He groaned, breaking the connection, but hovered teasingly close and I ached to have his lips on mine again. He hesitated and, for a moment, I thought he was going to tug me to him for more. Then his eyes leveled on mine. I saw the flash of terror in them before he pulled away, or rather pushed me away, seeing as how I had practically thrown myself on him.
I had never seen him look that scared. Ever. Shot and stabbed, and back from the brink of death...no problem, but kissing me struck him down with fear. Weird.
“Sorry,” I murmured. But I wasn’t. Not even close. I wanted to kiss him again and again, and I would have if I weren’t so ill-prepared for moments like this.
And if he weren’t scared to death. Of me. I doubted I would ever understand that one. And, under the fear was pure exhaustion and physical pain, which I had made worse. Man, did I feel bad.
I slid out of his grasp and prepared to stand.
His hand clamped down on mine. “Where are you going?”
The fear in his eyes was replaced with a dread of a different kind. Dread over something I couldn’t figure out. Instead of forcing him into an analysis of the last thirty seconds, and what he was so worried about, I decided to go with the easy route—the obvious.
“You need more rest.”
His eyes flicked to the door. “You can stay here.”
I wanted nothing more than to do that. Still, I hesitated and my mouth opened before I could edit what poured out of it. “Do you want me to stay because you really want me here, or just because you don’t want me around Alec?”
He was silent long enough to give me my answer.
“Alec won’t hurt me.” I started to stand and, again, he stopped me.
“Maybe that’s not what I’m worried about.”
“What are you worried about?”
He almost answered, but was frustratingly better than me at thinking before speaking. “Humor me?” he finally asked.
He was lucky he was injured. And cute. And a really good kisser.
With a look that should have let him know this discussion about Alec wasn’t over, I stretched out beside him, making sure to stay clear of his wounds this time. His head rolled toward me and I felt his breath stir my hair.
“Kris?”
“Hmm?”
I waited for the words he had wanted to say, and hoped they were words I would want to hear, but nothing followed. I felt the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, his steady breaths tickling my neck, and knew that he was asleep. Left alone with the memory of our kiss, I traced a finger over my still-tingling lips until I too succumbed to exhaustion.
That was okay, because I was sure to see him in my dreams, and for once, they would be sweet.
CHAPTER 26
I woke up at four-thirty and, thanks to a parade of thoughts of guns and blood and amazing kisses, was unable to go back to sleep. I slipped out of bed without disturbing Nathan and padded quietly out of the room, shutting the door softly behind me. Callie was asleep on the couch and I tip toed past her, into the bathroom.
I clamped a hand over my mouth to stifle the shriek of horror at the sight of myself in the mirror. I combed desperately at the ragweed on my head, but it was useless. The only thing worse than my hair, was my face, with a half-moon shadow under my eye and a red welt marking my cheek.
That bitch did give me a black eye.
I found a washcloth and scrubbed at the smudges of dirt and dried blood, only to reveal more bruises. A lot more. Giving up on my face, I washed the blood off my hands. That’s when I realized I was covered in it. Washing off in the sink wouldn’t cut it.
I opened the door and nearly ran into Alec.
“I was just coming to look for you,” I said to him.
“Lucky me.” He tilted his head from side to side, his eyes scrutinizing me. “You need a shower.”
“That’s why I was looking for you.”
He pushed past me into the small bathroom, carrying a change of clothes. Upon closer inspection, I realized that they were from my closet, in Boone. He set them on the counter along with a towel and a small bag filled with girly accessories. I recognized shampoo and body wash in the mix, and thought it all looked like it had come from my bathroom.
He turned and caught me gawking at the collection. “Thought you might want to have some of your own stuff.”
“How did you...?”
“I have my secrets. And Callie helped.” He held my eyes a beat before stepping around me. He stopped in the doorway, a grin on his face. “I’ll try not to think about the fact that you’ll be in my shower. Naked.” He winked and closed the door behind him.
Only Alec could find a way to flirt at a time like this. But then, his don’t-give-a-shit demeanor was one of the things that drew me to him in the first place. He’d always found ways to make me laugh, and this was no exception.
It felt good to laugh again.
After making sure the lock on the door worked, I got in the shower. I took my time scrubbing away the blood and grim, washed my hair twice, shaved, and dressed in clean familiar clothes. A touch of makeup covered the worst of the bruises.
Callie and Nathan were still sleeping soundly when I emerged from the bathroom, feeling and looking like a brand new girl.
The back door off the living room was propped open, allowing signs of the approaching dawn to sprawl across the floor and a wave of cigarette smoke to reach my nose. Peeking through the gap, I saw Alec sitting on the steps, and pushed the door open. A soft squeak announced my arrival.
Alec glanced over his shoulder. “Much better.”
I hovered in the doorway, though I didn’t know why. Hadn’t I been the one defending Alec all along? Hadn’t I insisted to Nathan that Alec wouldn’t hurt me? I had believed it then, and I still did. Alec had saved my life, just as much as Nathan had.
I was also very aware of the fact that he had admitted to being a Skotadi.
