking at me, and speaking to me.
“But that can’t be right,” he continues, tone deep and intimidating. “Because you don’t feel anything for me… you push me the fuck away, and tell me that you don’t want me. That I’m fucking nothing to you.”
This time when he reaches my hip, he grips it roughly. My legs shake from being so turned on, and my knees buckle slightly, making me unstable on my feet. His breath brushes against my face, smelling like beer and Winterfresh, scents that spike my cravings even higher. He pushes his knee between my legs, so I have more support and don’t fall to the ground. The movement brings him even closer to me, and brings me closer to relieving some of the pressure I’m feeling.
A whimper leaves my mouth and I roll my eyes to the back of my head as I move my hips forward so I can get some friction against my mound. The second I feel a microscopic sense of respite, it’s taken away when Seth moves his knee away so I can’t reach.
“So who should I be touching, Pussy Cat?” he asks again, bringing his knee back in for me to lean on. And again, he moves it away once I push my hips out to rub against him. The tiniest and darkest smirk plays on the corner of his mouth, as he watches my suffering. I’ve never seen anything so sexy in my life. Bringing his head down to my cheek, he leaves a breaths distance between his lips and my skin, making me pant as his lips flutter across my cheek until he reaches my ear.
“Since you don’t want me, I could go through a whole list of other girls I can touch. I’m sure since you feel nothing for me that you won’t mind…,” he says coarsely, implication clear. I don’t want that, but I can’t speak. My mouth is dry and there’s pain clogging my chest from the horror of what he just suggested and from the tension trying to break free inside of me.
I bring my free arm up to touch his chest, but the hand he had gripping my waist darts out and grabs it. He pins it above my head, overlapping my other hand. Holding both of my hands in one grip, be brings his other hand back down to grab my chin forcefully.
“You don’t get to touch me. Not until you’re honest with me.” His voice is gruff with indignation and desire. My eyes widen and a small gasp of surprise escapes my lips. I never expected this from Seth, but his determination and rage escalate my yearning and thaw my once obstructed heart.
He lets go of my chin, but keeps his eyes locked on mine. His finger runs across my collar bone, a movement that always makes me break out in goose bumps. I shudder under him, and am graced once again with another taunting smirk. “I can start with Becca, she would probably like it when I touch her here.” His hand runs down my cleavage, brushing his thumb against the side of one of my breasts.
“No,” I plead softly. He had been looking at my cleavage, but as soon as I speak, his head shoots up and he pierces me with a powerful look.
“Then who? Let’s start talking… You talk and I’ll show you how to feel.”
Chapter 16
Seth
Who knew that a game of jealously could spark the change needed to get Josie to start opening up?
With my knee between her legs, I lean in and push my rock hard erection against her thigh. A rush of air leaves her mouth and she moans. She’s sexy as fucking hell, especially when she’s not trying as hard to hide the way I make her feel. I’m determined to make her open up, and I use the ire that’s been building up these last three months and the fury of seeing her make out with another man influence my actions.
“Those aren’t words,” I tell her pointedly, and pull away again. “Julia would like that for sure, I could hit her up.”
She narrows her eyes, and I watch her frustration spiral behind her pretty eyes.
“No,” she says again, but with more force. I push my chest harder and bring my face back down to hers.
“Then who the fuck do you want me to touch, Josie? Tell me!”
She breaks eye contact, and looks over my shoulder.
“Me…,” she admits in the softest voice. I push my hips into her hard, grabbing her chin again so she looks at me.
“Louder,” I demand. I’m not going to give her any opportunity to go back on her word. I won’t let her shy her way out of what she’s telling me. She will beg me. She will tell me how she feels and what she wants loudly and clearly, so she can’t ever hide from it ever again.
“I want you to touch me… only me,” she says, eyes focused on mine. There we go. I press my knee up to put pressure on her hot pussy to reward her for opening up.
“Why did you kiss him?” I ask through gritted teeth. I couldn’t believe that she would stoop so fucking low to hurt me. I’m not just pissed at the prick who kissed her back, I’m fucking pissed at Josie.
