by Ava Stone
“Or me,” Anna added.
Lila heaved a sigh. Until this very moment, she had no idea her cousin even knew about the situation. Blast Tilly and her loose lips.
“You’re in love with him,” her sister continued, and the truth of that twisted Lila’s heart. “And he’s been obsessed with finding you ever since last year. Only a fool would hide in her room and let her one chance at happiness pass her by.”
“He hasn’t been obsessed with finding me,” she stressed again. “He’s got it in his mind that some angel exists and—”
“You do exist,” Anna replied. “And you are quite angelic. I have the sketches to prove it.”
“That’s not what I mean at all.” Emotion started to lodge in her throat. “So he unmasks me and expects to find the girl of his dreams, but he’s left with…me instead.” She tried to push the pain of that away with a shake of her head. “It’s awful enough imaging such a heartache, you can’t expect me to want to live it out in real life.”
“Lila.” Anna heaved a sigh. “How do you know what his reaction will be? Have you a crystal ball? Have you taken up fortune telling in your spare time?”
“If he wanted me, it would be different. But he doesn’t. He wants some girl who doesn’t really exist and—”
Her cousin squeezed her hand. “I think he would be quite pleased with the outcome. I saw the way he held onto your hand yesterday.”
“He was injured and—”
“And I saw the way he looked at you as though you were the only girl in the world. But you’ve got yourself so convinced of something that isn’t even true, you’re not even willing to find out if you’re wrong, if you could have everything you ever wanted out of life. And all because of an unwarranted fear.”
“Come with us tonight,” Tilly pleaded. “Be reckless just this once.”
“Wouldn’t you rather know for sure, one way or the other, than wonder ‘what if’ the rest of your life?” Anna finished.
And she would. She would wonder ‘what if’ until her dying breath. She hadn’t really thought about it like that. Dear heavens, Lila had lost her mind right along with her sister and cousin. “You’re certain Papa won’t wake up?”
“Unless someone pounded on the door in the middle of the night to wake him, we’ll be most definitely in the clear,” her cousin promised.
Tilly clapped her hands together. “Just wait until you see what I’m going to wear.”
Heavens! There were so many people crowding the gardens and grounds of Marisdùn. Half of London must have descended upon the castle in the last few days. Lila didn’t remember last year’s Samhain masquerade being so overrun with people, but, of course, the previous year she’d been quite focused on her missing friend. And then she’d been quite swept away with Lord Quentin and after that kiss…Well, she didn’t notice anything else after that kiss.
This year, however, she was quite focused on a great many things – hoping Papa wouldn’t discover that she, Tilly, and Anna had left the vicarage in the dead of night; worrying how Lord Quentin would react if she revealed herself to him; and worrying even more that she’d never find him in this crush of people.
Beside her, Tilly, in one of Papa’s robes sighed wistfully.
Lila cast her sister a sidelong glance to find her smiling at a tall gentleman, dressed in black with a domino disguising his identity. He looked, however, quite similar to Mr. Garrick. Hmm…Was Mr. Garrick the reason Tilly had been so adamant about attending tonight’s—
Lord Quentin who didn’t sport any sort of mask at all, appeared beside the man in black and clapped a hand to his friend’s back. Just seeing him took her breath away.
“I’m going to go sketch now,” Anna whispered and squeezed Lila’s hand. “Good luck tonight.”
Lila nodded in response. “Yes, good luck to you too.”
And then Anna disappeared through the throng of people.
“I’ll find you by the gate when it’s time to leave,” Tilly said, and didn’t wait for any sort of response before pushing her own way through the crowd, leaving Lila quite alone.
She glanced after her sister’s departing form and turned her attention back to Lord Quentin, who was now alone himself, and staring directly at her. Lila’s breath caught in her throat, and she felt the tiniest bit faint. What in the world was she doing here? And why had she let Tilly and Anna talk her into this? Lord Quentin would discover who she was and then…And then, she had no idea what would happen and that terrified her more than anything she’d ever faced in her life.
