by Kimber White
I had a million questions. “Was he yours? Jared? Are you Tucker’s grandmother?”
Pat shook her head. “No, honey. Tucker’s a full blooded were like his father and grandfather before him. Luke had a mate before me. Sela. I heard she was glorious. She fought alongside Luke during the last pack war. I never got the chance to meet her. But she was killed by a rival Alpha during that war. That was just before the pack came here to Wild Lake for sanctuary.”
I swallowed hard. “And Harold got hurt when they did, didn’t he?”
Pat nodded. “He was just a boy. Sixteen. He’d made fast friends with some of the younger boys in Luke’s pack. When the threat came, he thought he could be just as brave as they were. He wanted to protect his friends. I think in a lot of ways that made him even braver. But, like I said, he was just a kid. The first time I laid eyes on Luke, he was coming over that hill. The sun was fading and I saw him in shadow. Bold and strong. He was carrying my brother’s limp, bleeding body in his arms and I thought for sure he was dead. I was eighteen years old and it’s still the most glorious and horrifying thing my eyes have ever seen.”
“He saved Harold’s life,” I said, my own voice raw with emotion.
Pat smiled. “He did. And from that day on, my father told Luke that he and his pack had a place here for as long as our families lived. A place to hunt and raise their families in peace. And they have. Oh, they stray from time to time, but the wolves of Wild Lake always come back home. And when Harold and I die, the land goes to Tucker and his children. And it’s not like Tucker and the others couldn’t afford to buy this land a thousand times over. But this land has been in my family for a hundred and fifty years.”
Tucker’s children. Children he meant to have with me. The thought thrilled me and terrified me. “You and Luke never had any of your own?” I asked.
Pat’s eyes went dark. “Not with Luke, no. Weres usually only have one or two children at most. When I met Luke, he already had Jared and Lucia. That was Jared’s sister. Luke and I decided it was best if he didn’t bring me into heat. He had his children. I had him. I wasn’t quite forty when Luke died. I had my boy then.”
Pat looked toward the fire. She pressed her thumb across her lips. She had a son thirty years ago. I waited for her to tell me more about him but she shut her eyes tight, warding off something deep and painful.
“Did you lose him?” I whispered, placing a gentle hand on her knee.
She exhaled and smiled at me. “I lost him ten years ago.” Pat sat back in her chair. I didn’t want to make her talk about things that caused her pain, so I changed the subject as quickly as I could.
“You can decide whether to go into heat?”
Pat’s eyes narrowed. “Hasn’t your man explained all of this? Sounds like I need to twist that boy’s ear and get him to heel next time I see him.”
The image made me laugh, in large part because I knew Pat was entirely capable of pulling it off. “He told me it can take years before a mate can come into a full heat.”
She nodded. “That’s true for humans like you and me, yes. It’s different with full-blooded she-weres. They don’t need a man to bring them into it.”
Pat got that look in her eye again, and I imagined she was thinking about four or five other thing she could do to Tucker when she saw him again. But she answered my questions, and it’s one of the reasons I loved her so. I didn’t always like to hear it, but Pat Bonner would always tell me the truth when I asked for it.
She let out a full-throated laugh. “Someday soon we need to start up a Wild Lake Woman’s Book Club or something. Get some of the younger girls up here. You need more than just crusty old me around you telling you the facts of life were-style.”
I started to protest at how much I loved crusty old her, but the idea of having other women around I might call friends caused a new spark within me. And as I looked at Pat, something crossed her face yet again, and I knew she must be thinking about Luke, her son, and all of the friends she had lost over the years. I tried to steer the conversation to easier waters.
“Tucker has an Aunt Lucia? He’s never mentioned her.”
She smiled and shot me a quick wink. “Oh, you two are still just in the beginning part, honey. Tucker has many stories to tell. We haven’t seen Lucia in years and years. She mated with an Alpha from the Yukon. The packs are kind of clannish. The Yukon packs wouldn’t come into the Wild Lake pack’s territory without a damn good reason, and a hell of a lot of negotiating beforehand. Causes too much friction if they try.”
