Damaged Hope

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Damaged Hope Page 25

by L. K. Hill


  Shaun nodded. “Good. I have a mountain of shit to wade through. You staying here again tonight?” That last statement, he directed at Gabe.

  “If it’s okay with you. I brought my laptop,” Gabe motioned toward a briefcase he’d set down by the door as soon as he’d entered. “I can work from here while she sleeps. I’ll route all my calls, including dispatch, directly to my cell.”

  Kyra slid her eyes toward him, noting how he avoided her gaze, keeping it firmly on Shaun instead. “You found a new body tonight, didn’t you?” she asked quietly.

  Gabe threw her a guarded look. “How did you know?”

  She shrugged. “I saw police lights when Dellaire and I were heading back. I had a feeling. Another working girl?”

  Gabe sighed. “Yeah. With another key in her throat that leads nowhere.” Bitterness tinged his voice, and Kyra's heart went out to him. It must be frustrating to see these girls dying day after day and not be able to stop it.

  “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. He looked at her and their eyes locked.

  Shaun cleared his throat. “Call me if you need me.”

  Gabe cleared his throat. “I will. Same.”

  Shaun nodded and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

  Gabe immediately moved to sit beside Kyra on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. Kyra pulled her hands into her chest, hunched her shoulders and cuddled into his embrace, resting her face in his shoulder.

  “I am sorry, Kyra,” he said quietly.

  She pulled back and gazed into his face. “You’re sorry I won’t be going out into the Mire as Supra anymore?”

  “Mmmmm, no. Not at all.”

  She fought a smile.

  “I’m sorry about Sadie, first off. I can tell you care about her. Maybe with time, she'll come around."

  Kyra shrugged. She doubted it.

  "And I'm sorry the Josie angle went bad. I know how hard you’ve worked, what you’ve gone through. Why it's…important…to you.”

  Kyra shrugged. He was the only one in the world who did. “You were right. From the beginning, it was only a matter of time before it all went south. I just thought I'd accomplish more before it did.”

  He studied her speculatively. “Don’t take this the wrong way. You don’t seem as upset as I would have thought.”

  She studied the open collar of his polo shirt for a minute, running a fingernail across one of the buttons as an excuse to feel the firm muscle underneath. “You're right. I’m not.”

  Understanding came into his eyes. “Because of what Dellaire said. You have hope of finding Manny another way, so you’re not upset about losing Supra.” His tone said he approved.

  “No,” Kyra frowned. “Well, yes. What Dellaire said gives me hope. That’s not what I meant. Gabe,” she leaned away from him, straightening her spine.

  Gabe’s arms relaxed around her, sliding away so he didn't hold her so tightly but they lingered at her waist. He made no move to pull away. Good. She wanted him close. A trembling in her stomach made her hesitate. After all this time, it surprised her that the butterflies fluttered so violently.

  “Before coming to Abstreuse, I told myself, no matter what, I needed to keep my eye on my goal: finding Manny.”

  He nodded.

  “Even before I arrived, I knew it would be difficult. I knew I’d get to a point where I got sick of it, and would want to give up. No matter what I felt, I couldn't, for Manny’s sake. Surprisingly, that didn’t happen. I didn’t get bored, or burnt out. I'm good at it, Gabe. Good at blending in, meeting people in the Mire, being one of them.”

  Gabe gave her a skeptical look. “That's not as true as you think it is, Kyra. Remember what Sadie said about you standing out.”

  “True,” she admitted. “Maybe they didn't trust me. Didn’t like me. Knew I was different. But the more time I spent there, the more they accepted me, despite not understanding me. Even Josie gave me a job against his better judgement.”

  Gabe frowned, but nodded.

  “My point is,” she went on, “none of the things I thought would distract me did. In the end, it was you.”

  He met her gaze, his eyes boring into hers, and her heart stopped briefly in her chest. When it started again, she felt weak and too warm.

  “I never let myself feel anything for you. I mean, I did, but denied it, kept it on the periphery. If I let myself feel, I was afraid I wouldn’t be as driven to look for Manny anymore. I wouldn’t want to be in the Mire. There's nothing desirable there. I’d want to be with you.”

