Punishment (Light My Fire Series Book #2)

by Alexa Phoenix

  “They don’t know. He had a concussion and just slipped into a slight coma, or something like that.” Johnson just stared back lifeless at me in the bed.

  The monitors continued to beep as they watched my vulnerable self fight for my life.

  “Does everyone know yet?” Philips questioned, unsure of whether to make some phone calls down to the station.

  Shit. Phoenix. No one knows we are together. No one knows to call her. How will they give her the news? She will be worried sick.

  “Nah, we kept it kind of quiet when they first brought him here, because they assumed he would be released hours later, and then he slipped.” Johnson’s voice was stern, but I could hear the worry in his words.

  “So, what do we do?” Monti asked. “Why hasn’t anyone made any calls yet?”

  “Well, we tried to call his ex-wife, Carolyn, but she’s not answering. I guess he mentioned something last week to Williams about her going to Washington or something for the week. Some business thing for her boyfriend, I believe. No one has any contact information other than her cell.”

  “Shit.” Monti bowed his head.

  That’s right, Carolyn’s away. No one’s going to know I’m gone.

  “Well, why don’t we call Williams again, maybe she knows something more she never mentioned. Or maybe we could have her swing bye the station in his office and try to find contact info for her. We gotta do something man! If he’s in a fucking coma who knows what’s going to happen to him!” Phillips voice was stressed.

  The words coma stabbed me in the heart. Coma? When? How? How the fuck do you come out of a coma? Am I going to die? I thought of all the times I’ve heard of accounts of people in comas. Some were hours, some days or months or years, or never. Please don’t be never I begged in my mind.

  Never.

  Words I dreaded.

  I never wanted to hurt Phoenix ever, and right after we commit to our relationship this happens. Why? Why must life challenge us so much? Why can’t we just be happy and healthy and live a normal life? I felt weak in my statements. I was stronger than this. I will be stronger than this. I will not let this come between us. I will not let this end us. I will come out of this. I just need her here with me. I need her next to me to feel her soft hands on my body and her sweet words in my ear.

  What is happening?

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  -Phoenix-

  Things couldn’t be more perfect. Everything was going to be perfect tonight. It has to be. I want everything to be just right to tell the man I love the words out loud. I can’t believe I’m doing it. I can’t believe I’m ready.

  My life was a series of disappointments and challenges and for the first time, it what seemed like forever, it was perfect. Nothing could cease this moment in time for me. Nothing.

  My happiness was unreal.

  I thanked Roxy every day for her words that night that changed it all. If she didn’t push me to face my fear and to allow for someone to say the words he did and stay, I would have never found this place of perfection. I would have searched the rest of my life for what I would never have with someone else, or live a life of loneliness. Whichever came first I guessed.

  But now, I would never feel that fear again. I found what I needed. Fate, God, me, whatever brought this amazing man into my life. I thought of my mother for the moment and wished she found the same happiness that I felt. It pained me to know such a strong woman gave up life for the sake of others. For me and my father, my mother put aside her hopes and dreams and allowed us a unit. Fucked up or not, we were still a unit. It wasn’t always bad. There were moments of happiness were everything seemed normal, and then there were moments of extreme fear. Moments buried deep within my heart and mind that even Jaxson didn’t know of. I didn’t know if I ever wished for him to. I didn’t know if I wanted him to hold that pain in his heart like I do every day. That wasn’t fair for him either. I held that responsibility.

  I smiled as I hung up the beautiful dress I purchased earlier today and set aside the jewelry I picked out for tonight. I couldn’t wait to hope in the shower and get ready for a night that would change both our lives forever.

  I turned the knobs on high and let the shower works its magic steaming up the room. I tiptoed within its warmth and let the stream of water warm my body. Its presence felt relaxing and soothing on my aching body. Every now and then the build of the job would work on my muscles as a reminder of what I do every day. Today was one of those days. Something pained me. Something hurt. I tried to soothe its hold on me within the realms of the water’s pressure and its heat.