I blew a breath out hard. “Like Asher.”
“Yep. If he’d have just stayed south, we’d all get some peace around here. It’s going to have to get settled soon, one way or another. Asher wants Michigan. And there’s no reason for it other than spite, as far as I know. He claimed a pack in Kentucky. He should focus on fighting for more lands down there. Tucker likes to blame himself for splitting the pack all those years ago, but that’s foolish. Marcus wasn’t strong enough to hold on to it. Jared thought he would be, but he was wrong. Tucker did what Alphas do. Asher could have challenged him, but he didn’t. He started his own pack. I don’t know why he won’t just leave it be.”
“Because of me,” I answered. I took a deep breath and told Pat what happened with Magda. How Asher blamed me for killing her and how I believed Magda wanted to die.
“You need to lay down that guilt right now, honey. Tucker told you the truth. That girl was headed for trouble long before you ever came into the picture. She was what you girls like to call a hot mess. The only thing she had going for her was that she was full blooded were. There are precious few she-weres around anymore. She was Tucker’s at one time. Or tried to be. It didn’t work out. So what does she do? She runs off to be with Asher, knowing full well that was gonna stir things up between the packs again. Good riddance. I said it then and I’ll say it now. I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but there you have it. Don’t lose another second thinking about Magda. Using you as an instrument in her suicide was another act of cowardice as far as I’m concerned. I know that’s not a kind opinion to have, but I’ve been around long enough to have earned it.”
“But then Tucker chose me. He had to know that was going to stir things up even more.”
Pat rose from her chair and came to sit beside me on the hearth. “He knew a good thing when he saw it. And you are. You’ve brought harmony to this pack like I haven’t seen since before Luke died. You ground them. Give them something to fight for as a unit. You’ll build a family with Tucker, if that’s what you want. Then the others will find mates for themselves and the pack will grow again. For the first time since Tucker took over as Alpha, I’m starting to believe I’ll get to live to see it.”
I put my arms around Pat and hugged her close. She was warm, soft, and smelled like baked goods. I wanted her to live to see all the things she described. A strange mixture of jealousy and excitement hummed through me when she spoke of the rest of the pack taking mates. They could be like sisters I’d never had. And all of it came back to Tucker.
“He’ll be back soon,” Pat said. “Don’t worry.”
I reached out with my heart and mind to see how far away Tucker and the pack were. I felt him, faintly. He seemed farther away then he ought to be. It had been like that ever since Mal’s heartbeat entered my own. I willed myself not to also reach out for Mal, though I was tempted. I could not love two Alphas, and Tucker was mine. What happened with Mal had torn him away from me, and it was time to fix that tear. I needed him here. I just hoped he could forgive me for what almost happened.
“I can’t hear him as well as I used to,” I whispered against Pat’s shoulder, afraid that giving voice to my fears might make them stronger.
“You will.” She pulled away and sat on the hearth next to me. “You’ll pull apart a thousand times before you’re through. That’s not the thing that matters. If you grow stronger together every time he comes back, that’s how you build a partnership.
Those are the ones that last.”
“I hope you’re right.”
She nodded. “Trust that I am. I know Tucker. I know the pack. As long as you know what’s in your own heart, you can’t go wrong.”
Just outside, Pat’s wind chimes off the porch started to clang wildly. The chimes inside the house started up again too as Harold crashed down the stairs and into the kitchen, hitting every hanging tin along the way.
“They’re coming back,” he hollered. “Can’t you women smell it? They’re coming in from the woods to the west. Get a move on!”
My back stiffened as I closed my eyes. Tucker was there, like he always was. But if he was close enough for Harold to smell, he should feel so much stronger within me. I said Pat’s words in my head again for comfort. You’ll pull apart a thousand times. That’s not the thing that matters.
I called out to Tucker with my mind, praying he could hear me.
I love you. I need you. Come back.
The wind chimes twisted and clanged as Pat, Harold, and I went to the front door. Tucker was coming back. He was very close. And he held a dangerous rage that thumped wildly inside my own heart.
