“I still think she’s kind of a bitch, though,” added Lila.
Saskia ignored that. “Did you find a daguerreotype?” she asked, knowing full well the answer.
“I did.”
“Can I see it?”
“I don’t have it with me.”
“It’s at home?”
“Yeah.”
“Tell me about him.”
“I don’t know what to say. He caught my eye.” Lila laughed uncomfortably. “Oh god, that sounds so pathetic.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
Lila ordered, paid the cashier, took the bag of food, and handed Saskia some fries. “I don’t expect much to happen,” she said finally, cramming an onion ring into her mouth.
“Don’t knock it till you try it.”
“Okay,” Lila said, still chewing. “I’ll knock it afterward.”
Saskia ignored that, too. She was pretty sure her friend would come around.
At home, Saskia found her dad at the kitchen table, the divorce papers spread out in front of him. His jaw, clenched so tight his bones protruded, worried Saskia. But his eyes worried her more. They looked dull, like he was too spent to feel anything.
She hesitated—she had to quash the urge to flee to her room—then greeted him cautiously. Scanning the cupboard, she grabbed a box of cereal and poured herself a bowl. Then she took a seat across from him, hoping once again he wouldn’t be able to smell the alcohol on her breath.
“Have you seen these? The envelope was open.” He sounded more curious than accusing.
“Yeah,” she said, not looking up from her Honey Nut Cheerios. She had no appetite; her stomach was still full of McDonald’s. But spooning the cereal into her mouth gave her fidgety hands something to do while her dad stared at her expectantly.
“And?”
“And what?” she asked.
“What is your reaction to them?”
“Mom’s a jerk.”
“Saskia, there’s no need for that.”
“But it’s true.”
“It’s not,” he said firmly.
“Okay, whatever you say. What’s your reaction?”
Her father scratched the hair on his chin, which was beginning to look more and more like a full-fledged beard. “I feel . . . like I should shave.” Abruptly, he got up to fix himself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, too. For several minutes they concentrated on chewing.
“This tastes better than I thought,” he said finally.
“That’s because you’ve been eating Healthy Choice for weeks. Anything would taste better.”
“You’ve got a point.”
Saskia got up and brought her bowl to the sink, where she poured the rest of the milk-soaked cereal down the garbage disposal. She let the loud, whirring noise go on longer than it needed to.
“Sask, we have to talk about it,” her father said over the racket.
Her back to him, she flicked off the switch and rolled her eyes. “Okay.”
“Can you take a seat?”
She obeyed, but not without a sigh of resignation.
“Look, I knew this was coming,” he said, studying her face. “These papers aren’t a surprise. I even met with a lawyer.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, a guy here in Coventon.”
“Are you glad?”
“About the papers? Glad isn’t the word.”
“Pissed?”
“Relieved.”
“Are you happy for her?” She was surprised by how bitter the question sounded.
“Look, I don’t want to see her miserable. That wouldn’t do anyone any good.”
“Well, I want to see her miserable.”
Her father shook his head. He looked so tired, like he could sleep twenty hours straight if given the opportunity. “In another year you won’t say that.”
“‘In another year.’ I don’t understand why you’re always thinking ahead! I don’t want to be thinking about how I will feel or how things might be. I want to think about now.”
“That sounds wise.”
“It does?”
“Yes—let’s make some changes . . . immediately. I say we start with food.”
Biting her nails, she watched as her father got up and opened the freezer. He gathered up every single Healthy Choice frozen meal in his arms and dumped them unceremoniously into the trash. “Tomorrow,” he said, “I pick up meat, produce, and good bread. Real food.”
She gaped at him.
“I sense you’re skeptical,” he said.
“I’ve never seen you cook before.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“I’ll help you.”
“I’ve never seen you cook before.”
“I can look for easy recipes online.”
“Okay,” he agreed. “And if we screw up, I hear the Coventon diner’s not too bad.”
That night Saskia had trouble falling asleep. When she finally managed to drift off, it was two-thirty in the morning.
A couple hours later, she awoke groggy and disappointed, realizing straightaway that she had not seen Cornelius. She had no memory of seeing him. No memory of anything.
Lying on top of her sheets, she wrestled with anxiety. What if this was the beginning of the end? What if she never saw him again?
She tried to talk herself out of being pessimistic. Like she’d said to Sara Beth, the process of meeting the Mercury Boys was not an exact science. There were bound to be times when the usual routine didn’t work for whatever reason, especially when no one knew how and why it worked in the first place. And yet she couldn’t stop worrying that Cornelius would suddenly slip away. That prospect now scared her more than the divorce.
At six in the morning, still fighting a wave of worry, Saskia heard her phone buzz on her bedside table. Lila. She’d never called so early before.
“What’s up?” asked Saskia.
“My grandmother was wrong.”
“Too early. Don’t understand.”
“About the dragonfly story.”
“Lila, you’ve gotta break this down. I’m still half asleep.”
“I met my guy! I had a dream, and it was just like you said. It was beautiful, crazy, mesmerizing, there just aren’t enough good adjectives . . .”
“That’s great, but what does that have to do with your grandmother?”