She looks away when I ask, so I take my knee away. I press her wrists harder against the bark of the tree, but make sure to soothe them by rubbing my thumb across her skin. “That’s not how this fucking works, Josie. No more of your fucking mind games. I’m done. I ask you a question, and I give you what you want when you answer…. So, why the fuck did you kiss him?”
I’ve never been this forceful with Josie before, I’ve always given her exactly what she wanted. Whatever that girl wished for, I did it. Every time she and I had sex, I never took it too far, I was gentle and I was careful.
But now I’m fucking enraged. I plan on fucking every ounce of vindictiveness out of her, until she has no more walls blocking us from being together.
There it is. I see regret flash in her eyes. That’s a start.
“I saw you kiss Alayna, and I was jealous. I wanted to get you back, and that’s the first thing I thought of.”
I believe her, so I bring my face to her neck and lick her while I bring my knee back up for her to rub against. I groan as I feel the heat of her cover my knee. She grinds against me and she opens her neck more. I place my tongue on her collar bone and graze my teeth along the bone. She shivers under me, and I feel a surge of pleasure when I taste the chills splayed on her smooth skin. Sexiest thing ever.
I move my hand to the hem of her dress and grab her thigh.
“Why were you jealous?” I ask, pulling my lips away from her skin. She moans as she continues to try and find her release against my knee.
“Because… I don’t want you with anyone else.” Her answer is too vague. I pull my hand and knee away from her. I take a step back and give her a look that expresses my lack of patience. I let go of her hands and grab her waist, turning her around so she’s facing the tree. I glance around and make sure that we are alone, and then push my body against hers. Her hands reach out to brace herself against the tree while I lean into her.
“That’s not good enough, Josie.” Her hair is loose and long down her back, and my hand is burning to touch it. I wrap some of her hair around my wrist, and pull it to the side so she opens up her neck to me. I unwrap my hand and my fingers reach up to grip some of her hair closer to her scalp.
She purrs in satisfaction while I rub my nose against her neck. She smells so fucking good with my scent on her. I’m going to devour this girl. I place my lips on her nape, but I don’t move them. I feel her tense up in anticipation, but I need an answer before I continue.
“Tell me exactly why you were jealous.” I remain still until she speaks.
“Because I want to be the one you touch,” she whispers. I moan as I lick her neck, tasting like vanilla and sex.
“We’ve established that you want me to touch you. I need more.” I wrap one arm around her stomach and trail my o
ther hand up her thigh. I reach the bottom of her dress, and still my hand from going any further. “Stop hiding, Josie. Tell me what you feel. Why were you jealous? Why do you want me to touch you?”
“Because I want you. I want to be with you,” she says looking back at me. Her eyes are needy and genuine, and her breath is ragged. I push my hips against her ass showing her just how much I want to be with her, too. Grabbing the hem of her dress, I pull it up so her perfectly round ass is right in front of me, only a tiny blue thong in the way.
“Mmmm…. So sexy,” I whisper hoarsely. I run my hand over her backside, palming and kneading it in my hand. Pushing the arm on her stomach, I force her hips to come out more to me so I can see that ass in its full glory. Josie shakes against me, and I see her unsteady on her feet. I lean down and lick her plump figure before biting it, comforting it with my tongue after. The red mark against her flawless skin turns me on even more. She gasps and lets out a loud moan.
Bringing my head back up to hers, I look into her eyes, laden with lust and completely trusting me. I watch her as I slip my finger under the string of her thong and follow it until it reaches her wet hole. I feel her excitement instantly, and I haven’t even put my fingers in her. My cock throbs from needing her so badly, needing to be inside of her and making her mine. My breath is as uneven as hers, and I feel like I won’t ever be able to breathe right again after this. I’ve never been so turned on.
“Why do you want me, Josie?” I ask softly. I keep my eyes on hers and watch as I break away the final wall surrounding her soul.
“Because I’m in love with you,” she whispers, tears in her eyes.
It doesn’t solve all of our problems. It doesn’t mean that things will be easy from now on. But it’s the single best sentence I have ever heard in my life, and I will make sure to cherish those words for the rest of my existence. I’ll make sure to work harder than any other person has ever had to work in order to keep her from regretting saying that to me. I’ll make sure to do everything I can to hear that sentence every day for the rest of my life.
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