by A. E. Radley
“Olivia!” Emily hissed. “Now is really not the time or the place to talk about this. Simon might not want to do it, or Sophie might not want him to do it. If you ask them on your wedding day, it will be hard for them to say no. Hell, I don’t even know if I want him to do it.”
Olivia looked confused. “But, we’re supposed to be having a baby.”
“Not in the next two days,” Emily pointed out. “We can talk about this later, it doesn’t all have to be now.” Emily brushed a strand of hair behind Olivia’s ear.
She knew that Olivia was suddenly wondering about the next stage in her life. When Olivia had stepped down from being managing director at Applewood Financial, she’d thrown herself into decorating the house. And then into planning the wedding. And then the honeymoon.
In Olivia’s mind, the wedding was practically over, and she was itching to get onto the next thing. Emily had known that the subject would be approaching at some point, but she’d still hoped that sperm wouldn’t be a topic of discussion over the fish course.
“I promise we will talk about it soon, just not tonight. I want to be absolutely sure that we can’t make a baby ourselves before we get outside help.” Emily waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Olivia frowned. “We can’t make—”
Emily stared at her pointedly.
“Oh, oh!” Olivia suddenly understood. “Yes, of course, you’re right. We should try ourselves, just to be sure.”
Emily smiled and returned to her meal. She glanced up and saw Simon smiling at her. She quickly looked back to her plate, feeling her cheeks heat as she did.
4
Olivia sipped her coffee. She stood in front of the large hotel window and looked out at the ocean. The dark blue waters glistened in the sunlight. The early morning joggers were already up and running along the beach.
She sighed.
“Are you sad?”
She turned to look at Henry, who was eyeing her suspiciously.
“No, why would I be sad?” she asked.
“Because you keep sighing.” Henry pointed to the ever-present toy giraffe on the dining table. “Tiny says you’re sad.”
“Well, Tiny is wrong, I’m extremely happy.” Olivia walked over to the table.
It wasn’t entirely true. She felt like she should feel extremely happy. But, in reality, she was struggling with the big questions that Emily assured her could wait until they were back from their honeymoon.
Questions like, when they would investigate having a baby? What would the future look like? What was the timetable for the next few months?
Olivia’s life had always been set to an exacting schedule. She knew what would happen the next day; she even knew what would happen the next month. Things were organised and followed a certain pattern.
Until recently.
Now, not a lot made sense. Big questions were met with no firm answer. She supposed this was something she’d need to get used to. Even if the very thought of not knowing caused a slight sweat to form at her brow.
She looked at Henry. “I’m just thinking about the day. I believe we’re going shopping. That will be nice, won’t it?”
“But Mommy said we were going to the beach again today.” Henry pulled the crust off a piece of toast and started to eat it.
“I thought we were going shopping?” Olivia frowned.
She was certain that Emily had decided to have a day away from the beach, her pale skin beginning to complain at the strength of the sun.
“No, she said we’re going to the beach,” Henry repeated.
Olivia sipped her coffee. She eyed the closed bedroom door over the rim of the cup. She’d promised Emily an extra hour in bed, but now she was conflicted. Did she get Henry ready for a day at the beach or a day shopping?
She turned to regard her stepson, who was telling Tiny about the enormous sand castle he was going to build at the beach.
She placed her empty coffee mug in the dishwasher in the open-plan kitchen of their hotel suite.
“You can watch ten minutes of television,” she told Henry as she walked past him.
She’d barely finished the sentence before Henry was scooping up Tiny and his plastic breakfast plate and running to the living area.
She quietly crept into the master bedroom, closing the door behind her. The room was dark, a small streak of sunlight hitting the wall where the curtains had been hastily drawn.
Emily lay spread-eagle on the bed, the sound of her gentle breathing piercing the silence.
A memory of the night before flashed through Olivia’s mind, and she felt her cheeks flush. They’d been on honeymoon for four days. In some ways, she wished it would never end. Spending time with Emily and Henry was a blessing. They’d watched movies, played at the beach, and played tourist around the local area. It was pure bliss.
Except for something niggling at the back of her mind. An anxious feeling. As with all vacations, she felt eager to get home and get back into the swing of work. Not that work existed for her anymore. Since she had been ousted from her own company, work was something that other people did.
And so, she found her mind drifting during movies, or while staring at the cresting waves of the sea, wondering what life would look like when she got home. She had to remind herself not to wish away the vacation in search of stability and order.
Things were looking very different indeed.
She was married; she was a mother to Henry. And she was unemployed, living off her considerable savings while Emily forged her new writing career.
After years of a very strict schedule, Olivia found herself adhering to other people’s. Waking early to get Henry ready in the morning and allowing Emily to sleep in, a luxury her new wife hadn’t often experienced.
She loved being a source of assistance and strength to Emily. She wanted Emily to know she could rely on her, to know that they were a team. It gave her an enormous sense of pride and satisfaction to be the rock that Emily leaned on. Especially as Emily was a strong and independent woman who had almost never accepted support from anyone in the past.
