His Secret Child

by Jordan Silver

  But I couldn’t play the fool again, wouldn’t put my heart and sanity on the line like that ever again.

  But my dick and my deceitful heart wanted her and there didn’t seem to be a fucking thing I could do about it.

  I’m sure that the longer she stays, the harder it will be to resist her, to resist the lure of what once was, what could’ve been.

  I sat down behind my desk again and laid my head back, closing my eyes and letting my mind run free. Something I had shied away from doing in the time she’d been back.

  Of course it wandered to her, but this time I didn’t fight it, just let the scenes play out reel by reel behind my closed lids.

  I saw her as the fresh-faced beauty with the kick ass body that had caught my attention; the girl who blushed whenever I whispered sexy nothings in her ear.

  Now that the anger had cleared up some with the passage of time, I saw my beautiful girl again; the girl that had grabbed my heart at first sight and still owned it. Fuck me, she still owned it.

  “Dammit.” I am still fucking in love with her. All that other bullshit I’ve been feeding myself was just that.

  But how the fuck could that be? How could her being here for a little more than a month and a half erase six years of putting up walls?

  But if there was one thing I’d learned from the worse experience of my life, it was to face shit head on, and it was time I put that shit in play.

  It was time I faced the truth and stop skirting the issue. I’d buried my head in the sand back then. I see that now.

  Too fucking hurt to even think, I’d followed where others led. Had I been too hasty? Had I been too rash when I chose to believe and accept the worse, even when my heart screamed at me that I was wrong?

  There was some fuck missing from this picture. Something I couldn’t put my finger on, but there was also a lot more that I saw clearly now with this second chance.

  No woman reacts that way to someone she hates. No woman calls a man’s name so sweetly while he’s inside her, unless she means that shit.

  “You’ve got some thinking to do Cord, and soon.” Did it really matter though? I’m pretty sure I’d already made up my mind, but it would be good to know.

  I joined them not long after, the words to that song playing over and over in my head.

  There was nothing on her face that gave away the meaning of that song, or rather, its significance to her.

  She was still a little reserved, but she’d shed some of her angst in the last few weeks as well.

  Now with the new child inside of her, she had a different look about her; a new softness that my dick found very appealing.

  So appealing, that for the first time I fucked her in the afternoon while our daughter was taking her nap.

  She’d been in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch. I’d been sitting at the table looking up baby shit on Google when I happened to glance up at her.

  That was all it took for me to stand from my chair and move over to her. She didn’t protest when I lifted her skirt and pushed my hand down the front of her bikini panties to find her pussy with my fingers.

  Or when I fought with her top until I’d bared one of her tits to my other hand. I finger fucked her as I pulled on her nipple and nibbled on her ear.

  She moved her body caressingly against mine. “Reach back between us and take my cock out.” I eased away a little so she could fight with my zipper.

  When I was free, I simply pushed her head down a bit and kneed her legs apart. I shoved the back of her skirt into the tops of her panties and used my cock to nose under the leg of them to find her pussy.

  I slipped in easy enough since she was already dripping wet. We didn’t say anything to each other, just moved together until she tightened around me and shivered.

  She wilted back into me and I lifted her into my arms, taking her down the hall to our room.

  Laying her back against the pillows, I pulled my clothes off while looking into her eyes. “Strip.”

  She was quick to tug off her clothes and leave herself open for me. “Lift your legs and spread your knees.”

  She did as I asked with her face on fire. I crawled between her thighs and lowered my head for a taste of her sweetness.

  I used my finger to search out her g-spot while I tongued her clit.

  She came long and hard, her body lifting off the bed. When she came down from that tremendous climax I moved swiftly up her body and grabbed her hair none too gently.

  “Why did you leave me?” I slammed into her while pulling her head back roughly. “You look me in the eye and tell me why the fuck you walked out on us.”

  I couldn’t hold it in any longer, no way she hated me, no fucking way this girl who still melted all around me had left me.

  “Answer me damn you.”

  She looked scared, but of what, of me? Couldn’t be, I’d never been anything but gentle with her before this.

  “What are you afraid of little girl?” I eased up my strokes and went easy on her pussy as I awaited her answer.

  “Aren’t you going to tell me?” She didn’t have to shake her head for me to know the answer. That fear in her eyes was very real.

  “Never mind, I’ll find out on my own.” I buried my face in her neck and poured my seed into her.

  For the rest of the day I caught her sneaking looks at me when she thought I wasn’t looking.

  We were both doing a lot of looking, and in between taking care of our kid we were busy loving on each other.

  That night when I pulled her into my arms to sleep, it was with a much lighter heart than before.

  Chapter 18

  ZANIA

  I can’t breathe here. It was easier when he was mad at me; that I understood. His anger and distrust, I accepted only minutes after I’d left him, but this new attitude strikes fear in my heart.

  I couldn’t live through another separation if I was stupid enough to let myself fall again. When he was being a jerk it was easy for me to pretend that I hated him.

