But maybe that was for the best. Love was too fleeting and delicate and easily lost. Even the kind that was supposed to be permanent…like a father’s love. That left too, because there was no way to hold on to it, even if you tightened both your hands until the nails dug in hard enough to make your palms bleed. Even then, your dad still died, and his love left right along with him.
Elise bent slowly forward, watching the bloblike outline of her reflection grow larger. She pressed her forehead to the cool, wet glass and closed her eyes. She didn’t cry. It had been ten months; she was all cried out. But the cold felt good and she held herself there for a long moment.
She still had her uncles. She still had her job. And maybe someday she’d build a bigger life with a good man who didn’t mind that she wasn’t cozy and warm and comforting.
“Forget it,” she muttered, so tired that the words were more a whisper than a curse. Apparently tequila made her feel maudlin and hopeless. Next time she’d stick to beer. And she’d find a table that didn’t come equipped with the hot guy she’d mauled two years before.
Elise pushed herself off the glass and flicked the switch that started the fan. She brushed her teeth and combed out her hair. As she dried it, her ghost self became solid in the mirror, and eventually, it was just her. Looking clean and exhausted and typically grumpy.
But when she switched off the hairdryer, the high-pitched whine faded away to expose a new sound. Banging. Frowning, Elise switched off the fan as well, and then there was no question about the source of the sound. Elise met her own wary eyes in the mirror and considered who could be knocking.
It’s not Noah, she told her galloping heart. And you’re a fool to be excited by the thought.
Angry in the face of that hope, Elise wrapped a towel around her body and stalked out of the bathroom. A tiny shiver coursed through her at the change in temperature, but she refused to feel vulnerable as she put her eye to the peephole and squinted.
It’s not Noah, her brain was still repeating. But it was. And her heart slipped so quickly into a downward lurch that Elise only got angrier.
She yanked open the door and glared.
“WHAT THE HELL do you want?”
The voice sounded like Elise Watson. The words fit her perfectly. But the woman standing in front of him did not complete the puzzle. Elise Watson did not have hair that cascaded in dark, shiny waves down bare shoulders. She didn’t have cheeks that glowed with pink innocence. And she didn’t have so much skin, surely.
“Uh,” Noah managed.
“Get over it,” she snapped. “I don’t sleep in business suits, regardless of what you might think.”
Actually, she’d never worn a business suit to bed in any of his unwanted fantasies about her. He stared at the dewy skin just above the confines of the towel. She’d wrapped the towel firmly around her. It looked perfectly secure. It also squeezed her breasts so tightly that they mounded above the fluffy cotton. She looked so…warm. The scent of her soap wound around him.
Elise shifted, her hand touching the edge of the towel as if to be sure it hadn’t moved. “Did you come to apologize?”
Right. That was why he’d banged on her door for the past two minutes. Noah forced himself to snap from the daze of nearby nudity. “Yeah. I didn’t—”
“Apology accepted,” she growled and started to push the door closed.
Without any signal from the conscious part of his brain, Noah’s hand rose to stop the door from shutting him out. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. Can I apologize and blame the tequila at the same time?”
“You can do anything you want.” She glanced down at his hand. “Just not in my room.”
The sentence got all mixed up in Noah’s brain, even as he shook his head against it. Not here, she’d whispered two years before. My room. And now: You can do anything you want. But that hadn’t been what she’d said. It wasn’t what she meant.
His eyes swept down her body to the fascinating amount of thigh that showed beneath the hem of the towel. She tensed and those thighs turned from softness to muscle, and Noah’s body responded in full.
Mistake or not, she’d kissed him two years before. She’d felt it too, the aching need that arced between them. The tension that made them snap at each other whenever they were in close proximity.
But Noah didn’t feel like snapping now. He felt like touching. And kissing. And tumbling into bed with her.
Elise crossed one arm over her chest and pulled the towel tighter. “I’m not decent,” she said, vulnerability rounding the edge of outrage in her words. “We’ll talk later.”