  My hair felt heavy as the water weighed it down. I washed myself with my favorite coconut body wash and felt clean and refreshed. I was almost ready to masturbate, when I stopped myself. I wanted my body untarnished today for our night. I wanted the first time I felt pleasure today to be from Jaxson after I repeated the words he was so free to say all those months before.

  I turned off the faucet and stepped out with my towel to dry my body from the water’s droplets left on me. My cell phone’s ringer echoed in other room.

  “Shit! It’s probably Jaxson!”

  I clenched the towel at my chest and ran to the other room to not miss his call. A unfamiliar number appeared on the screen.

  “Hello?” I answered inquisitively.

  “Phoenix?” A male voice asked. The voice sound familiar, but I couldn’t place who it was.

  “Yes? Who is this?”

  “It’s Monti, from the station.”

  “Oh, hey Monti. How’s it going? Everything alright?” I was unsure why he would call me.

  “Yes, well no. Um, the thing is-“

  “Spit it out! What’s wrong?” My heart pounded. I don’t know why, but something didn’t seem right. I could feel it.

  “It’s Captain Michaels.” Instant heart drop. I felt a sharp pain within my chest. I went clammy and my heart rate sped up instantly.

  “What about Captain Michaels?” My voice was stern yet strained. I tried to keep back tears as the fear and worried built up in my throat.

  “Well, we were trying to see if you knew anything more about his ex-wife or how to get a hold of her?”

  “Huh? You’re calling to ask me this because, why?”

  “Well, we heard you say something about his wife being out of town and we didn’t know if you knew any more information about her in regards to that?”

  “Why Monti? Spit it out! What’s going on?”

  “Well, I didn’t want to worry you for any reason. I wanted to talk to someone he was close to-“ The words instantaneously stung me, worse than I could have ever imagined. No one knew I was that someone, and for the first time, it hurt me more than anyone actually knowing what was going on between the two of us. I wanted to correct him right then and there, but I didn’t want to do something like that without his knowledge.

  “Just tell me what’s going on! Please!”

  “Ok, ok. He was a part of the fire at the school earlier and something happened.”

  “Fucking spit it out man!”

  “Damn, ok. Why are you getting so mad?”

  “I’m sorry.” I exhaled deep to calm my emotions. “Please just let me know what’s going on.”

  “He was hit by some metal beams that fell down on him and knocked him out unconscious.”

  “What?” I shot up, straight postured, my heart pounded to the extent that I thought it would come up out of my chest it hurt so bad and raced so fast.

  “Yes, and he’s slipped into a coma.”

  “A coma? What the fuck? How? What happened?”

  “I don’t know Williams. We just don’t know. But, will you get that information for me please?”

  “Yeah, yeah. Got it. Give me the hospital details. I’m on my way.”

  “It’s ok. You don’t have to come down. I’m sure the Captain wouldn’t want to worry you.”

  “Give me the damn details now, Monti!” I screamed.

  “O
k, ok. St. Martha’s downtown. Room 505 in ICU.”

  “I’ll be right there.”

  I walked to the kitchen and grabbed Carolyn’s information from the fridge and went into the bedroom. I changed as fast as I could, no makeup, no hair fixing. I threw my hair up into a pony tail, grabbed my purse and keys and ran out the door as fast as my legs would go.

  I left Carolyn two voicemails on both numbers Jaxson had for her and raced to the hospital.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  -Captain Michaels-

  I needed her. I wanted to see her. I didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t feel anything still. I tried to fight but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what I needed to do or how I needed to do it.

  Where is she?

  Why isn’t she here yet?

  Can she feel that something’s wrong?

  I prayed someone called her and she knew to come to me. I needed her more in this moment then I ever had before. I needed her faith and spirit to see me through this. I still couldn’t move. Doctors and nurses poked me every now and then as they checked my vitals and such. I feel like a doll with all the times I’ve been touched and moved and I just laid her lifeless. I felt weak in my fight. I needed her strength to guide me. I needed her. Just her. No one else.

  No one felt the passion between us like us. Hell, no one even knew of the passion between us.

