“They love you, Nate. Of course they forgive you.”
Nate laughed and palmed the car keys in his pocket. He needed to get out of here. Talking about this wasn’t helping his mood.
“You know what Max said to me that night? He said that just because someone hurts you it doesn’t mean you stop loving them. Do you think that’s true, Josh?”
“I do. It sounds like you don’t believe it, though.”
He wanted it to be true more than anything.
* * *
The present…
“That’s pretty much it,” Nate said, barely able to look Paige in the eyes after the whole sordid tale. The mere thought that she might have seen some of those detailed articles about his sexual proclivities made him sick to his stomach. Most women wouldn’t care or would think it was arousing to know so much about him. He doubted Paige was in either of those categories. She was a mother and how could she approve of his behavior? He was a kinky bastard.
“Lots of people have done worse than you did.” She placed a hand on his knee and his skin burned through the thick denim of his jeans. “It wasn’t like you were caught in a cheap roadside motel with a pound of blow, a bottle of tequila, and a couple of underage cheerleaders. Like you said, you were all adults.”
“Hollywood wasn’t mad about the sex. They were mad that I didn’t make the showmance with Stella look real. People didn’t believe us as a couple.”
Laughter bubbled up from Paige’s full pink lips. “No shit. When I saw those first photos of you two I think I rolled my eyes so hard I sprained my eyelids. As a couple you made no sense whatsoever.”
In his naïveté, he’d thought he could sell anything but now he realized they’d never looked right together. The party girl and the serious actor.
“You don’t like her?” Nate questioned. “I thought all of America liked her.”
“There is no way three hundred million people like her. Maybe some do, but I never bought that innocent as the driven snow act she likes to sell. Somehow she always seems to be in the middle of some mess and eventually you have to say to yourself, maybe it’s her.”
It was Nate’s turn to laugh. “It is her. She loves that. But the whole thing taught me so much and now I know to give them what they want. Nate is just an ordinary guy, not exciting. They want bigger than life.”
Rubbing her chin, she grimaced, her expression full of sympathy.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, handsome, but you learned the wrong lesson.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Paige stuck her tongue out at her reflection in the mirror. Slim black jeans topped with a cream colored sweater. Simple jewelry and makeup. She was wearing her hair down tonight and she’d blown it into glossy waves that just brushed her shoulders. In deference to Nate’s height she was wearing a pair of black boots that lifted her about three inches, which wasn’t nearly enough, but it was all she could handle. Sober or drunk.
It was a mini-reveal tonight. A party with Nate’s friends. It wasn’t the public at large but in many ways this was more important. These opinions might actually be important to him and she wanted to make a good impression even if the relationship wasn’t real. If they were his friends, she hoped they’d become hers too. A year was a long time for a guy’s friends to not like a person.
“You look absolutely gorgeous, love. How will I keep the men away from you?”
That smooth accent never ceased to send shivers down her spine and tonight was no exception. She was becoming addicted to listening to him speak and she’d be concerned about that if she didn’t enjoy it so damn much.
“I’m wearing jeans and a sweater, handsome. Nothing special.”
She’d been told the party was “casual, come as you are”. He better not have been mistaken, although he too was wearing jeans and a button down shirt along with a black vest that made the outfit more than everyday but not too dressy. He’d gelled his curls slightly and hadn’t shaved since this morning, leaving a lovely stubble that begged to be touched.
“You make nothing special look spectacular, darling. Everyone will know I’m the luckiest man on the planet.”
She paused in applying her blush, the huge makeup brush resting against her cheek.
“Yes, you are.”
He threw back his head and laughed. “I’m glad we agree. Now, are you ready to dance the night away with me?”
“Like it’s 1999,” she assured him with a laugh. “I’ve warned you though. What I lack in actual talent I make up for with enthusiasm.”
Nate quirked an eyebrow. “It’s going to be an interesting night.”
“That’s one way to put it. Might I say that you look very handsome this evening. Love the vest. Very British.”
He touched the hem and grinned. “Waistcoat.”
“Vest.”
“Waistcoat.”
Paige shrugged and reached for her lip gloss. “Either way you look like the movie star you are.”
“Darling, what a sweet thing to say.” He glanced down at his clothes. “Maybe I should wear the black button down?”
He was worse than she was, always worried about his outfit.
“That won’t go with the vest and believe me, it’s the vest that makes that outfit. Besides, we don’t have time. We’re already late.”
“We’ll make a grand entrance.”
She rolled her eyes and took one last look at her hair. “And we all know how much I love that. I’m already nervous as it is. I’m meeting your friends tonight. I want to make a good impression.”
“They’ll love you. You don’t need to worry about a thing.”
“Who all is going to be there again? I know you told me once but I was a little out of it working.”
“Not everyone can make it but the core group will be there. Mike and Amy, of course. It’s their party. Max said he’d be there. Plus several people we’ve worked with at the BBC. Maybe a few more.”
She turned toward him and took a deep breath. She could do this as long as Nate didn’t stray too far away.
“Let’s do this.”