Chapter Thirty-One
Harold and Pat stood in the doorway together. They formed a human shield, shoving me behind them as we watched the edge of the woods. Tucker appeared first, tall and strong. He held his tail high and his ears pricked as he emerged through the tree line. Reed and Barrett came next, standing shoulder to shoulder with their leader.
As he came into the clearing, Tucker’s steps were slow, deliberate, and predatory. He, Reed, and Barrett stood at the foot of the porch steps. His silver eyes flashed wild and fixed on me. My heart trilled at the sight of him.
“Where’s Jake?” Pat said. She and Harold didn’t budge, holding their human barrier between me and the wolves. Until we understood Tucker’s rage, they meant to protect me from it. I loved them for it, but wanted to run down the steps and take Tucker’s powerful head in my hands and quell the beast inside.
I listened for Jake. Just as I sensed him, he bounded out from the woods, shaking off his fur as he loped across the yard to stand at Barrett’s shoulder.
Harold finally took a step forward. He tilted his head from side to side, as though his eyes, sightless for decades, still yearned to focus. He kept his back straight, his stance wide. It was a gesture Tucker and the others understood. The pack was welcome here, but this was still Harold’s house, and they wouldn’t take another step unless he invited them to.
Tucker made a quick bow of his head. Fat droplets of rain ran down his snout. Though Harold couldn’t see him do it, he must have sensed the change in the pack. Though I loved them for doing it, I wasn’t going to hang back a second longer. Tucker was my Alpha. This was my pack. Whatever happened, I wanted to face it head on. I took a step onto the porch.
Tucker and the pack shifted in a perfect synchrony of rolling fur and twisting muscles. The four of them stood before us, rain dripping off their chiseled bodies. Each of them had their perfectly formed male physiques on full display. Pat turned and ran down the hall with a speed I didn’t know she had. She came back holding a stack of white bath towels.
“Get under the roof and dry yourselves off. I’ll not have the four of you coming into my house like that, and dripping all over my freshly polished floor boards. Plus, I don’t need all those cocks flying around my face, for God’s sake.”
Harold cocked his head, “Well, time was . . .”
Pat reached over and backhanded him in the head before Harold could finish his sentence. It cut the tension in the air considerably and I tried not to laugh.
My eyes found Tucker’s again. He tucked his towel low around his hips and walked toward me. My flesh seared hot where his fingers closed around my wrist as he started to lead me into the house. Before we crossed the threshold, Harold stuck his cane out and blocked Tucker’s path.
“I know I don’t have to remind you to mind your manners when you’re under my roof, Tucker.”
Tucker looked back at him, working the muscles of his jaw. He reached over and put a hand on Harold’s arm as he nodded once and turned back toward the door. Harold narrowed his sightless eyes, but tucked the cane back under his arm.
I followed Tucker into the bedroom and took a seat on the edge of the bed as he paced in front of me. My mind was a swirl of emotions. I missed him. I was angry with him for staying away so long. I wanted his hands on me. And then there were my own swelling urges. It had been days since we’d been together. The incident with Mal had stirred the wildness within me too. Sweat trickled between my breasts and made my hands clammy.
I sat with my hands under my thighs, fighting back the urge to reach out and touch him. Tucker wore a path in front of me. He tore a hand through his hair and his nostrils flared with each hard breath he took. Still, he said nothing. After several days in the woods, it would take time for him to control the beast and act like a man again. A part of me didn’t want him to. I wanted to go to him, have him claim me like he did the first time. My body cried out for it. There was wildness within me, too, and I struggled just as hard as he did to contain it. My sex ached for him. My breath was ragged. He had to sense it and yet still he wouldn’t touch me or talk to me.
He was coiled tight. The muscles of his strong back bunched and rolled. He’d cast the towel Pat gave him aside and my eyes went to his powerful thighs as he stalked the room. At any moment, I expected him to shift back into his wolf. His thick cock bobbed up and down, stiff as a board.
