by Heather Moll
“Oh, you vex me, Lizzy, for we all know how little Mr. Darcy favors you. He is shockingly rude to be sure, but we shall endeavor to greet him civilly.”
“Mamma! He is not the same as he was last autumn; indeed, he has no improper pride. I am better acquainted with him now, and—and I have grown fond of him. I—I even think that we could be very well suited to one another.”
She shared a look with Jane, who added, “The Gardiners and I were pleased with Mr. Darcy when he called in Gracechurch Street. He was perfectly amiable.”
“So high and conceited that there is no enduring him!” Mrs. Bennet refused to listen and fluttered around the room. “You need not stay, Lizzy. Perhaps he is here to see Jane. He might hope to make his intentions known before his friend returns. Jane, do not encourage him, but you may have to talk with him to spare Lizzy the trouble.”
Elizabeth entreated her mother to be silent and tried to assure her that Mr. Darcy wanted to see her, but Mrs. Bennet would not be convinced.
***
The hours on horseback were a small price to pay to see Elizabeth before Bingley reopened Netherfield, and it had the added benefit of requiring him to stay in her company longer while he baited his horse. He chose not to dwell on the others he would meet since he was determined to show Elizabeth’s family every respect for her benefit.
He heard raised voices from the parlor and upon entering was immediately struck by Elizabeth’s smile of delight that added luster to her eyes. The animation of her countenance was striking, and he was so intent on looking at her that he nearly forgot to acknowledge the others. Darcy was thankful that only Mrs. Bennet and her two eldest children were at home.
“Did you have an easy journey, Mr. Darcy?” asked Mrs. Bennet when he sat. “It is a great distance. I wonder what might have induced you to make the trip.”
He gave Elizabeth an expressive look and a warm smile that ought to have answered the question for any sensible observer.
“It is not such a great distance, as I am sure Mr. Darcy would agree,” Elizabeth interjected. “He would no doubt say it is an easy distance so long as the roads are good.”
“It was little more than a few hours’ journey across fields and streams. On horseback, I need not always stay to the roads. I was motivated to cover the distance quickly.”
Mrs. Bennet treated him with a cold civility. Did she know something of his interference with Bingley and Miss Bennet? Or was it because he had treated her family and friends as though they were decidedly beneath him? Not only did he need to court Elizabeth’s favor, but he would also have to court that of her family.
“Bingley intends to reopen Netherfield by the middle of June, Mrs. Bennet. He is quite desirous of meeting you all again.”
Mrs. Bennet only nodded. After a long silence, she said, “Your friend will see a great many changes in the neighborhood when he returns. Miss Lucas is married and settled.”
“I had the pleasure of meeting with Mrs. Collins often while visiting my aunt, Lady Catherine, at Easter. She appeared to be content with her situation.” He would not say he thought Mrs. Collins to be happy, for who could be happy with such a man for a husband, but Darcy put forth the effort of saying something agreeable when he would have otherwise remained silent.
“Mamma, I told you that Mr. Darcy often called at the parsonage. In fact, in one of our many conversations, we discussed marriage and the Collinses’ happiness.” Elizabeth spoke slowly and clearly. Since he understood that Mrs. Bennet dearly wanted all of her daughters advantageously settled, Darcy had expected she would be his greatest supporter, but she was scarcely civil to him. Mrs. Bennet must not understand he was here as Elizabeth’s suitor.
“The regiment will soon leave for Brighton, Mr. Darcy. We are grieved for the loss of their company. I should think it will break my daughters’ hearts! It is a shame that some of those men, accustomed to the life of a gentleman, must be reduced to such poverty as to join the militia. If only they had some friends.” She sniffed.
“Mr. Darcy, you have ridden so far, and we would be remiss if we did not invite you to dine with us,” Elizabeth said pointedly. She then looked at Mrs. Bennet, and her mother coolly invited him to stay. Darcy dearly hoped Elizabeth was as eager to avoid discussion about Mr. Wickham or hear him praised as much as he was. As he politely accepted, Elizabeth’s two youngest sisters burst into the room. One shrieked with delight while the other followed in tears.
