I nodded.
“She is well aware of what happens, shit goes down unplanned, of injury, death, and circumstances out of a person’s control. From what I understand, she chose to stick to you. That was her decision, not yours.”
Did I try to warn her? I couldn’t remember.
“And even Karen doesn’t blame others for her decisions. Karen’s been out twice, and don’t believe for one damned second she didn’t warn Jillian.” Jason stalked into the kitchen.
“Jason’s words are harsh, but he is right, Middy. Don’t shoulder the blame for this as well.” Kurt patted a shoulder and followed the other two. Probably to help calm Doc.
Jessup waited, and sat next to me on the couch. Hands clasped between his open knees, he gazed at the wall. “Middy, all of them are right, you know. We can see the guilt you are carrying, and that you’ve gone behind the wall. You’re going to pay it. Can Jillian help you? I doubt it, since she’s barely trying to muster the strength to help herself. What are you going to do? Sacrifice? Is she worth your sanity? If she is, go in there right now and help her understand before the firefight begins. Blaze won’t go down easy. It’s just another war, on home turf. Bullets are going to fly, and if Doc has his way, Blaze will be minus one hide. But not before the bastard does his damndest to kill us. One of us might not see something and die. Will her doc instincts kick in? Or will she hinder you? Bro, you have to decide.” He looked at his hands, opening and closing, clasping and squeezing. “You’re lucky, you know. I think she loves you, and it is just all too much at once. If only the rest of us had a chance for it.”
“What would you do, Jess?” I glanced at him.
“Get off your ass, take control of the situation, and quit molly coddling her. Jillian is a tough woman, she’s just never been challenged. Remember when you slammed Karen? Do it to Jillian. Both are similar in personality. Piss her off, but don’t back down. Get her good and angry, and I’m betting she’ll find her moxie again.”
“Jess?”
“Yeah?”
“One day, you might have a chance at a normal life. Take it.” I stood. They were right. I was walking a thin line, and taking the responsibility for her actions was going to throw the balance to the wrong side.
I went to the bedroom, knocked on the door, went inside, and found Jillian on the bed.
“We have to talk.” It wasn’t the ideal time, but I had to do it before Blaze made his move.
“I don’t want to listen to you justify murder.” She glared at me.
“You know what? I’m getting fucking tired of you using a word you obviously don’t understand the meaning of.” I pushed into her space. “I did warn you in the beginning. You’re a grown ass woman.” I threw my arms wide. “This entire situation is a complete mind fuck! Do you think I don’t know that? But here’s something you don’t get, I’m the one who has to live with the memory of you getting shot in the head. I’m the one who has to live with myself for every action I take, good, bad or otherwise. Most of it to rescue your ass. You insisted on coming with me, I sure as fuck didn’t kidnap you. In fact, I believe I told you no, stay someplace safe. I’m betting Karen let you know up front what it could be like. Grow a goddamned pair of ovaries. And let’s get something else straight, they want to kill me, and take everything of mine. My family’s history, my family’s memories. Did you know that son of a bitch’s father murdered my mother, and managed to have my father ostracized?”
Her eyes were wide, surprise covering her features, but a spark of anger lit her eyes.
“No? Well damn. You know it all!” I leaned over her. “I’m betting your parents knew, joined in, and left with their tails between their legs. Ever think of that? Because think of the timeline, baby, they quit coming over when Dad was having issues in town, and left when he proved they were all wrong.”
She stood, and pushed me against the wall, rage lighting her features. “Don’t ever talk about my parents likethat! Dad got a better job in Alabama!”
“Really? Want to read some paperwork I have, honey?” I sneered.
She swung, her small fist glancing off my jaw. I jerked my head, and rubbed the spot. Work on her aim and she’d have a great right hook for a TKO. “That the best you got?” I challenged.
She tried to kick me in the balls, but I turned, her knee hitting the meat of my thigh. She threw two more punches, breathing hard, raging at my words. She threw out insults, blaming me for the scar on her head, for the past, for the nightmares.