  She dared a glance at him and found him arching an eyebrow. He looked pleased though.

  “And now?” he blinked.

  “I don’t know what will happen now, Gabe. I may still do…stupid, dangerous things to find Manny.” Gabe rolled his eyes and leaned away from her. “I’m not giving up on him,” she insisted. He didn’t look at her.

  “Tonight, Josie nearly killed me.”

  Gabe didn’t move but she felt him tense.

  “I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s the truth. If not for Dellaire, I'd be dead.”

  He still didn’t meet her gaze, but she saw enough of his eyes to register pain there.

  “Gabe,” she turned his chin toward her with an index finger, forcing him to look at her. “Not once, during those seconds when I truly thought this was the end for me, did I think of Manny. I didn’t think of the fact that I'd failed him. Failed to save him. I didn’t think of my parents or family, or how cruel it would be for them to lose two children to this city. Didn't think about how I would simply disappear. Like Manny, and Dillon. I didn’t consider that I’d have put a lot of people I care about through hell for no reason. With no result.” Her voice broke and she stopped.

  Gabe gazed at her steadily. He swallowed.

  “None of that went through my mind,” she managed, once she’d regained control of her voice. “It should have, but it didn’t.”

  Gabe merely gazed at her, obviously waiting for her to continue.

  “I thought of you. Only you. How much I wanted to see you. How much I wished you were there.”

  Gabe swiftly reached an arm around her waist and scooped her into his lap. She straddled his thighs and gripped his shoulders as he pressed his forehead against hers.

  “How much I wished I hadn’t pushed you away. Wished I’d told you what I felt for you, but was too afraid to say. Because of Chris, and the killer, and Manny. And…me.”

  Tears slid down her cheeks, now. Gabe kissed her forehead, kissed away the tears on each cheek. When he kissed her mouth, she tasted the salt from her own tears on his tongue. Whatever else she’d wanted to say slid from her mind like oil. She kissed him back with abandon.

  Gabe fell slowly onto his back, pulling her on top of him, then rolled over. His bodyweight on top of her felt intoxicating. He kissed a trail down her neck. Admitting to herself how much she liked it, she dug her fingernails into his shirt. Sliding her hands down his back, she tugged at the hem.

  He sat up on his knees and pulled his shirt, along with the one white t-shirt underneath, over his head. He tugged at the hem of hers as well and she sat up, allowing him to slide it up over her arms.

  Twining her wrists around his neck, she pulled him close, gripping his waist with her knees. She wanted to feel his flesh against hers.

  His skin meeting hers felt like a flash of fire. It bulled its way into her blood, setting her veins alight. Her pulse pounded in her ears.

  Gabe laid her down on the bed again, kissing her deeply. She ran her hands down the smooth muscle of his back as his hands and lips explored her. He trailed warm, wet kisses over her shoulders, across her chest, and down to her stomach.

  Kyra froze. She’d forgotten her scar until he hesitated. She sat up on her elbows to find him staring at the ugly word, carved in white, raised tissue across her stomach. His large, warm hands gently gripped either side of her waist, and he ran his thumbs lightly over the scar.r />
  Coming from anyone else, it would have mortified her. This felt tender, more intimate than anything they’d done thus far.

  Gabe looked up at her, their eyes locking. She felt utterly calm. Peaceful, even. Gabe ducked his head and kissed his way across the scar. Tears formed in Kyra’s eyes and she drew a shuttering breath, running her fingers into his hair and gripping it at the crown. Heat replaced the tears as his mouth moved over her abdomen, his hands griping her hips.

  He made his way back to her lips again. Cupping her face in one hand, he gazed into her eyes before kissing her again, his fingers fumbling at the button on her jeans.

  The rest of the night slipped away in ecstasy.

  Chapter 20

  Kyra awoke alone in the bed. The tapping of computer keys from near the window told her she wasn’t alone. Gabe worked on his laptop. She stretched and sat up. A robe—the complimentary kind supplied by the hotel—lay across the foot of the bed. She rose and slipped her arms into it, cinching it at the waist.