  I certainly disliked this cold, unfeeling brute that has no feelings for me. The Cord I’d known and loved never treated me with anything but love and respect.

  This man hated me. Whatever he was told after I left, whatever he believes, it must be horrible. Fear had held my tongue when he’d asked me that question. Fear of what might happen if I said too much.

  I had resigned myself to his hate, even as I accepted that my body would always react to his touch, his very nearness.

  Each day I died a little, only coming alive at night when he took me. When I wasn’t thinking of ways to hang onto my daughter and now this new unborn child that I carried, I was fighting to keep my heart out of danger.

  Now he’s changed up on me again. In the last few days I’ve caught more and more glimpses of the old Cord.

  He was in the habit of touching me more outside the bedroom. Or sometimes, I’d catch him watching me with this strange look on his face.

  I was never bold enough to ask him why he was staring, but I did spend a lot of time in the last couple of days wondering just what he was up to.

  Whatever it is, my poor heart can’t take anymore. I’ve been through so much already, and all because I’d fallen in love.

  Sometimes I wish he’d never approached me at that party; that our paths had never crossed. But then I would never have known those few short months of bliss that would last me a lifetime, and there wouldn’t be Mia to love.

  Thinking of my babygirl made me think of her dad, the way it has everyday since the day she was born. I sometimes wonder if her illness wasn’t somehow my fault; if it wasn’t punishment for what I’d done.

  But there was nothing for it now, so there was no use putting myself through this torture. Still I couldn’t help but wonder. Had I traded one-heartache for another?

  I know I hurt him the way I left. Even had he not borne me any great love, coming home to find me gone without a trace would’ve been a hard blow for someone as proud as he i
s.

  I knew it then. Had agonized over it until I made myself sick, but in the end I had no choice, it was out of my hands.

  I pulled my thoughts back from that dark place and back to the here and now. What was he up to?

  It was getting harder to pretend indifference to his every touch, his nearness. I was strung so tight, I’m afraid I was going to pop a valve any second.

  I felt my face heat up at the memory of how I’d clung to him in bed, how I cried out for him when he took me like a beast.

  Always before he’d been tender, always putting my pleasure before his own. Don’t get me wrong, there had been times when our lust prevailed and we were both like rutting animals the way we went at each other in bed, but this was somehow different.

  It was as if he were making up for lost time, with a heavy dose of pent up anger thrown in for good measure. I clapped my hand over the marks in my neck that I’d received during this morning’s wrestling match.

  It’s weird, but when he was being hateful I didn’t feel the need to fight him. That man had no real hold on my heart. But now with him showing me glimpses of the man I fell so hard for, I couldn’t risk it, couldn’t risk my heart again.

  But how was I going to live if he took my children away? And I have no doubt that he would make good on that threat if it came to that.

  Maybe there’s a way I can live with his anger and hate, if it meant being with my children. But it was hard accepting this new reality between us after knowing his love.

  No sense in going there Zania, that ship has sailed, and no matter how hard it is to swallow, you have to accept what is.

  I so wished that it could be different though, that I had been strong enough before to fight.

  But I’d been too young, and my opponent too crafty, and by the time I realized the truth, it was too late.

  I don’t blame him at all for his attitude towards me; he was the one that had been hurt most after all. Whatever pain I endured and still do, was of my own making.

  Chapter 19

  CORD

  Our home has become our sanctuary. Neither of us has said anything about the changes in our relationship, but I know she’s aware.

  We’ve both been skirting around the edges, both set on protecting ourselves from the other. I could’ve told her days ago that it was pointless.

  I’d made up my mind and that seems to be all that was needed for me to relax and just live again.

  I had eyes on her at all times, and of course there was the tag in her purse. Pretty soon I was going to get her something more permanent, something I was sure she’d never remove because I planned to insist on it.

  All in all though, things had calmed down a little between us, except in the bedroom. There was nothing calm about our sex; the shit just kept getting hotter.

  Neither of us brought up the fact that she was already carrying my seed and therefore there was no need for her to share my bed any longer. We just carried on as usual.

  There were no longer any barriers between us when it came to fucking, and I’m not sure if it’s hormones or what, but lately she’s been more aggressive when it comes to taking what she wants from me.

  It was like having the old Zania back in my bed. The girl I’d taught to please herself, in anyway she liked with my body.

  Tonight was one of those nights it seems, as I felt the shower door open as I buried my head under the water spray.

  I opened my eyes enough to see her stepping in a little tentatively. She stopped when she saw me looking at her, and I reached out my hand for her, pulling her all the way in.

  It had to take a lot of fucking courage for her to do what she’d just done. To approach me like this, and it made me soften just a little more towards her.

  “What do you need baby?” I held her head in my hands so that I could feed off her lips, until she pulled away slowly and slid to her knees.

  I threw my head back and closed my eyes when she started teasing my cockhead with her tongue.