“We never have time to talk. You’re too busy bossing me around.”
Her eyes narrowed. “That’s my job. Screw you if you don’t like it.”
He cocked his head. “Who said I didn’t like it?”
That surprised her so much that she took a step back. Noah stepped forward, sliding his body through the space she’d opened in the doorway. But he stopped, half in, half out, and waited for her to regroup. Shocking her was fun. Scaring her wouldn’t be.
Her grip tightened on the towel, but instead of making it more secure, she pulled the edge down an inch. His fingers curled in response.
She shook her head like she was tossing off her reaction. “I can’t be sweet and cuddly and still do my job.”
“No,” he answered. “You have to be strong. And hard. And sharp as a blade.”
“Yeah.” But she didn’t look like a woman who’d won a debate. Her face tightened with hurt for the briefest moment. Her gaze fell, hiding her thoughts.
“You can’t be soft,” he continued.
She raised her chin and hardened her expression, but her eyes still glinted with sadness. “Good, because I’m not.”
He swept his gaze over her body again. She looked soft as all hell right now. “Sometimes,” he murmured. “Sometimes you are.”
Panic flashed over her face and she put her hand to his chest to shove him. “I’m not!” She proved herself by pushing him hard, but his back was against the doorjamb and he didn’t move an inch. She, on the other hand, leaned into him with the effort.
Instead of sliding out the door, Noah slid his hand beneath her hair. He held her neck still, and he kissed her.
There was no softness for a moment. Elise was still straining, pushing him harder to the wall, mouth tight under his. She made a little noise of shock that was neither pleasure nor horror.
She’d said kissing him was a mistake, but she had kissed him, damn it. So he waited out her surprise. He tightened his fingers and stroked his thumb down her neck and brushed his mouth over hers. And he waited.
“Mmm,” she murmured, still not offering a hint of what that sound might mean.
But he’d waited two years, a few more heartbeats shouldn’t matter….
Her fingers ceased pushing and curled into his shirt. Her lips parted and her breath sighed over his mouth, spreading the faintest of pleasures. Noah chased that pleasure with his own mouth, opening her, tasting her. Her quick intake of breath was no neutral noise this time. The hitch in the sound coincided perfectly with the first touch of his tongue against hers.
Two years he’d waited to slide inside her again, and Noah growled with the satisfaction of it.
Her hand tugged him closer, and Noah let himself be pulled all the way into the room. He slammed the door with his heel and put his hands on Elise Watson.
Despite both their words, she was soft. Her neck was soft, and her shoulders, and her back. Her skin felt delicate as butterfly wings, despite the strength of bone and muscle beneath it. For a moment, he meant to be gentle, but then Elise curved her hand to the shape of his skull as she pulled him tighter to her. She wasn’t delicate. She was hard and strong and ruthless, and that strength had been the cornerstone of all his fantasies about her, so Noah shoved the gentleness away and kissed her harder.
Her nails slid down his neck, sending sparks shivering down his spine.
He tipped her head back. She panted as her mouth lifted from his, and Noah’s blood surged in response. He kissed her chin and the tender skin of her neck. “You’re soft here,” he murmured. She shook her head in denial. “And here.” He shaped her shoulder, edging his thumb over her collarbone. Her growl was almost a sigh.
He shouldn’t do this. He’d spent two years avoiding her so he wouldn’t step across this line, but the line had disappeared when she’d curled her fingers into his neck. And she was single, finally, and Noah hadn’t had a girlfriend since that night in Madison.
His mouth slipped lower, sucking at the place where her neck curved into her shoulder, pulling her head farther to the side. She didn’t fight him. She didn’t say no.
When he slid his hand down her chest, her skin rubbed heat into the palm of his hand. He felt her shivering as if it was his own.
“You’re soft for me, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she moaned, and her moan turned to a little sob when he tugged her towel away.