She sat on the edge of the bed, not really wanting to wake Emily but knowing that she needed clarification on the day’s plans before preparing Henry for the day.
“Emily,” she whispered, reaching out and softly running her fingers through long blonde locks.
Emily’s eyes fluttered open, and she lifted her head a little to regard Olivia.
“Everythin’ okay?” she mumbled.
“Yes, I’m sorry to wake you,” Olivia apologised. “What are we doing today? I thought we were going shopping, but Henry says we’re going to the beach?”
Emily chuckled and turned over to lay on her back. She pulled the sheet up to cover herself.
“Henry’s lying,” Emily informed her.
Olivia released an irritated breath through her nose. She couldn’t believe he had managed to con her again.
Emily reached her hand out and massaged Olivia’s knee through her jeans.
“Don’t worry.”
Olivia shook her head. “I don’t understand why he’s suddenly lying to me.”
“He lies to me as well,” Emily assured. “And to Lucy, and Irene… anyone who will listen. It’s a phase.”
“When does this phase end?” Olivia asked.
“Soon,” Emily promised. “I’ll speak to him again. He just knows you’re a soft touch.”
Olivia jumped to her feet. “I’m not a soft touch,” she complained.
Emily laughed. “You are. You’d give him the world, and he knows it. You’re the weak link in the chain, sorry.”
Olivia bent down and picked up Emily’s clothes from the floor, discarded eagerly the night before.
“I really don’t see where this behaviour came from,” Olivia grumbled.
Emily sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. “He’s young, he’s learning social skills. Like all other children, he stumbled on the fact that sometimes you can get exactly what you want by
lying. He’s exploiting that knowledge.”
“He doesn’t exploit you,” Olivia pointed out. She folded Emily’s clothes and placed them on the top of the chest of drawers.
“He tries. But I’m a human lie detector, so I see through his fibs.”
Olivia shook her head again. “I’m not enjoying this stage of his development.”
Emily chuckled. “I don’t think anyone does. Do you know what you have to do now?”
Olivia regarded her. “No, what?”
“Punish him.”
Olivia blanched. “P-punish him?”
“Yep. I’m not talking about hot pokers or anything, but you need to do something. He lied to you, and you need to demonstrate to him that, firstly, you caught him in a lie. And, secondly, you need to punish him. If you don’t, you’ll always be the soft touch.”
Olivia sat in the chair in the corner of the room. She knew being a parent would have difficult moments, but the idea of punishing Henry horrified her. So far, Emily had taken the lead on anything like that.
“We agreed that we would be equal partners in Henry’s life,” Emily reminded her. “You can’t always think of him as my son. He thinks of you as a second mother now.”
“He calls me Olivia.”
“Only because you haven’t encouraged him to call you something else. If you wanted him to call you ‘Mom’, then he would. He adores you.”
Olivia’s heart soared at the very thought. She did consider Henry her son, but she was always wary of stepping on Emily’s toes. She didn’t want Emily to feel like she was being replaced. And there was something so real about being called ‘Mom’. The weight of the responsibility was heavy, she knew she would be ready for it when it came. But she wasn’t sure if she wanted to assist in its early arrival.
“What kind of punishment?” she asked.
Emily shrugged her shoulders. “What do you think is appropriate?”
Olivia stood behind the sofa and listened to the magical sound of Henry’s giggles. She narrowed her eyes. The five-year-old boy sat in his giraffe-emblazoned pyjamas, happily watching morning cartoons.
She knew the happy scene in front of her was about to dramatically change. And she would be the cause of that change. It seemed so grossly unfair that Henry had caused the situation, and her actions, actions required to fix the situation and make him a better person, were about to cause tears and heartbreak. For everyone.
“Henry,” she said slowly.
He turned and looked at her with a big grin on his face. She loved that smile. The dimples. The big cheeks that she hoped he’d never grow into.
Henry’s grin faded, and a puzzled expression replaced it as the silence continued.
“Henry,” she started again. She dug deep and found some strength. “Did Mommy really say that we were going to the beach today?”
Henry quickly nodded his head.
It was a mistake.
The bold-faced lie right to her face caused Olivia to see red. Her sweet, innocent little boy had just lied to her.
“I know that’s not true,” Olivia said calmly.
“Yes, it is,” he told her firmly.
“You’re lying to me, and we’ve already told you that’s wrong. So, no television for one week.”
Henry’s mouth dropped open in horror. He stared at her for a moment, ascertaining the truth of her statement. His eyes filled with tears, and he let out a pained cry. He stumbled to his feet and ran from the living room towards the master bedroom.
Olivia felt any residual anger at being lied to leave her. Anguish replaced it in a split second. Who knew that being a parent could be such an emotional rollercoaster? She found herself rooted to the spot, staring blankly at the doorway Henry had vanished through. She had made him cry, for the first time. And he’d run to Emily to dry his tears. She felt like a monster.
Emily appeared in the doorway, buttoning up her top, all thoughts of some extra rest gone. Henry walked beside her, his face bright red and his breath coming in heavy pants as he tried to explain how he had been wronged.
