Tallie's Knight
Page 34
changes you wish and draw on any sums you think necessary. My man of
business, Jefferies, has been informed thus.
Full permission to make any changes she wanted? Draw on any sums she
thought necessary? How long was he expecting to be gone to make
arrangements like that? Informing his man of business?
In addition, you will need to order a new wardrobe.
Tallie glanced down at her golden tea gown. It probably was a little
shabby, she reflected sadly. Despite the miracle wrought by the
maids.
And it was growing a trifle tight. Yes, she supposed she would need a
new wardrobe. You will not lack for either advice or masculine support
during my absence, for I offered my oldest friend, Freddie. Winstanley, the living at d'Arenville and he moved into the
vicarage last month. You may repose complete confidence in both
Freddie and his wife, Joan Janet Jenny. You will like them.
Was that an opinion of her taste in people or an order to like his
friends? It was hard to know. But why was he not here to introduce
her to them? How long did he plan to stay away? Tallie read the last
lines with great trepidation.
I will make every effort to return before you are brought to bed of a
child, but if not my thoughts will be with you. Take care, my dear.
Your affectionate husband,
She could just make out the scrawl at the bottom--d'Arenville.
Tallie crushed the letter slowly to her breast and stared blankly out
of the window. She had no idea how long she sat there staring, but she
was vaguely aware of Harris coming in at some stage and silently
removing the dish of cold soup.
He brought a plate of roast beef, fresh and hot, but she took one look
at it and pushed it away. She felt sick.
I will make every effort to return before you are brought to bed of a
child, but if not my thoughts will be with you.
She could think of nothing, no business, however important that could
keep him away for such a long time. Harris took away the second
untouched plate and returned with Mrs. Cobb and Monique. Tallie was
vaguely aware of some whispering behind her, but she could take in
nothing. nothing but the fact that Magnus had brought her here to
d'Arenville Hall and left her the very next morning. Leaving a coldly
formal letter explaining he might possibly find the time to return
after his heir had been born. He had abandoned her. The truth
pounded in her brain like a hammer against an anvil, but she could not
take it in.
It was as she had heard him say to Laetitia all those months ago. He
wanted a plain, convenient wife whom he would get with child and live
in the country. But he couldn't have just left her. Not Magnus.
Surely he wouldn't. not without even saying goodbye. Unless he really
had abandoned her. He would have found it difficult to face her,
knowing what he planned. maybe too difficult. A new thought occurred
to her. Perhaps his coldness towards her after their difference of
opinion about her little brother had been feigned. or at least
exaggerated. Perhaps even then he had been preparing to leave her
here. alone. She shivered, suddenly feeling very cold.
"Milady," said Monique at her elbow.
"Are you all right?"
Tallie did not answer.
"Feeling a bit poorly, the wee mite," said Mrs. Cobb gruffly. She
picked up the linen napkin and gently blotted Tallie's face with it.
The napkin came away damp, and Tallie stared at it, dimly puzzled. She
lifted a trembling hand to her cheeks and found tears. She'd been
crying without knowing it.
Shakily she stood up.
"I want to go to bed, please. I don't feel very well."
On trembling legs Tallie approached the staircase she had floated down
so hopefully only a short time before. It loomed before her now, an
almost impossible climb. Doggedly she took one step, then another,
then another.
"Tallie, my dear, forgive me for calling unannounced--' Hurriedly
Tallie sat up, surreptitiously wiping her eyes before turning to face
the minister's wife, Janey Winstanley, who had become a good friend
over the last few months.
Janey stopped in mid-sentence. Her face crumpled with concern as she
took in Tallie's woebegone face and reddened eyelids.
"Oh, my dear--' she began.
Tallie interrupted.
"All these dratted changes to the house have stirred up so much dust
and I am forever catching it in my eye." She rubbed her handkerchief
over it, blinked care's Knight fully, and then said with a bright,
false smile, "See, it is out now.
Shall I ring for tea? "
Janey looked at her in dismay.
"My dear, you don't have to pretend with me. It is monstrous crue--'
Tallie cut her off.
"Yes, tea, I think, and shall we take it in the new Blue Room? I am
anxious for your opinion." She took her friend by the arm and led her
towards the new blue salon.
Janey allowed herself to be taken, a troubled frown on her face. She
stood in the doorway, admiring the newly refurbished room.
