“That sounds…” Nice, she almost said, until she remembered it wasn’t possible. “Wait, I can’t tomorrow. Kim’s coming over to babysit while I have dinner with the father of Elsa’s student.”
“Since when do you have dinner with a student’s parents?”
“I don’t usually, but he insisted.”
Seth narrowed his eyes. “This dude…he’s the one who suggested dinner?”
“Yeah.” She shot him a questioning look. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“Nope.” His lips tightened. “But you are aware that this is a date, right?”
Surprise jolted through her. “No, it’s not. We’re just meeting to discuss his daughter’s progress.”
Seth looked unconvinced. “Didn’t you say she’s Elsa’s student?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then shouldn’t he be meeting with Elsa?”
“Yes, but—”
Seth smirked. “But what? Let me guess, he refuses to discuss this with anyone but you. You, the smoking-hot, highly desirable former showgirl who runs the school.”
She couldn’t help but gape at him. “Are you suggesting he wants in my pants?”
“It isn’t a suggestion, babe. It’s a stone-cold fact.”
“Oh come on. That’s just silly. I’m not going on a date with this man.”
“Does he know that?”
There was no mistaking the hard note in his voice, or the cloud of jealousy that turned his eyes from gray to turbulent silver. Was that it? Was he jealous? The notion was pretty damn gratifying—it was so rare to see Seth get rattled about anything. But it was also annoying as hell, because tomorrow’s dinner with Eric Porter was not a date.
“Yes, he knows it,” she replied firmly. “We’re seeing each other in a professional capacity.”
Seth’s jaw was tense and inflexible. “It’s a date, Miranda.”
“Jeez! Stop saying that.” Yet even in her annoyance, she found herself laughing.
“Fine, I’ll stop—if you say yes to the other thing we were talking about.”
Her laughter faded. “Say yes to dating you, you mean.”
“Yup.”
“Seth…I don’t know.” When she glimpsed the disappointment in his eyes, she released a sigh. “This isn’t the kind of decision I can make without giving it some serious thought. I have to consider how dating you will affect my children, how it will affect the life I’m trying to build for them. I know you say you’ll make an effort, but what if you do and you discover that you actually just hate kids? I don’t want Sophie and Jason getting attached to you, only for you to disappear from their lives.”
“I understand. I really do.” He hesitated. “What if we start with something small? A way for me to dip my toes in the water, for lack of a better way to phrase it.”
“Meaning what?”
“Instead of Kim babysitting tomorrow, why don’t I do it?”
Her brows lifted in surprise. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. How long do you think the date will last? An hour, two?”
“Probably, and it’s not a date.”
“So let me watch the kids. And I promise, I won’t hold back this time. I won’t keep my distance or try to pretend they’re not there.”
“And if you do all that and decide you really don’t want to be around them?”
“I don’t think that will happen.”
“But if it does?”
“If it does, then we end this.” Unhappiness underlined each word. “I can’t do a fling anymore, babe. For some baffling reason, I actually want more than sex from you. Trust me, that’s never fucking happened before.”
She offered a faint smile. “I imagine.”
“But you can’t have a relationship with a man who doesn’t love your kids.” A resigned light entered his eyes. “I know myself. If by the time you get home I’m not convinced I can be what you want me to be for those kids, then we say good-bye. And you don’t have to worry about the twins getting hurt. I’ll just be babysitting them for a couple of hours, and they’re not overly attached to me at the moment, anyway. Besides, if we do end this, Sophie will probably organize a parade. She hates me.”
Miranda’s lips twitched. “She doesn’t hate you.”
“Liar. You know she does.” He searched her face. “Well?”
Indecision skipped through her, but the genuine hope softening Seth’s rugged features made the decision for her. “All right. You can watch the twins tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, then reached for his hand and pulled him off the couch. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she rested her cheek on his chest and murmured, “Thank you for my birthday presents. The cupcake and the orgasm.”
