That patently ridiculous thought shook him from his reverie, and Noah gestured toward the sidewalk. They walked in silence for a long while, but the quiet wasn’t content. It was a pulsing, straining quiet, squeezing them with unspoken thoughts.
Or maybe that was all in Noah’s head.
Without a word, they headed down a sloping trail that led away from the streets of downtown where bars spilled drunks out onto the streets. The farther they walked, the quieter it grew, until the only sound was the occasional music of the black river ahead.
“Noah,” Elise snapped, making him jump. She cleared her throat and shook her head. “Thank you. It’s nice here. Pretty.” The last word was hesitant, as if she weren’t used to using delicate language.
They left the safety of the trail lights, and now only the moon brightened their way. It glinted and flashed off the river, but it was still dark. Dark enough for what Noah needed to do, anyway.
“Two years ago, you kissed me,” he said.
Her shoes scraped roughly against the trail, but she caught herself before she stumbled. “I know. I’m sorry.”
His jaw tightened. “That’s not what I want you to be sorry for.”
“I don’t get it. Haven’t I been sorry enough? Haven’t I apologized and… It was just a kiss. Why do things have to be so difficult between us?”
“Because I’ve had a thing for you for two years, Elise.”
She stopped so quickly that pebbles skittered off the trail and rustled into the bushes. “What?”
“That’s why it’s always been so…tense. At least on my side.”
“Noah. That doesn’t make any sense. You never said anything. You never said anything!”
“You were in a relationship. A long one.”
“I…no…you had a girlfriend!”
Noah shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky to give himself a moment. The sky stared coldly back. “I left her. For you. You kissed me and…”
“What?” she whispered, every inch of the word tight with disbelief.
Yeah, he had trouble believing it himself. “I had a thing for you, but I ignored it until the night you kissed me. I called my girlfriend that night and ended it. I knew it was over. And then…” He flashed her a pained smile. “I found out you were already involved with someone.”
“No,” she breathed.
“Yeah. Pretty pitiful, huh?”
She didn’t acknowledge his huff of laughter. “You pushed me away!”
The pain in her voice surprised him into a frown. “When you kissed me?”
“Yes, you pushed me away. I invited you to my room, Noah. And you said no. You didn’t want me. I don’t understand…”
“I didn’t want it to start that way. Not with you.”
“Oh, God.” She covered her mouth with both hands.
Noah shook his head in confusion. Why the hell did she look like she’d seen a ghost? “Look, that’s in the past. Obviously, if I was that into you, things were never going to work out with the woman I was seeing. And your relationship was, um, stronger than it seemed, I guess.”
She pressed her fingers harder to her mouth. Even in the dark, he could see her knuckles turn white.
“Elise.”
The moon glinted off the river behind her, then caught in the moisture in her eyes.
“Hey,” he said, shocked by the sight of tears.
“I didn’t have a boyfriend,” she whispered.
The words must have been warped by the pressure of her hands. He froze in the act of reaching for her. “What?”
“I didn’t have a boyfriend.” She lowered her hands, her eyes watched him with wide horror. “I was embarrassed. Horrified. I’d thrown myself at you, and…we were going to be working together for a long time. I didn’t want that awkwardness between us. Me liking you, and you feeling sorry for me.”
“What?” he repeated, disbelief buzzing behind his eardrums.
“I didn’t start dating Evan until two months later.”
“You’re kidding me, right? That’s a joke?”
“Noah, I’m so sorry. If I’d known… If I’d known…”
He just watched her, stunned and sorry for what they’d wasted.
“If I’d known,” she whispered, “I’d never have let you go.”
His sorrow swept away at those words. Those words that let him know she’d spent the past two years with want and need and yearning. Just as he had. “God.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again, but Noah no longer wanted regret from her. They’d both been stupid. Idiotic. Foolish.
They deserved each other.
He stepped closer. Tears glistened on her pale cheeks, so he framed her face and wiped them away with his thumbs. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry,” she said on a broken whisper. “I lied.”
“And I’ve been lying to you for two years. But not anymore.”
Her lips were cool and tasted of salty tears when he kissed her, but it took only a few heartbeats before the kiss turned hot and eager. Not quite desperate. Something sweeter than that, because it was the first honest kiss they’d ever shared.
By the time the kiss ended, their arms were wrapped tight around each other, their breath coming too fast. Elise buried her face in his neck, and he felt the tremors running up her back. She was skittish and afraid, but she still held tight to him. Thank God.
“How could we have screwed up so badly?” she breathed against him.
He kissed her hair. “We’re hard-headed.”
“Stubborn.”
“Arrogant.”
Elise sighed. “And now it’s too late.”
No, he wasn’t going to let that be true. He’d show her it couldn’t be true.
“You smell so good,” she murmured.
Noah shivered when her teeth scraped his neck. “Elise…”
“You’re cold. We should get back to the hotel.”
“I’m not—” he started, than snapped his mouth shut. “Yeah, let’s get back to the hotel. It’s freezing.” Elise giggled—giggled—and took his hand to tug him back the way they’d come. They walked faster, rushing toward the streets of downtown, but the hotel was nearly a mile away. When they reached the first little stone tunnel that ducked beneath a narrow road, Noah pulled her to a halt.
