“You knew,” Layne clipped as Merry choked. “You knew that’s why she left me. You knew that was torturing her. And you left her to that agony.”
“Tanner, son, please,” Dave was close and Layne turned to him, his other arm shooting up, he pointed a finger right in Dave’s face.
“You’re not right here, old man, because you’re an old man. You deserve worse,” he growled and Dave’s pale face grew paler.
“Brother,” Merry choked.
Layne jerked his head around and got in Merry’s face again. “I’m not your brother,” he bit out.
Merry’s eyes narrowed and he yanked on Layne’s forearm. “You don’t get it.”
“I fuckin’ well do, it leaked straight from her eyes into my skin, you asshole.”
“You don’t get it,” Merry rasped.
“What didn’t sink into my skin filled my head, she told me, Garrett. She told me.”
“She made us promise, Tanner,” Dave said behind him, his tone pleading.
Jasper got close and whispered, “Stand down, Dad.”
Layne stayed in Merry’s face and stared in his eyes. It didn’t occur to him Merry wasn’t struggling except to keep Layne’s hand from squeezing the life out of him.
“Dad, stand down,” Jasper repeated, Layne’s body locked before he pushed off, shoving Merry deeper into the wall as he took a step away.
“You aren’t welcome in this house,” he announced as both Merry’s hands went to his throat.
“Please listen to me, son,” Dave begged and Layne turned to him.
“You want me to listen now? Is that right? Now you want me to listen,” Layne asked sarcastically.
“Devin told us it was bad up there,” Dave said quietly.
“Yeah, Dave, I guess you could describe it as bad, watchin’ my woman relive a nightmare where she heard her mother scream through torture, you could describe that as bad.”
Dave flinched then his face got hard. “That’s my wife you’re talkin’ about.”
“No, Dave, that’s your daughter I’m talkin’ about.”
Dave’s jaw clenched.
“She made us promise, Tanner,” Merry said softly and Layne turned to him.
“Yeah, she did? What’d she make you promise?” Layne asked.
“When she left you, she was out of it, like what you saw but worse, it lasted two days,” Merry explained.
Two days. Rocky said she’d lost two days. She didn’t remember it.
Fuck.
“And, what? You call Doc?” Layne’s eyes cut to Doc. “They call you?”
“Nope,” Doc answered, his eyes were sharp and he was pissed, Layne could tell. “Didn’t get a call. Offered it, when she was fourteen and I knew this would play with her mind. But I didn’t get a call Tanner, not at fourteen, or fifteen, or –”
“We could handle it in the family,” Dave snapped.
“Right, see you did a fine job with that, Dave,” Doc snapped back.
“This is none of your concern,” Dave shot back.
“Was my concern when you brought her in with appendicitis. Was my concern when she had a chest infection. Was my concern when she dislocated her shoulder. The mind is a part of the body, Dave, and I’ve been her doctor for over three decades. It’s my goldarned concern!” Doc returned.
Jesus, the old guy remembered all that? Fucking hell.
“We were handling it in the family,” Dave repeated.
“And I wasn’t family?” Layne asked and Dave’s eyes shot to him.
“What?”
“Eighteen years ago, when she turned then, I wasn’t family?”
Dave closed his eyes slowly.
“Answer me, Dave, wasn’t I family?”
Dave’s eyes opened. “Tanner –”
Layne leaned forward and roared, “Wasn’t I family?”
“She made us promise, Tanner,” Merry whispered and Layne swung around to face him. “You saw her, you saw the way she could be. Wouldn’t you promise anything, anything, to stop her from being like that?”
“No,” Layne shook his head. “No, I would not. What I’d do, no matter what she said, how she acted, what she threatened, was understand she needed some serious fucking help and get it for her.”
“Even if that meant losing her?” Merry shot back.
“Yes, brother, even if that meant losing her because even if I had to sleep at night without her, I’d know she wasn’t tortured by her mother’s dying screams. So, yes. Absolutely.”
A muscle ticked in Merry’s jaw, he turned his head and looked away.
“Losing Cecilia happened to all of us, Tanner,” Dave noted and Layne looked at him.
