“Stop obfuscating the facts,” I say. “Why are you here?”
Melody sighs and peers down at her feet. Thin tendrils of her thick brown hair hang towards the floor and bounce in the wind. “I’m... well... you see... I’m... God, this is so fucking hard to say!”
“So say it,” I say. A heavy droplet of rain drips on to her cheek and curves around her sensuous and full lips. Her tongue darts out and licks the surface, ever so lightly, but all I can think is how sweet it must taste.
This is too much. I have to get her out whilst I can still control myself. As each moment lingers, my craving for her intensifies.
I don’t know how much longer I can last. Or how much longer she can.
God, how have I even lasted this long? So close to such forbidden lustful fruit.
How did I allow myself to get into this position to begin with? I should never have seduced her in the first place.
“We can’t do this,” I say.
“What? Talk?”
“You know it’s more than that. This was wrong, right from the beginning. The longer we spend here, right now, together... it delays the inevitable. This should never have happened.”
She lifts her head and her eyes are overwhelmed with sadness. She nods and my heart aches with guilt.
God, how I loath to break her heart. I never thought I’d find another woman who would make me feel this way, not since Sylvia. It’s been over a decade, but I thought I was free of this deep pang in my gut.
“What I did to you...,” I say.
“You didn’t do anything. Nothing I didn’t already want.”
I shake my head. “Your first time with someone - it should be special. Significant. It should be with someone you love.”
“Chase... I...”
“It should be with someone that loves you.”
Her face is crestfallen. A tear rolls down her cheek.
“It shouldn’t be with someone like me.”
She gives me a sombre smile. “You’re not so bad.”
And neither was she, I wished I could say. But I can’t tell her how it feels to be with her. I have to lie and obfuscate and inveigle. No matter how searing the memories are of our weekend together. How she felt underneath me, and on top, her naked skin against my own, and the taste of her in my mouth.
“The right man is out there for you. I have no doubt. Maybe you’ll find him in California.”
Another tear rolls down her pale cheek. The rain soaks her shirt and darkens the fabric that now clings to her skin. “Like how you’ve found the right woman for you?” she says.
“Damn it, Melody. This is why I had to force your resignation. Mercedes is the one I must marry, and it isn’t for love or longing or want - it’s for who she is, who her family is, what it’ll mean when our families combine.”
Melody fixes her eyes to mine, and I can see an element of shock in what I’ve said. But there’s also a faint hint of something else. Something like... hope.
“And what if I was someone important? What if my family were important? Would you marry me instead?”
I shake my head. “Even if that were the case, I could never do that to you. You’d never fit in my world.”
More tears stain her cheek as she turns away so I don’t see.
My hand reaches out instinctively and cups her cheek in the way it always does.
“And thank God for that,” I whisper. “It would ruin everything that is remarkable about you - your cheerfulness and openness and innocence. I couldn’t do that, not to you.” The metallic sound of the thunderclap lights up the sky in a dull boom. “I need someone who is already broken like me.”
“No,” Melody says though choked back tears. “You can’t marry her. You can’t!”
“I have to.”
“No, you don’t. You have to listen to me. I have to tell you-“.
“Don’t say it, Melody. Please, don’t.”
I can’t let her say those words. Once she does, we cannot go back from this. It will destroy everything. If she feels that way about me, it will destroy her.
She breathes heavy and I can see she’s steeling herself; her beautiful round face is so scared and nervous. “You don’t understand...”
“No, Melody.”
“Chase, I-.”
I cup her face in my hands. “Do not say it. Do not say those words. I know how you feel in your heart. How could I not?”
She stops, and I realise how close our faces are from one another. Our breathing is thick and fast, mingling in a warmth between our lips. I can feel her body against mine, the faint pebbling of her nipples through her soaked shirt press into my chest.
The thunder crashes again, and lightning sets the sky on fire. I cradle her face, her full pink lips merely inches my own, opening so slightly, begging to be kissed. I fight the unbearable urge to take her. Every muscle in my body screams out to throw her against the brickwork and kiss her and have her and be inside her. God, I long to be inside her so much the ache feels like I’m going to die.
I summon the last bastion of willpower I have left and take a step back and turn to look away.
“Chase... I’m...” she chokes out.
I spin around to face her. “Melody, don’t. Please. I beg you.”
“I’m...”
“No!” I scream.
“I’m pregnant.”
Thunder erupts in the sky and shakes the earth. Thick rain pelts the balcony.
“I’m pregnant,” she says. “And you’re the father.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Melody
“Say something.”
The rain pounds my body like it’s full of ball bearings and I shake from the bone chilling cold. But the feeling is so distant and nebulous; all I focus on is Chase standing in front of me on the penthouse balcony, his mouth slightly agape. It has only been seconds since I confessed my pregnancy to him, but it feels like hours.
“Please,” I say. “Please, just say something. Anything.”