His fingers threaded through her hair, stroking gently. “You’re welcome. And thank you. For listening. And for not laughing me right out of the room when I asked you to give this a shot.” He brought his lips close to her ear. “And most of all, thank you for agreeing to let me babysit your children while you’re out on your date.”
She huffed out an irritated breath. “It’s not a date!”
17
The next morning, Miranda had a bitch of a time getting both her kids in the same room together. Jason was running around the apartment throwing a baseball in the air, and when she finally got his butt settled on the living room couch, Sophie darted off to find her doll, only to get distracted by one of the sparrows out in the backyard, the one that was supposedly out to get her. So while Miranda was calming down her daughter and assuring her that sparrows were harmless, Jason took off again, this time ducking under the kitchen table to play with his little green army men.
Needless to say, by the time she finally had both kids in front of her, she was exhausted, flustered and kind of sweaty.
“Okay, guys, this is serious. I really need you to listen,” she said, sinking into the small armchair next to the couch. “Sophie, put Emily down. Jason, I know you have one of those soldiers in your mouth. Spit it out. Now.”
Emily and a green soldier landed on the coffee table with a thud.
“All right. Are you listening?”
They nodded.
“Mommy’s going out for dinner tonight, so—”
“I wanna go to dinner too,” Jason interrupted.
“Me too!” Sophie piped up.
“I’m sorry, guys, but you can’t. It’s a business meeting, so it’s going to be super boring. Trust me, you’ll have a lot more fun at home.” Remaining casual, she added, “With Seth.”
Sophie gasped in pure horror. “Sef’s coming?”
Jason beamed with pure delight. “Sef’s coming?”
“Yep. He’s coming over to hang out with you while I have my business meeting.”
“I don’t want Sef! I want Dylan,” Sophie retorted.
“Dylan is busy tonight,” Miranda lied. “But Seth was free, and guess what, he’s so excited about coming over. He said he really wants to watch a movie with you guys, and make popcorn, and maybe even play in the yard for a bit.”
Sophie looked so dubious that Miranda almost laughed.
“Is Sef gonna get me from Ricky’s house?” Jason’s jaw dropped as another thought occurred to him. “Is Sef gonna come to my game?”
“I’m afraid he won’t be at the game, kiddo. Coach Diaz will drop you off at home afterwards.” She glanced at Sophie. “And you get to drive in Ginny’s cool convertible. She’ll bring you home while I wrap up my last class. You and Seth will hang out until your brother gets home.”
Now Sophie was the one gaping. “I hafta be alone with Sef?”
“She gets to be alone with Sef? No fair!”
Miranda sighed. “Enough, guys. Close your mouths before bugs start flying in there.” She gave each of them a strict look. “I expect you to be on your best behavior tonight. You’re going to treat Seth with the same respect you give to me and Kim, understand?”
They nodded, Sophie albeit
reluctantly.
“And no running in the house.” She glanced at Jason. “No indoor baseball, Jase. And you—” she pointed at Sophie, “—don’t you dare throw things at the bird feeder again.”
Fine, so maybe she was stacking the deck in Seth’s favor a little, but the man was making an effort, so why shouldn’t her kids do the same?
“Are we good?” She looked from one child to the other.
“Yup,” they said in unison.
But there was no mistaking the tiny glimmer of mischief in her daughter’s eyes.
Uh-oh.
With a sigh, she got to her feet. “All right, let’s get you two dressed. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”
* * *
Seth’s palms were unusually damp as he waited in Miranda’s living room for the kids to come home. He’d let himself in with the spare key she’d given him last night at the club, and it felt weird being in Miranda’s apartment when she wasn’t there.
He couldn’t believe he’d agreed to watch her kids this evening.
Agreed?
Right. Try offered.
And Miranda was actually trusting him with her kids. The woman had a lot more faith in him than he had in himself.