“I am going to Brighton! I am going to Brighton!” Miss Lydia sang rapturously.
“Mamma, it is not fair! I have just as much right to be asked as she does!”
“Mrs. Forster has asked to me to accompany her to Brighton. My dear, dear Harriet! Brighton comprises every possibility of earthly happiness, and I get to go!” Miss Lydia flew about the room in restless ecstasy, and her mother jumped from her chair to join her.
“What fun you will have, my dear! Perchance you will find a husband before you return!” The noise level increased so abruptly and dramatically that Darcy could not prevent himself from cringing. Their mother talked on about the many new gowns Lydia would need and what eligible men she may meet.
“I cannot see why Mrs. Forster should not ask me as well as Lydia, for I am two years older!” Miss Catherine peevishly threw herself into the sofa next to Darcy without bothering to acknowledge him.
“Harriet is my particular friend. She is very nearly my age and lately married, and we shall have such parties and fun! Lizzy! Jane! You must congratulate me. I am going to Brighton!”
Miss Bennet wished her well, and Elizabeth closed her eyes as if willing the scene before her to disappear before she opened them.
Darcy was sure this invitation was the death warrant of all possibility of common sense for Miss Lydia Bennet. The improprieties of her general behavior shocked him. His instinct told him to take his leave or, barring that, remove himself to the window. However, that would not endear him to Elizabeth, and he was determined to please her.
As he sat calculating the distance between Pemberley and Longbourn, he realized that he had been addressed by Mrs. Bennet. Not wanting to appear inattentive, he promptly agreed with whatever had been asked of him. He realized he had been invited to walk out with Mrs. Bennet’s daughters.
“Go, my dears, and show Mr. Darcy about the different walks.”
Miss Lydia declared herself eager to call at the Lucases’ to make known her good fortune while Miss Catherine was still sitting next to Darcy, weeping from vexation and envy and was not fit to be seen. Elizabeth and Miss Bennet rose to collect their bonnets and gloves when Mrs. Bennet spoke again.
“Lizzy, you need not go. Lydia will call on Lucas Lodge, and Jane may accompany Mr. Darcy on a walk.”
“I would rather accompany Lydia!” Miss Bennet said quickly. “Lizzy may show him the hermitage.”
Mrs. Bennet replied it was not necessary and again entreated Mr. Darcy to walk with Jane.
“Mamma, I would happily go with Mr. Darcy!” Elizabeth said.
“Yes, my dear, but I say you need not.” Mrs. Bennet winked at Elizabeth, who looked appalled.
“Mrs. Bennet, I would enjoy Miss Elizabeth’s particular company should she choose to walk out.” Darcy then rose to collect his hat and gloves. He knew his manner with Mrs. Bennet had turned cold, but Elizabeth was distressed, and he would do what was needed to remove her from this situation. He would explain himself outside should she accuse him of being uncivil.
Miss Bennet passed down the hall to retrieve her parasol while Darcy waited for the ladies. The door to the parlor remained open, and he heard Elizabeth speaking to her mother in hushed tones.
“What is your meaning?”
“Lizzy, you need not spend time in the company of that man. Not handsome enough to dance with, indeed! You may not have Jane’s beauty nor Lydia’s liv
eliness, but I shall not have it be said that I instructed you to walk out with a disagreeable man who dislikes you.”
“Mamma, please! Mr. Darcy will hear you! And he does not dislike me.”
“What is Mr. Darcy to me, indeed to any of us? We owe him no particular civility other than he is friend to Mr. Bingley, who we all believe will do nicely for Jane. Mr. Darcy has done nothing to recommend himself.”
“For heaven’s sake, speak lower. There is no advantage for you to offend Mr. Darcy. His reason for calling is to further his acquaintance with me!”
“I find it difficult to believe that you would suit his fancy. I thought he might have come for Jane, but he does not appear to fancy her either.”