Dear God. She was here. Quent blinked in surprise. He couldn’t help it. Sure enough, his angel, the woman who had so captivated him for the last twelve months stood just on the other side of the garden, next to a small man in a robe, looking right at him. At least, he thought it was her. No, it was her. He’d know her anywhere, in that dress. But she wasn’t really an angel, was she? She had no wings, no halo, just a shimmery white gown and a half-mask that once again hid her face from his view.
A second later the small man was gone and Garrick muttered something about seeing Quent later that evening before disappearing into the crowd.
It was the moment he’d planned for. The moment he’d hoped would materialize just as it had, and yet…He took a step backwards instead of forwards, which surprised him more than a little.
Damn it all. What had he even been doing with this masquerade? What had he been thinking? That one dance, one kiss with some mysterious woman would lead to his ultimate destiny? That the course of his life depended upon him finding this mystery woman when…When he already knew the most perfect girl in all the world. But that girl wasn’t here tonight. And he’d been a giant fool up until now.
He could push his way across the garden, unmask the woman who’d haunted his dreams for a year or…Or he could ride, right now, for the vicarage where the girl he truly wanted to share his dreams with was probably already fast asleep.
It wasn’t even a contest. Quent shook his head, more than surprised at himself, at this turn of events. But there wasn’t a question at all that his heart wanted Lila Southward and it didn’t matter who the mysterious angel was on the other side of the garden. She wasn’t Lila, and that was all that mattered.
Without a glance back, Quent started for his stables, and wouldn’t have let anything stand in his way except…Well except for the fact that Kilworth, of all the damned people, had just drawn a very familiar blonde into his arms just a few feet away. Damn it all. If Braden caught sight of the two of them like this, he would have Hope fitted for a chastity belt before she could snap her fingers. And right in that moment, Quent would have helped him as the moonlight caught one of his sister’s emerald earbobs, and Kilworth’s earlier words echoed in Quent’s ears. Actually, he recently crafted some very nice earbobs for me.
Damned idiot. Quent had been a damned idiot not to have put that puzzle piece together until now. That blackguard had those earbobs crafted for Hope. It was no wonder she’d been beside herself when the thing had gone missing. And Quent had crawled around on his hands and knees at those bloody ruins until he found the damned piece, like the idiot he clearly was. He might as well have delivered his sister up to the earl on a silver platter.
He stalked towards the pair right as Kilworth was about to lower his lips to Hope’s. Quent grasped his sister’s elbow, a bit more roughly than he would normally have done, and yanked her backwards. The earl stumbled forwards, though he managed to catch his footing and didn’t fall on his face. Pity, that.
“Give me the damned earbobs,” Quent growled.
Hope gasped as she glanced up at him through her golden half-mask. “Quent,” she complained.
“Do not Quent me,” he grumbled. “You’re lucky it was me and not Braden. Now hand me those damned earbobs.”
She tugged the first from her ear, her bottom lip quivering as though she was about to burst into tears; but Quent didn’t care one whit if she let out another one of her wails or not. She�
��d gone and lost all sense and reason to accept such a gift from Kilworth and she bloody well knew it. Patience and Grace knew it too, and there was no doubt in Quent’s mind that the other two had kept this secret. Damned fools, all three of them.
“Come now, Post,” Kilworth began, stepping closer to him as Hope handed Quent the first earbob “It’s just—”
“You gave this to my sister?” he demanded, lifting the pear-shaped emerald up for inspection.
Kilworth didn’t even have the good manners to look chastened. “They match her eyes so nicely, I couldn’t help myself.”
He couldn’t help himself? It was all Quent could do not to crash his fist into the earl’s jaw. Fortunately, he spotted Wolf and his viscountess, not far away. “Wolf!” he called to his friend. “Do see if you can help my sister locate Braden in this madness. She’s suddenly missing his attention.”
Hope squeaked in horror at his side as she handed him the second earbob.