The irony didn’t escape him—he was a Navy SEAL, for fuck’s sake. He could carry out a hazardous black-ops mission in his sleep, infiltrate a terrorist cell’s lair without batting an eye, throw himself in the line of fire without hesitation. He’d saved lives before. Many, many lives. His government specifically entrusted him with the task of saving lives.
And yet he was terrified that he wouldn’t be able to protect a pair of six-year-olds.
He gulped when he heard the front door open. Footsteps thudded, a female voice wafting from the hall. A moment later, a petite blonde with pale gray eyes entered the living room, holding hands with a frowning Sophie.
“You must be Seth,” she said. Her eyes gleamed appreciatively. “I’m Ginny, one of the instructors at the school. Miranda says you’re babysitting tonight.”
“Yep.” He rose from the couch and walked over to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you, Ginny. Hey, Sophie.”
The little girl stared at him in surprise. He suddenly realized this was the first time he’d ever addressed her by name.
“Hi,” she said suspiciously.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it then.” Ginny smiled again. “Oh, and Miranda wanted me to remind you that she left money for pizza in the jar next to the fridge.”
Seth resisted a snort. They’d argued over the phone this morning about how he wasn’t going to let her pay for dinner, and as far as he was concerned, he’d won the argument already.
“I’ll walk you out,” he told Ginny.
They headed for the door, the blonde tossing out a light “have fun” before she left.
When Seth returned to the living room, Sophie was standing exactly where he’d left her. She had a little pink duffel bag slung over one shoulder, and she wore red cotton shorts, a black T-shirt with yellow stars on it and black ballet flats. Her hair was up in a ponytail, brown eyes flickering with mistrust.
“So.” He cleared his throat. “What do you want to do until your brother gets home?”
“I dunno.” Her lack of enthusiasm was hardly promising.
Smothering a sigh, he took her duffel bag and set it aside. “Come on, I’m sure there’s something you want to do. We can watch a movie or go out in the backyard or draw a picture—pick anything you want.”
“Anything?”
He could’ve sworn he saw a devilish gleam in her eyes.
“Anything,” he echoed.
“Fine. I wanna play with my dolls and make their hair pretty so they can dance at the recital.”
God help him.
From the smirk she gave him, he knew Sophie expected him to recoil in horror. Maybe revert back to the Seth she’d called mean, and tell her to get lost.
When he didn’t answer right away, she crossed her skinny arms over her chest and said, “I knew you wouldn’t wanna.” She scowled. “You wouldna be good at it anyway.”
Seth raised a defiant brow, then squatted down so they were at eye level. “Sophie, I’m a United States Navy SEAL. Know what that means?”
She shifted uneasily, then shook her head.
“It means I can do whatever I set my mind to, so if you think I can’t give your dolls some awesome hairstyles, I’m ready to prove you wrong.”
She giggled, then clapped a hand over her mouth as if she couldn’t believe she’d dropped her guard around him.
“So you ready to do this, or what?” he challenged.
As Sophie dashed off to get her dolls, he gave a brisk nod, declaring himself the winner of round one. In fact, he planned on winning every damn round tonight, if only to prove to Miranda that he had what it took to be her boyfriend.
Boyfriend. Christ, he couldn’t believe he even wanted to be someone’s boyfriend.
Well, not just anyone’s boyfriend. Miranda’s.
He was falling for the woman.
He was actually fucking falling for her, and wasn’t that another dose of irony right there. He’d always believed love was a choice, that you had to be open to it in order to feel it, but his feelings for Miranda had crept up on him. One day he was thinking about how much he wanted to fuck her, the next he was fantasizing about holding her hand and making her laugh and seeing her eyes light up with joy.
She was the strongest woman he’d ever met, not to mention stubborn, resilient, compassionate, generous. He’d never been in a serious relationship before, but he wasn’t averse to the idea either, and if there was anyone he could picture himself with for the long haul, it was Miranda. And if she could penetrate the shield he always threw up, then why couldn’t her kids? All he had to do was lower his guard and give himself a chance to care about those children.