The sight of her naked body weakened him for a split second, and Elise pulled free. Her hands framed his face and she kissed him again—her mouth was as hungry and desperate as his, like they were fighting to get more from each other. The idea inflamed him. He turned their bodies and eased her back against the door before dropping down to kneel before her.
“Noah,” she gasped, “what…?” Whatever she’d been about to say, she forgot it when he closed his mouth over her nipple.
“Oh,” she sighed. “Yes.”
Noah couldn’t count the number of times he’d imagined a scene like this, and Elise was everything he’d fantasized. One of her hands clutched his head. The other pressed his hand as if to keep him from letting go. Noah ached with want at the way she tried to control him even as he gave her what she wanted. He bit her nipple, gently, then he swirled his tongue around her. Her whole body jerked against him. For a moment, he worried he’d hurt her, but then she moaned and her fingers slid between his. She dragged his hand up, away from her breast, sliding it over the skin of her chest and her neck.
Noah noted this with only the barest attention. He was too busy shaping his other hand to the naked curve of Elise’s hip and considering which of his fantasies to indulge. But before he could decide, she pulled his hand all the way to her mouth and closed her lips around his index finger.
“Oh, God,” he whispered against her nipple. All he could think was that this was Elise. Noah had lost his mind.
HIS FINGER SLID FROM HER MOUTH. Elise grabbed his wrist to try to keep him where she wanted him. She’d waited a long time to act out her fantasies.
But here was a new fantasy. Noah rising to his feet, face beautiful in its intensity. She felt so vulnerable, standing naked before him. She felt…soft.
She closed her eyes against the vulnerability, and then Noah was kissing her again, his hands roaming over her shoulders and her breasts and her hips. The door pressed cold against her naked back, but Noah was all heat against her front. She couldn’t keep track of his hands. They were everywhere, everywhere…and then her awareness focused on one spot. On one hand. On one pair of fingertips that edged down her stomach with the faintest pressure.
His fingers dragged down, torturing her, and finally they slid over the most sensitive spot on her body. Heat bloomed in a fiery rush over her skin. Her need felt almost violent, it built so quickly inside her. And Noah…Noah was still completely dressed in his suit and tie, while she wore nothing at all. Trembling at the pleasure that raced through her at every circle of his fingertips, Elise reached for him and jerked his shirt free of his pants. She caught a flash of tanned, flat stomach before she slid her hands beneath the cotton and touched his body for the first time.
He felt strong, his skin stretched like a sheet of pure heat over hard muscles. Those muscles jumped as she explored him. Before long, Elise had tilted her hips toward him and used his belt to pull him closer. She wrapped one leg around his hips and pulled him tight against her. When he pushed her hands away and finished unbuckling his belt, she looked up to his face and shivered.
Noah James looked desperate in his need. He watched her like he’d spent two long years wanting nothing more than this, just as she had. Two years of need did not make for soft wanting on her part. She needed him.
His belt opened with a clink. Her heart pounded so wildly she couldn’t hear the zipper, but she watched as he pulled a condom from his pocket and tore it open. She helped him slide it on, frantic to have him inside her. And when he lifted her and braced her against the door, Elise wrapped both legs around his waist and took him deep.
So deep.
It was perfect. Unforgiving and delicious.
She curled her arms around his neck and pressed her face to his shoulder. “Noah,” she whispered. “Noah.” Every breath she drew was filled with the scent of his skin. He filled every corner of her body.
It had only been a few months since she’d had sex, but it felt like she’d been empty for years. Noah’s strokes took on a slow, brutal rhythm.
She was going to come already. Gravity pushed her hard against him, rubbing her in just the right way. Sweat trickled down his neck, and Elise pressed her open mouth to his skin. He was sweating for her.
This was a dream. It must be a dream.
She clutched him tighter as her body squeezed him. Noah cursed. She felt his hands shake where they gripped her. “Oh, God,” she whispered into his damp hair. He slid against her one last time and her nerves stretched to the breaking point then snapped.
