She’d never had boyfriends, never wanted them. She was devoted to her family, to her own well-being. But with Jake—there was something else there. She didn’t want him to be hurt. She wanted him to have what he wanted.
It scared the hell out of her.
She was closer to him, emotionally, than she’d ever been to any man, ever. She wasn’t sure what that meant, what she should do about it.
Just have sex, she told herself, and she smoothed her hands down his back, watching his lips curve into a smile.
“You giving me a massage?” he said, his voice sleepy-rough and sexy. “I could use it. Damned woman, you wrung me out.”
“You loved it,” she said, feeling a shiver of apprehension.
Loved it.
He rolled over, kissing her. They’d only made love an hour before, but she wanted to again.
Wait. Making love? She frowned as she processed the thought.
She chastised her subconscious. Still, she couldn’t call it something crude, a term that she would’ve used with any of the other guys she’d fucked and forgotten. It was so much more than just sleeping together, or having sex. She hadn’t understood that before.
She’d opened up to him, trusted him, cared about him.
They’d been acrobatic, crazed. Now, after hours and lack of sleep, he was languid about it. He kissed her, like he could kiss her for days. He touched her like he was worshipping her.
She returned the favor, tasting him, savoring him. She reached over, getting a condom, teasing them both as she slowly rolled it over his length. Then she eased herself over him, fitting him to her. Glided over him with a sigh.
It was like waves against a beach, she thought, as they slowly moved together, ebbing and flowing, until the building sensual pressure made their breathing uneven, their bodies less graceful, more desperate. The orgasm caught her unaware, leaving her shuddering helplessly around him. His cock answered with its own release, pulsing inside her with frantic thrusts.
She collapsed against him, breathing hard. And kissed his chest, just above his heart, so softly that she doubted he’d notice.
He tugged her up, kissing her thoroughly. “Hailey . . . I . . .”
He looked confused, overwhelmed.
She knew just how he felt.
His phone buzzed, and he looked at her with regret.
“Welcome to the real world,” she said, rolling off of him. “Go ahead. You should get that.”
He picked up his phone. “It’s a text,” he said. “From Susie.”
Her body felt cold without him warming her. She tugged the blanket around her. “What’s the news?”
He tensed. Then looked at her, his eyes unbelievably cold.
“They . . . I didn’t get my contract picked up,” he said, sounding as stunned as he looked. “They’re either replacing me or writing me out. Either way, I’m not part of Mystics anymore.”
She felt the pain that he was showing. She hugged him gently. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she said. “I know how much it meant to you.”
He held her tight, and in that minute, she fiercely wanted to scream at those stupid producers. Or beat the shit out of them. Yeah, that sounded better. Anything to punish them for putting that look of pain in her man.
She stopped dead in her mental tracks.
Her man.
“What are you going to do now?” she heard herself ask, even as she steeled herself for the response. “Go back to L.A., or San Diego, I guess?”
He was quiet.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I wasn’t able to help you at all, and you tried so hard. So damned hard.”
“That’s not true,” he said quickly, his blue eyes cutting to hers, reproving her. “You helped me more than you know. My agent’s gotten all kinds of offers since you helped boost my Q Score.”
She should’ve felt happier about that, she realized. But she felt like a failure.
“In fact—there’s a movie offer. For Bernardo . . . I forget the guy’s last name. He won the Oscar last year.”
“Oh, I know that guy!” Hailey said. “He’s really hot right now, right?”
“So she says,” he answered. “Anyway, the leading man for his latest production dropped out, and he wants me to step in. It’d be a lead role in a major film.”
“That’s fantastic,” she said, hugging him hard. “That’s wonderful.”
He was still quiet. “It’s in South America. Brazil.”
She stilled against him. “Oh.”
“I think it’s a three-month shoot.” He squeezed tighter. “And I’d have to leave immediately. Like, tomorrow.”
“So soon?” she asked in a tiny, weak voice.
So that was it. That was all.
She was losing him.
He pulled away from her, so he could look into her eyes. She tried to get her shit together, so she didn’t look so damned pathetic. She knew this arrangement between them was temporary. Feelings be damned, she knew this was just a bounce. A transaction. A short-term gig.
A con.
He kissed her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen after this,” he said. “But I know one thing. You and I aren’t done.”
She couldn’t help it. She smiled.
“That’s why I want you to come to Brazil with me.”
Chapter 10
Jake held his breath. Hailey was staring at him like she’d had an aneurysm, her mouth working wordlessly.
“You okay?” he finally asked.
“Brazil?” she repeated. “The country?”
He laughed. “Rio de Janeiro. Carnival. The big Jesus statue.” He chucked her chin. “That place with the parrots from the cartoon movie.”
She didn’t laugh back. “What am I . . . I mean . . . how long?”
“For as long as you can,” he said. “Shooting would be for at least three months.”
She goggled.
“I want you with me,” he said.
“Why?”
He laughed. “Oh, I can think of a few dozen reasons,” he drawled, stroking her skin.
“One would be better,” he thought he heard her say, under her breath. Before he could ask, she pulled away. “You can get sex from lots of women.”
