by Xyla Turner
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“Okay, mama don’t know about this. She can’t handle that stress right now, but I’m telling you.”
Mama, meaning his wife.
“Got it.”
“Okay, sit tight.” He went into the back.
Man, this is the type of neighbors you needed during times like these. They lived in the public housing units around the corner, but not in the high rises. Their home resembled the two-story townhouses with another family that lived on the top of them, but their entrance was in the back. I wasn’t in their business to know why they had leather couches, flat screen televisions, two luxury cars or anything like that, but Mr. Henry kept his shit tight and so did his wife.
We rode around for an hour and still no sign of the boys. Around two-thirty, Mrs. Henry’s phone rang as we were at the local iHop eating since we were famished. She was told that Reggie was at the police station. Mr. Henry did not say anything, but his features were twisted in a way that I felt bad for that boy. A few minutes later, my phone rang telling me the same information. Zee was at the precinct.
We rode there in what felt like minutes because Mr. Henry was driving so fast. Once they directed us to the right location, we were told to wait. Mr. Henry still didn’t say anything and his wife looked like death warmed over.
A police officer came out to inform us that the boys were caught spray-painting over a mural of Malcolm X near 112th Street. It was surmised that they had planned to do this for a bunch of murals since they had street numbers and descriptions on a sheet of paper. At this point, they were not being charged, but they needed to do community service, starting with the cleaning of the mural. Mrs. Henry sighed with relief, but I was quaking with all sorts of anger. Apparently so was Mr. Henry.
“The arresting officer will be out here to speak with you in a minute.” The police officer said. “The boys should be coming out here too.”
I turned to say something to Mrs. Henry until I heard. “You ain’t nothing but a pig.” That was Zee’s voice.
Then, I heard laughter, and Reggie say, “Right.”
Mr. Henry stood up, abruptly, nearly knocking the chair over. Reggie lost all humor and dread entered his face.
“You find something the fuck funny?” The big man seethed at his son.
I stood as well, to glare at Zee. His face also dropped.
“D’asia?” He choked out.
Mr. Henry had grabbed his son and was talking through his teeth in one corner and I was staring at Zee with nothing but disappointed in my face.
“I’m sorry, D’asia.” He had tears in his eyes.
“You’re not sorry. You’re in fucking jail, calling a cop a pig and think that shit is funny. I’m trying my damnedest to make life work for us and you’re skipping school and spray painting over Malcolm X. A legend, who was killed trying to make life easier for you. Not only are you disrespectful, but ignorant. You weren’t raised that way, I’m so disappointed in you. I don’t know what to do.”
“No, D’asia. I’m sorry. Honestly.” He pleaded.
“Save your sorries, Zee. You have no idea what sorry is.” I snapped.
“D’asia, is it?” A familiar voice interjected.
I turned to see the officer that kissed me. Oh my God. He was smiling at me, then when it wasn’t returned, he said, “Zeke, here had some interesting views about the police. Wondering where he might get that from.”
“Were you the one that arrested him?” I asked, ignoring his comment.
He cleared his throat and answered, “Yes, ma’am. I was.”
“Zee,” I called but remained looking at the cop.
“Sorry, sir for disrespecting you.”
“You’re not, but it’s cool. I’ve heard worse. What your Mom here is saying…”
“His sister,” I interrupted.
His eyebrow lifted to me, and then he turned his gaze on Zee and continued, “What your sister here is saying is that Malcolm X was known for his stance on black power, equality and handling things by any means necessary. He was a Muslim and known as a militant and usually called white people, devils. However, after a trip to Mecca, he saw ever color and nation worshiping Allah. He changed his views and this was not popular. He was a really smart man and though he aligned with one group, after being exposed to something different, he changed his views and this made him a target. He was assassinated, right here in Harlem. It really wasn’t that long ago. It wasn’t in our lifetime, but his spirit still lives on. To deface a mural would be horrific not just for the people in this community, but for people all over. His life impacted many.”