"I cannot believe what a change you have wrought in this house,
Tallie," she said.
"I never did like-- I mean, this house was always very grand and
impressive, but--' Tallie smiled.
"I didn't like it much either."
Janey smiled back.
"Forgive me, I didn't mean to be rude. But you've made such a
difference. It is so light and... so pleasant and welcoming. How did
you manage, in your condition?"
Tallie shrugged.
"It was not difficult. My husband gave me carte blanche to do as I
wished with the house, and all I had to do was decide what changes to
make."
Tallie made light of her achievements, a little embarrassed to receive
praise for something done in a surge of anger. During the first shock
of Magnus's abandonment she'd blamed the house itself for her
predicament--the house where the boy Magnus had not been welcome, where
the man Magnus could dump his unwanted bride.
If he'd had a home instead of an ancient showplace Magnus might have
been a different man, a man who could let himself care, even a little,
for his wife. So she'd attacked it with a vengeance, changing
everything she could, forcing the past into obscurity, removing all
reminders, all echoes of his forebears. It might not ever be a home
for Magnus, but she was determined it would become a home for her
children. And for herself.
"I cannot believe what you have done," added Janey.
Tallie looked at her new friend with faint trepidation. She had done
what she'd set out to do--made Magnus's boyhood home unrecognisable.
Men hated change. He would probably be furious with her. Good. She
was utterly furious with him-she told herself so a hundred times a day
so she would not forget.
"You have turned a mausoleum into a home."
Tallie smiled politely, but she knew Janey's words were not true. The
house was more pleasant, but it was not yet a home. A home needed love
to warm it. and children. She felt h
er eyes mist and laid her hand on
her stomach.
Janey's eyes followed her movement.
"It won't be long now, my dear. Do have you had any word from your husband? "
Tallie rubbed a hand over her swollen belly and gazed out into the'
garden She turned to her companion and smiled brightly, but without a
great deal of conviction.
"Oh, no. But then he is extremely busy. Urgent business, you know."
Janey snorted.
"In all these months?"
"Well, men do not enjoy writing letters, I believe. In any case, they
say no news is good news," said Tallie with a pathetic attempt at
cheeriness. The two women fell silent for a while.
"I cannot believe he--' began Janey.
Tallie laid a hand on her friend's knee.
"Don't, please." She bit her lip and Janey subsided.
"I am sorry to distress you. It is just I cannot bear to see you so
unhappy."
"Unhappy?" said Tallie tremulously.
"How could I be unhappy? I have a lovely house, a secure home, wealth
to spend as I like... You forget I was little better than a pauper
before I married."
"As if that--' " But I explained it to you before, Janey. I knew what
I was doing when I married Magnus. I knew then he planned this,
planned to leave me here as soon as I began increasing. "
"It is just so cruelly unjust--' " No! It is all my own fault. It is
just. I have a foolish tendency to indulge in silly, childish
daydreams, and in my foolishness I read something more into Magnus's
behaviour towards me, that is all. But he never said anything to make
me believe he. he lo-He never lied to me. It is just. misunderstood.
he has. he has beautiful manners. that is the trouble. " Tallie
pulled out a damp and crumpled handkerchief and blew noisily into it.
"This dust is shocking, is it not?" she added, blinking her lashes
furiously.
There was a long pause as Tallie dabbed at her eyes. At last Janey
spoke.
"You know you do not need to face this alone, my dear. I will--' " It
is very good of you, but I will not. be alone, thank you, Janey.
My husband said he will come, if he can. This child means a great deal
to him, you know. " Tallie added wistfully, " He needs an heir. The
d'Arenvilles are a frightfully ancient family. "
Janey patted her hand.
"Well, just in case, be sure to send for me the minute you experience
the slightest twinge."
"There is plenty of time. Monique says it will be several weeks yet,"
said Tallie. Poor Monique, Tallie thought. She, too, had been unlucky
in love.
"Um... Freddie wrote to Magnus, you know."
"Does Freddie know where he is?" Tallie turned a look of painful
intensity on her friend.
Janey shook her head, regretting her impulse.
"No, he sent it to Magnus's lawyers to pass on. It was just about...
about parish matters," she lied.
"Oh." Tallie nodded dully.
"Parish matters. Of course."
"I must go now," said Janey.