I didn’t hit her, simply fended off the blows, letting her work the anger through her system.
She slumped on the bed, grabbing Fozzy. “He smells like you.”
“He should, I’ve slept with that bear for years.” I stayed in a defensive posture, although fairly certain she was done, and might be rational.
She chuckled. “I’m sorry, Aiden.”
I kneeled before her, wrapping my hands around her calves, laying my forehead on her knees. “I wouldn’t wish the nightmares on you, or the coming storm of psychological issues sure to take over your life. You’re going to need help. But right now, I need yours.”
She buried a hand in my hair. “I don’t know what good I’ll be. I keep seeing …” She went silent, her hand stopped on the back of my skull, nails digging into the sensitive skin.
“It’s normal. And when this is over, you’re going to question your sanity.”
“Is this PTSD? I know the symptoms, the current drugs used to help, but I’ve never experienced the symptoms.”
“Right now, it’s shock mixed with anxiety and fear. But later you may develop PTSD. Nobody is really sure what triggers it, or who will get it. I’ve seen some people go through hell in a handbasket and come out okay. And others needed to be admitted. Everyone is different.” I turned my head, chest to her knees, face pillowed on her thighs.
Her hand stroked my skull, fingernails raking the skin. It was putting me to sleep.
“Aiden?”
“Yes?”
“I want to be the doctor of this landing party. Just know I won’t help them.” She leaned over and kissed my ear.
Chapter Thirty Two
She walked into the kitchen, gave each man a kiss on the cheek and apologized. She was still pale, and her speech was hesitant, but the Jillian I knew was returning. It would be a long road.
Jessup left to do a check, using the night vision binoculars. Night had fallen while I’d yelled and she raged. He’d gone to the second floor, and ran down. “He’s trying to get into the barn, has five men with him, all are loaded and carrying as if preparing to shoot.”
“Jillian, you know what to do, right?” I held her shoulders, looking in her eyes.
“Follow orders. I know mine.” She jogged to the upstairs room with all the medical supplies.
We’d been prepared, and took our places.
I took the lead, signaling everyone to fan out. Jess and Doc disappeared in the trees, Jason and Kurt went around the house and I ran behind the tiny wood shed. I cocked an ear, and listened.
“Blaze, he’s going to hear you!” a voice whispered.
“He’s too stupid, just been lucky. I know that boy, he’s all arrogance and no brains.”
Well, could be true. But this no brained boy is going to piss on your grave.
I counted the men with him, noticing they wore hunting gear, not realizing it could be spotted at night, in the open, with a half-moon. I rolled my eyes.
Doc’s figure slipped past what was left of my truck, and to the other side of the barn. He’d damn near strolled, and Blaze’s crew didn’t seem to notice.
The temperature dropped from a balmy late fall of forty degrees Fahrenheit, and an arctic breeze blew across the yard. I heard the call of a coyote and glanced to the other end of the house. Jason gave the signal for additional cover coming. He’d smelled the snow, just as I did. We held our positions.
Blaze’s bolt cutters made it through the five locks, and he threw open the barn do
ors. “That’s what I thought.” He pointed his flashlight at one of the younger males with him. “Go see if anyone is inside. He’s got friends. Probably one of those Army boys who think they are black ops.”
I heard Jason snicker.
The snow started gently, a few flakes here and there. I watched the enemy as he cursed. The one he’d told to go around the house went in the direction of Jason and Kurt. The sounds of rustling, and a fist hitting flesh whispered to my position, and Jason’s hand popped around the corner with a thumbs up sign.
Doc stood at the corner of the barn, in full view of the men filing into the barn. He made a smooth motion, taking out a knife. Since our knives were special ordered, and pitch black steel alloy, Blaze’s men didn’t notice in the light being spread by the snow. The flakes fell faster, and while it was lighting the area as it reflected the moonlight, it also gave us a thick cover.