He patted the spot beside him and smiled reassuringly. “Come on. I’m still me.”
Skotadi or not, I knew Alec wasn’t a threat to me. I lowered to the step beside him. There was a beat of silence before he spoke up.
“I’ll understand if you have a hard time trusting me.” He turned to me with a small sad smile on his lips. “But I’m not going to stop trying to prove myself to you.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me, Alec.”
“Sure I do. You’ve learned a lot in the past few weeks. You know what you are, what I am, what he is.” Alec spoke of Nathan sourly. It was no secret they detested each other. “Problem is, you learned everything from his side and was taught to distrust me. Right?”
“Isn’t it true that Skotadi are evil?” After what I had experienced, he would never convince me otherwise.
He nodded. “They are.”
My breath hitched and my next words caught in my throat. “Aren’t you a Skotadi?”
“I am.” He slid me a sideways grin. “But do you think I’m evil?”
That was the part that had never made sense to me. Nothing about Alec was evil. Except maybe that grin of his.
“I never believed that for one second,” I admitted.
He looked both surprised and relieved. His eyes held mine, unusually serious for him. “Do you trust me?”
This time, I grinned. “That would depend on the context.”
He laughed and I was reminded of how much I had missed that sound. “I will never deny being a bad influence.” He sobered. “But on a bigger scale, like life and death, do you trust me?”
“In that case, I do. You saved me. And you saved Nathan. You didn’t have to do what you did.”
He looked annoyed when he glanced up at me, his eyelashes covering most of what I saw of his eyes. “So long as he doesn’t think I did it for him. I only did it for you.” His ornery grin resurfaced and he shook his head incredulously. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I could have had him out of the way.” With the look he was giving me, it didn’t take much to realize w
here his thoughts were leading.
“Alec, look...”
“I know, I know. You’ve got a thing for him. By the time I figured it out, it was too late to lock him back up. Just tell me one thing.” He rolled his shoulders back and turned his head toward me with a lopsided grin. “Is he a better kisser than me?”
I stared, shock rendering my brain incapable of forming an answer.
He bumped his shoulder against mine. “I could remind you if you’d like.” He wiggled his eyebrows in that way that always made me wonder how much of his teasing was real.
In this case, I think it was more real than not, and my heart galloped nervously. I wished it weren’t true, but he still managed to fluster and excite me. I didn’t want to get back into that with Alec. I shouldn’t. Couldn’t. Not now. Not after what had happened with Nathan.
I steered the conversation away from kissing, and to the more serious matter. “Do you know what’s going on? Why people are after me, and apparently want me dead?”
He looked reluctant to change the subject, but did. “I probably know more than you and what’s his name.”
“Nathan.”
“Right,” he said like it didn’t matter. “We have some stuff to talk about when he gets up. All of us.”
“And you have the answers?”
He nodded distractedly. “Most of them. What I want to know is: who was the chick running things?” he mulled to himself.
“Lillian?”
Alec raised his eyebrows. “You know her?”
I hesitated. This was a tricky one. “I know of her,” I rephrased carefully. “You don’t?”
Alec waited for me to elaborate.
“She held me hostage for who knows how long...”
“Two days,” Alec chimed in quickly. “What do you know about her?”
Two days? I hated her even more now.
“Tell me what you know, Kris.”
“She used to be a Kala,” I started tentatively.
“That’s not possible.”
“Apparently it is,” I insisted.
“How do you know?”
I nibbled on my lip. This was Nathan’s knowledge to share, not mine. I was sure it was significant, and Alec would need to know. Even so, I felt like I was overstepping a line.
“Kris,” Alec urged. “How are you so sure?”
“Nathan knew her a long time ago, when she was a Kala. He told me about her.”
“He knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t a spy?” He paused and I saw him piecing it together. “Were they together or something?”
Alec took my silence as a yes. I could see the wheels turning in his head.
“It was seven years ago,” I added quickly. “He thought she was dead until she showed up in the barn right after you...” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Wait a minute. I almost forgot. What were you doing there?”
Alec shook his head like that was an insignificant matter. “I’ll get to that later,” he said. “What happened when she showed up?”
“Nathan froze. If you’d seen the look on his face when he saw her, you’d believe me. I knew from his reaction who she was, but I don’t know how or why. All I know is she was a Kala, and now she’s a Skotadi.”
Alec’s eyes twinkled as he put more pieces together, and he talked more to himself than to me. “She was running the whole thing because she had inside knowledge about him, his habits, his strengths, his weaknesses. He was their link to you, and she knew him, giving them the advantage.”
“I don’t get it. Where do I fit in all of this?”
That had been Nathan and I’s question from day one. Funny, Alec had been the one with the answer all along. His elbows rested on his knees, his chin in his hands, as he stared unseeing across the small back yard.
In the distance, rays of light from the rising sun peeked above the horizon. It was the start of another day. I should have seen the positive in it, maybe expected dawn to bring a new day and a new beginning.
Instead, uncertainty seeped from within and struck my heart with trepidation, and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what the new day would bring.