* * *
The evening was going quite well. Paige had met most of Nate’s friends and they had been enthusiastic and nice. His friends didn’t know their relationship was a showmance though. Except for Max, that is. Nate had assured Paige it was better the fewer people that knew the truth.
Speaking of Max… The British bastard was beginning to grow on her. She even danced a few times with him and found that he was pretty good. Everything was awesome.
“Another drink, love?”
They’d finished a slow dance that Nate had capped off with a twirl, making her a little dizzy. She’d learned her lesson from the night at the pub, however. “Thank you, handsome, but just soda. I’m going to freshen up in the powder room. I’ll meet you by the food.”
Nate chuckled as he headed to the bar. “Of course. Food. I should have known.”
It didn’t take long to take care of business in the powder room and she headed for the kitchen where the table was piled with food. Paige picked up a plate and began to fill it, wondering if she should try to make small talk but Amy, the hostess of the party, made it easy for her.
“Hey, we’re really glad you could make it tonight. We’ve been anxious to meet you. Mike says Nate talks about you constantly on their morning runs.”
That was news. Just what had he been saying?
“Really? Wow, I had no idea.” Paige decided to keep it simple and true. She’d get all mixed up if she started lying to people. “Nate’s a sweetheart and your husband seems like a terrific guy.”
“Nate is a sweetheart,” Amy agreed, helping herself to a cheese ball. “He deserves to find someone that makes him happy. Mike says that Nate is so proud of you. He brags about what a great writer you are. I have the first book in your Flynn series and as soon as I finish the one I’m reading I’m moving on to that one. I’m looking forward to it.”
Nate was proud of he
r. Proud. It had been so long since she’d inspired that emotion in someone that wasn’t either on her payroll or related to her.
“I hope you enjoy the book,” she said sincerely. “Flynn is one of my favorite characters that I’ve ever written. Nate reminds me of him.”
Funny how he hadn’t until she’d spent time with him. Now she could see all the things they had in common.
“Then I really look forward to reading it.” Amy popped a pretzel in her mouth. “I talked to Nate about this but he says he needed to speak with you before he committed. Once a month we have a movie night here at the house. Invite a bunch of people over, watch a couple of movies, eat food, and generally have a good time. It’s next Wednesday night. Do you think you and Nate would like to come?”
Overwhelmed by Amy’s warmth and welcome, Paige nodded in agreement. “I think that sounds fantastic. How do you pick the movies?”
Giggling, Amy rolled her eyes. “We do themes. One month it’s monster movies like Godzilla and King Kong. Another month it’s slapstick comedy or maybe teenage angst films. This month is classic black and white. Do you have any suggestions?”
“More than you probably want to hear. How about The Thin Man movies?”
“Dick Powell and Myrna Loy.” Amy bounced up and down with excitement. “That’s a wonderful idea. I love those but haven’t seen them in ages. You have great taste in movies. Does Nate let you pick out what you’re going to watch at home?”
“I’m happy to let him watch whatever he wants, although he’s partial to Jurassic Park movies and they scare me a little. Those dinosaurs in the kitchen give me the willies.”
“Me too, but I’m fine as long as I have Mike to grab onto in the dark.”
Paige didn’t think Nate would welcome her grabbing him anywhere at any time.
* * *
“She’s a keeper and much too good for you.”
Max’s words weren’t much of a surprise to Nate. His friend loved Paige’s writing as much as he did, so admiring the woman behind the words wasn’t a stretch. They’d had a rocky start but Max had apologized and Paige had accepted it, so things were looking up.
“Thank you for those kind sentiments,” Nate growled. “It’s not even real.”
Max chuckled and ordered a beer from the bartender. “That’s why you’re an idiot.”
“You don’t know any more about love and relationships than I do,” Nate said defensively, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“I won’t argue that point except I do know one thing. Love is a good thing to have if you can find it. Sadly, I think marriage for me is not in the cards. I don’t seem to have the best taste in women.”
That was true. Everyone had warned him about Alana but Max had fallen head over heels and couldn’t think straight.
“Stop thinking with your dick,” Nate said bluntly. “That’s your problem.”
“That’s every man’s problem,” Max shot back.
“Until they find the right woman.”
“Is Paige the right woman, my friend? Women like her don’t come around very often. Don’t let your pride and stupidity get in the way of something that might be good.”
Not that Nate would admit it out loud, but he’d been thinking along those lines. Wondering what a real relationship with her would be like.
“I’ll take it under advisement,” Nate said, not wanting to get into it tonight. The thoughts were still too new and personal. Like tiny buds in the soil, they needed to be nurtured to grow and blossom.
“Do that. My fans think I’m a very wise man.”
Nate needed a cigarette. He’d quit a few years ago, only smoking for movie roles now, but he had a real craving tonight for some reason. He could get one from Mike who quit about every other month.
“Wise? That’s a laugh. I should think about getting new friends. I’m going out for a smoke. I’ll be right back.”