Darcy heard a loud exhalation and swift footsteps that grew louder. By the way she looked at him as she entered the hall, Darcy knew Elizabeth was aware of his overhearing. Miss Bennet returned with her parasol, and Miss Lydia bounded out the door still gleeful about traveling to Brighton.
Elizabeth did not speak but eyed him with serious scrutiny. Her fingers played with her watch chain, and she appeared restless. She was embarrassed, and he wondered whether she feared the loss of his esteem due to her mother. In his mind, he weighed three foolish sisters and their mother against the elder Miss Bennet and the Gardiners. He had already decided he would not be deterred because of her connections; Elizabeth’s happiness was worth every effort he could put forth.
I shall have to love her mother for Elizabeth’s sake and have her happiness be as dear to me as that of my own mother, rest her soul; I shall have to love all of them. Dwelling on the undeniable difference between his and Elizabeth’s relations would only drive them apart.
***
Elizabeth had always been aware that her immediate connections were unequal to Mr. Darcy’s in behavior, but the display he had just witnessed was appalling. If he had been wavering before, he must certainly consider giving her up now. While in London, she had thought his affections and wishes were still unshaken, but she could not now be secure.
They walked towards Lucas Lodge where Lydia and Jane left them. Mr. Darcy had not spoken since he quit the drawing room, and she dreaded what was to come. She feared to speak to him lest her emotions should overmaster her, for her regret at the idea of the loss of Mr. Darcy was formidable now that she had begun to appreciate him. While her regard for him was ever increasing, her power over him must be equally diminished after her family’s behavior.
“Your mother is misinformed.” His steady voice interrupted her silent heartache.
“How do you mean?”
“She implied you lack your sisters’ attractiveness and vivacity, and I would therefore not take your notice. I know not what I may do to inform her that you are of frequent notice to me, but I have for many months now considered you to be the handsomest woman of my acquaintance.”
Elizabeth stopped and looked up at him in astonishment.
“Do you not have sufficient confidence in my affections to believe me?” he asked.
She could hardly say, since she questioned the strength of her own precious feelings for him, that of course she could doubt his. “We are so very different. You have splendid property and noble connections, and I cannot offer you the like. My mother’s behavior to you bordered on uncivil, and all your doubts concerning my family’s lack of propriety and inferiority—”
He seized her hand and pressed it fervently into his chest. “I have no doubts about my intentions towards you. I may have considered your family’s situation and behavior, but there was no reason for me to speak of them when I was petitioning for your hand, and I am ashamed. I do beg you to forgive me.”
Elizabeth nodded, but Mr. Darcy was not done.
“I would have you know my every thought and feeling, had I the right to confide them to you. For the present, you need to know that, when I am assured your regard for me matches what I continue to feel for you, I will ask you again to be my wife.”
When Mr. Darcy last made an avowal of all he felt for her, he had no doubt of a favorable response. The way he now looked on her made Elizabeth believe he was truly apprehensive she would ever accept his hand, and she strove to give him an understanding of her intensifying attachment to him.
“I have never been more sensible of your good character. I have a real interest in your happiness, and I want it to depend a great deal on me. I ought to tell you, however awkward it may be, that I feel marriage is much more than an anxious concern for the well-being of one’s companion.”
“After all that has passed between us, I am grateful that you at least now have an interest in my happiness.” Elizabeth’s heart raced while Mr. Darcy still held a gentle grasp on her hand. Whatever feelings she had for him, they were more than simply wishing him health and happiness. She could see him as a devoted husband, a doting father, and a responsible landlord who cared for the happiness of everyone in his care. “What else do you feel an equal marriage of respect ought to entail?”
“I believe that marriage must entail love and depth of attachment.”
“You are a romantic.” It was not a question, and he was not wrong. “Do you—is it possible you could—do I have any reason to hope—”
“Yes.”
