'Elizabeth, I'm so glad you're back safely! Not that I worried much during your absence, I have great trust in my brother's motives to keep you well-protected, but still, snow can be dangerous.'
Mr Wickham did not like to see the two of them intimate, and when Georgiana mentioned her brother, his open expression showed a fleeting look of pain. Somehow he really hated Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam being so much in love. Oh well, it had been his own choice to behave so miserably, Georgiana felt little empathy towards him. And why be sad? He had the most loving wife a man could ever wish for!
As they walked off together, Elizabeth said softly, 'We kept an eye on you
and you seemed to be handling yourself excellently, even against both of them. But enough is enough, there is only so much 'my dear Wickham' any person can take.
How was your morning?'
'Absolutely frightful!' Georgiana exclaimed, and at her sister's incredulous expression she said, quietly, 'let's go somewhere private for a few moments, Fitzwilliam too, and I'll tell you both. I may need rescuing tonight, and not from the couple we just left.'
Elizabeth took her to their bedroom, where Fitzwilliam was obviously waiting for his beloved, not for his sister. But thankfully he was at least still dressed, and of course happy to see Georgiana anyway.
'I'm sorry I left before you were rid of Wickham, Georgiana, Elizabeth sent me to our room, I suppose she was afraid I'd strangle him after all. The insolence, to confront you like that, I was ready to do something to him!
Fortunately I always obey my wife. I'm back to normal, Elizabeth, you will dance with me tonight, won't you?'
'Only if you promise not to lose your self-control again, Mr Darcy. You almost let Mr Wickham get to you again, you really should behave in a more gentleman-like manner. It's not just beautiful coats and intricately pleated cravats that make a gentleman you know.'
Something was going on between those two. The way Elizabeth said 'Mr Darcy', and how he watched her in adulation, it was rather disconcerting, there was a certain tension in this room that was none of her business. It was kind of embarrassing to be here right now. But she really needed to tell them about her morning, she dared not risk Fitzwilliam inviting Mr Grenfell to Pemberley or their London house in total ignorance of what that would do to his sister. Just ignore those looks, the tone at which Elizabeth talked to her brother, so bossy. But she just couldn't.
'So did you really send Fitzwilliam to your room and stay behind to save me from Wickham?'
'And Lydia. She can easily talk a person to death, you know, she's such a bore, and she doesn't let anyone get a word in edgewise.'
'Elizabeth, what is going on? Are you making fun of me?'
Georgiana had had enough, what was it with these two, they were behaving like children!
'I'm sorry, Georgiana,' her brother now said, soothingly. 'I'm afraid you caught us at a bad time, it's a kind of game we play together, and when we
get started it's not easy to stop. We'll behave, you've something on your mind, that's obvious. Is it Wickham? Elizabeth really told me I'd better leave and let her handle him.'
Compared to Mr Grenfell, Wickham was nothing! He couldn't hurt her anymore, she was a woman now, and besides, Wickham would never touch her without her consent. A bit out of sorts now, she blurted out all her frustration of the morning.
'No, it's not him, I can handle George Wickham. It's Mr Grenfell.'
And she told the whole story, his familiar way of touching her, his hints at wanting to marry her, his proposition to have him invited to Pemberley.
Fitzwilliam was ready to get angry again, but Elizabeth soothed him with a single hand on his shoulder, the exact spot where Mr Grenfell had touched Georgiana to be precise. But that touch had given her a fright.
'Georgiana is beautiful, and rich, and your sister. You should expect men to start paying attention to her, and not all of them are subtle. You say you told him Fitzwilliam preferred Mr Manners?'
She nodded.
'And Mr Manners knows about this?'
'He thought it was a good joke, though he did angle for an invitation himself.'
'And you don't mind if he gets it?'
Without blushing or showing any sign of shyness or particular interest, Georgiana admitted, 'No, I do want to get to know him better, he's the first gentleman I actually like. Well, except Bingley and your father. And I suppose I'll like Mr Gardiner once we get acquainted.'
'Well, then it's easy. We invite him to London for Christmas, and if that is a success, he can come to Pemberley. Do you agree, Fitzwilliam, you like him, too, don't you?'