Finally, I couldn’t stand it another second. “Tucker,” I said, my voice scratched like sand paper. “I feel like I need to tell you I’m sorry, but I don’t know if I did anything wrong. I can’t feel you like I need to. Tell me what’s happening. Please!”
He stopped pacing and turned. He took a strong stride toward me, standing directly in front of me so I had to crane my neck to meet his eyes. When I did, his blazed hot with lust, rage, and something else.
“Did Mal try to force himself on you?” Tucker’s voice came out in almost a low growl. Oh yes, his wolf was just there too.
“What? No. Not in the way you think. Tucker, nothing happened in that barn that I didn’t want. And nothing happened at all. With Reed and Barrett, it was different. Like you said. They were a diversion. It was different with Mal. I think he wanted to claim me the same way you did.”
His nostrils flared again and Tucker curled his fists at his side.
“And Mal was in my head, my heart the same way you are. It was so loud I couldn’t hear anything else. I couldn’t hear you. God, that scared me so much. And then you howled and it stopped him. But if you hadn’t . . .”
Tucker dug his fist into his thigh. “He’s out of the pack. For good. Do you understand that?”
I swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m sorry.”
Tucker’s eyes went wide and filled with pain. Then he went to his knees in front of me. He put his hands on my thighs and looked me square in the eye. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Mal did. He was too much of a coward to challenge me outright. So he went after you. He can never, ever come back now. He can’t have what’s mine.”
Tucker rose again, towering before me. He was strong and powerful except for the pain etched in his face and haunting his beautiful blue-grey eyes. “Are you still mine, Neve?”
My heart shredded in that moment. I couldn’t stand not touching him for another second. How could he ask me that? I was here. I had restarted my life with him. If it came to it, I knew I could kill for him, just as he would for me. Words meant nothing, though. Not when the essence of this man was something so wild. It had become the essence of me, too. So, I wouldn’t say another word, but I would answer him once and for all.
I went to my knees before him. I took the length of him in my mouth, stretching my neck to keep eye contact as I began to suck him. I slid my hands up his thighs and around his ass, holding him in place as I took my time with him. Tucker closed his eyes and
threw his head back. He moaned before he looked back down at me, his wolf eyes glinting silver.
I sucked and stroked, swirling my tongue up and down. I held his heavy balls in one hand and kneaded them. He was so full. So tense. I wanted nothing more to take it all away. I was his. That had never changed. Where my words failed me, let my actions speak.
Tucker took a step back and I dropped down to all fours, never breaking suction. I breathed heavy through my nose as I kept up a punishing rhythm. Strong as he was, Tucker’s knees buckled as I kept it up. He weaved his hands through my hair, pulling me down on him, making me take him so deep it gagged me. But, I loved it. Loved how the sounds my mouth made seemed to drive him even wilder. My own desires crashed through the surface. As I sucked and stroked, I grew soaked between my legs . . . dripping for him.
I ached to have him touch me. I wanted him to fill me deep, and keep me forever. I’d have him explode in my mouth first. I kept my eyes fixed on his, so he knew. He’d asked me if I was still his.
Yes! The answer was yes. Now and always. My Alpha’s mark flared hot. Tucker’s heart beat louder in my ears. But still, I needed more of him. I shuddered and quaked as I kept on sucking. Finally, Tucker couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled himself out of me, breaking my suction with a pop!
He groaned and came around behind me, keeping one hand flat on my back in a wordless command for me to stay put. As he positioned himself, I spread my knees wide, giving him better access. Tucker slid his hand up my spine as he rooted himself deep, making me gasp.
“Don’t move,” he whispered, his breath sending gooseflesh rippling up my back and settling on the mark at my neck.
Tucker began his pounding thrusts, and I gripped the floorboards with my nails to stay in place. Then Tucker leaned forward. He gathered my hair in one hand and pulled my head back, forcing me to arch my back as far as I could as he fucked me hard and deep. I cried out from the pleasure. Solid though they were, the floorboards wouldn’t muffle the sound of our mating from anyone in the house who cared to listen. But, I didn’t care. Somehow, I knew he needed the pack to know I had taken him in. He was mine and I was his.