I had to look up and face the consequences.
“It’s really not a big deal, Dad,” I said, careful to avoid looking at Sterling. “Nothing that I wouldn’t have told you about when I got the chance. I was in their room that night just talking. Cole was there, too. It got late and I knew I’d get in even bigger trouble if I got caught wandering around the school at night, so Cole gave me his bed and slept on the floor.”
My father leaned back in his chair. “I’m not through with you.” He pointed at Sterling. “We’ll have a little chat when we’re done here.” The red splotches on his face started to disband. “Harper and Cole, I’m extremely disappointed in you both.”
Cole nodded without lifting his eyes from my face. He was staring at me in utter disbelief, like I’d just flown down from Mars for the weekend. My father’s face held the same sentiment. Headmaster Lowell narrowed his eyes when he looked at me, as if trying to imagine what Sterling could see in Harper the Hag.
But no one in that room was as stunned as me. Sterling Lane had carried our little farce far past the limits of sanity. He’d have to endure a lecture from my father and awkward questions from my brother, all for a situation that could easily have been remedied by my tidy little lie.
He’d said his feelings were serious—that he wasn’t going to let me go. Did he mean it? He couldn’t. Was it all part of the game, designed to torment me while casting a smoke screen wide enough to hide the truth forever? My gaze cut to Sterling and the way he leaned back in his chair, poised and in command, while I felt like my internal organs were on display.
Whatever Sterling was up to, however this moment fit into his master plan, I would find a way to face it and still live up to my own standards.
Reason 28:
After just a few short weeks,
he knew my brother better than I did.
But worst of all,
he’d been right about
pretty much everything.
I avoided both Cole and Sterling for the rest of the day. I couldn’t bear to look Sterling in the face. Not after the things he’d said—in front of my father, no less.
I knew he was mortified by the horrifying explanation he’d had to craft on the fly to cover up for my incompetent lies. Worst of all, my father had dragged Sterling away when we’d all parted, no doubt to have the awkward, overprotective chat—the kind of thing that should only happen in the Middle Ages when girls weren’t deemed capable of defending themselves. And I was even better able to do that than Cole, whose dates would never get a series of stern warnings from Dad.
Sterling made no attempt to approach me, so I kept to myself as well, watching him from the corner of my eye during lunch. He sat alone, which was out of character. Part of me burned to speak to him, to ask him what on earth he’d been thinking, just as part of me was terrified of what he’d say. The possibilities made me nauseous, which didn’t help me sort out my own feelings one bit.
It wasn’t until the end of classes that Cole finally sought me out. He didn’t say anything at all, just pulled me into a hug.
“I can’t believe you did that—you lied for me.” His voice was wobbly with emotion.
“Don’t ever say that out loud again,” I said, glancing around. Fortunately, no one was close enough to overhear. “It’s imprudent. Besides, I’d probably kill for you, Cole Campbell. But I’d rather you didn’t make me. It’s against Rules 13 and 132.”
“I’ve missed you. And your Rules, weirdo.” He smiled. “Forgive me?”
“For what?”
“For being stupid.” He looked down at his shoes. “And an asshole. I was just under so much pressure, and—”
“You know you’re neither of those things. Seriously, Cole, the only thing I’m mad about is that you didn’t tell me. You know I could’ve helped.”
“It wasn’t like that,” he said. “I just got in over my head and I was ashamed. Sterling—he found out by accident. Not much gets past him.” He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “I don’t know what I would have done without that loan.”
“It’s over now.”
“Yes,” Cole said. “Thanks to you and Sterling.”
We walked across the quad in silence. I was surprised when he nudged me with his elbow, playfully.
“Is there really something between you two? Or was that just one more story to get us off the hook? I assumed it was a fib until I saw the look on your face.”
“I hardly see how that matters.”
“Holy shit,” Cole said. “I assumed he’d be working his way through Kendall’s crowd. You know, brainless seems more his type.”
