Last night. Grayson had tossed and turned thinking about how incredible making love to her had been. He cursed himself for not convincing her to spend the night. He’d thought she needed her space to process what had happened, and he was trying to be respectful of that, but as soon as her door had closed behind her, he knew he didn’t want to let her go. Ever.
“Gray, you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes as he released a shaky sigh. “I really screwed this up.”
“What’d you do?”
“I told you about the stuff I was keeping from her. I was going to tell her, when the time was right, but it seems she found out on her own.”
He stared at an oil painting on the wall across from him. A gorgeous woman with long blond hair sat on a white sandy beach staring out at the ocean with a serene expression. That woman could have been Alana, and he could have spent the rest of his days making her happy. She may never forgive him, but that wouldn’t stop him from begging for forgiveness or trying to make her understand why he’d done the things he did.
“You’re not the kind of guy who betrays people, man. Hell, I can’t think of anyone I trust more. I still don’t get why you’d lie to her.”
“I didn’t lie to her exactly.” Coloring the harsh reality a softer shade of gray didn’t make him feel any better. “I just didn’t tell her everything.”
“How’d she find out?”
“She found the evidence on my desk.” His stomach pitched when he thought of her reaction to seeing the pictures and report from his private investigator. How could he make her understand he hadn’t been trying to hurt her?
“Sounds like you’ve got some explaining to do, my friend.”
“Yeah, I’ve got to find her first.”
“Good luck. Let me know how it goes.”
“Thanks, I will.” If he returned to work looking as though he’d lost his best friend, his friends would be able to tell he’d made the biggest mistake of his life and redemption was not in the cards.
***
Alana suppressed a scream when she walked into her apartment and found Ronan relaxing on the single chair she’d bought. “What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?”
“Your boyfriend really needs to tighten the security in this dump, babe.”
“What are you talking about?” Ronan was the last person she’d expected to see. His presence just punctuated the fact she could never leave her past behind. “Forget it, I don’t care.” Opening the door wider, she said, “I want you gone. Now.”
“Did you know Grayson bought this building? The ink on the papers wasn’t even dry when you hopped into his bed… or should I say his hot tub?” His handsome face contorted into a mask of rage. “Three months. Three goddamn months before you let me touch you. You know this son-of-a-bitch three weeks and you’re letting him fu—”
“Shut your mouth. I’m warning you. I will call the police if you don’t leave. Here, you’ll be treated just like anyone else accused of breaking and entering.” His claim sank in. Grayson bought this building? That was the reason his realtor had stopped by. His lies and deception ran even deeper than she’d realized. “How did you know about what happened between us last night?” She closed the door when she heard someone walking down the hall toward her apartment. “Were you having me followed?”
He stood, reminding her just how imposing he could be. “Oh, it’s okay for him to hire a private investigator, but it’s not okay for me?”
“What do you mean?” She decided to feign innocence so he wouldn’t assume she was in on it. Ronan assumed everyone was out to get him because they were jealous of his success.
He sneered. “He must have thought I was pretty stupid. That clown he hired was so obvious I could’ve spotted him from a mile away. When I figured out I was being followed, I wanted to know why. The trail led me to him, and it wasn’t long before I realized his interest in me was connected to his interest in you. Does he see me as the competition, Alana? Is that why he’s having me followed?”
“I don’t know why he’s having you followed. More importantly, I don’t know why you think you have the right to have me followed. We’re divorced, remember?” Alana’s legs were trembling, but she refused to let him know she was afraid to be in the same room with him. Ronan was pretending to be calm, which scared her even more.
“I thought I was pretty clear when you left town. We’re not over. We’ll never be over. You may have thought you had a future with this guy, but he lied to you. He deceived you. He cheated on you. He had you followed.”
“Sounds exactly like you, doesn’t he?” She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of asking how he knew Grayson had cheated on her. It didn’t matter. “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t cast stones.”
“You loved me enough to marry me.” He stepped forward, forcing her back against the wall. “I can’t believe the mistakes I made erased that from your memory.”
“Believe it. The only thing I feel for you now is contempt and disgust.” She knew she was taking a risk telling him the truth, but she refused to cower. She needed to take her life back, especially if she wanted to return to her hometown. “I want you out of my life. It was a mistake to think I had to leave Sacramento for that to happen. It’s my home. It’s where I belong.”
“I’m glad you finally realize that,” he said, looking satisfied as he slipped his hands into his pockets. “My jet’s all ready to go. Just say the word.”
She shook in disbelief. “You still don’t get it, do you? I don’t want anything to do with you. But I was a fool to let your obsession run me out of town. If this experience has taught me anything, it’s that I’m stronger than I thought I was.” Lifting her chin, she forced herself to stare him down. “I don’t need you, and I don’t need Grayson. I’m perfectly capable of not only surviving, but thriving on my own.” Before Ronan could respond, a pounding on the door jarred her.
“Alana, it’s me. Open up. We need to talk.”
Alana wasn’t surprised Grayson had come looking for her. She’d known he would, and it gave her the opportunity to tell him what she thought of him before she packed and headed home.