“I’ve no idea, pray to God I never do. You all had it tough but you didn’t listen to her die, Dave, your daughter did. You didn’t have the tools to deal with Rocky and you should have found someone who had those tools. You should have talked to Doc. You should have taken care of her.”
“I did,” Dave returned.
“No, Dave, you didn’t. You didn’t then, you didn’t seven years later when she cut me out of her life and you knew, you and Merry, you both knew and don’t bother denying it, you knew I was the only one who could heal those wounds and you let her cut me out. And you aren’t now because you’re standing there, in total denial and not admitting how huge a fuck up you perpetrated.”
“I lost my wife!” Dave shouted.
“I’m sorry about that, Dave,” Layne whispered. “But you didn’t lose your life so that means it was your responsibility to get your head outta your fuckin’ ass and take care of your daughter.”
“Dad,” Tripp called softly, “you’re bein’ too hard on Uncle Dave.”
Layne turned to his son. “That’s not my job, Tripp, lookin’ out for Dave. That’s my woman up there.” He jerked his finger to the ceiling. “It’s my job to look after her.” He turned back to Dave and swept through Merry with his glance. “It goes without sayin’ you shoulda let me in on this shit eighteen years ago but that’s done. Then you had a second shot, both of you, I asked, I fuckin’ begged, and you still kept this shit to yourself.”
“This was coming back up for all of us, Tanner,” Dave defended himself. “Knowing why she left you, knowing it might surface again, not only for her, but for all of us. This wasn’t exactly easy.”
“You have turns like that?” Layne asked.
“No, but I feel Fisher in my bones every time it rains,” Dave returned.
“So, you think, maybe all of you might need some help to sort your shit out?” Layne suggested derisively. “So you could deal with that pain in your bones, Merry could get his head sorted after leavin’ the only woman he’s ever loved and Roc wouldn’t have to endure another turn?”
“Dad and I talked and we thought, she had another episode, this time, we would have your back,” Merry said and Layne’s eyes locked on him.
“Well, you didn’t, you weren’t here. My boys and my mother had my back.”
Merry stared at him a beat before he nodded.
Layne kept talking. “Rocky, she loves you, she’ll always love you. Me, I’m feelin’ a fuckuva lot different. She’s in my house and she’s under my watch now. I want you two gone. I know you’ll be back and I know I’ll have to deal but, right now, I want you two gone.”
Dave puffed out his chest. “I want to see my daughter.”
“You’ll have to call her tomorrow,” Layne replied.
“I want to see her now.”
“She’s sleepin’ in my bed now, Dave, so, like I said, you’re gonna have to wait until tomorrow.”
“She’s my daughter, Tanner,” Dave hissed.
“Dad, let’s go,” Merry whispered.
“No, I’m not –” Dave started.
“Dad… let’s… go,” Merry clipped.
“He can’t tell me when I can see my daughter,” Dave shot back.
“Yeah, Dad, he can,” Merry returned.
“He can’t.”
&nbs
p; “Would you let someone see Mom, you’re pissed as hell at them?” Merry retorted and Dave’s torso jerked back. “Yeah, that’s what this is. You know what this is. We’re Merricks for fuck’s sake. You’re like that. I’m like that. Mom was like that. Rocky’s like that and, you know, Rocky’s gonna find a man like that. So, Tanner’s pissed and we need to go.”
Dave glared at his son. Then he turned his glare on Doc. Then he turned his glare on Layne. Then he turned on his foot and stalked to the front door.
Merry’s eyes went to Layne. “We’ll work this out, brother.”
“I wouldn’t hold your breath ‘til that happens, Garrett.”
Merry studied him then shook his head, a small, sad grin on his face.
Then he said, “You’re pissed now but you love her. We’ll work this out.”
Merry was right but Layne sure as fuck wasn’t going to give that to him. So he stayed silent and watched Merry walk out.
“I’ll go to the office,” Doc announced after the door closed behind Merry. “Get some names. Good counselors. I’ll call you with numbers. She needs to find one she trusts and start right away.”