Her brother looked at Elizabeth in that disconcerting way again, slowly Georgiana's mind started to get a lead on it. He expected Elizabeth to return by herself, after having saved Georgiana. Then that so-called game of theirs...had to be...how they made love? That could not be true, but the reasoning was sound. They were alone, no Simon or Fanny in sight, the party starting in a hour or so and everybody retreating to their own rooms to change. Fortunately, Fitzwilliam broke her train of thoughts by answering his beloved's question.
'Yes, I like Mr Manners a lot. He is a true gentleman, well-dressed, in possession of a good fortune, smart, well-spoken and most importantly, very outgoing. I feel very comfortable in his presence. He's not handsome, though.'
'But he is so charming, to me it totally makes up for his lack of personal beauty. Do you agree, Georgiana, that you can get rid of Mr Grenfell by your brother inviting the man over whom you put up as his rival?'
Georgiana certainly thought he would let go of the idea of marriage, but she wouldn't feel much safer in his presence, which she tried to explain to her sister, after which Elizabeth continued with some incredulity.
'You don't really think he'd do more than touch you casually? If you really feel threatened by him physically you can avoid being alone with him, and once the party starts it will be impossible to be alone anywhere, and there will be plenty of people looking out for you.'
'And I'm going to be stuck behind the piano most of the night, Bingley said the orchestra couldn't come.'
'Do you mind?' Elizabeth asked, 'you know Mary can do the honours.'
Laughing, Georgiana offered, 'She can take her turn, if she wants to. But I like playing, so I don't mind. And somehow I'd like you to invite Mr Manners over, yes. I told him I wasn't ready to even contemplate marriage yet, and he asked me whether we could be friends instead. I was quite distraught with what happened, but in his presence I settled really quickly.
Though I don't think he's in love with me; he has made his interest clear, but Kitty observed he didn't look like Bingley or Fitzwilliam at all, not in love. I hadn't realised that, but when she said it I knew it was true. And still I want to be friends with him, if only to find out what he wants from me, my fortune, your connections, something else?'
'Maybe he's just not very passionate?' Elizabeth suggested. But after some thinking, she admitted, 'No, you're both right, he doesn't act like a man in love. But then, he met you just three days ago. Fitzwilliam took months to fall in love with me, didn't you?'
'Actually, I think it was weeks. By the time Jane was recovered and you both left Netherfield I think I was lost. But I'm ashamed to admit that had you been rich and well-connected I probably would have fallen for you within the week.'
Of course that made him look at Elizabeth in that certain way again, and now Georgiana had had enough. It was time she left them by themselves,
and she got up and said, 'I suppose Fanny will help me dress first?'
'Yes, please, Georgiana,' Elizabeth replied absently, 'we won't be needing any help for half an hour. Have fun!'
Chapter 44
And an hour and a half later the whole party of revellers gathered for a feast in honour of the bride and groom. Elizabeth of course wore her beautiful dress with the jacket from their London excursion, the beplumed little hat and copper necklace finishing her ensemble. The elaborate hairstyle that had taken
Fanny at least an hour to perfect felt strange to Elizabeth, as if her head was slightly out of balance. She knew, however, that it was very becoming, and she would get used to the balancing act of hair and hat over her left ear before the dancing started. Strangely enough she was looking forward very much to this evening. Balls used to be rather nerve-racking to both herself and Jane, always waiting for their mother or Lydia to make a spectacle of themselves, always hoping to be able to prevent some disaster from embarrassing them. But now? Let Mrs Bennet talk too loudly, Jane was much too involved with her brand-new husband to hear. Was Lydia flirting with a gentleman not her husband or kissing her dear Wickham a tiny bit too intimately? Not Elizabeth's problem! With Georgiana the very epitome of good manners and Kitty following her excellent example, and Mr Bennet busy talking politics with his brother and crops with Bingley's friends, the eldest daughters of the Bennet family could finally enjoy a ball without fear of exposure or shame.