Mr. Darcy gave a joyful smile; Elizabeth could never remember seeing him so vibrant. His dark eyes never left hers as he removed her glove and raised her bare hand to his lips. He kissed her delicate wrist and then turned her hand to bestow the lightest of kisses on each of her fingertips. Elizabeth forgot to breathe.
They heard the sound of approaching footsteps and voices and broke apart to see a group of men in scarlet coats drawing near. Mr. Darcy took her hand under his arm and led her towards Longbourn. Elizabeth wished he would resume his previous activities but knew not how to ask. Mr. Darcy seemed content to cover her hand with his and would neither relinquish it nor return her glove.
To hide her nervousness, she admitted that, when they rambled in the park in Kent before the disastrous proposal, she had met him unexpectedly. “I am very desirous of your company now, but at the time I thought it your willful ill nature, or a voluntary penance, that you chose to remain in my company.”
Mr. Darcy laughed aloud and disbelieved that she thought it mischance that he would meet her on her walks. “You took great care to inform me it was your favorite haunt!” he replied, still laughing.
“I thought you may want to avoid me in the future and gave you the means by which to do so! How could I explain your presence when you rarely spoke? And you must remember, I was not pretty enough to even dance with.”
“Did you not realize I came to the parsonage to be near you?”
“Charlotte suggested you were partial to me, but I always laughed at the idea. Even she admitted that, although you looked at me a great deal, she could see little admiration in your gaze.”
“You must have been utterly amazed to see me that evening,” he said quietly. She reminded him of her own hubris and errors in judgment, but neither would he hear of her. Elizabeth then decided to tease him and told Mr. Darcy there would be another assembly on the night of the next full moon should he like to attend.
“And if you come, you need not dance with me nor sit again near Mrs. Long. You might play cards with the old men who do not care for frivolity.”
“I do not recall Mrs. Long.”
“You sat close to her for half an hour without opening your lips. It is generally thought she made you angry by speaking to you, and perhaps you chose not to speak to her because she does not keep a carriage.”
“I must have continually given offense wherever I appeared.”
“You will not act that way in the future. And there is an excuse for some of your pride. One cannot wonder that so han—that one with family, fortune, and everything in his favor should think well of himself.” Elizabeth
colored at nearly calling him a handsome man to his face. She changed the subject to one point on which she wanted advice.
“I want to be told whether I ought, or ought not, to make my acquaintance in general understand Mr. Wickham’s character. He deserves to be exposed, but if I endeavor to undeceive people, who will believe me? I would not disclose Georgiana’s particulars, and as to the rest, the general prejudice against—”
“Is there a general prejudice against me so violent that the people of Meryton could not place me in an amiable light?”
Elizabeth said nothing, for he was not incorrect, but she reached over with her hand and laid it on his upper arm as they walked along.
“It is due to my reserve that Mr. Wickham’s character has been so misunderstood and he consequently has been well received.”
“It is not your responsibility to follow Mr. Wickham through the world and warn the unsuspecting populace.”
“To have his errors made public might ruin him forever. I admit this would please me, but I would not make him desperate while he is near to you nor would I expose my sister. Mr. Wickham will soon be gone, and therefore it will not signify to anybody here what he really is. Have you spoken with him since you returned home?”
“I have been in his company, but we have not had a conversation. I no longer take pleasure in finding myself selected as an object of his idle and frivolous gallantry. The officers will dine here their last day in Meryton and then we may part forever.”
The pair walked in the spring sun in silence, each in their own way loathing the existence of George Wickham and rejoicing in the presence of the other. After a time, Elizabeth asked after her favorite dance partner, and upon realizing she was not referring to himself, Darcy responded that Georgiana was well and had returned to her own establishment with Mrs. Annesley.
“It is a pity she does not have sisters or cousins close to her own age.”
“Her companion is with her, and Georgiana is often part of a larger party of mine that includes women who are fond of her.” Elizabeth gave him a knowing expression. “Yes, those ladies may not be interested in Georgiana for the sake of her friendship.”