Ronan flattened his palm against the door. “You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to.”
Alana frowned as she reached for the door handle. “I’ll decide who’s welcome in my home, not you.”
“Baby, I’m so glad I caught you before—” Grayson narrowed his eyes at Ronan. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I came to see my wife.”
“Ex-wife,” Grayson and Alana said at the same time.
Ronan leaned against the wall, adopting a casual stance. “You’re wasting your time here, Barrett. She knows everything.”
Grayson shot Alana a pleading look. “If you’ll just let me explain—”
“I’m still trying to figure out why you bought this dump though,” Ronan said, looking at the half-painted walls and soiled carpet. “If it were me, I would have just put her up in a decent place until I could convince her to move in with me.”
Alana was sickened by how alike those men were. Why had she ignored her instincts with Grayson? Because you were falling in love with him. Fury overcame her when she acknowledged that. She’d allowed herself to trust him, to imagine a future with him, and all the while he’d been lying to her. “I want you both out of here now. I have nothing to say to either one of you.”
Grayson pointed at Ronan. “You. Out! Now!”
Ronan smirked, looking as though he had no intention of moving. “I’ll walk out with you. I don’t need to wait around to talk to Alana. We’ll have plenty of time to talk when she gets home.”
“You’re leaving?” Grayson asked, gripping Alana’s shoulders. “You can’t leave. What about the promotion? Hell, what about us?”
She shook him off. “You must be joking. You can’t honestly believe I’d continue working for you now that
I know what the kind of man you are.”
Grayson ran a hand over his hair. “I made a lot of stupid mistakes, but I did them for the right reasons. You’ve got to believe me.”
“I have a lot of experience with men who manipulate women.” She inclined her head toward Ronan. “Thanks to this one. I should have trusted my instincts about you. You have to control everything and everyone, or you’re not happy.”
“That’s not why I did it. I swear to you.”
“You expect her to believe that?” Ronan asked, chuckling.
“I told you to get out before I throw you out,” Grayson said. “I’m giving you ten seconds before I call a police escort.”
Ronan lifted one shoulder. “No problem. Alana, I’ll check in with you tomorrow. I trust you’ll be staying with your parents?”
She positioned her body between them, glaring at Ronan. “Let me remind you my daddy collects guns and doesn’t take too kindly to trespassers. If you come within a hundred feet of his property, he’ll make you wish you hadn’t. My brothers will be all over you like a pack of rabid dogs if I say the word. You come near me again, and I’ll set them loose on you so fast it’ll make your head spin. Are we clear?”
Ronan took a deep breath, obviously considering his options. “You have changed. I wish I could say it was for the better.”
Grayson brushed his front against Alana’s back as he moved forward. “I know where you live, Ronan, and if I find out you’re still hassling her, I’ll hunt you down and beat you ‘til you beg for mercy. You think I’m kidding, try me.”
Alana felt her ex-husband had finally met someone who intimidated him. Ronan was a big man, but Grayson was bigger. While Ronan talked a good game, she had no doubt Grayson would make good on his threat.
“Alana,” Ronan said, inclining his head. “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses about coming home.”
“Get out,” Grayson said between clenched teeth.
Alana held her breath as she watched Ronan leave. She took a moment to collect herself before facing Grayson.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, hanging his head.
She steeled herself, trying to ignore his anguish laced with a ring of truth. “You’re just sorry you got caught.”
Grayson closed his eyes before pinning her with his gaze. “I’ll admit I didn’t trust you when we first met. That’s why I had my guy check you out, before I realized how wrong I was about you.”
It was a small consolation to hear him admit he’d rushed to judgment about her. Being right didn’t take away the pain. “Why did you have Ronan checked out? Did you think we were still involved?” She didn’t know why she was torturing herself by asking for details. They wouldn’t change anything.
“No, it was nothing like that. I was worried about you. I wanted to know if this guy was dangerous, if he was a threat to you.”
She almost believed him. “Even if you are telling the truth, that doesn’t excuse what you did. You dug around in my private life, took pictures of me with my friends and family. Who does that? Aside from my ex-husband, I mean.” She knew she’d hit her mark when she saw him wince, but she had to make him hurt as much as he’d hurt her. “You’re exactly like him. That’s why you can’t stand him, because it’s like looking in a mirror and seeing everything you hate about yourself.”
“I don’t hate myself for taking care of the people I love, Alana. If that makes me a bad guy, I’ll own that. I’ll apologize for not telling you I bought this building. I’ll apologize for having my investigator dig into your past. But I sure as hell won’t apologize for trying to keep you safe. I love you. That makes keeping you safe my job.”
Those three little words shot through her heart like a bullet. He loved her. And she loved him, but not enough to erase the anger. Not enough to forgive and forget. Not enough to trust him again. “Love means respecting someone enough to be honest with them.”
“If you give me another chance, I swear I’ll never keep anything from you again.” He reached for her hand. “Please. Don’t leave me.”