Layne nodded.
“I didn’t give her much, she won’t be out long,” Doc went on. “I’ll leave some sleeping pills. She has trouble sleeping, you need to make her take them. If she wakes and she’s still not well, exhibiting disorientation, any of the symptoms you saw, even amnesia, not remembering what happened today, I need to know.”
“Right,” Layne grunted.
Doc rounded the island and got close to Layne. “You need to make yourself safe harbor, Tanner. She needs to know she can lay this weight on you. It’s heavy, son, you want her better, you learn to brace.”
“She’s safe now, Doc,” Layne muttered and Doc’s eyes searched his face.
Then he nodded and murmured, “I reckon so.”
Doc’s eyes swept the room, he nodded again then he turned to go but he stopped by the stairs and turned back. His eyes locked on Layne and he spoke.
“Later, not now, later, you think about Rocky, how you feel about her, then how you’d feel learning that she was tortured then shot twice in the chest and once in the face.” Layne’s middle jerked back at Doc’s words but he didn’t break eye contact. “It happened to you, you might deal with it different. You might make better choices. But that man did what he could carrying the burden that he brought that on his wife and left his daughter with demons. A burden he’s still carrying, Tanner. You’re right to be angry but no good man can understand the burden Dave Merrick carries and hold a grudge.”
With that successful parting shot, Doc turned away and disappeared.
Layne stood frozen for long moments after he left and only moved when he felt Tripp fit his body against Layne’s side, his arms going around his Dad’s waist, his cheek to Layne’s shoulder and his boy hugged him.
Layne’s arm went around Tripp’s shoulders and he gave him a squeeze.
Tripp stepped back from Layne and looked in his old man’s eyes. “Can I go up and sit with Gram and Rocky?” he asked quietly.
God, Tripp was a good kid.
Layne lifted a hand, curled it around Tripp’s neck and squeezed. “You okay after you saw that, Pal?”
“Yeah, I’m just worried Roc’s not okay.”
“She’ll be okay,” Layne assured his son on another squeeze and a short tug.
“You think you can fix her?” Tripp asked.
“I know it,” Layne answered.
Tripp smiled, it was wonky and halfhearted but he did it.
“Good thing is, I didn’t have to tackle her,” Tripp noted.
“Yeah, that’s good,” Layne replied.
“But I stole her keys out of her purse. They’re in between Blondie’s forty-first and forty-second food bowls,” Tripp informed him and Layne returned his smile, figuring his was halfhearted too but at least it was a smile.
“Thanks, Pal” Layne said on another squeeze.
“I’m gonna go up,” Tripp whispered, Layne nodded and let him go.
Tripp gave him a long, last look, turned and ran up the stairs.
Layne felt cold on his arm and turned to see Jasper was holding a beer there.
“Think he needs whisky, boy,” Devin grunted.
Layne took the beer from Jas, slapped him on the shoulder and said to Dev, “Not sure whisky’s a good idea right now. Or, not as much as I want of it.”
“Right,” Devin was in the liquor cupboard, “you need your faculties about you. I, on the other hand, can get as drunk as I want.”
Layne moved to the island and felt Jasper crowding him, like he did Tripp and Seth when Cosgrove abused them and he turned to look at his son.
“I’m good, Bud,” he murmured.
“Okay, Dad,” Jas murmured back but he didn’t move away so Layne flung his arm around his boy’s shoulders and pulled him, hard, into his side.
Jasper slid his arm around Layne’s waist and held on.
Devin opened the bottle of whisky and turned to Layne.
“What’d I say?” Devin asked.
“About what?” Layne asked back.
Devin looked at him. Then he said, “Kaboom!” Then he put the whisky bottle to his lips, tipped his head far back and took a huge shot straight from the bottle.
Jasper turned his head and Layne did the same, they caught each other’s eye and Jasper shook his head.
Layne looked back to Devin who was now staring at them, still holding the bottle by its neck.
“Also told you she’s worth the effort.”
“Already knew that, old man.”