She swung toward him with a laugh, but the laughter died in her throat when he eased her against the stone wall and kissed her again. Her breath tangled with his, rushing over both their lips. Firecrackers popped and sizzled in the distance. Fingers of light from passing cars snuck into the tunnel, but didn’t reach their bodies.
“Noah,” she sighed, with the exact amount of yearning he wanted to hear. She snuck both her hands into his hair and pulled his mouth to hers again, answering any questions about what she might want.
Noah was determined that the next time they had sex it would be on a horizontal surface, he truly was. But her coat was open, and her hips curved so nicely in his hands, as if they wanted to be held tight. She whimpered, tugging him closer, then groaned when he pressed against her.
There was something unique to her. Something that drew him close and took him over. And to think that he could transform someone so strong and unreachable into a whimpering bundle of nerves… Her need humbled him and swelled him with impossible power at the same time.
“Noah,” she whispered. “I can’t get enough of you.”
“Good.” He edged his thumbs under her sweater and found another layer of fabric beneath, this one hot from being pressed to her skin. His hands soaked up the warmth and wanted more. He slid his whole hand beneath the shirt and relief filled him up. Her stomach jumped at the touch, and then she arched into him with a gasp.
Suddenly, all sweetness was gone. Their kisses turned frantic. Their hands greedy. He needed her. Now.
He unbuttoned her jeans and tugged them open. Finally, he found true heat—his fingers cupped her. Her breath twisted in white wisps on the icy air, but No
ah felt sweat limn his body.
“Please,” she sighed.
He’d slide into her right now if he could. He already recognized the hitch that broke apart every breath she took. She was so close already. Her nails dug vicious crescents into his back. Her hips rocked into his hand. Just a few more seconds…
She cried out as her body shook apart against him. In case there was anyone nearby, he covered her cries with his mouth and drank them down.
She was still trembling when she fisted her hands in his jacket and pushed him an inch away.
“Think you can manage the trip back to the hotel?” he asked.
“Yes. I feel much better.” The white gleam of her smile glowed in the moonlight.
“Me, too.”
ONCE THEY WERE ALL REARRANGED and decent, Noah took her hand and they strolled slowly through the tunnel and out into the moonlight.
“That was…” Elise shook her head.
He couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah.”
“I’m beginning to wonder if you can even perform in a horizontal position.”
“We’ll have to see.”
“Someday I might even get you to take off your shoes. Or pants.”
“If you’re lucky.”
She giggled again, which only made him grin harder. Jeez, they were like a couple of teenagers together instead of thirtysomething adults. A snowflake touched her nose. He felt the sting of one on his cheek. And suddenly the sky was filled with swirling glitter.
“Wow,” Elise breathed. She whispered “wow” again when the first fireworks exploded over the buildings of downtown. A flash of red, then a blue flower. Car horns everywhere blared and honked. Elise and Noah raised their faces to the snow to watch the fireworks explode.
“Well, Noah James,” she said to the sky. “You’re pretty damn good.”
“I have the power of the federal government behind me. I pulled a few strings.”
“Very impressive.”
He pulled her into her arms and pressed a careful kiss to her red lips. “Happy New Year, Elise.”
“Happy New Year, Noah.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
THEY MANAGED TO MAKE their nine-o’clock meeting, but only because the meeting was moved to a less formal location: Elise’s bed.
She sat cross-legged in her underwear, winding the hem of her T-shirt around a finger. “It’s 280 thousand dollars, Noah. It doesn’t matter. Why can’t you just let it go?”
He shrugged his broad, naked shoulders and went back to typing on his laptop. Whatever her frustration with him, the man was a gorgeous specimen of male flesh. Neither bulging with muscles nor wiry and lean. He was just…solid. And every small movement showed a shadow or curve of strength in his chest or arm or thigh. Her mouth rose in a half smile at the small peek of crisp hair and tan skin revealed between the top of the rumpled sheet and the leg of his white boxer briefs.
She wanted to toss that laptop away and throw herself into his arms. But Noah was frowning at the computer screen, his dark eyebrows drawn together in a crumpled line. He was grumpy when he was working.
Elise sighed and flipped onto her back to stare at the ceiling. “Tell me again.”
“There’s money trickling out somewhere. There are discrepancies in the bank’s internal accounts. Small adjustments made here and there…the tiniest percentages. But I can’t find how the money is getting out. Even Tex can’t detect the outflow. Where is it going?”
“Over what time period?” she pressed.
Noah grunted. “Years. A dozen years.”
“Two-hundred eighty thousand over a dozen years? You’re kidding me, right? That’s twenty thousand a year.”
“Twenty-three thousand.”
“That wouldn’t even allow John Castle to support a mistress. Or not a very high-end one, at any rate.”
“You gave me until Monday.”
“And we’re here, aren’t we?”
He glanced at her over the top of his laptop, his eyes crinkling in a brief smile. “We definitely are.” Then he went back to his numbers.