Alana’s heart was breaking, but she couldn’t let him know that. He would see it as a sign of weakness and chip away at it until he wore her down. “Honesty’s a deal breaker for me. I’m an understanding person, but I’m not a fool. I won’t give my heart to a man who’s already proved he doesn’t deserve it.” She wanted to cry. Scream. Rally at the injustice of falling in love with a man who would do that to her, but she would save her tears for when she was alone. Now was the time to be brave.
“What can I say to change your mind?” he asked, his handsome face pinched in frustration. “Anything. I’ll do anything.”
“You can prove to me that you really care about me.”
“How? Just tell me what you need from me.”
“I need you to leave me alone. Just go. Leave me alone.”
“I can do anything but that,” he said, his broad shoulders slumping. “Please. Don’t ask me to do that.”
Her lip quivered, and she knew she was at risk of losing it. Seeing him broken was breaking her, but she couldn’t allow herself to fall victim to another man’s empty promise to change. “That’s the only thing I want you to do.”
“I love you.” His voice was choked with emotion. He raised his hand to touch her face and let it fall again. “I don’t know how to stop.”
“You don’t have a choice.” She stepped back, reaching for the door handle. “For the record, you don’t have anything to worry about. I may not have signed that contract, but I have no intention of suing High Rollers. I’m sure you’re relieved to hear that.”
“I know you wouldn’t do anything like that. In spite of how it might look, I do trust you.”
“There’s one more thing you can do for me.”
“What’s that?”
“Take the afternoon off.”
“Why?”
“I’d like to go clean out my desk. I have to explain to Bob and H.R. why I won’t be coming back to work.”
He swallowed, once, twice, three times as his eyes glazed over. “You really think I could go back to work right now?”
Alana looked at the floor, holding back the tears. “Good-bye, Grayson.”
Chapter Eighteen
Grayson sat in his rental car, staring at the beautiful old farmhouse with the wraparound porch. Birdfeeders were scattered about the property, and old wooden rocking chairs were positioned to appreciate the view. He imagined Alana growing up in that house, sitting on those rockers with one of her parents and pouring out her heart about the latest man to disappoint her.
It had been three agonizing months since she’d left, and every day had been worse than the last. His partners couldn’t reason with him, his friends couldn’t stand him, and his family could barely tolerate him. He wasn’t the same person. The guy they knew had disappeared the day Alana had walked out. He couldn’t believe it had taken him a lifetime to find love and only days to lose it. It didn’t seem fair, but he knew he didn’t have the right to complain about injustice.
Getting out of the car, he thought about Alana’s comment about her father’s gun collection. Grayson couldn’t help but wonder whether her daddy had one with his name on it. But fear didn’t stop him from approaching the front door. Nothing Alana’s father could say or do would be worse than the misery he’d lived for the past few months.
Before he could walk up the steps, a big burly man wearing a plaid shirt and faded blue jeans stepped onto the porch. He had thick, wavy white hair, but his eyes alerted Grayson that he was Alana’s father.
“Who are you?”
Grayson took a deep breath before stepping forward and extending his hand. “Hello, sir. My name’s Grayson Barrett. I’m a friend of Alana’s.”
He glared at Grayson’s hand. “I know who you are, and you’re no friend of hers.”
Grayson knew he shouldn’t be surprised. The man was doing what any father would, trying to protect his daughter from the man who’d hurt her
. “I guess she told you about what happened in Arlington.”
“She tells me everything,” he said, slamming the door behind him. “Consider yourself lucky you’re still standin’, boy.”
Grayson wasn’t used to being disrespected, but he knew he’d earned it. “I know you don’t like me, and I can’t say I blame you.”
The man narrowed his eyes. “If you know that, then why’re you here? To cause more trouble?”
“No, sir, I’m here to set things straight, to try to correct the mistakes I made with your daughter.”
He grunted. “You’re a little too late for that. She’s moved on.”
Grayson could almost feel his world turn. He’d planned what he would say, imagined how Alana would react, but another man had never even entered his mind. How could she have moved on when he couldn’t stop thinking about her?
“You look surprised.” The man leaned against the railing, bracing his arms on either side of his body. “My Alana’s a beautiful girl. Smart as hell. Men have been lining up to date her for as long as I can remember.”
Grayson steadied himself against the white pillar that supported the old house, hoping it could support him too. “I’m not surprised men are interested in her. I’m just a little shocked that she—”
“Didn’t waste any more time crying over you?” His face tightened. “She did enough of that to worry me and her mama half to death. Hell, she wasn’t that upset when she left her husband. What I want to know is how you managed to get under her skin so quick. Seems she wasn’t in Arlington long enough for you two to develop that kind of connection.”
Grayson had never believed in love at first sight. He’d laughed at people who claimed they were in love after a date or two, but he finally understood it could happen. He didn’t expect Alana’s father to understand; he was just glad Kent Shelton hadn’t thrown him off his property. “She was. I mean, we did.”
“Maybe you’d better sit down,” he said, pointing at one of the rockers. “You don’t look so good.”
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