“Don’t you remember? My grandmother said that when someone dies, that’s it. There’s no seeing them ever again. But in my dream, I not only saw my guy—we, like, vibed.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, our connection felt totally real.”
Saskia stood up and stretched out. She was awake now, awake and all ears. “I’m glad,” she told Lila. “Tell me everything.”
“I’ll tell you the whole thing tonight, okay? Today is crazy. I promised to take my brothers and sisters to the water park. It’s going to be a long day.”
“Can you tell me his name, at least?”
“Look, I’ll tell you everything later. Promise.”
“Fine. I can’t wait. Paige is going to go nuts when she hears.”
There came a long silence. Saskia thought she’d lost the connection, but then Lila’s voice rang out crystal clear. “Sask, why does it matter so much what Paige thinks?”
“It doesn’t.”
“It does to you.”
“Well, I respect her opinion.”
“Why?”
“Why are you asking me these questions?”
“Because I care, and I’m not sure she does.”
“Maybe I don’t need you to care so much.”
“Look, forget it,” Lila said tersely. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” Saskia replied. She fell
back onto the bed, wondering what exactly they’d just argued about.
The day seemed never-ending. Saskia’s father had already left for his shift when she dragged herself to the kitchen. Even after coffee, which she hated, her mind still felt cloudy. She ate some buttered toast, then began looking for a job again.
But scanning through the listings was too much to bear, and by 10 a.m., she’d flipped on the TV. All About Eve was playing. Saskia loved Bette Davis, how her huge, owlish eyes conveyed her every emotion, even when she was perfectly silent. But Saskia couldn’t concentrate; Cornelius and seeing the girls later that night were all she could think about.
By dusk, she was already waiting in her driveway for Lila to show up. The old car couldn’t get there fast enough.
She and Lila made it to the Sampras house early. This time the front door was closed. They knocked repeatedly, but no one answered.
“Do you think they’re out?” Lila asked.
Saskia shook her head. “Pretty sure we have the right time.”
“Wouldn’t it be funny if the parents answered?”
“They won’t. The sisters are total latchkey kids.”
“True.”
“Let’s go around,” Saskia suggested finally. She was eager—maybe overeager—to see the other girls. Lila had told her a little about her own Mercury Boy in the car, but only enough to whet Saskia’s appetite. Lila had said she’d tell the whole story once the group had gathered.
As they walked around the house, Saskia wondered if any alarms would blare. The Sampras property seemed like the kind of property that would have a state-of-the-art security system. But no alarms or warning lights went off. The only sound she and Lila heard as they made their way was splashing.
Paige, Sara Beth, and Adrienne were in the pool. The astonishing pool. Its opulent size, beautiful tile and stonework, and sheer glamour reminded her of the pool featured in Sunset Boulevard—minus the dead body, of course. In the center Sara Beth lounged on an inflatable shark. Though the sun was going down, she wore oversized sunglasses that matched her polka-dot halter top swimsuit. Old Hollywood, thought Saskia—definitely Sunset Boulevard. Underwater, Adrienne turned somersaults. Paige swam laps.
Seeing Saskia, she glided the length of the pool to greet her. “Hey! How long have you guys been here?”
“Not long,” said Saskia.
“Wanna come in? It’s really warm.”
Saskia hesitated.
“I, for one, am done with water for the day,” answered Lila.
“She took her brothers and sisters to a water park,” Saskia explained.
“Why don’t you come in, Sask?” Paige asked. “I’ve got, like, ten bikinis, if you want to borrow one.”
Saskia laughed uncomfortably. “Not sure yours would fit me.”
“What, you’re, like, a size six, right? I’m a four.”
Saskia bit her tongue. She wondered if Paige was being polite, or if she really didn’t see the size difference between them. Saskia wasn’t usually inhibited when it came to swimsuits. But in comparison to Sara Beth, Paige, and Adrienne, who were all super skinny, with no spare flesh to speak of, she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about her hourglass shape.
Eventually, all three girls got out of the pool and dried off, joking around and flicking their towels at one another. Sara Beth casually took off her bikini and slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top. Saskia wondered if the neighbors had binoculars. When it came to nudity, she herself was more modest—and cautious. She’d never change in a friend’s yard in front of other people. She wondered if Sara Beth would call her a prude if she knew.
I’m just being paranoid.
“Should we go under the tree again?” asked Adrienne.
“Yeah, definitely,” replied Paige. “It feels like our place now.”
“I’ll get the candles,” said Sara Beth.
Paige watched her sister make a beeline for the house. Then she put on a flimsy mesh cover-up and sidled up to Saskia. “See how she’s glowing? Last night she met her guy. His name’s Mack. She’s into him, too. One night, and she’s already calling him her Forever Boyfriend.”
“No way . . .”
Paige put up her hands. “Swear. She’s hooked. Whipped.”
“Lila met her Mercury Boy, too,” Saskia whispered back. She felt both gleefully conspiratorial and slightly guilty for spilling Lila’s news.
“No!”
“Yes. I think she’s hooked, too.”
“This gets wilder by the day, doesn’t it?”