When they had all eaten more than anyone should, the ladies moved to the drawing-room, and Elizabeth felt a hand touch her arm. It was Lydia, and she was obviously stunned by her sister's apparel.
'Lizzy, you look like a queen in that dress! It's so strange looking, but in a good way.
And the hat and coat, no-one has one like them here, or at the camp. Oh, and just look at your necklace, where did you dig that up?'
Lydia had no idea how close to the truth her remark was, Fanny and Simon had in a way dug it up, out of a forgotten drawer in the London house.
'I thought I would be jealous of you and Jane having a rich husband, Lizzy,
and seeing you dressed so beautifully I am a bit. But I cannot imagine what it would be like to live without my dear Wickham. And I suppose it is only fair that your Mr Darcy should be so rich, for Wickham says it must be difficult for you to live with such an overbearing man, it'll take all those beautiful dresses to make up for that. I do feel sorry for you, though you seem to handle it really well. You always were the strongest minded of all of us.'
Elizabeth had a feeling this conversation was going somewhere, her little sister seemed out of sorts despite her usual rantings, so she ignored Lydia's unthinking, insulting remarks and waited for her sister to get to the point.
And Lydia did so quickly for once, this had to be important.
'Dear Lizzy, everyone knows you're the smartest and I have a big problem so I thought I'd ask you, though I suppose you'll be mad at me again.'
Oh Lydia, what had she done this time? Was finally having caught her very dear Wickham not good enough, had she thrown away what reputation she still had after her elopement on another officer?
'Can we go somewhere quiet, where we can talk?'
Suddenly, Lydia was almost in tears, her usual bluster nowhere to be seen.
Elizabeth took her to the little sitting-room that was commonly used for private conversations in this house. On her way out, she made sure to catch Georgiana's eye, and got a wink in return.
As soon as they got to the private room, Lydia actually burst into tears, and her elder sister tried to comfort her boisterous sibling.
'I so wish for a baby, Elizabeth, a little girl or boy of our very own, my dear Wickham and me. Most of my friends at the camp have children, and I so wished to have one myself.'
Which she undoubtedly would, she was from a very prolific family and a mere seventeen years old by now, nothing would stop her from getting with child before she was twenty, Elizabeth feared. So why the tears? She had never seen Lydia cry before, and this was real, no doubt about it. Whatever happened?
'I think I am with child now, Elizabeth, I feel different. May I speak freely?'
Of course she might, they were sisters. But whatever could be the trouble if she had what she wanted so desperately? She was way too young to be a good mother in Elizabeth's opinion, but children didn't ask permission from their aunts before they were conceived.
'I have sudden spells of sadness and I've missed a moon time. My best friend
at the camp said it was a sure sign I was with child, so I told Wickham.'
Lydia hid her face in her hands and cried heartbreakingly. Then she spoke up with a broken voice, 'Dear Lizzy, he wasn't happy at all, he said I was way too young and foolish to raise a child. He wants me to take ergot, he says I can have a baby in two years, when I'm grown-up and have hopefully gained some sense. But Lizzy, I don't want to take ergot. I want the baby.'
Ergot? That was not merely sinful, it was incredibly dangerous to the woman taking it. Fitzwilliam had told her about the sickness from spoiled grain that killed people in excruciating pain, which also caused stillbirths among rich and poor alike. And he had told tell her some women took it to stop an unwanted pregnancy. But Wickham forcing Lydia to take it? He knew there would be consequences to their behaviour, according to Fitzwilliam they had already been intimate when he traced them in London, weeks before they were even married.
In abhorrence she exclaimed, 'Lydia, ergot? That stuff will kill you as easily as it will the seed you are carrying within you! You haven't taken it already, have you?'
Her sister seemed a tiny bit relieved, had she expected Elizabeth to urge her to do as Wickham wanted and take it? But Lydia was by no means convinced all would be well.
'I haven't, Lizzy, I wasn't sure I was with child anyway, and this was just last Tuesday, he didn't have time to find someone to prepare it, we had to leave for the wedding. But I'm so afraid he'll convince me to take it when we return, I cannot refuse him, I love him so much! Lizzy, I know I haven't always been very grown-up but I have such good friends at the camp, they want me to have a baby of my own, they would help me so much. And if Wickham is sent overseas he may be killed and I'll be left all by myself, if I could only have his baby I'd always have a part of him with me.'