O-kay.
Zee looked at me to see if what he was saying was correct. I nodded my head and he put his head down in shame.
“So,” Officer McFadden, so the name on his badge read, continued. “He’s to do community service, every Saturday. A letter will come in the mail with the details. He’s to be here at 8:00 AM for the next six months and he’s going to serve his community, rather than tear it down. Right, Zee?”
“Right,” he muttered.
I wanted to say thank you. He was doing the boys a huge favor. Doing me a huge favor. However, I could not bring my mouth to say it. Call it pride or just too big of an ego, but he was waiting for me to say it. It was written all over his face. One eyebrow raised and a slight lift of the corner of his sexy lips.
“Zeke, can you give your sister and me a minute?” he asked.
He walked over to the empty chair and sat down, face to the ground.
“The name is Ryan and you’re D’asia.” He pulled me further away from the hall.
I nodded.
“So, you can thank me over coffee.” he smiled.
I knew it.
“I…” He stopped me from talking and held one finger up to my mouth.
“Before you start your shit. I’m not taking no for an answer. I tried to be nice before, but I’m not playing that game anymore. You’ve been on my mind and I don’t believe in coincidences. So,” he went into his breast pocket and pulled out a card. “Here is my card. Zee has it too and my cell phone number is written on the back. Coffee, D’asia. Just coffee. Wherever you want, but we are having coffee.”
His finger was warm against my mouth. Part of me wanted to take it in my mouth to taunt what he’d never get and the other part of me was appalled that he took the liberty to touch me like he had the right to. My back was towards the Henrys and Zee, so all they could see was him and not what he was doing. I grabbed his finger with mine and pulled it down in front of my chest. Right between my breast. His mouth parted at my bold move as his eyes looked to where his hand was resting.
“I said, no.”
He looked back up at me and said, “And I say, you’re scared.”
I scoffed at him.
“I get it. I do.” He said, “However, I don’t give a fuck. All I’m asking for is coffee.”
It would not kill me to have coffee. Then I wouldn’t have to fix my mouth to say thank you.
“Fine, just coffee.”
“Damn, you drive a hard bargain. Thought I had to break a finger to get my wish.”
“Whatever.”
“Though, I do like where my finger is right now. We won’t complain.”
I let him and his finger go.
He smiled at me, and then said, “I expect to hear from you by Friday.”
“Right.” I said and turned to leave.
He followed, spoke with the Henrys, gave them his card and left. Once we were all loaded in the car, Mr. Henry went in on the boys.
“Have you lost your motherfucking minds?” He roared.
“Calm down, Reg.” His wife whispered.
“I will not calm down. We are doing the best we can and you knuckleheads go out to get yourselves arrested.” The car quaked with his booming voice. “Reggie, your mother is sick and you know it. This is how you do. Zee, your sister, is raising you, ‘cause your mom can’t right now and this is how you do? I ex
pect more out of you. I’m so disappointed. You are grounded for two months and I swear to God, if I hear you complain even once, I’ll extend it another month.”
Once he finished, the car was filled with sniffling and not only were the boys crying, but Mrs. Henry was too. Her husband heard her, switched driving with his right to his left hand and pulled her in, so her head was on his chest.
“Babe, I’m sorry,” he whispered and rubbed her hair as she continued to sniffle and hold on to him.
They dropped us off and told me that if I ever needed anything, to just ask. We went to the house and sitting outside of the door was the ghost of Christmas nightmare. If it was not one thing, it was another.
She stood up, looking like a fraction of the woman she used to be. Her entire body was shaking like a leaf as she was probably attempting to come down. I hadn’t seen her in two years, but seeing her now, wished that time span could have been longer. She was in deep and she really needed to get help.
“Mom,” Zee ran to her to give her a hug.
“Hey, baby. You’re getting so big.” She said.