Impulsively, Paige gave Saskia a soggy hug. Saskia squeezed back, feeling suddenly hopeful, like, despite the bad run she’d had in the last year, her luck was changing. It had to be. Somehow, in only a couple of weeks, Paige Sampras had gone from being a locker-side acquaintance to a real friend.
“Hey, everyone,” Paige announced when the girls had congregated under the tree. “I have an idea.”
“Always a bad sign,” quipped Sara Beth.
“Be quiet!” Paige chided playfully. “So I’m sure you’ve heard of blood brothers. You know, guys cutting themselves and mixing their blood and swearing loyalty to each other? Well, I think we should do our own ‘blood sisters’ version.”
“That sounds grisly. Besides, I hate blood,” Sara Beth complained.
“Can’t say I’m fond of it, either,” said Saskia.
“Well, I guess our thing doesn’t have to involve blood,” replied Paige. “We can all swear on something else.”
Saskia could see the wheels turning in her friend’s head. Paige picked up a candle and watched a trail of molten wax slink down the side. For a few moments, she seemed mesmerized by the dancing flame. Then a grin spread across her face. She put down the candle and clasped her hands.
“Okay, gang. Joining a club requires an initiation, correct?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I feel like finally we’re all invested in the Mercury Boys Club.” She glanced pointedly at Lila, who looked away, embarrassed. “What we’ve discovered is a big deal—groundbreaking, actually. And the bond between us members is equally astonishing and groundbreaking. Maybe even sacred. So I propose we go through an initiation. An initiation that shows not only our loyalty to the club, but also to each other.”
“What will it involve?” Saskia asked cautiously.
“Flesh and flame.”
“Excuse me?”
“Here’s how I see it. We’ll each put a finger over this candle flame. As close as we can, for as long as we can. And while doing it, we’ll repeat this phrase: ‘My love for my Mercury Boy burns bright as fire.’”
Saskia blinked. Paige was kidding, wasn’t she? Her proposal sounded ridiculous and brutal in equal parts. Then again, Paige rarely kidded around. Saskia studied her face; judging from Paige’s solemn expression, she meant every word. Worse, Sara Beth and Adrienne were nodding in agreement.
“I’m not so sure about this,” Saskia said, smiling nervously, her stomach turning.
“Come on. I wouldn’t expect that kind of reaction from you,” Paige replied. “You’re our pioneer!”
“Besides,” added Sara Beth, “this isn’t exactly a sacrifice. If someone can’t take a little burn, a little pain, then I’d have to question why she even deserves to be in the club.”
“Very true,” said Paige.
“Okay, okay,” Saskia said defensively. “I get it.”
“Why don’t you go first? That way, you’ll get it over with,” Paige suggested.
“It won’t be that bad—you’ll see,” added Sara Beth.
A fake smile was still pasted on Saskia’s lips. She kept it there, unwilling to let the sisters see how scared she was.
“You know, I’m sure we could come up with a better initiation,” said Lila, glancing at her. “One that won’t involve an ambulance.”
/> “No, it’s fine,” Saskia said, feigning enthusiasm. “I’ll do it. No problem.”
“Great,” said Paige, placing the candle in front of Saskia. “Show us the way, pioneer.”
Hesitantly, Saskia positioned her hand near the candle, then whipped her finger through the flame quickly.
“Really?” chided Sara Beth. “That’s the best you can do?”
“Don’t be hard on her!” said Paige, but then to Saskia added, “Remember, this is for Cornelius. The longer you hold it, the more he’ll know you care.”
Will he? Saskia wondered.
“And don’t forget to say the line,” Paige reminded her. “‘My love for my Mercury Boy burns bright as fire.’”
Coming from Paige’s mouth the second time, the phrase somehow didn’t sound so crazy, or maybe it was just that Saskia could no longer think straight. She was too focused on the candle, on getting through this bizarre ordeal.
And there was something else—Saskia realized she didn’t want to disappoint Paige. Though she had sowed the seeds for the Mercury Boys, it was Paige who had taken her strange discovery to new lengths, establishing this secret club and creating rituals for it. It was Paige who insisted that the girls were bonded now—sisters. Even before all of this happened, Saskia had admired Paige, but now she felt almost beholden to her.
Saskia bit her lip and put her finger over the flame. This time, she let it linger. The phrase came out of her mouth; she heard it, though she didn’t remember deciding to say it. Funny how the pain didn’t hit immediately. Whole seconds ticked by before she sniffed the sick odor of burning flesh. She tried to remain stoic, but tears filled her eyes.
“Saskia!” Lila admonished, pushing her hand out of the way of the flame. “What’s gotten into you?”
Saskia gasped as Lila’s words sunk in. Then, like sunlight through a magnifying glass, her attention narrowed into pinprick focus. Suddenly, all she could think about was the agony of the burn. All she could see was the grotesque yellow blister rapidly ballooning on her fingertip.
“Well done!” cheered Paige. “You are committed to this club, no doubt about it.”
“I’ll go get an ice pack,” volunteered Sara Beth with uncharacteristic attentiveness.
“Get some Tylenol, too,” said Lila. Gingerly, she took Saskia’s hand and examined the blister. “What the hell? Why’d you do it for so long?”
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