And it wasn’t difficult to care about a kid like Sophie. For the next thirty minutes, Seth had a blast with the girl. They were sprawled on the living room floor on the brand-new hardwood that sparkled from the sunlight streaming in through the window. Sophie had brought out half a dozen dolls, along with tiny doll accessories—hair elastics, little pink hairbrushes, barrettes and clips of all shapes and colors.
If any of the guys had asked, he would’ve said it was the lamest thing he’d ever done in his life.
The truth?
It was pretty fuckin’ fun.
As his huge fingers tried to grip a teeny hairbrush to brush the silky hair of an anatomically-incorrect Barbie, Sophie was laughing at him so hard her face had turned beet red.
“You have giant fingers!” Pure glee radiated from her little body.
“I can’t help it,” he said defensively. “Okay, new plan. You do the hair brushing, I’ll braid this foxy mama’s hair.” He reached for the voluptuous Latina doll in the hot-pink minidress.
“Deal,” Sophie said.
They were so absorbed in their respective tasks that their heads jerked up in surprise when they heard the front door fly open.
“I’m home!”
A second later, Jason skidded into the living room, halting when he noticed what Seth and his sister were up to. “You’re playing with dolls?”
Seth couldn’t have answered the question if his life depended on it. The second he laid eyes on Jason, his throat closed up to the point that he couldn’t suck in a single breath, and he felt like he’d just gotten knocked in the gut with an iron beam.
Holy fucking shit. He was going to have a panic attack. His heart raced, and his palms were tingling. Black dots appeared in his vision—he actually welcomed them, because that meant he didn’t have to focus on the little boy standing in the doorway. The white-and-blue-striped uniform and blue baseball cap and little black sneakers.
The hat was the wrong color, though. It was supposed to be red.
“—fun and you don’t hafta.” Sophie’s haughty voice broke through Seth’s anxiety attack, but it sounded tinny and incredi
bly far away. “Me and Sef are making Emily and her friends pretty. You can play with Sef after.”
“Can we? Can we play after?”
He felt a pair of eager brown eyes boring into him. He couldn’t do it, though. He couldn’t look at Adam again or else he might pass out.
Jason.
Shit. That wasn’t Adam. It was Jason.
He bit hard on the insides of both cheeks, doing his best to breathe, to control his dangerously fast heartbeat.
“Can we play catch outside when you finish playing dolls?” Jason asked.
Seth abruptly shot to his feet, the doll in his hand falling to the floor with a thump.
“Hey!” Sophie protested, lunging for the doll.
“I…I’m going out for a smoke,” he blurted out.
He felt both children watching him in confusion, but he ignored them as he hurried to the kitchen.
One foot in front of the other. Keep walking. Don’t think about that fucking baseball uniform.
Yeah, maybe he would’ve stood a chance, if Jason hadn’t scampered after him like a dog nipping at his owner’s heels.
“Please, Sef?” Jason pleaded. “I wanna show you how good I pitch!”
He swallowed. His throat was so clogged it burned. Memories he’d banished years ago came out of exile. Adam used to beg him to play catch too. Sometimes he’d say yes. Most times he’d scoff and tell him to quit being a whiny brat.
Agony constricted his heart. He’d been a total shit back then too, hadn’t he?
Should’ve been you, man. Should’ve been you.
Seth’s eyes started to sting, his hands shaking so badly it was a miracle he managed to dig his cigarette pack from the front pocket of his button-down. It took two tries to open the sliding door that led to the backyard. Five tries to get his fingers to work the lighter. And then he inhaled a lungful of smoke in a pull so long and so deep he got a head rush.
He exhaled in shaky puffs. It was still light out, but the sun was beginning to dip toward the horizon.
“And I wanna show you my new mitt,” Jason was babbling. “Mom got me a new one because my old one got wet from the storm but the old one still works great so now I have two gloves.”
Out of Uniform Box Set: Books 4-6 plus 2 Bonus Novellas Page 21