  “Dr. Weston, what’s going on?” Johnson questioned.

  “Well, his vitals are good. So that’s a good sign. His heart rate is good and his brain function is progressive. He just needs to fight right now. He’s a strong man. We remember him well from the charity functions he put on every year. He’s a truly remarkable man within this community. I think we all just need to take some time and pray. I’ve seen some remarkable things through prayer. It’s always good to talk to them , too. Most time they can hear the things you are saying to them. It all helps”

  “Yes, sir. Thank you.” Johnson nodded.

  Dr. Weston grabbed his clip board and headed out the door. Chatter scattered through the room as each of the men from the department prayed for me. It was weird to hear it. I didn’t need prayer. I appreciated it no less. I just needed her. I knew what my mind and body needed to get out of these – whatever this was. All I could do was wait.

  It seemed like I was here for days. I prayed my time length within this bed, hooked up to these machines, and away from Phoenix wasn’t that long. I prayed that she would appear and everything would be ok. I prayed that we would survive this together. Hell, maybe I did some prayers of my own for this one.

  How can someone change you like she has changed me? She has made me warm up to another woman. She’s made me wish for a lifetime of laughs and surprises and everything that goes with being in a relationship. She has done that for me. There were woman before her after Carolyn, of course, but none of them meant anything. Anything. They didn’t provide me with any satisfaction or challenge me in any way. Hell, I got into their pants probably easier than I got into my own. But I needed that healing measure at the time when we first parted ways. I always assumed we would go back with one another, until she remarried.

  The pain I felt that day was worse than the pain from the day we originally ended things due to her affair. I still had hoped something would change and we would rekindle our love or something. That day ended those feelings forever. I hardened my heart and promised myself no one would ever get access to it again. I would never feel that pain from any woman, ever.

  Then, there she was. She was determined and set in her ways. She was the first woman that stroked my curiosity since Carolyn. She was going to be a challenge. I knew it from the beginning. I was ready for it. I was willing to give in to the challenge when she was ready. All I had to do was wait. And I did. I wasn’t going to ruin what she had with Blaine when they finally got together. I was not like that, especially not after Carolyn. I knew the pain I felt. I would never wish that upon either of them. She had to be ready. We both needed to be ready.

  Everything was perfect. Just like her.

  Now, all I needed was her here with me. I waited for her once again, like I did in the beginning.

  Chapter Thirty

  -Phoenix-

  Tears streamed down my face. Thank God I didn’t put any makeup on together. The process would have been ruined by the abundant amount of salted water that covered my puffy face. My eyes burned at the amount that I’ve released since I first heard the news. The car ride was about fifteen minutes. Every minute my heart hurt even more. I felt pressure like I’ve never felt prior in my life in those few moments. Pain weighed down on every inch of my body and soul.

  I prayed the whole car ride for his recovery. I prayed I could do something. I prayed for everything and anything I could think of that would allow Him to listen.

  My car screeched as I pulled into a parking spot. I nabbed my purse from the driver’s seat, locked the car and ran to the elevator. Moments felt like hours. I wondered how he was. What he looked like. I wondered if he was going to be able to hear me, or feel me. I had so many unanswered questions, and I had no way of knowing if anyone would be able to answer them for me.

  The hospital room was filled with most of the people in our crew. I looked past all of them and directed my attention right to him. He looked so weak sitting there. My heart felt heavy. Builders pressed against it in that moment. Tears streamed down my face again as I couldn’t control the pain. I couldn’t stop the hurt. I’ve felt hurt before but this was different. This was something else. This was unbearable.

  “Jaxson?” I ran to his side and grabbed his arm. I stared at the man I loved, with bruises and cuts all over his face and arms and a cast on one hand and a wrap on his ankle. Machines controlled parts of his breathing, and monitors checked all vitals. The sound was a constant reminder of his inability to control his life right now.

  “Fight baby, fight! What happened?” I cried out to him. I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care if everyone knew. I didn’t care how anyone felt. All eyes were on me and all my attention was on him.