He frowned. He’d freaked her out, he could tell. Why, though? Yeah, it was fast, and it was unexpected. But she wasn’t the type to be afraid of anything.
“Yeah, I can,” he said. “And I’ve had sex with a lot of other people. So have you. I don’t judge you for that, and I’d expect you not to judge me.”
“I’m not,” she said, her tone frustrated. “I’m just saying—you don’t need to bring me with you for just sex.” She smiled weakly. “They’ve got women in Brazil, I imagine.”
“There are no women like you.”
She was breathing, quick and shallow, and her pupils dilated. It was like passion—but it wasn’t, he knew. It was fear, pure and simple.
“I can’t be gone that long,” she said.
“I’ll fly you in as often as you want,” he said. “It’s kind of a long flight for just a weekend, but damn it, I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
“You’ve known me for just a week,” she said, her voice reedy, completely unlike her usual husky, rich tones. “This is sort of nuts.”
“I know,” he said. “Ride with it.”
“I . . .” She shook her head. “The sex is great.”
He waited. “But . . . ?”
“You can have it when you come back,” she said, her expression turning stubborn. “If you come back.”
“If?” It hit him like an open-handed bitch slap. “I’ve never asked anybody . . . I’m taking you to a whole other country.” Hell, when he’d had a girlfriend, it’d always been understood: he had his work, she usually had hers. He could go months without seeing someone he was in a relationship with, with the crazy meshing schedules of actors.
Hailey wasn’t like that—didn’t have that problem. And even if she was the next Jen
nifer Lawrence, he’d do whatever he could to keep her by his side.
“Yeah, you’ve got tons of money,” she said, her voice a little bitter. “And this is a great opportunity . . . for you. If you want to get ahead as an actor, boost your career, I think you should take it.”
That made him frown, for a different reason. It was something his father would say—only nicer.
She nodded, as if she’d made a decision. “I want you to take it.”
He was still stinging from not getting the Mystics renewal. He was heartbroken, he admitted to himself.
Having Hailey with him would cushion the blow, he realized. Was that the real reason he wanted her there?
Don’t try to make this reasonable, a little voice inside him scolded, insistent, just this side of clawing desperation. This isn’t about reason. You want this girl. You are crazy about her.
Do not let her go.
“We’ll figure it out. We’ll wing it,” he said quickly, as persuasively as possible. “We’ll hang out on beaches. You could be topless.”
She shook her head. “Tempting as that sounds . . .”
“We’ll have sex in a plane,” he said, his voice low, like a crossroad demon offering the bargain of her life. “In five-star hotels. In a tent on a beach, under the stars. Anything you want, any way you want. Just as long as I can have you.”
“What do you want with me, though?” She shook her head. “What will people think?”
“That we’re incredibly lucky?”
She smiled at that, but her eyes—she wasn’t there. Not yet. “You want me to be an international fuck-buddy?”
“Do you really give a fuck what other people think?”
That seemed to bring her up short. “And who’s going to look out for Cressida while I’m gone?”
He grimaced. He’d forgotten her family. “I can make sure you get back if she needs you,” he said, trying to gloss over the trickiness of those kinds of logistics.
“That would be hours. Maybe days,” she said, not falling for his salesmanship. “That’d be too long, especially if it’s an emergency.”
“She’s a grown woman,” he bit out.
“With a serious illness.”
“And you’re not her mother.”
It was the wrong thing to say. He knew it as soon as the words left his mouth.
She pulled the blanket tighter around her. “She’s family,” she ground out. She got off the bed, heading for the bathroom.
“I didn’t mean it,” he said. “Not that way.”
“You’ll say anything,” she shot back. “Just so you can keep fucking me. Is that it?”
“It’s more than that,” he said, his hand on the door frame of the bathroom. She washed her face, splashing cold water on herself, then pulled on the dress that she’d discarded on the floor the night before. “Don’t try to reduce what we’ve got . . .”
“What have we got?” Her voice was impassioned and sharp. “A week? We don’t even know each other.”
“But we will.”
“We have fucking,” she said. “And a guy who’s used to getting what he wants.”
“We have a woman who I care a lot about,” he said. “Who is scared enough to hide behind her sick sister to prevent herself from being vulnerable.”
Her eyes went wide. He saw tears glisten there, and felt guilt crush him like a boulder.
But he meant it.
“We’re done here,” she said. And turned toward the door.
He felt his heart breaking.
“I’ll call you a cab,” he said.
“Don’t bother,” she said, and stalked out like she had that first night—never looking back.
* * *
Hailey had managed to keep it together until she got back home. Thankfully, she’d managed to make it past Cressida’s room without Cressida waking up. She thought she heard Rachel moving around in her room, but Hailey slipped into her room almost silently, then collapsed onto her bed.
The tears started, and didn’t stop. She cried, silently, hugging the pillow to her, stifling any sobs in it.
How can I hurt this much?
It was her own fault. She’d let herself get too close. This wasn’t how she operated, for damn good reason. Lots of women would think she was crazy for passing up on a guy like Jake: rich, handsome, the best sex of her not inconsiderable experience. What the hell was her problem?
It would only get worse. She already felt addicted to him. Out of control with it.