“Girl is Sterling’s type,” I replied. “And don’t knock Kendall. That girl’s got more brains than you sometimes. And after a month of living together in my monastery, we’ve come to an understanding of each other.”
Cole smiled at me. “See, I knew you could convert an acquaintance into a friend. And look at you, going for a double-header, all on your first go-around. Sterling might be unpredictable, but he’s no idiot. He knows a good thing when he sees one.”
“Well, it was all just a big mistake.” I shook my head even as Cole’s words sent a little ripple of anxiety through me. Did I actually care what Sterling and Kendall thought of me? Would I miss Kendall when she moved out—and miss Sterling when our tentative truce expired?
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, more to myself than to him.
“Yeah, right. My sister lied to the headmaster. That’s major. Here you were worried Sterling would get his claws into me when you’re the one he was after.”
I scowled at him, so he added, “I mean that in a good way. Relax. Serious feelings for you—who would have seen that coming after how you two fought?”
“He wasn’t after me. That was just a side effect of being thrown together all the time.” But even as the words left my mouth, I knew the connection between Sterling and me was more than that. I just wasn’t ready to define what, exactly. “No more ridiculous scrapes, please. I don’t know that I have the moral fortitude to endure this again.”
We said goodbye at the front door of Cole’s dorm. I refused to go inside, just in case Sterling was there—settled in his armchair, martini in hand. But as I walked away, I saw Sterling sitting underneath a tree with his head tipped back against the trunk. His aviator shades were perched in place on that aristocratic nose. He was out of place there in the windswept greenery. Once again, I could picture him in a chaise at the end of a pier, soaking in the sun, maintaining that even golden glow that contrasted so starkly against the pallor of my own skin.
I couldn’t tell if Sterling saw me. Knowing him, he was probably fast asleep and dreaming of all the trouble he’d cause now that he’d been exonerated. It wasn’t a good idea to stick around long enough to find out. I squared my shoulders and trudged back toward my dorm.
I opened the door to my room, braced for Kendall’s half to be empty. Her room was repaired and the excitement of my prank war with Sterling had faded, so it was only a matter of days before she’d disappear back into her clique of beautiful people. I would be alone again, just the way I liked it.
So I was surprised to find her sitting on her bed, shoes planted squarely on the floor for once. My history outline was spread open on her bed, and to my astonishment, she appeared to be drafting an outline of her own. Ordinarily such blatant plagiarism would have made my head spin full circle, but Kendall worked hard. She wasn’t expecting a free ride, just finding the most efficient way to study. And really, there was nothing wrong with that.
“I need to talk to you.” She was bouncing a little at my arrival, like a golden retriever. “My old room has been fixed for a while.”
“I heard.” I’d known this goodbye was coming, but I still needed a moment to prepare myself. I closed my eyes and added, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’ll miss you. Thank you for everything you did for me.”
A smile spread across her face, the one she knew n
o one could deny. Instantly, I realized I’d made a misstep. The last time I’d seen her smile that way, Parker spent an entire Saturday assembling shelves for her shoe collection. And here I’d actually hoped for a moment of honesty.
“I was thinking…”
“A dangerous activity.”
“I like you.” Her grin never faltered. “Even now, when you’re Sarcastic Harper.”
“What are you buttering me up for?” I demanded. “Just out with it, already. I’ve had a really long day.”
“So I heard.” She wiggled an eyebrow. It seemed Kendall knew something I didn’t—a landmark event. “But that’s the thing. See, I can move back in with Celia, but every time I picture myself back there, I just—I don’t know. I like it better here with you. I always know where I stand with you—where everything stands with you. I think that’s kinda rare in my life.”
Of all the things I’d heard that day, this was by far the most unexpected. The glamorous Kendall Frank wanted to live with Harper the Hag. A little firecracker of joy exploded somewhere inside me. I was smiling. I liked living with Kendall—I just hadn’t let myself truly feel it until I knew it was something I would get to keep.