Her gut burned faintly with anxiety and she pressed her hand to it to try to rub it away. “I just…”
Ten seconds passed. He didn’t seem to notice that she’d spoken, and Elise was relieved. But her relief snapped away when she glanced over to find him watching her again.
“What?” he asked.
She rubbed her face. “I don’t know. I just…I don’t want them to be bad people.”
“The Castles?”
“Yes.”
“You like the old lady that much?”
“I don’t know.” She rubbed her eyes too hard and saw stars. “This job has been so straightforward. It’s working out. I feel like we did something good.”
“We’re never the bad guys, Elise.”
“I know that! But, God, I get tired of feeling like we are. The Castles made mistakes. They screwed up. They lost their life’s work. They almost lost people’s jobs and savings. But I don’t think they’re criminals, because I just don’t want them to be.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry. It’s been a hard year. I’m glad it’s over.”
His hand touched her knee and squeezed. “I heard about your dad. I’m so sorry.”
Her throat tightened, but she swallowed the tears. The year had been bad, and her dad’s death had been a big part of that. Still, even though she missed him every single day, she would be okay. She reached for Noah’s hand and took the comfort he offered. “Thank you.”
“And maybe you’re right,” he said softly. “There’s no proof they’re criminals. If I can just find the damn money, maybe we’ll discover a happier truth. Now where the hell did the money go?”
“Maybe it never left,” she said flippantly. “Did you check all the desks?”
“I’ll make Tex do that tomorrow morning.” His hand tightened around hers. “I’ll wrap it up as quickly as I can, and I’ll try for a happy ending, but no promises.”
No promises. Did he mean…? “I understand,” she said. “Sure. It’s no big deal.”
“Elise.” He shoved the laptop to the side and leaned toward her. “I wasn’t talking about us.”
“Maybe not, but how else are we supposed to leave this? We live two thousand miles apart. We’ve been on, what? One date?”
“Seriously? One date? We’ve had sex four times in a week.”
“Well, most of that was in the past twelve hours.”
“You’re damn right. That alone is a good reason not to let you throw this away.”
She sat up. “I’m not trying to throw it away!”
“You’d damn well better not be!”
Fear and love and panic suddenly welled from her chest like a wound. “How are we supposed to date?” she said softly, worried that her heart was breaking right in that moment. “How?”
“Elise.” His hands, those hands she’d wanted for so long, they closed over her arms and pulled her closer until she straddled his legs. When she looked away, he touched her cheek to bring her eyes to his. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve wasted two years. Two long years.”
She had, too. Elise nodded, afraid to speak. She was so bad at this. How could he admit so much without being afraid? She would’ve walked away before confessing how lonely she’d been. For him. Even when she was supposed to have been in love with Evan, she’d been lonely.
“We’ll manage it. I’ll fly to D.C. You’ll fly to Denver. Vacations. Email. The phone.”
“Noah…”
“Listen to me, damn it. This is good. I am not leaving this to chance. And Jesus, I moved to Denver to get away from you, I can damn well move back to get close again.”
Her trembling heart stopped beating. Her knees tightened against his hips. “You did what?”
Noah grimaced and collapsed against the pillows. “Nothing. Forget that.”
“Forget it? Noah…why would you—”
“You were in love with someone else, and I wanted this thing between
us to be over. That’s all. I just wanted it to stop.”
Her heart was a ball of pain in her chest. “But it didn’t,” she whispered. “It never stopped.”
“No.”
Why did he like her so much? She was too hard, too tough, too afraid to bend. But she bent now. She leaned into him and pressed her mouth to his bare chest, breathing out her pain into his skin.
She thought of the countless hours they’d spent together. She’d watched the way he moved, admired his decisiveness, eavesdropped on his conversations with others, noticed the small kindnesses he didn’t want others to see.
“Noah.” She kissed her way up to his chest, pressed her mouth to his thumping heart. “I love you.”
His heart jumped beneath his ribs.
“Don’t say anything back. Please. I just wanted to tell you.” The weight left her as suddenly as it had come. She’d done it. Something brave and right.
She felt his hands slide gently into her hair. He eased her up and sat up himself so their faces were only inches apart. “Don’t tell me what to do, Elise.”
“I didn’t say it so you’d say it back.”
“Too bad.” He kissed her so softly that tears sprang to her eyes. “I love you,” he murmured. “I’ve loved you for so damn long.”
She couldn’t say a word. The fear was back, but it was soaring on wings inside her, gliding in big looping swoops that left her breathless. So Elise kissed him hard and pushed him down so she could press into him. She swept off her shirt and shoved his shorts down, desperate to fill herself up with something more than this awful hope. He was ready for her, but he stopped her hand when she reached for him.
“Shh. Slow down.”
But she couldn’t. She was going to break if she didn’t have him now. She was going to break and sob and confess everything she felt, and that scared the hell out of her.
She met his eyes. “Please,” she rasped.
He held her gaze for a long moment before his face softened. Then he reached blindly for the box of condoms next to the bed.
Thank God.
THE WORRY IN HER EYES was killing him. She needed something from him, and Noah was determined to give it to her. Her body rose above him, her waist curving into flared hips. Her breasts firm and proud and peaked by surprisingly dark nipples.
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