She didn’t want to get hooked on anything she couldn’t keep.
You’re hiding behind your sick sister.
Now, that accusation pissed her off. Still, she was thankful for it, since it underlined exactly what was wrong with the whole offer. She thought he just wanted sex, fun—stuff she wanted, too. If he’d simply said, “Let’s hook up when I’m back in the area,” she would’ve kept the door open for him. But he wanted to cart her off, keep everything on his terms—have her at his beck and call, without thinking about what was most important to her. It wasn’t just a fun spur-of-the-moment fling anymore. It was . . . well, she wasn’t sure what the hell it was, but it wasn’t what she’d signed up for.
You don’t need him, she convinced herself. Or tried to.
She changed into her rattiest sweats and comfiest T-shirt and crawled under her covers. After an hour, she fell into a fitful sleep. She might’ve slept until the next day—except she heard a loud, really loud, squeal coming from Rachel’s room.
She was out of her bed like she’d been shot from a catapult, grabbing the baseball bat she kept by her bed. She sprinted up the stairs, throwing open the door.
She didn’t see anything wrong, she processed as she choked up on the bat’s handle, surveying for any threat. Rachel was just standing there with papers in her hand, laughing like an asylum inmate.
“Who? What? Who?” Hailey spluttered. “Rache, what the hell?”
Rachel laughed. “We did it. Two months, baby. Two whole months. And that’s net!”
“What?” Hailey repeated, still looking around for unseen assailants. “What the hell are you talking about? I got, like, no sleep last night . . .”
“I’ll bet,” Rachel said, her voice still shot through with joy. “I’m talking about the sale. We sold all the books, and the extra stuff—”
“Wait,” Hailey said, holding up a hand. “What extra stuff?”
“I got a bunch of memorabilia from the convention, and the guys signed it, along with some of the Mystics tie-in books I grabbed. We’re sold out of everything.” Rachel looked like she was going to explode, doing a little bouncing, spinning dance. “Everything!”
“And we made enough money to pay rent for two months?”
“Net!” Rachel repeated. She was wearing her work clothes. Hailey remembered absently that it was a Monday. Not that she had any job to go to, herself, Hailey thought. “I got up early to balance the books. We’re doing better than I’d hoped. We’ve got to keep momentum up, but I think pivoting the business, shifting focus from used books to fandoms, is just the boost we needed.”
Rachel’s smile was incandescent. Hailey walked over, hugging her.
“Thank you, Hailey,” Rachel said, hugging tighter before letting her go. “There’s no way we could’ve done this without the guys’ help. Tell Jake thank you from me.”
“Sure,” Hailey said, feeling a stab in the chest, thinking of Jake.
Rachel was too happy to notice her reticence. She supposed she ought to tell Rachel that they’d . . . what? Broken up? That the ruse was over?
Hailey shut down mulishly. Rachel would figure it out. Eventually.
“I’m going to grab some coffee and get to the office,” Rachel said. “Where are you today?”
Hailey frowned. “Nowhere today. But I’m going to look for a new job, something to replace the coffee shop income.”
Rachel’s bright expression dimmed somewhat. “Soon, you won’t have to work two jobs,” she s
aid. “We’ll pull this around. I swear it.”
Hailey shrugged. Truth be told, she’d rather be busy today. Maybe she’d help at the bookstore, and they were sure to have some spillover clients from the convention and yesterday’s promo. If not, she might finally clean out the freezer. It spoke volumes about her state of mind that she was willing to scrub.
Rachel gave her another quick hug, then bolted for the kitchen. Hailey headed down the stairs to her own room more slowly. Now that she was awake—and frightened into wakefulness, at that—there was no way she was easily going back to sleep.
Cressida peeked her head out of her bedroom. “Everything okay?” For as long as Hailey had known her, Cressida was a perpetually light sleeper.
With damn good reason.
“Everything’s fine. The bookstore’s netted two months because of the sale.” Hailey felt her heart ease, just a little, from the look of relief on Cressida’s face. “So there’s that.”
But Cressida was more attuned to Hailey than Rachel was, and her eyes narrowed, scanning Hailey like an X-ray.
“What did you do?” she asked finally, her voice low and suspicious.
“I didn’t do anything.” Hailey crossed her arms.
“Get in here,” Cressida said, dragging her in and shutting the door. “That bullshit might work on Rachel, but we’ve known each other too long. What happened?” She paused, then her blue eyes sparked. “Did Jake do something to hurt you?”
“No!”
Cressida’s eyes glinted dangerously. “I will call Kyla,” she said. “And Mallory, and Tessa. I will activate the whole damned phone tree.”
“He didn’t hurt me deliberately,” Hailey amended. “And nothing physical.”
But yeah, he did something. And yeah, she was hurting.
Worse, she did what she always did when she felt frightened and hurt. She hurt him back.
“We just didn’t work out,” Hailey finished, her voice quiet.
“Spill.” Cressida sat on her bed, looking surprisingly fierce in her fleece pajamas.
Hailey sighed. “I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain. He got canned from the show.”
One True Pairing: A Geek Girl Rom Com (Fandom Hearts) Page 19