“No,” she moaned, but it was too late. Her body had betrayed her and all she could do was ride the ruthless waves of her climax.
She sobbed his name and held tight to his shoulders when he came with a strangled groan.
Gradually, the world returned, bringing with it a strange silence. Her heartbeat slowed, and she could hear the sounds of both of them panting, but all the rushing emotion that had taken her over was gone. It was just Noah and her, alone. The door was ice against her back. The frame of the fire-escape plan pressed into her shoulder blade.
Noah’s breathing slowed, but Elise suddenly felt like she might be drowning.
“Oh,” she said softly as she carefully lowered one leg and then the other to stand on her own once again. Before she could start babbling excuses or questions or horrified exclamations, he took a deep breath and said, “Hold on a sec.” He disappeared into the bathroom.
Seconds later, just as it occurred to Elise that she was stark naked, Noah stepped back into the room. One quick zip of his pants, and he was fully dressed again, if a bit rumpled.
Something tingled under her breastbone and spread out from there. A fizzy mix of mortification and joy and sheer disbelief. Just as she was reaching to cover herself, Noah met her eyes, and the seriousness in his gaze stopped her words.
“We’re both exhausted,” he said, slipping off his suit jacket. “We’ll figure this out later, all right? For now, we need sleep.”
Elise glanced at the clock. It wasn’t even seven, but it felt like two in the morning. For a few long seconds she was frozen by the door. How could they not talk about this now? How could she get into bed with him without knowing what was going on between them?
Panic tried to rise up in her chest, but Noah was pulling his tie free of its knot and toeing off his shoes, and her body felt weak and heavy. Her muscles yearned beneath her skin, swaying her toward the bed. “All right,” she whispered, ignoring the fact that her voice was downright soft, and she rushed for her suitcase.
She’d just had sex with Noah James, and the very fact that she wanted to cuddle up naked with him was enough of a reason to pull on panties and an old T-shirt. Sex was one thing. Cozy, sweet cuddling was another. That was an intimacy she could not grant.
When he spied her pajamas, Noah raised an eyebrow that implied she was a coward, but he stripped down to his boxer briefs and stopped there.
Elise slid beneath the covers and stayed solidly on
the left side of the bed, but Noah’s respect for her boundaries ended with underwear, apparently. He turned over, pulled her close, and kissed the top of her head. “Mmm,” he murmured. “You’re even softer now.”
“Shut up,” she snapped.
He chuckled against her hair, but her words worked. He stopped talking. His body lay heavy against hers, making her feel small and feminine. “Noah—” she started, but he shook his head, his lips brushing her temple.
“We’ll talk, Elise. But give me a little while. I’ve been up for two days and I just had a mind-blowing orgasm. My brain isn’t in top form. We’ll be okay for a few hours.”
She should make him leave. She should’ve never let him in. This had been an awful mistake, and letting him sleep in her room would only complicate the issue. But in the end, she spent too much time thinking, and his breath grew even and deep against her. And he smelled so good, and his arm was so warm across her waist.
Elise closed her eyes, then she carefully curled her body so that their skin touched in as many places as possible. He’d never know, and she was too tired to pretend anymore.
CHAPTER FOUR
“MS. WATSON!”
Elise drew a deep breath of spiced air and purred with pleasure. She’d been dreaming of Omaha and snow-swept plains, but now she was so warm. As if she were stretched on the sun-heated sand of a tropical beach. “Mmm,” she sighed. The beach curved around her and eased her into a hill of hot sand.
Somebody rudely pounded on the door that stood next to the coconut palm. But why in the world was there a door standing on the beach?
Her eyes popped open. A chest came into view, dusted with dark hair. She squinted at a flat bronze nipple.
“Ms. Watson?” a muffled voice yelled.
“Holy crap!” she yelped, lunging upright.
Noah’s eyes opened, but they were heavy with sated exhaustion. “Good morning, beautiful.”
“Oh, crap,” she cursed, her gaze sliding toward the door. “Just a second!” she screamed.
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