“Yeah, I’m in high school now!” He exclaimed as he looked up at her.
“Oh my, my big boy,” she said. “I came by to see you and find out how you were doing. Mama, could use a shower too and something to eat. Just get clean for a…”
“Told you before Mom. Don’t talk to him, you talk to me about that.”
She kept looking at Zee, and then slowly turned to me. “Right. How you doing, D’asia? Keeping everything afloat, like I knew you would.”
“We’re fine,” I replied.
“It’s been awhile.” She nodded her head while looking around. “Could really use a shower and some clean clothes.”
“I can give you some clothes, but you can’t come in.”
“Come on D’asia. She can take a shower.” Zee pleaded.
“You’re not in this.” I snapped.
He turned his head and she pulled him closer.
“It’s just a shower, Dee. I’ll be in and out, then I’ll leave.”
“No, Mom. This isn’t the place for you to have your pit stop and it definitely won’t be a habit. You don’t care about nothing that’s happening over here. You know your son was locked up today? Care about that? You know I’m in school? You know we are barely making it? No, you don’t know any of that because all you care about is what you want.” I started walking towards the door. “Zee get in there and heat up the food from yesterday. You eat and go to bed.”
“Dee…”
“Don’t do that, Mom. Don’t Dee, me. Like I’m the bad guy here. I don’t want to have to look over the little we have because you’re not at the place to get help. I can’t get it for you. You got to want it and you don’t. So, this is your life. Fuck us and do you, like ya been doing.”
“I’m sick, Dee.” She let go of Zee, as I was pointing and glaring at him to move.
“I know, Mom and I won’t enable your sickness. I can’t help you.”
Her features changed, then she said, “I didn’t raise you to be such a bitch.”
At that, Zee moved into the apartment because he knew it was about to get ugly.
“No, actually you did, Mom. Raised me to be this very bitch standing in front of you. Taught me everything I know. How to sleep on money. How to grow up faster than I was ready to. How to look a user in the eye, no matter if they are my mother or not and give them hard facts. How to fight your crackhead friends, when they tried to take advantage of me and you either put them up to it or were too high to care. You taught me all the bitch moves. Now go back where you were and stay there. We don’t need you.”
“Your father would be so proud,” she smirked.
“Right, that man you never told me about.” I sighed. “Mom, bye.”
“This is why I don’t come by here. You’re a disrespectful bitch to your own mother. I birthed you, fed you and took care of you. I fall on hard times and you treat me like the scum of the earth. You want to know why I don’t come.” She stood on her toes to get in my face. “This is why.”
“Maybe,” I leaned down, letting the door close and got back in her face. “You are forgetting about all the times I did let you in. Let you take a shower, let you spend the night and you took everything you could carry. Even the wig on my head. You are forgetting about all those, ‘just one times’, and it’ll only be for a minute. You forget. I don’t. Cause I got to replace the shit you steal. I have to explain to Zee, why we have to eat at Aunt Birdie’s. Why his own mother,” I hissed. “Is not allowed in the house. Why she won’t be at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. Or his goddamn birthday. So get the fuck outta here with your sob stories, Mom. You are not the same one that birthed me, fed me and provided shelter. You,” I raised my hand up and down pointed to her, “are not that woman.”
Grabbing on to the door handle, I twisted and walked in, immediately turning all of the locks.
“Fuck you, you stupid bitch,” she yelled. “Open this goddamn door. This was my place.”
I slumped against the door and let the tears flow. She banged on it three more times, then I heard the neighbor’s door creak.
“What the fuck are you looking at?” I heard my mom snap.
The door slammed back. Once I looked up, I saw Zee staring at me. He came to me and said, “I’m sorry D’asia.”
“Me too.”