  Gabe’s back had been to her while he punched buttons on his computer. He turned when he heard her. He was dressed and looked freshly showered.

  “Morning," he grinned.

  “Morning,” she replied, laughing sheepishly.

  He stood and they met in the middle of the small room. He kissed her softly, fingers sliding into her hair. She wrapped her arms around his middle and snuggled against his chest.

  “I got you some breakfast,” he murmured against the top of her head.

  Even as he said it, the smell of bacon wafted to her and her stomach rumbled menacingly. A fast food bag sat on the table beside a small bottle of juice.

  “Thought you’d need some heavy duty calories to recuperate.”

  She gazed up at him and grinned, feeling mischievous. "From what? Josie's actions…or yours?"

  He smirked at her, and she thought she detected blossoms of color in his cheeks. “Just eat,” he said.

  She crossed to the bag and flicked it open. A breakfast sandwich and fried hash brown. Not her favorite, but she felt too famished to care.

  “Kyra?”

  She turned. “Yeah.”

  He shut his laptop and wound the cord around his hand. “You said last night you’d stay put for a while. A few days at least. Maybe a few weeks. Did you mean it?”

  She frowned, turning fully toward him. “Yes. Why?”

  “I have to leave town for a few days.”

  “Oh. Where to?”

  He heaved a sigh. “Sit.”

  Leaving the food, she sat beside him on the bed. He explained about Hammond being interrogated, how he spoke in code. They'd figured a few things out, and thought the ranch Cora located might be the one he’d been kept on.

  Kyra heard the stress in Gabe's voice as he talked. Saw how it deepened the lines of his face. “So,” she said, “You don’t know anything else about it? Who’s living out there? Nothing at all?”

  He shook his head. “There may not be anyone. It’s far out in the desert. No telephone. No internet. It may be completely abandoned. Probably will be. Then again, the same man who took Dillon also took Hammond as a child. Hammond's still alive.”

  “Gabe,” Kyra said quickly. She feared this line of thinking would lead to something dangerous. He looked askance at her. “If you’re thinking your brother is alive out on this ranch—”

  “I’m not,” he said quietly. “I’ve long accepted the fact that Dillon is dead. Even if I didn’t, Hammond said it. Dillon died at some point.” His voice hardened at the end. He’d obviously forced his way through the sentence with sheer determination.

  Kyra took his hands. “I’m sorry.”

  He squeezed her hands gently and took a deep breath. “It’s okay,” he said softly in his normal voice. “I’ll admit it rocked me more than I would've thought to hear it, but it’s not a surprise.” He cleared his throat. “What I'm thinking is, if this is the right place—and it’s still an 'if' at this point—Dillon might be buried out there. Along with other victims.”

  Understanding flooded into Kyra’s chest. “Are you taking anyone with you?”

  He frowned. “I’ll be going in with a contingent of cops. Local ones.”

  “No, what I mean is…I can go with you, if you want.”

  He shook his head. Still holding her hands, he brought them to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I appreciate the offer, more than I can tell you. It’s best I go alone, though. We don’t know what we’ll find out there. If there’s people, it might be dangerous. If graves, it’ll be a major crime scene. If nothing, it won’t matter anyway. Besides, with everything that’s happened the past few days, there's no way Shaun will clear you to go. You need to rest and recuperate.”

  Kyra nodded reluctantly, wishing she had more arguments for going with him. Since this was about his brother, she felt like she needed to tread carefully here.

  "That's gonna be rough, Gabe. No matter what you…." She trailed off, afraid she sounded insensitive. Then, softly she asked, "What do you think you'll find?"

  He glanced away, as though considering the question. After a moment, he shook his head. "I don't know. I guess I haven't allowed myself to think one way or the other," he said. "I'll know when I get there, though. I think if my brother is out there, I'll feel it."

  Kyra nodded.

  "Kyra," he rubbed his thumbs across the backs of her hands. "When I get back, things will be different." He met her eyes, looking sincere.

  "How do you mean?" she asked.