“Pregnant.” The thunder shakes the rayless sky and a sheet of lightning blankets Chase’s sharp face for a moment. “You’re sure-“
“-Yes.”
“Definitely?”
“Yes.”
“And I’m the-“
“-Without question.”
His umber eyes fix on me, dilating in the dim evening light. He takes a step towards me, and, for only a moment, peers down at my belly.
“But... I don’t understand how,” he says.
“That time in the dining room, when we had breakfast. Well, we started to have breakfast, then we went straight to desert.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose and I know he’s trying to recall that time; in his eyes I can see him desperately trying to remember if we used protection. I did the same when I found out.
“Fuck,” he says, stroking back his luscious jet black hair. And now I can see he remembers how swept up we were in the whirlwind of passion and desire, and how we forgot something so simple and significant. “Fuck. I’m so fucking stupid. Damn it. Fuck.”
He starts pacing angrily, with an aura of menace, and a sense of despair starts to build in me. I knew he wouldn’t be happy with the news, but to see him actually act this way, it makes it all the more real and crushing.
He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want our baby.
I’m his biggest mistake.
The cold rain thumps me harder, but watching Chase feels like an icicle stabbing me in the heart.
Instinctively, I cup my belly. It doesn’t matter if Chase doesn’t want us - we’ll always have each other. You’ll never be alone, my dear child.
“God fucking damn it!” growls Chase. He smashes his fist against the brickwork.
I jump in fright.
He turns to me and his look becomes one of sorrow. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry for everything.”
All we can hope for in this world is to be surrounded by the people that love us. Chase doesn’t feel the s
ame deep overwhelming emotions for me that I feel for him - I know that, but maybe my feelings for him can at least provide him some respite.
“We’ll get through this,” I say.
“What?”
“Things are going to be alright.”
Chase stares at me, as if for once being unable to think of a thing to say. His handsome face betrays nothing of his inner thoughts. He just stands there, his expensive suit wet with rain and clinging to his impossibly sexy body. Droplets drip from the ends of his dark hair, as gusts of wind flick the strands away from his forehead. And then I can see it:
He’s scared.
The need to protect this man that I was on the precipice of loving overwhelms me.
“I don’t want anything,” I say.
“What?”
“I just came here to tell you. But your life, it won’t change. I didn’t come here to... I don’t want anything from you.”
The thunder booms as the cloudburst darkens the sky.
Chase’s expression morphs into one of confusion, but also anger.
“Just a weekend,” I say, “I know that’s all it was, and I’m okay with that. You’re not expected to raise our child and I’m not asking you to.”
His face becomes ominous.
“No,” he says. “You want something. You must. I’ve already paid you ten thousand. What do you want? More money? A house?”
“I don’t want anything,” I say, shaking my head.
He’s trembling.
“I don’t need anything.”
He glares at me. “Except a father. A husband. A soul mate. What woman wouldn’t?”
His voice is harsh and admonishing. I fight back tears, but I know he’s right. I do want him to love me and our baby. But I remember how it’s impossible for a man like him to love anything, and my heart breaks.
“What do you want from me?” he growls.
I cup my belly. “You’ve given me more than I could have ever dreamed. That weekend together, I’ll never forget it for as long as I live. It changed me. And not just with this little one in here, but it changed me.” I try to choke back tears but it’s impossible.
I raise my head and stare at his face, trying to memorise every line, every curve, how his bristly chin curls into his lips, under that rugged nose and hard jaw, and deep brow, and the endless depths of those eyes, blazing with a fire and passion that could engulf the world.
If I can only sear his face into my memory, maybe this will easier.
Maybe I won’t be truly alone.
“Thank you for everything, Chase,” I say. “Goodbye.”
I spin around on my heels and pace towards the balcony door. The need to look back and see his face one last time overwhelms me, but I push the feeling deep down into the pit of my soul and trudge on, my heart in ruins.
My hand quickly grabs for the handle, when Chase’s hand darts out and wraps around my wrist. He pulls me away and whirls me around to face him.
His eyes are dark and menacing.
“Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can drop this bombshell on me and then waltz away?”
I suck in my breath, scared. “What else am I supposed to do?” I say through sobs.
“Leaving with my child is the only thing that comes to mind? What’s wrong with you?” he growls.
“Wrong with me?” I rip myself away from his grip. “You’re the one who told me you didn’t want me. You’re the one who paid me to leave and never speak to you again. You’re the one who told me you’re a broken man incapable of love. What the fuck do you expect me to do? Fall on my knees? Beg you to love me and marry me and be a father to your own child? Please. You made it damn clear that’s beyond you. Really damn clear.”
I can feel the tears staining my cheeks, my eyes burning red.
“Go back to your fucking ice queen!” I cry. “She’s the one you want. All that power and money - it’s all that matters to you. It’s all that’s ever mattered to you!”
His eyes narrow. “Things change.”
“Nothing changes,” I say.
“You did,” he says. “And if this baby is mine...”
“If? If? Is that the woman you think I’ve become? A whore? A liar? You really think I’m capable of that?”