Ryan
It was Wednesday and I still had not heard from D’asia. My partner made it his duty to daily remind me that my crush on the beautiful woman was stupid. Not only was she living in the projects, but her brother was destined to be a future menace to society and we would be the ones locking his ass up. The sad part about the situation, he’d been on the force for ten years and this shit happened all the time. This was why you did not get involved with the people we served. It made our jobs harder. He made some comment about my mother disproving of the dark meat, but I let that slide. He was from a different era and that race shit meant something to him. I didn’t care one bit what color she was, the woman was under my skin. She could have been green for all I cared.
I found myself looking for her everywhere and now I knew she had a brother, I was on the lookout for him too. Most of us on the force did not want to take The Trap’s calls, but lately, I was all about having some sort of excuse to see her. My partner, Sal, was not having that shit. I was only on the job for five years and according to my mother, also known as, the police captain at another district, had sights on me making detective. I did not mind being a cop that patrolled, but the shit on the street could wear on you quickly. Some of them loved it while some hated every minute and took it out on anyone that got in their paths.
Captain McFadden, my mother, was a third generation cop. Just like my father, who died in the line of duty almost twenty years ago. I was very young but had various memories of the man. Many say I look like him, act like him and even walk like him. It’s uncanny, how I did not even know the man, but carry many of his traits, like the way he walks.
“What are we eating today?” Sal asked.
“Don’t matter to me just not that shit that we ate yesterday?”
“What? You’re crazy,” Sal said in his custom Long Island accent. “That shit was good.”
“When it goes down, sure. When it comes back out, it burns your ass.” I shuddered at the memory.
Sal burst into laughter, looking about ready to bust a gut. “That shit do hurt, but it’s worth it.”
“I’ll pass.”
He loved to get the Thai food, but that shit was hot. My palate was not that sensitive. However, that food needed a label on the level of heat.
“How about that place over near The Trap, maybe we can see your girl?” he huffed.
“She’s not my girl, man.” I tried to hide my semi-excitement at a chance of seeing her. “Plus, I’m not in the mood for soul food.”
“Ha! Coulda fooled me.” Sal smirked, as I turned the corner of 102nd. “That
woman done turned you out already and she ain’t even let you taste that sweet berry of hers. That dark meat is addictive, boy. I’m trying to tell ya.”
“Stop with the dark meat, comments.” I snapped.
“Whoa, testy, huh.” I could see him nodding his head in my peripheral vision. “Jokes aside, your mom finds out about that shit, my comments will be the least of your worries. I looked her up. Mom’s strung out, the boy hasn’t been in trouble, but gangs are recruiting and you already know which ones tags the neighborhood. She’s on the straight, but the shit surrounding her ain’t. So, my last and final warning. Stay clear.”
Fuck me.
I hoped I could stay clear, but I didn’t want to.
Sal must have picked up on that because he said, “Too late, huh?”
I pulled in front of the hydrant, which was placed right in front of Tiffany’s Soul Food, then I looked at Sal. He smiled at me and said, “Well, enjoy the ride, while it lasts.”
Getting out of the car, I scoped the area and even looked up to the area where her floor might be. I wanted to see her. Had been craving her taste. That day in the grocery store refrigerator. I could not take it anymore. I wanted one taste and stole it too. Goddamn, that was a good day. She was better than I imagined. Sweet to the taste and goddammit if Sal wasn’t right. Fucking, addictive.
On some level, I knew she would not call me for coffee. She did not even want to thank me. It was evident, she was being smart and knew there would be no future between us. Why my heart and head, both of them would not let that go, beat the hell out of me. I wanted her, had to have her. It could have been chalked up to sexual frustration, but it was only with her. Sanchez, the officer who worked with my mom, kept throwing it at me. She was pretty and all, but I had no interest. She was also very popular within the force.
The week had gone by and Saturday was here. It was my day off, but I wanted to ensure that both Reginald, Jr. and Zeke both made it to the community cleaning. I stood outside of the precinct, just in case she showed up. Instead, they were dropped off in a late-modeled BMW and Reginald’s dad emerged from the vehicle out.