Quent glared at his sister. “Unless you want Braden to find out about this little plan of yours, you better not leave his side the rest of the night.”
She looked as though he’d struck her, and he was half tempted to toss her over his knee right there. Accepting earbobs from Kilworth! Of all the foolish things she could have done.
“You’re looking for Braden?” Wolf asked, after he and Daphne had managed to push their way through the crowd.
Quent shoved Hope, a little less than gently, towards the Wolverlys. “She’s apparently missing his company.” He shrugged, hoping he sounded more nonchalant than he felt. “I rarely miss it, myself; but to each his own. Would you mind helping her find him?”
“My pleasure,” Wolf replied, while his wife draped an arm around Hope’s shoulders. A worldly fellow, Wolf could clearly tell that something had transpired, but the good friend that he was, he didn’t say as much.
As soon as the trio was gone, Quent turned his attention back to the rakish earl whose company he’d once enjoyed quite a bit. They might have once been friends but not any longer, not after this. “You’ll pack up your things and leave Marisdùn tonight.”
“Come now,” Kilworth began evenly.
“And I swear on my father’s grave that if you ever speak to her again…”
“Is it so hard to believe I might actually enjoy Hope’s company?” The man frowned at him.
“Her company?” Quent growled. “I know what you expect from women you’ve gifted jewelry to, Henry, don’t forget how well I know you.”
The earl heaved a sigh. “It was simply so I could find her this evening, Quent. She’s as innocent as the day she was born, on my word.”
She had better be. “So should I tell Braden to expect an offer from you on the morrow, then? Is that how much you enjoy Hope’s company? You’re prepared to spend the rest of your life with her?”
Kilworth winced at the suggestion. “I hardly think that’s called for.”
Which was exactly what Quent suspected. Henry Baxter, the depraved Earl of Kilworth, was the same as he’d always been, but this time Hope would be the one ruined in the process if Quent didn’t do something to remedy the situation. “What do you want to keep your distance from her, then? Name your price.”
“Name my price?” Kilworth shook his head. “You’re trying to buy me off? I’m not a destitute fortune hunter.”
No, he was quite plump in the pocket, actually, which was bloody inconvenient at the moment. He couldn’t be bought with money, but… “The ring.” The words flew from Quent’s mouth. “The Roman officer’s ring. It’s yours if you vow to never seek out my sister’s company again.” Thank God he had something of value the man might actually want.
The earl frowned slightly as though he was considering the proposition. “Well, I’d like to inspect it first, of course.”
How Quent would love to send the blackguard sprawling across the gardens, but that would only raise questions, and those questions would damage Hope’s reputation. Damn it all. “Everything from the priest hole is in a crate in the dungeons. The ring is the first thing on top.” Quent had even placed the relic there himself. “It’s in a small jewelry box. You can’t miss it.”
“I’ll just go have a look, then.” He sent Quent a mock salute and started for the castle door.
If Hope had overheard that exchange, her heart would have broken in two. To know that Kilworth was willing to trade her affections for an artifact would have crushed her spirit quite completely, there was no doubt in his mind. So Quent would have to figure out something he could tell her, something that wouldn’t destroy her, even if she was a giant fool. A scolding she’d get, and in spades; but…He loved her too much to hurt her completely. He’d think of something to tell her. He had to.
“So,” Wolf began, making his way back through the crowd, “do you need me to help you hand Kilworth his arse?”
Quent smiled at his friend. “I think I took care of the problem.”
Wolf shook his head. “Braden’s got her under his thumb.”
That was a relief. “Thank you for taking her to him.”
“Of course, of course,” his friend replied. “Now do tell me, have you spotted your angel? I am dying to know, honestly. I’ve been looking about, but I didn’t see her last year, so I don’t really know who to look for.”
His angel. After all these months and now his angel meant absolutely nothing. Quent shook his head. “Would you think I was mad if I told you I saw her but decided not to unmask her, after all?”