After bumming a cigarette from Mike, Nate stepped out of the back door of the house, the cool night air hitting him right in the face. Leaning against the porch railing, he didn’t turn around when the door opened again, too intent on finishing his cigarette.
“Can I get a light?”
Nate reached into his pocket and turned toward the voice. “Of course–”
Bethany.
He should have known she’d be here. She worked for the BBC and was a casual friend of Mike and Amy. She and Nate had dated a few years ago but it had ended when he had to be out of the country for months on end. She wasn’t the type to wait around.
She looked the same. Long dark hair pulled into some side ponytail. Red dress that clung to her figure and showed off her long legs. Her lips painted crimson.
That mouth was smiling as she held up her cigarette, a well-shaped eyebrow raised in question.
“Hello, Nate. Can I have a light?”
He fumbled with the lighter but managed to light her cigarette without causing an incendiary accident. Bethany reminded him of Stella Riley. They both liked to play games and cause drama.
She inhaled and then blew out a puff of blue-gray smoke. “You look good. Haven’t seen you around lately.”
For good reason. He’d been avoiding her.
“Hello, Bethany. I’ve been working.”
She smiled, leaning closer. He could smell the cloying sweetness of her perfume and instead of arousing him, it turned his stomach a little. What had he ever seen in her? Looking back, he barely recognized himself.
“We’ve missed you around here,” she purred. “When are you going to do another project for us?”
He shrugged, taking a drag on his cigarette. “I don’t know. I’ll be tied up most of this year with a play. Maybe next.”
Her fingers trailed down his arm and he had to steel himself not to snatch it back. “It was too bad about how we ended things. But it looks like we have another chance. How about we both get out of here and head to my place? We can order Chinese and reminisce about old times. I miss you, Nathan.”
God, he hated being called that and Bethany had never listened when he’d complained.
He brushed her hand away and stepped back, throwing down his cigarette and grinding it with his heel. “I don’t think so. I’m with someone.”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what she was offering. That trip down memory lane included getting naked.
Instead of going inside as he’d expected, Bethany threw her head back and laughed, her cheeks going red. “Right. Nathan has a girlfriend. So what? Since when has that ever stopped you from having a little side fun? I know you couldn’t have forgotten all the things we used to do together. Things I bet that little vanilla won’t do. I saw you come in with her, baby, but you don’t have to leave that way.”
His fake relationship with Paige was better than the real thing with Bethany. Far better. With Bethany he constantly felt like he had to pretend to be something he wasn’t, with Paige he could simply be himself.
“I’m not that guy anymore.”
Maybe it would be more accurate to say he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be that guy anymore.
“I find that hard to believe. Nathan, you will always be that guy. It’s in your nature so don’t fight it. Being tied down to one woman would only bore you. You may not sleep with me tonight but eventually you will. And if not with me, with someone. You love the excitement, the thrill. You’re not the come home after a long day, dinner at six, and sex on a Saturday night kind of man. Leopards don’t change their spots. Why are you trying to fight who you are?”
Sweat had pooled at the back of Nate’s neck despite the chilly temperature. “That’s not who I am. I’ve changed.”
Snorting, she shook her head. “People don’t change that much. You might think that it’s all good now but what happens when you go on location and she’s not with you? You think you can keep it in your pants for months? I always knew you couldn’t and I understood when you needed to let off a little steam. I don’t think she will. She’ll hate you an
d then dump you.”
His greatest fear. Being left alone. But Bethany only thought she knew who he was. She thought he was Kai when inside he was just boring old Nate. Wasn’t he? After all this time pretending to be someone else had he turned into a character? Was there anything left of the man he used to be?
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You know nothing about me.”
Bethany stepped back, her brows almost to her hairline. “What are you going to do, Nathan? Get married and have a couple of kids and a dog? Is that what you want out of life? I don’t think you do. It will only make you unhappy. You aren’t the marrying type.”
“You don’t have a very high opinion of me, Bethany.” Nate moved closer to the door, not wanting this encounter to go on any longer. “I can assure you that I’m not who you think I am. In fact, I’m rather boring and stuffy.”
At least I think I am.
If his old girlfriend wanted to say more, she didn’t. Instead she smiled and tossed her own cigarette away. “Then I wish you all the luck in the world. I sure as hell think you’re going to need it.”
Brushing by him, she went back into the party, leaving Nate standing in the cold all by himself lost in his thoughts and wondering if this was the opinion of all of his friends. Did they all think he was a philandering cheat?
Turning on his heel, he headed back into the party and grabbed a drink for Paige on the way. She was probably wondering if he’d abandoned her despite the fact he hadn’t been gone for that long. He entered the kitchen and saw Paige and Amy talking animatedly. As he got closer, he could hear them more clearly. They were talking about movie night. He’d promised to speak to Paige about it but it had slipped his mind.
“Dick Powell and Myrna Loy,” Amy said. “That’s a wonderful idea. I love those but haven’t seen them in ages. You have great taste in movies. Does Nate let you pick out what you’re going to watch at home?”
A Kiss For The Cameras (The Hollywood Showmance Chronicles Book 1) Page 12