“Why did she do that?” Emily asked Henry. She offered Olivia a sympathetic smile.
“I… don’t… know…” Henry wheezed in-between tears.
“I think you do,” Emily prompted as she crossed to the kitchen.
“No,” Henry denied.
Emily poured herself a cup of coffee from the carafe. “Are you sure? Because I heard that you told a lie. And if you told a lie, then I think you should be punished. We don’t tell lies, do we?”
Henry backhanded a few tears and shook his head. His cheeks were bright red with the exertion. Olivia worried that all the blood in his body was currently in his head. Surely that couldn’t be healthy?
But Emily stood tall, slowly sipping her coffee and looking down at him with a neutral expression.
Olivia was impressed that Emily didn’t crumble and scoop him up into a hug. But then she supposed it was that kind of behaviour that would prevent Henry from ever learning.
“Maybe you should say something to Olivia?” Emily suggested. She tilted her head in her new wife’s direction.
Olivia held her breath and stood a little straighter. She was sure that Henry would hate her forever. She’d punished him and made him cry. How would he ever forgive her? She would have to comfort herself that she was helping to raise a good person, even if that good person resented her cruelty.
Henry started walking towards Olivia. The action quickly turned into a sprint and he fell into her legs at speed, nearly knocking her over.
“I’m sorry, Olivia. I’m sorry I lied!” he cried through his tears. “Please don’t hate me.”
Olivia pushed aside any notion of stoically standing by. Instead, she fell to her knees and pulled him into a hug.
“I could never hate you,” she promised him. “Never.”
Henry sobbed onto her shoulder, and Olivia gripped him tightly. She looked up to see Emily looking at her. Emily raised her eyebrow meaningfully. Olivia let out a sigh. This was the bit she hated, the follow-through. Emily had explained again and again the importance of the follow-through.
She swallowed. “I love you very much,” she reassured. “But you’re still not allowed to watch television for one week. And you need to remember to not lie to me.”
Henry’s head nodded against her shoulder.
“Okay, let’s put this behind us and have a great day,” Emily announced. “Henry, go to your room and get some clothes out for shopping, all right? I’ll be in soon to help you get ready.”
Henry pulled away and dashed towards his bedroom.
Olivia got to her feet and looked at Emily. “That was hard.”
“It was. But it’s the right thing to do. He’ll forget about all of this within the next fifteen minutes.”
“I won’t,” Olivia pointed out.
Emily walked over and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Being a parent is hard. But you’re very good at it.”
“Why do people put themselves through this? I’m going to feel guilty about this moment for days, weeks, to come. Henry is probably not going to remember it by dinner. And he caused the problem,” Olivia grumbled.
“Are you sure you want to have another one?” Emily asked seriously.
Olivia thought about the question for a few moments. She did want another child. She wanted Henry to have a sibling to play with, and she wanted to grow their family. She didn’t feel like they needed another baby to be a family, but somehow, it felt right.
“The pros substantially outweigh the cons.”
“Spoken like a true mathematician,” Emily replied with a smile.
Olivia barked a laugh. “Is that what I am?”
“Of course.”
Olivia shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t feel like one. I don’t feel like much of anything at the moment. It’s a strange time,” she admitted.
“It’s one of the things you are. Even if you aren’t working. A doctor is still a doctor even
when they’re unemployed. You’re still a finance wizard even though you’re not working.” Emily walked back to the kitchen and opened the cupboard to fetch a bowl. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back to work?”
“Of course, we agreed that I’d stay with Henry and the baby while you build up your new career,” Olivia said.
“Just because I’m starting a new career doesn’t mean that you can’t work if you want to. I know that work is important to you. And I like the suits.” Emily winked.
Olivia laughed but shook her head. “No, we made an agreement. It’s important that one of us remains with the children. Especially if you’re going to be flying back and forth to London.”
Olivia had made a promise to Emily, and it was one she intended to keep. She didn’t want Emily to have to worry about things. They were a team now; she would stay home while Emily learnt her new craft. She wasn’t about to go back on a promise she made two days before their wedding. Even if she was struggling to see what her future looked like now.
“You could come with me sometimes. Lucy would happily take Henry for a few days if you wanted to come and see the theatre,” Emily suggested.
Olivia vehemently shook her head. “I told you, I’m not ready to get on one of those death-traps.” The memory of the crash was still vivid in her mind. Her ankle throbbed with a phantom pain.
“You have to get back on the horse eventually. Are you going to stay in New York and surroundings areas, doomed to only travel in cars and trains, for the rest of your life?” Emily pressed.
“As I believe I proved when planning this honeymoon, this country has a perfectly nice railroad network.”
“It does,” Emily agreed, “but it doesn’t take you to Europe. And what if Henry wants to go to… I don’t know… Disney?”
“The train—” Olivia began.
“…Land.”
Olivia brought up the mental image of the railway map and pondered routes from New York to California. It wouldn’t be easy, or fast.
“Not to mention that I don’t want Henry to be frightened of planes. Especially as I’m going to be using them so often,” Emily continued. “Think about it. Please?”