  One of her little hands wrapped around the base of my rod and stroked me into her mouth until I felt my seed rising in my sac.

  “Pull off babe.” She took her sweet time releasing me. ”Stay there.” I commanded her to remain on her knees at my feet while I stroked my cock until I was ready to shoot.

  I sprayed her face and chest with cum before pulling her up, lifting her between me, and the wall and driving into her.

  She screamed bloody murder and I stopped all movement. ”Fuck did I hurt you, the baby?”

  “Uh-uh, you just hit that place.” I hid the smile in her neck as I fucked her with what was left of my hard-on.

  ***

  It has been weeks since I’ve seen anyone except the two girls in my life. My days now, instead of being consumed with business meetings and spreadsheets, were filled with games played with my daughter.

  Or morning rides together with her on her pony and me on one of my horses. I’d forbidden Zania to ride in her condition no matter that the doctor had okayed it.

  That had led to me searching out a new doctor, because anyone that was dumb enough to give her that kind of advice, knowing what this child meant, not to mention it sounded dangerous as fuck to me, couldn’t be very good.

  She got stubborn on me though and refused to change doctors. Not that that would’ve swayed me, but there weren’t that many female OBGYNs in our town, so I had to give in in the end. Though there was a new stipulation, she wasn’t allowed to go there without me anymore so I could combat whatever the nut said that I didn’t agree with.

  Everything was coming along nicely. Mia wasn’t getting any better, but neither was she getting worst.

  It has been weeks since I’ve said a mean word to Zania, in fact I hardly ever thought about her past betrayal these days, and she seemed to be growing more and more relaxed.

  Though we have yet to revisit the past, I no longer felt like it was between us in the same way it had been in the beginning.

  When we turned to each other in the nights, there was less hostility now and more shared whispers.

  Now when I was through loving her, instead of turning away I spent a little more time holding her, showing her without the words that I still found too hard to utter, that I appreciated her.

  My step was lighter, and so was my heart as I approached the door. I was meeting her at my old condo to get the last of my stuff and then the place was going on the market.

  Mia was home with the nurse that I’d hired to take care of her because I didn’t want her mother overtaxing herself, and plus I felt better with a trained professional on hand in case my little girl needed help.

  I heard voices as I reached for the door handle and something in the tone made me pull back.

  “I don’t know what game you’re playing but you’re not supposed to be here. I told you what would happen if you ever came back here or tried to contact my son.”

  “My daughter is sick I had no choice.”

  “How do I even know that she’s my son’s?”

  “Because he’s the only man I’ve ever been with.”

  “Likely story but I’m not buying it, no. Girls like you are never pure, with your wild big city ways.

  You think I don’t know how you trapped my son? I paid you a lot of money to go and stay gone. None of what you’re saying now makes any difference to me.”

  Oh no Zania, you didn’t fucking sell us out for money. There was a rustling sound coming from inside that I barely heard over the ringing in my ears.

  “Here’s your check, I never cashed it.”

  “You...what game are you playing now?”

  “I left here because when you showed me all the information you had dug up on my family it scared me, to know that you had such a reach because of your wealth. Then when you threatened my grandmother I didn’t think I had a choice.”

  “So why didn’t you use the money for her operation?”

  “I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t cheapen what we had, not ev
en to save my grandmother. Now my own daughter is dying and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. And that, that’s what scares me, because I don’t know what you would do this time to get your way.”

  “I’m glad to see you still know who’s in charge. Now you do as I say and you and your whelp will be fine until it’s time to leave, and trust me my dear, you will be leaving.

  I don’t know what fairytale my son has been spinning for you, but nothing has changed. He’s going to marry Camille and when the time is right she’ll give me the grandchildren I want.”

  “Are you sure about that? I seem to recall six years ago the two of you had me half convinced that she’s what he really wanted. Funny, I’ve been gone all this time and he still hasn’t married her yet.”

  “Minor details that’s all. Now, are you prepared to do as I say? Or you know there’s another alternative to this little scenario. How about I convince my son to take your daughter and he and Camille can raise her as their own?”

  “You really are an evil woman. How could you hurt your own son like this? If you truly loved him as you claim, you would want him to be happy. You would’ve seen how in love we were and that would’ve been enough...”

  “Such emotional claptrap. I’m not evil, I’m just a very wealthy woman who does not wish to see her son waste his life or his resources on some little nobody like you.

  You’ve met Camille, you know she’s perfect for Cord in a way you never will be. She’s beautiful, from a good family and her father has the right connections to see my son on his way to the governor’s mansion or even the Whitehouse.”

  What the fuck was she talking about? I was dying to get in there, but something still held me back. Though the man I am was fucked if he’d leave his woman in that situation, I had a feeling that this was the only way I was going to get the whole story.

  I was only getting bits and pieces but it was enough, and though it broke my heart just a little to leave her in there to deal with that shit, I knew I needed this, we both did.