Chase fixes his stare on me, but his body is still as stone. “You never know what someone is capable of. Not until the world comes crashing down around them.”
“So what are you saying? That I was scared and stupid and got pregnant with some guy I fucked in a nightclub and I want to move west to become a singer, but - oh boy - I’m gonna need a down payment on that house. Maybe that heartless dick who spent weeks rejecting me is the ticket to my happiness. I’ll just go and lie to him - that’ll solve everything. That’s who you think I am?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to,” I spit.
He’s silent and reflective.
“I don’t know what the hell happened to you, why you can’t trust people. But believe me when I tell you I’m not lying.”
He searches my gaze. “Will you prove it?”
“What? Prove it? What do you mean prove it?”
“A paternity test. Will you take one?”
The insult shakes me to my core. How could he say something so horrible? How could he insinuate again and again that I’m some cheap slut lying to steal his money?
“You’re the only man,” I say, “the only one, I’ve ever slept with. Ever.” I take a deep breath. “But if you find it so impossible to believe that, then I guess everything between us really was wrong.”
I turn and grab the door handle again. I wait a second, hoping for something, anything. But he doesn’t stop me. I pull open the door.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I know you’re not.... I know you wouldn’t lie. About anything.”
I spin around and his face has morphed into what could actually pass as guilt.
The tears stream down my face and couple with the rain.
He stares deeply into my eyes. “I do know who you are. You’re kind and thoughtful and honest and... and I’m so so sorry.”
“Thank you,” I say with a faint smile.
“And that’s why,” he says. He inhales a deep breath. “That’s why...”
I step up to him and brush his cheek. “What is it, Chase?”
“I want you to marry me.”
I’m frozen in shock. Did he just ask me to marry him? No, I must have misheard. It’s impossible, after everything he said, how could he-
“Marry me, Melody Watts.”
My heart thunders against my chest and my legs feel numb. My head is spinning.
“You don’t want to marry me,” I say.
“Of course I do! You’re pregnant with my child, for God’s sake. What the hell do you expect me to do? Propose to that vile woman?”
I bite my lip. “Kind of.”
“Then you don’t know me at all.”
“Seems like it,” I say, my head swimming.
“We’ll have to change that.”
The blood pounds against my ears and I feel faint. I bow over slightly, waves of nausea creeping up on me.
But Chase looks concerned. He holds me, and peers down to check my eyes.
“Are you alright?” he asks.
“You really want to marry me, don’t you?”
He nods.
“And raise our baby,” I say.
His voice becomes softer. “More than anything.” He brushes a wet tendril of hair behind my ear. “If you’ll let me, I’ll protect you both. From everything. I’ll work and you’ll take care of our child, and together we’ll be a family. That’s a father’s duty.”
I smile, giddy with the thought. “Boy, you sure are old fashioned.”
He returns my smile. “I’m the father; it is what’s required.”
Required?
My heart sinks.
“Even though you don’t love me,” I say.
“Love is irrelevant.”
“Not to me!” I take his hand off my cheek. “I can’t do it.”
“What?”
“Marry you. Chase, I can’t marry someone who doesn’t love me.”
“Preposterous. Once we’re wed, you’ll forget about the need for such fantasies.” His voice is cold and hard.
I shake my head and my soaking wet hair flings cool droplets of rain in the air. “No,” I say firmly. “It can’t happen.”
“Melody, think of the child.”
“I am thinking of the child! I know what it’s like to grow up with two parents trapped in a loveless marriage. I refuse to do that to our baby.”
He grinds his teeth. “As my wife, you’ll have everything you ever wanted - money, respect, jewels and riches beyond anything you’ve ever wanted.”
“All I’ve ever wanted is a man who I love and who loves me back. If I can’t get that, then I don’t want anything.”
He grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me to him, and my heart races. “You would do that? To your own child? Throw away everything that could bring them every opportunity in the world because you’re so wrapped up in such fairytale bullshit?”
The tears burn down my cheek and I feel like I’m going to faint. “How can you be so heartless?”
“I have to be. One of us has to be,” he says. “You will have me, my name and my empire and my body.”
“And what about your heart?”
He’s silent. After a moment, he speaks. “With how events have gone, I see no other choice for us.”
“I don’t want to be your... consolation prize.,” I say through muted breaths. “Marriage is about so much more: love and friendship and belonging. Not because you have no other choice.”
“You act like I don’t want you at all.”
“Do you?” I say, incredulously.
His grip tightens and my heart thumps at the speed of light.
“Our two nights together. Remember how they made you feel?”
My breath is fast, his face and inch from my own. “Of course.”
“Imagine the rest of your life is like that.”
“Nothing but sex?” I whisper, a longing ache growing inside of me.
“Nothing but passion and desire and devouring. Tell me now that doesn’t interest you, and this will end here. But I know you, Melody. I know what we shared. It wasn’t love; it was so much more.”
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