* * *
Nathan was sound asleep when I crawled back into bed with him. As eager as I was to drill Alec for answers, I didn’t want to wake Nathan yet. More than anything, he needed rest, and I wanted to lie beside him. As always, his presence, even in a deep sleep, calmed my jitters.
My hand resting on his chest was all I needed.
I must have fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes again, sunlight was spilling through the window and Nathan was gone. A quick glance around the room confirmed that he hadn’t gone far. I found him standing at the foot of the bed, with a puzzled expression on his face as he searched for something, trying to be quiet.
Despite the visual sensory overload, my brain was able to process a couple of things in those first few seconds after seeing him.
First, I realized that I had severely underestimated his supernatural ability to heal, because there he was, up and about like nothing had happened, in front of my very eyes. Secondly, I realized that I was seeing just how good he looked cleaned up, fresh from a shower. I mean, he looked really, really good. The fact that he was in nothing other than a towel around his waist was almost too much. That was the third thing I noticed, and was what ultimately turned my brain to mush.
He had no idea I was awake. What a dilemma. I could lay here all day with this view, or I could help him out. I finally, and a little reluctantly, spoke up, “What are you doing?”
He spun around at the sound of my voice and our eyes met. The memory of our kiss washed over me, and sent my stomach into somersaults. He hesitated, and I wondered if something similar had gripped him.
“I’m trying to find my clothes,” he said, resuming his search.
“You’re definitely not going to be able to wear those.” I sat up on the edge of the bed and pointed to the heap of bloody bandages on the floor. “They’re under that mess somewhere and in no condition to wear.”
He looked from the gruesome pile to me. “What am I supposed to wear?”
“We could put a few more towels together and you could do a towel-toga thing.” Somehow, I maintained a serious expression and managed to not turn red.
From his head tilt and narrowed eyes, I gathered that he wasn’t in a joking kind of mood this morning. Regardless, I couldn’t help the grin on my face as I moved my gaze pointedly to the dresser, and the clothes stacked on top that I had pulled out of it earlier. Nathan saw them and approached with a hint of dread etched on his face.
“Alec let you borrow some of his.” I left out the fact that I had practically begged him.
Fortunately, they were close in size. The only problem was Alec’s wardrobe consisted of designer jeans and Abercrombie. Nathan was more of a track pants and t-shirt kind of guy.
He picked up a shirt like he thought it might be covered in cyanide. “I guess I get to be a pretty boy today.”
I smiled. He was going to look good in the clothes, no matter what he thought. I had picked the color just for him. The blue will match his eyes beautifully. “You never know,” I said, standing. “You might end up liking it.”
He gave me a look like he didn’t consider that even a remote possibility.
I paused as I passed by him. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about the healing thing,” I gushed as I examined the scars that were the only proof of the fatal wounds that had been there just hours before.
“Yeah, I feel fine.” He turned so I could get a better look at the scar on his chest.
“Good.” I resisted the urge to run my hands over the clean smooth skin in front of me. It took all the willpower I had to lift my eyes to his. “Don’t scare me like that again.”
My voice cracked on the last word. Not wanting him to see the tears welling up in my eyes, I hurried from the room without waiting for a response. Now that I knew he was going to be okay, the reality of how close I had come to losi
ng Nathan was hitting me. Hard.
I made it to the back porch before the onslaught of emotion took out my knees, and I crumbled to the top step. It was a good hard cry and, I had to admit, I felt better letting it all out.
I didn’t remember the moment I knew I had such strong feelings for him. Maybe because it hadn’t been one moment. Maybe I’d been lying to myself all along, and it took him almost dying for me to realize it.
Was that what had happened to him that day by the river? Had I witnessed the moment he realized what I had meant to him—the moment I had become more than the little girl he found it necessary to protect? Had he cared about me like that all this time—all these weeks—through all the running and hiding, through all the training?
Through all the arguing?
Laying his life on the line for mine suggested plenty. Looking beyond the obvious clashes we have had, I could see the other signs that I had been too blind to see until now. His gentler moments when he showed concern for me, the way he purposefully never touched me unless he had to, the words he always bit back after a moment’s hesitation, and the truth visible in his eyes when they lingered on me a second longer than usual.
It had been there all along.
The screen door squeaked behind me and I wiped at the tears, desperately trying to pull myself together. I wasn’t ready to see him. I wasn’t ready to confront what had almost happened to him or the feelings I knew I had for him—and I was sure he had for me. Not yet.
It wasn’t him that plopped down beside me. It was Callie.
She had an unnatural way of knowing when I wasn’t okay. Thanks to the red streaks that were probably all over my face, it wouldn’t have taken a genius to notice. Besides, Callie had seen the way I’d acted last night. She could fill in the blanks easily enough. From the look she was giving me, I knew she had.
“I don’t know why I’m crying,” I sobbed, throwing my hands in the air. “He’s fine.”
“You’re crying because he is fine, when by all accounts he shouldn’t be,” Callie said softly as she placed an arm around my shoulders. “For that matter, you have a lot of explaining to do. You can start with how in the hell he walked out of that room looking like he hadn’t been all but dead last night. And don’t think you’re going to get away without telling me who he is, either.”
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