“Yeah, well, know you know it more.” His eyes slid to Jas. “Seen a lot of things, done a lot of things, wounds to the flesh hurt but they heal fast. Wounds to the soul never go away. It’s how we cope with a pain that never dies that makes us the people we are. Daily, people demonstrate acts of courage just so they can get through to the night. That woman upstairs smiles and laughs and cooks and teaches and no one knew the pain she carried in her soul. In other words, there are warriors and then there are warriors. In your Dad’s bed lies a warrior. Learn from her, boy.”
“Right,” Jasper whispered.
“Your Dad’s gone, I’m gone, you or your brother have her back,” Devin ordered.
“Right,” Jasper repeated on another whisper.
“Until she’s freed, she can turn at any time. One of us needs to catch her should she fall,” Devin went on.
“Right,” Jasper whispered again.
“Brief your brother,” Devin demanded.
“Right,” Jasper whispered yet again.
“Now,” Devin announced, “I’m havin’ a stoagie and gettin’ drunk.” His eyes hit Layne. “And that dog’s been quarantined outside throughout this situation and I’m not lettin’ her in yet so, goes without sayin’, me outside with whisky and a stoagie and your fuckin’ dog, tells you what you mean to me, boy.”
Then he strode to the door, opened it, Blondie attacked him on his first step on the cement patio and he closed the door.
Layne squeezed Jasper’s shoulder and stepped away.
“You good?” Layne asked.
“I’m good,” Jasper answered.
“Ignore Dev, he can be dramatic.”
“Seems pretty smart to me.”
Layne looked into Jasper’s eyes.
Then he asked, “Sure you’re good?”
“Yeah, Dad.”
“I was shot, awhile ago, Bud and –”
“I’m good, Dad.”
“We haven’t talked about that, I wanted to give you boys time.”
“You don’t need to give us time.”
“Jas –”
“Dad, we know what you do for a living and we know why. It’s jacked up, what happened to Roc’s Mom because she was a Mom, not someone like you. It sucked, you gettin’ shot, and I can’t say that Tripp and me weren’t scared, we were. But you’re here, we’re tight so it’s all good.”<
br />
“You ever wanna talk,” Layne said quietly.
Jasper grinned at him. “Yeah, but, I need to talk, I’ll pick a time when Rocky’s not sedated in your bedroom.”
Layne grinned back. “Good call,” he muttered then lifted the bottle in his hand. “You wanna beer?”
Jasper’s brows shot up. “Seriously?”
“Fuck no,” Layne replied.
Jasper chuckled.
Layne moved into his son, wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close, let him go, turned and walked up the stairs to Rocky.
* * * * *
Layne knew she was awake ten minutes before she stirred and lifted her head from his chest.
Her neck twisted and her eyes hit his.
“Faker,” he whispered.
She blinked slowly.
Then she whispered back, “What?”
“Sweetcheeks, you’ve been fakin’ sleep for ten minutes.”
“Oh.” She was still whispering and now pushing away.
So Layne’s arm, already around her, tightened and he pulled her up his chest.
She put slight pressure on him, not too much but avoided his eyes.
“Baby, look at me,” Layne ordered gently and her eyes came to his. “How you feelin’?”
“Weird,” she answered.
“You remember?”
She pressed her lips together. Then she nodded.
“All of it?”
“What day is today?” she asked.
“Saturday,” he answered.
“Then yes. All of it.”
“How many days you lose to this shit?”
“Well, I’ve been lying there thinking about it and I’m guessing… two.”
“That’s my guess too,” Layne told her. “So it never happened before?”
“Not that I know of.”
“But you might not remember?”
“I’m thinking… no.”
“Doc gave me some names and numbers of people you can call. We’ll see it never happens again.”
She stopped pressing against him and her weight hit his side.
Then she whispered, “Tripp and Jas saw –”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I think –”
“Rocky, honey, you know they’re good kids. This is life. I can’t shield them from life forever. They’ve gotta learn how to deal. What happened was real. It needed to happen. You needed to get that shit out. You did it surrounded by people who care a lot about you. When that shit happens, that’s the best place to be.”
Golden Trail (The 'Burg Series) Page 64