  Him, who I wouldn’t live another day without.

  Him, who changed me in ways I didn’t know existed.

  Him, who loves me for me every day since the day we met.

  Him, who I loved back more than life itself.

  “How, baby? How? How could this happen?” I turned looking for answers. Everyone was so flabbergasted by the knowledge of our secret affair that no one could speak. “Please, tell me.” I begged.

  Johnson and Monti reiterated exactly what happened and my heart hurt with each sentence they spoke. My strong warrior, was weakened. I needed to give him strength. I needed to give him life. I needed to give him a reason to live.

  “How did he get into a coma? How? How does he get out?” I stared at them all for answers but no one had any to give, just blank faces and best wishes.

  “The doctor said he could come out at any time and for us to pray. It could help,” Monti suggested.

  I sulked at his response. Prayer? All I could do was pray? How medically helpful, I thought.

  “Can you guys give us a minute alone, please?” Tears continued to stream down my face. I couldn’t control my emotions. I couldn’t hide in our little bubble anymore. Everything was exposed. They vacated the room one by one, but before we were alone, Monti placed his hand on my shoulders. I looked up to him and he smiled and nodded. “Thank you,” I whispered. He trailed off into the hallway and it was just us. That’s how it was supposed to be – just us. Together. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

  “Oh, baby.” I cried, my head fell to his arms as the tears fell down freely. I sobbed at his incoherence. My heart was full of pain and sorrow. I stretched my arms to his face and rubbed it slightly as I stared up at the man I loved.

  Love.

  Something years ago, hell only months ago still, that I never knew existed. I never knew what it was or what it felt like. I only imagined the pain love brought. Pain is w
hat I felt today. Pain is what trigged tears to fall from my eyes and sobs from my mouth.

  “Baby, what happened? Please don’t leave me here like this. I beg you. Do whatever you have to do to come back to me. I can’t live my life without you anymore. Now that I know what life is like to be loved. I mean truly love. You opened me up. You.” I squeezed his hand. “You changed me. You gave me a reason to give in to what I feared and I dove deep into something that scared the living hell out of me. You showed me what it was to trust in something new and fearful. You showed me what a real man was like. What true love was like. You can’t leave me now you hear me!” I pleaded with him, one hand held his, while the other laid upon his stomach stretched. I felt disorientated and dizzy at the thought of losing him.

  “Jaxson, you can’t leave me, you hear? Please,” I begged once more. I had no idea if anything I was saying was getting through to him at all. It didn’t matter. I was gonna try no matter what to do anything to get through to him, for some type of change.

  His body moved lightly up and down as he breathed with the machine hooked up to him. He was so vulnerable before me. I wanted to cry continuously and sulk in my pain but I knew in his moment of weakness I needed to be strong for him.

  I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and straightened up my posture. I held his hand within both of mine clasped in my embrace and began to coach him. “You wake up now Jaxson Michaels, you hear me damn it. Tonight was supposed to be special. Tonight was supposed to be, well, I had it all planned out for us. For us, baby,” I squeezed his hand with mine again. “It’s not just you anymore. We have a home to go home to – together,” I whispered. ”I don’t know if you can hear me, but there’s so much I wanted to say to you tonight,” I huffed, saddened once again at the position the man I loved was in. “I guess I’ll tell you now. This is not how I pictured things though, let me tell you,” a laugh escaped from my lips as I tried to lighten the pain I felt. I had the most beautiful dress picked out for our evening, baby. I think, no, I know, you would have loved it.” A smile formed as I envisioned his reaction to seeing me all dolled up. Roxy and Curtis were so excited to see us since we hadn’t seen much of them. Well, not since Roxy officially moved out here last month. They both send their prayers. Oh, and Curtis says to get the fuck up. He said, and I quote,’don’t be a pussy. You have a hot bitch waiting for your stupid ass. Don’t disappoint her man.’ A simple laugh lightened my mood for the moment as I thought of Curtis’ conversation with me on the way over that made me feel a little better.