  "I hope I find Dillon's body out there. As difficult as it will be…" he trailed off, and she could tell he fought his emotions.

  "It will finally give you closure," she said quietly, and he nodded.

  "If I find him, the first thing I'll do when I return is lay my brother to rest. Then I'll help you find Manny."

  Kyra raised an eyebrow at him. He'd never offered it so directly before.

  "Whatever it takes," he said. "Maybe I can take some time off work—"

  "You don't have to, Gabe," she said quickly.

  He shrugged, looking down at their clasped hands. "Maybe it won't be necessary. Especially if your PI friend can find him in the mob. Regardless, this doesn't have to be you, undercover, by yourself." He heaved another sigh and gripped her hands more tightly, still looking at them rather than her. "I want to be with you." He raised his eyes to hers. "Do you want that?"

  She nodded.

  "We both need to move on from this. From our brothers. From all this trauma. I'm saying, we'll find your brother together. You won't have to do this alone anymore."

  Kyra swallowed past the lump in her throat. She reached forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, pressing his face into her neck. "Thank you," she whispered. She pulled back and kissed him softly on the mouth. They embraced for another minute before letting go.

  “I need to get to work," Gabe said. "I told Cora I was on my way twenty minutes ago.”

  “When do you leave for this ranch?”

  “Tonight. I’ll swing by and see you again before I do. Shouldn’t be gone more than two or three days. I’ll keep in touch,” he held up his phone.

  She nodded. “You’d better.”

  He smiled. “You really should sleep today.”

  “Oh, believe me, I intend to.”

  He smiled again. “Good.”

  He kissed her and rose to finish cleaning up his computer. She watched him with a pang of sadness.

  His phone rang. He swore softly. “Probably Cora again.” He pulled it out of his pocket and held it up triumphantly. “Yup. Hello. Yeah. Of course I’ve already left. I’m nearly there. See you in a minute.”

  Kyra suppressed a giggle.

  He hung up and grinned at her.

  She laughed. “Say hi to Cora for me.”

  Two minutes later, with a final wave over his shoulder, he left the hotel room.

  Kyra attacked her breakfast, gulping down the food in record time and givin
g herself hiccups. She drank half the orange juice in one gulp and took a deep breath, waiting for her brain to catch up to her full stomach.

  She glanced at her phone, which sat on the bedside table. Before falling back into bed, she wanted to call Phil. He still hadn't gotten back to her. Probably wouldn't answer this time of morning—he never did—but she could leave him another message.

  She crossed the room, picked up her phone and dialed his number. It rang once, twice, three times. Kyra waited patiently for the voice mail to kick in.

  Click. "Hello?"

  Kyra gaped. "Ph-Phil. You answered."

  "Kyra," Phil heaved an exhausted-sounding sigh. "I'm so sorry I haven't gotten back to you. My week has been hell."

  Kyra's stomach clenched with worry. "Everything okay?"

  "Fine. Just…hell. I've been glad to get your messages."

  "Why?"

  "Because it told me you hadn't gotten yourself killed yet."

  Kyra rolled her eyes. "Oh."

  "And I'm doubly sorry because I don't have a definitive answer for you about Manny."

  Kyra sat down cross-legged on the hotel bed. "I kinda figured something was up when you didn't call. Tell me."

  "I've talked to my contact several times. Naturally things are proving more complicated than I thought."

  "Naturally."

  "He didn't know of anyone by Manny's description. Of course, Manny may have changed how he looks."

  "Like dyed his hair?" Kyra asked.

  "Yes, for an example. So I texted my contact a photo of Manny. He didn't recognize him. The next part was a gamble. He showed the photo to a few people, asking if anyone knew him. If he shows it to the wrong person, it might mean his life."

  Kyra swallowed. "And?"

  "He found someone who knew Manny. Not personally, but by reputation. She called him Spurious Guise."

  "Is that a real name?"

  "Doubtful. That's the point. Manny's not using his real name. The woman my contact spoke to couldn't be sure this man is Manny. She'd only met him once and thought she saw a resemblance. My contact has never met this Spurious guy. He needs to get a look at him."

 

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