Kendall started bouncing again, grinning back at me. “So can I stay, roomie?” she asked. “We can get my TV out of storage. And I have every shade of nail polish.”
“You can stay.” I sighed like it was a huge inconvenience. In a way, it was. I hadn’t counted on caring about Kendall or what she thought of me, but I did. “But keep your nail polish to yourself.”
“You sure? Because I have a feeling you’ll be needing it, and possibly this divine little dress I just bought. It’s too small for me, you know, until I drop a few pounds. But it’ll fit you perfectly.”
“Why would I need that?” I demanded.
She lifted an envelope from the bed at her side and held it out to me. It was gold, embossed with a large black L on the flap. My heart started to tap-dance around my rib cage.
“What is it?”
She shrugged and looked down, making a big show of examining her cuticles while I opened it.
I call upon you, Harper Campbell, to perform one favor:
Friday, 6:00 p.m., Saint James Hotel
Cocktail attire
And that twisty thing you’ve been doing with your hair
Plus the mascara
It didn’t need to be signed. It was scrawled all over Sterling Lane’s monogrammed stationery.
My stomach pole-vaulted over my large intestine.
When I’d done all those bad things over the last few weeks, I’d known one day I would account for all of my Rulebreaking, all of my sins and undeniable transgressions. But this Friday seemed a little soon for that day of reckoning.
Because nothing good would come from this date with the devil, particularly considering his Rules on the matter.
Reason 29:
He’s a disgusting, filthy pig who
thinks he can just buy and sell anything,
including me. But unlike Sterling Lane,
I’m a human being. I have feelings.
He can’t just expect me to come running
when he snaps his fingers.
And I’m certainly not going to sleep with him.
How do you prepare for a summons like this? How do you arm for war on uncertain terrain against an enemy you wish you didn’t have to fight?
I spent at least an hour staring at my closet, wondering which of my turtleneck sweaters made me look the most severe and was therefore least appropriate for a night out with an obnoxiously attractive boy. I’d settled on a black ensemble—a baggy black turtleneck paired with slacks I was pretty sure I’d inherited from my grandmother.
Unfortunately, Kendall intervened. She walked into our room with her phone pressed against her ear, nodding so vigorously I thought her head might pop right off.
“You are so lucky you called me,” she said into the receiver, eyeing me up and down. “Sister Harper couldn’t be showing less skin if she was wearing two habits.”
My temper flared. I held out my hand. “Give me the phone, Kendall.”
She reluctantly complied.
“This is absurd, Sterling. I’m not doing this.”
“Remember our deal,” he said. “Tonight, you have to listen to me, and I’m extending that authority to Kendall for the next ten minutes. Let her help you.”
“Help me with what, exactly?” But I knew the answer as I saw Kendall pull a dress out of her closet. To her credit, it was something I might have picked out if I wore cocktail dresses—a simple black sheath dress, not too short, but not exactly long, either. I shook my head, momentarily forgetting that Sterling wouldn’t be able to see my refusal. “Absolutely not,” I told her. “I’m not wearing that.”
“A promise is a promise,” he said. “Don’t forget I made one, too. And I’ll make another one: I promise you’ll enjoy it.” There was a click on the line. He was gone. I handed the phone to Kendall, then snatched it back and hit the redial button. It went straight to Sterling’s voicemail.
It. What did he mean by it?
There was only one reason a boy lured you into his bedroom and closed the door. Sterling’s own words.
“What’s he up to?” I asked as Kendall thrust the dress at me. It really wasn’t that bad; it was just the principle of the matter.
“Honestly? I don’t know. But I don’t think I’d tell you if I did. It’s so romantic.”
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” I plopped down on my bed and buried my face in my hands. “And what about coercion is romantic?”