“Oh?” A glint sparkled in Wolf’s eyes. “Some other girl catch your eye instead?”
“She caught my eye the first moment I spotted her last year. And I…” still had to get to the vicarage, even if it was the middle of the night, and even if he woke every member of her family in the process. “I really do need to find her this evening and tell her and…”
“Godspeed in that case,” Wolf replied with a grin. “And good luck.”
The tears that had threatened to spill down Lila’s cheeks for days finally did just that, soaking the edge of her mask until it irritated her face.
Lord Quentin had looked right at her, right at her, then turned on his heel and walked away. He must have realized Lila was the girl behind the mask and he didn’t want to face her. Instead of saying words like “You’re a sweet girl, but we’d never suit” or “You’re not who I was hoping for,” or “Shouldn’t you be tucked into bed at the vicarage at this hour?” he’d opted to turn on his heel and not say one word to her.
Honestly, that was worse. As badly as it would’ve hurt to hear any of those things aloud, the fact that he didn’t even want to face her was worse. She hadn’t known her heart could ache as badly as it did in that moment, and she was certain she’d never feel right again.
Lord Quentin must be completely furious that she hadn’t told him the truth that day at the ruins. She could have even told him today in the middle of Ravenglass with Callie by her side for support. But she hadn’t. He had to think she’d duped him, that she’d made a fool out of him, but none of that had ever been her intent.
Until he’d returned to Ravenglass, she had no idea he’d been searching for her. She’d had no idea that he didn’t realize she was the girl he’d danced with, the girl he’d kissed. She had no idea about any of it until his sisters had told her about his obsession with his mysterious angel. And then she’d been too hurt to say anything.
But now he knew the truth, and she doubted Lord Quentin would ever speak to her again.
Oh! Lila wanted to crawl into a hole and die. If her heart had been ripped from of her chest it would hurt less than it did right now. If only she could rush home, and dissolve into a puddle of tears in the safety of her own bed and never have to leave it for the rest of her days. But she couldn’t rush home. She had absolutely no idea where her sister or her cousin had disappeared to and they had a plan to meet and return home together. She couldn’t go without them, they wouldn’t know she was gone, and then they�
�d search for her and she’d be nowhere to be found.
So she had to stay at Marisdùn, where everyone was laughing and dancing and having a wonderful time…and where her heart had been shattered into a million pieces that she’d never find if she spent the rest of her life looking.
Lila started for the castle’s garden door. Everyone seemed to be out of doors, but inside, there had to plenty of places for her hide until it was time to return home with Tilly and Anna. At least she could remove her mask if there was no one around to see her.
She slid the damp half-mask from her face and crossed the threshold into the castle. Her nose scrunched up instantly. There was an odd odor about, almost as though rotten eggs permeated the air. She covered her mouth and coughed, turning around to escape back outside to where the air was much fresher, even if the grounds were covered in happy revelers she’d prefer to avoid.
“Pardon me.” A tall man stood in her path, blocking her exit.
Drat. There wasn’t enough room for two of them and he didn’t seem inclined to move from his position. “Sorry.” Lila pressed herself against the castle wall, so the man could pass and she could make her escape.
He frowned slightly at her and lifted a handkerchief out to her. “Are you all right?”
She must look a fright. So she took his offered handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes. “Thank you, sir.”
“My pleasure,” he said smoothly. “Nothing I hate more in the world than to see tears in the eyes of a beautiful girl.” Then he looked her up and down and smiled rather rakishly. “I don’t suppose you know the way to the dungeons, do you?”
She had been to the dungeons before, actually; but she wasn’t in a hurry to head there with some man she didn’t know, even if he had lent her a handkerchief. “I’m certain Mrs. Small can direct you,” she evaded.
“Yes, I’m certain she can,” he returned. “But I have the feeling you’ll disappear on me if I let you walk away and that would be a tragedy.”
Oh, the last thing she wanted to do was talk to anyone in her present state. “I don’t believe I’ll be the best company, sir. But do enjoy—”