Poor Lydia, she understood the dangers to her beloved husband, probably thanks to her friends at the camp, and no matter how little Wickham loved her back, Lydia's love for him was real, as real as her own love for Fitzwilliam. Though Elizabeth was not as eager to have a child, but that might also be because she understood the impact a baby would have on her life.
There was but one thing to do, it would not be pleasant but it had to be done: she had to confront Wickham herself. Her conversation with Wickham at
Longbourn just yesterday gave her hope her efforts would not be in vain, Lydia's confession had given Elizabeth some insight in his reasons to talk to her as he had done, and her reminder that Jane and herself had sprung from a similar mother had clearly had an impact on him. Maybe he had already reviewed his opinion and not told Lydia about it. Though Elizabeth agreed with him that Lydia was not ready for a child at all, he had to understand that it was wrong, to risk his soul and the life of the woman he had at one time decided to wed to save himself the cost of a good nanny. Besides, if indeed the officer's wives were so keen and able to help, maybe Lydia didn't even need the help of a nanny. Kitty had improved so much with nothing more than a good example and some time spent on instruction, who knew how well Lydia would adapt to motherhood in the army camp? Suddenly she felt a certain interest in seeing that camp, meeting the women who had such an influence on her sister. Her father had more or less given up on his wife and merely laughed at her foolishness, he had never had the patience to try to educate her. What if the women at the camp could grind some sense into Lydia, wouldn't that have a chance to make her sister less flighty?
'I'll talk to him, Lydia.'
Before she could tell her sister they had already talked about this yesterday, Lydia fell on her neck, crying stormily.
'Thank you, Lizzy, thank you so much! I hoped you would talk to Wickham, he has such respect for you, I've wondered why the two of you never got together, though I'm glad of it.'
Her sister was almost unbearably thoughtless, how could she not understand these things?
'Think Lydia! Even if Mr Wickham and I had wanted to marry, what would we have lived on?'
It was actually pretty f
unny to see Lydia thinking back to the time when it seemed as if her elder sister would make a match with Wickham. After quite some time her face showed she thought she had the solution, and her reply at first pleased Elizabeth.
'I've got it, Lizzy! Mr Darcy gave us money and got Wickham his commission! He wouldn't have given that to the two of you, just like that.'
Getting close to the truth, dear Lydia. She could do some hard thinking when properly guided.
'Oh good Lord, Lizzy, did he do that for you?'
Elizabeth was pleased, Lydia might not be totally hopeless after all, maybe
what Fitzwilliam had done for her would cause her sister to feel some affection for him instead of a respect bordering on fear. Elizabeth nodded slightly to confirm. Then Lydia added something that startled Elizabeth.
'Oh my Lord, Lizzy, so Mr Darcy demanded you marry him for that? You married him for me? I'm so sorry I never realised, you sacrificed your happiness for me, so I could marry Wickham! Thank you ever so much!'
Lydia, Lydia, she had been so close! Used to ignoring her little sister's foolishness, Elizabeth finally decided matters could not go on like this, she had to explain so Lydia finally understood not everyone yearned for Wickham the way she did.
'Dear sister,' she started, 'you are quite mistaken. Though Mr Darcy did give Mr Wickham the money to please me, he did not force me to marry him.
Why would he, Lydia? I have no fortune, no important family or friends, nothing to make him want to marry me. Nothing but love, Lydia. Mr Darcy loves me as much as you love Mr Wickham, and I hurt him very much by not loving him in return. But he did not want me to be unhappy and yes, Lydia, shamed by your elopement, so he gave Mr Wickham money to marry you, so you would have something to live on. But he did not ask for a return, in fact he tried to keep it a secret, remember how you were not supposed to tell us he had been at your wedding?'
As Elizabeth mentioned shame, Lydia's face shut down for a second, but she did feel the power of the story so she listened to her sister's explanation attentively.
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