"Sorry I cannot spend more time--' Tallie forced herself to brighten.
"No, no, of course you must go. I cannot keep you from your dear
husband and your two lovely children.
It must be wonderf-It was very good of you to visit me, Janey. I find
it hard to walk far these days; my ankles swell so if I overdo it. " She levered herself out of the
chair.
Janey bent to kiss her on the cheek.
"Take care, my dear," she said, and left.
Take care, my dear. Magnus's last words; his last written instructions
to her. Tallie closed her eyes. It was dreadful how shockingly weepy
her condition caused her to be. It would pass soon, she told
herself.
That and the dull aching pain of knowing she was not loved, not valued
at all, except as a brood mare.
It was her own fault, she told herself firmly. She had deceived
herself. He had never said he loved her.
And it wasn't as if she had anything to cry about. Others had much
more serious problems--her little brother, for instance. The
thought of a small boy facing the winter alone was too distressing even
to contemplate.
It was just her condition that made her feel a touch melancholy. And
it wasn't as if she didn't have hundreds of moments of happiness to
look back on. Tallie gasped suddenly as a tiny fist or foot thumped
her from within.
It was a timely reminder. She should stop fretting over the past and
think only of the future, for soon she would have a dear little baby to
love.
The pain would pass.
Everybody said it would.
Although they were only talking about the pain of childbirth.
Chapter Seventeen
Tallie sat on the terrace enjoying the winter sunshine. She had
several shawls tucked about her, for it was very cold. It would have
been sensible to go inside, but she did not feel inclined to be
sensible. She felt both lethargic and oddly restless.
Idly she watched a coach bowling along the road bordering the estate.
She knew most of her neighbours' conveyances and she did not recognise
this one. A passing stranger?
She sat up straight as it turned in at the gateway. Miles Fairbrother,
the gatekeeper, came out to speak to the driver. Then he opened the
gate and the coach drove through. Whoever it was must have legitimate
business, for Miles did not grant entry lightly.
For one terrifying, ecstatic moment it occurred to Tallie that it might
be Magnus, returning for the birth of the child, but this coach was
plainly not her husband's. It was small, outmoded and shabby, and the
horses were not at all the sort of cattle her husband would own.
The horses seemed tired. Whoever it was had travelled a long way.
Tallie pushed herself out of her-chair and walked around the house
towards the front. Harris had also seen the visitors, for the front
door was wide open and he stood there, waiting.
"Do you know who it can be?" she asked him.
"No, m'lady. I've never seen that coach before. I hope Fair brother knows what he's doing. Would you care to wait inside the
house, m'lady? "
"No. I know it is not the thing for me to wait here like this, but I'm
curious," answered Tallie.
"I'm sure it will be all right."
The coach came rapidly up the drive and halted. The driver, an
unshaven ruffian in a frieze coat and red muffler, climbed down.
Tallie frowned. He reminded her of Gino, but he turned to let down the
coach steps and she could see his face no longer.
Tallie stood watching. A frisson of tension passed through her and a
hand crept to her throat. A tall man stepped down from the shabby
coach, a tall, weary-looking man, with overlong dark hair and--she knew
without seeing them--grey eyes.
"Magnus!" She hurried down the steps and ran awkwardly towards him,
then recalled herself and stopped short, hesitating, suddenly afraid.
By the very manner of his leaving he had made it abundantly clear he
did not want her love. So how was she to respond to his return? All
she wanted w
as to be in his arms. But what did he want?
He took several steps towards her, then stopped and stared.
Tallie ran a hand self-consciously over her stomach, but she did not
take her eyes off Magnus. His skin was uncharacteristically bronzed,
but under that he looked exhausted. He had not shaved in several days
and his eyes had dark shadows beneath them. His face was thinner, too,
almost gaunt. A tattered greatcoat was draped around his shoulders. He
lifted a hand in an awkward, half-hearted greeting, and the coat
slipped from his shoulders. His arm was in some sort of sling, she
realised.
"Magnus, you are hurt," she cried, and hurried across the gravel
towards him, her misgivings forgotten in her concern. But just as she
was about to reach him he turned away from her. She stopped,
unbearably wounded.
He said something she didn't catch to a person inside the coach.
Tallie waited, struggling for composure. He had brought a guest.
A small figure scrambled out of the coach and stood behind Magnus, as