Shaking my head, and giving the signal to hold, Jessup sprinted to the opposite side of the barn, followed closely by Jason and Kurt. Each man held a corner. I grabbed my supplies and jogged to the structure. Taking the cap off the kerosene, I spread it in a circle around the barn. Digging in my pocket, I pulled out the cheap little Bic lighter, smiled, and lit the fuel.
The fire ran around the barn, lighting the faces of my friends, and melting snow. It crawled up the side of the barn, and exclamations filtered into the heavily falling snow. One man ran out and I heard a single shot, followed by the sound of a body hitting the ground.
“Blaze, if you come out now, with your hands up, I will turn you in to the federal government. You will live,” I yelled into the barn.
Bullets shattered through the wood siding, and one hit the ground in front of me.
“Blaze, I have a man who would love nothing more than skinning you alive. You can’t win. Take responsibility for what you have done.”
More bullets.
I shrugged and nodded once at Doc. He answered with a dangerous, feral smile. Poor Blaze, that shit is going to hurt.
“If any man comes out with their hands up, I’m offering you the same deal. Or you can die on my land, your choice.”
One teenager ran out, hands up. Jessup caught him easily, knocking him out and dragging him to the side of the house.
“Anyone else? The barn is burning fairly fast. I turned off the fire sprinklers, and there’s a lot of explosives locked in the RV.” I smiled at Jason as he shook his head. The dumb bastards would try to get to them. We heard them above the sounds of the fire, and backed away.
A male scream tore through the air. Shots were fired, yells, and another scream. Doc walked out of the burning barn, dragging Blaze by his jacket. Blood soaked the hunting camouflage on both shoulders and hips. In the light of fire, I kneeled close, smiling at the terror in his eyes, “You were warned.”
Doc dragged Blaze, his screams bouncing off the structures, into the trees.
More men ran out, taken down and tied up one by one. The barn was engulfed in flames, the heat driving us back. Kurt took the RV keys from Jessup, jogged into the crumbling structure.
A minute later, the RV, carrying bits and pieces of burning building, tore out of the barn and around the front of the house.
I watched, seeing headlights bounce on the driveway. Our backup arrived, and Doc walked out of the woods, using a camo t-shirt to wipe blood off his hands.
“Did you bury him?” I did a quick chin-jut at the trees.
“No. He’s strung up.” He threw the t-shirt into the flames, watching it burn.
“I have to explain that, you know.”
He grinned, “Tell her uncle he confessed to making plans of abduction and torture. I have it recorded.” He pulled an older tape recorder from a side pocket, and waved it.
Shaking my head, I jogged to the front of the house. Four cars arrived, suited men and women filing out. I held parade rest, and one approached.
“Aiden Middleston? I’m Special Agent Goodsman,” she held out a hand.
I shook it, nodding. “They are ready for you. We also have a taped confession from Cornelius Porter.” I turned and found Jillian fussing over the men. She busied herself bandaging burns, Jason’s wound would need stitches, and as she stood with Doc, she kissed his cheek, and checked his hands.
“Good. We have orders for Porter. Which one is he?” She looked at the men on their knees.
“I’m afraid Porter is dead. I need to speak to the VPOTUS.”
Her hazel eyes bored into mine, face blank. A brief pause, and she nodded, pulling out a black. “I need a secure line.”
Another moment, she nodded, and handed the phone to me. I turned and walked to the side of the house, away from the group, “Mr. Vice President?”
“Aiden. The line is secure, tell me.”
“Porter is dead. I’m afraid Doc,” I took a deep breath, “got to him first.”
“Can we identify the body?”
“With the way Doc was grinning, I’m betting you’ll need DNA or a dental.” I kicked the dirt.
“Goodsman will take care of it. She was in Laramie, though I doubt you remember her. My niece’s allies are many. What do I need to do?”
“Well, sir, Cornell is still alive and loose. I request permission to pursue.” The silence was uncomfortable, and I did a quick count of the agents to be sure nobody was nearby.
“No. It needs to stop, Aiden. The rest of it I’ll handle my way. Do you hear me? I don’t want you pursuing Cornell, or any of the others,” his voice held the command necessary for his rank.