“It’s not coercion, silly. You can say no. But—and I can say this because I’m with Parker now, but back when I was interested in Sterling—” She lowered her voice and I looked up, more curious than I’d care to admit. “I gave up because he just wasn’t like this. You know, his second-date rule. I mean, Parker was scared to commit, too, but that was all a misunderstanding. Most people don’t put it all out there in the open so you know where you stand, like Sterling does. Trust me on that one.” There was a shimmer of moisture in her eyes, so I awkwardly patted her hand. “Parker and I wasted months with our stupid games.”
I couldn’t really argue with her, and not just because of my lack of experience in this arena. I’d seen it happen around me enough times to know the truth. And I knew I could wear my turtleneck. Or I could move out of my comfort zone a little and try something new. “If you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working. There are plenty of nice guys in the world. Guys who don’t play these demented games. Why would I want to go on a date with a boy like him?”
She tugged on my turtleneck, so I finally cooperated and pulled it up over my head, dismissing my own mortification at changing in front of her because I was fully unwilling to interrupt this conversation.
“Because you’ve already done it a zillion times,” she said, talking to me like I was slow. The same way I’d always talked to her. “You are so blind. You’re the only person he sits with for all of lunch. He always sits near you in class. He’s already broken his rules just like he made you break a bunch of yours. The two of you are just—bizarrely, diametrically opposite, but that makes you fit together somehow.”
It was an uncomfortable feeling, sitting there realizing Kendall had a point. Perhaps all along Sterling had been toying with me, or maybe the two of us had unwittingly fallen into this disaster together. I was so taken aback that I didn’t fight her as she slid the dress over my head.
“How did you know about my Rules?” I asked, a little stunned.
“I have ears, you know.” She looked me up and down. “I’m not pulling your pants off. There are limits to friendship, Harper.”
It was a foreign word. Foreign concept. I just obeyed. Even though I hadn’t touched them since my grandmother’s funeral, I obediently accepted the black heels she dug out of the back of my closet. I put on sensible shoes, though, and slid the heels into my bag.
It was large enough to hold the shoes as well as two books. In case I got bored.
“You look really pretty,” Kendall said, smiling as she surveyed the fruits of her labor. “He won’t know what hit him. Use that to your advantage, since you’re walking into unknown terrain. Now, do you know where you’re supposed to go?”
I shook my head.
She slipped Sterling’s note back into my hand. The Saint James Hotel downtown—the fancy place all the über-rich parents stayed when they were in town. Room 804 was scrawled across the bottom in Sterling’s lazy, boyish handwriting.
The blood in my veins froze in place. My heart had been replaced with a solid block of ice.
“I’m not going to a hotel room.”
“Yes. You. Are.” Kendall pushed me toward the door, leaning into it with all her might. Finally, I took a step forward, throwing her so off-balance on her ridiculous platforms that she almost tumbled forward onto the floor.
“I promised him a favor,” I said. “This is too much.”
“One hell of a favor,” she said, grinning. “You used to be so difficult, Harper. Well, you still are, but in a new and improved way. He isn’t playing games with you this time. This is it—the big gesture. And before you jump to conclusions—this isn’t like that. He spent way too much time chipping away at your defenses just to try to seduce you in a hotel room. Live a little. See what happens.”
“I’ll tell you what’s gonna happen,” I told her. “I’m gonna rip his head off. I can’t believe he’d ruin everything like this.”
At that, Kendall gave me a sympathetic smile. “Give him a chance,” she said. “I’ll bet he comes through.”
I slung my bag up over my shoulder and started walking, but with every step, my thoughts cycled back to the basic insult in what Sterling had done. I couldn’t be ordered up like a pizza—to a hotel room, no less. Of all the disrespectful, condescending little Sterling games, this was far and away the most despicable. His curt summons cheapened what we’d had—the times we’d been alone together behind closed doors. In the headmaster’s office, he’d professed to care about me. I’d let myself believe, in a remote corner of my brain, that he meant it—that he viewed me as a person deserving of his care and respect. But now that tentative hope was shattered. Underneath all of my justifiable outrage, the truth of our situation was what hurt most of all.
Why I Loathe Sterling Lane Page 24