“Yes, sir. If he comes after me, however, I will defend me and mine in every way necessary.”
“I hope it doesn’t come to that. Media has already gotten wind of it. We tracked it to someone in Dillon.”
I sighed.
“Yes. Defense only, Sergeant Middleston, that is an order. And don’t let Doc do it.”
“Yes, sir. I understand.”
The line went dead.
Chapter Thirty Three
Goodsman heard the recording. Her expression remained arctic, but I noted her shoulders tense, her left foot slide back, and her hands fist.
“What did Karen do for you?” I asked just above a whisper.
“You don’t remember, do you? She saved me in the bunker.” Her hazel eyes burned with the fire of vengeance.
My memory searched for the moment before Karen went upstairs and found the scene finally broke her. I hadn’t noticed, but the gun had been pointed at Goodsman. The scene flashed, and I could match the hazel eyes, only filled with a fear of death. I nodded, letting her know I remembered.
Doc spoke, his voice deep and melodic, “Karen Barnes did much for many, and remembers none of it. She must forget to keep the peace she has fought so hard for. But I have given her a small revenge. The man is hanging from a pine.” He pointed in the direction he’d taken Blaze.
Goodsman put a hand on my arm, “But Middleston, don’t discount yourself. Do you hear me? In Laramie, and here, you’ve proven yourself. I’ve got your back.” She gave it a quick squeeze, dropped her hand and went into the trees.
Jillian stood nearby, and I gazed at her. She was pale, lines on her forehead, gaze fighting to remain focused, dark bags under her eyes. I pulled her into me, wrapped both arms around the small form, and kissed the top of her head. Whispering, “I love you, Jilly Bean. And coming next are the worst days of your life as you try to come to terms with it all. I wish I could do that for you.” I rocked her gently back and forth.
“I hate you, Aiden Middleston. I love you, Squirrel. I can’t stay.” Her tears soaked the t-shirt at chest level. “I’ll never sleep again.”
Her broken words said volumes. I was going to lose Jillian.
*
The barn lay in smoldering ruins, the agents left, Blaze was in a body bag, my brothers were cleaning up, leaving me on the front lawn to stare at the car taking Jillian away. Speech was impossible, and the area around my heart hurt with a physical pain I couldn’t relieve
. She’d made it clear – either I leave with her, or say goodbye.
But I couldn’t walk away from my home, my history, my future, especially after the gallons of blood spilled to keep it. The ones who’d died, enemy or not. My DNA was literally mixed with the dirt. I couldn’t understand why she wanted me to toss it all out the window just so she could run from the memories.
Where the fuck was the static foam when I needed it? Too many emotions, and sorting them out more than I could handle.
I joined in the cleaning, forcing all thoughts out, and using the physical labor to do what needed to be done. It took hours, leading us into the dawn and a foot of fresh snow. The barn smoldered in a few spots, but it’d crashed down into a charred pile that needed hauling to the nearest landfill. The RV got a bath, and we filed in to the house, one by one, to take showers. At nine in the morning, we’d found beds. Jillian took Fozzy. I lay in the morning light, staring at the ceiling.
Where’d I go wrong? I couldn’t understand. If she loved me, why did I have to sacrifice what made me Aiden Middleston to be with her?
I’d settled in to Dad’s room months earlier, the one room in the house with the original interior. The walls were made of wood, a hundred and thirty years worn into the grain. They were probably once a much lighter honey colored, but now they were closer to a mahogany shade. The doors to the closet were made by my great-great-grandfather, and I loved the smoothness. When I ran my hand over the wood, connected to the past, to the very people I owed my existence.
To my father.
Sleep stole conscious thought, and I didn’t fight. I saw Blaze’s body, hanging from the tree, the skin on his face missing, and several essential body parts. Doc took a personal interest in assuring Blaze could never threaten to rape or harm a woman again, in this life or the next. The barn burning to the ground. Jillian’s expression as she realized I wouldn’t walk away from my life, not even for her.
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