Before he could stop himself, Will’s gaze found her, laughing with two other women. Memories rushed in before he shut them off. Thinking about the past was a waste of time. But the irony that his one and only serious girlfriend showed up out of nowhere on the night he questioned relationships wasn’t lost on him.
James leaned toward him. “Here’s your chance.”
Just because Trisha was back didn’t mean she’d be interested in seeing him, especially since he was the one who’d broken it off. He liked Trisha. He just hadn’t loved her. And that had been a huge problem.
“Go talk to her.”
“Oh, hell no.”
One of her friends noticed him and patted Trisha’s arm, then pointed his direction. Trisha’s head turned, the smile on her face falling away.
Will’s stomach clenched. “Oh, shit.”
“Oh shit is right,” James laughed, angling his body in his chair. “I bet you ten bucks she comes over and rips you a new one.”
Leave it to James to find the hilarity in Will’s potential humiliation.
She stood and walked toward them, her face expressionless.
Steeling his shoulders, Will prepared for the worst.
Putting a hand on her hip, she stared at him, narrowing her gaze. “What? You show up in Morgantown, Will Davenport, and you didn’t plan to say anything to me?”
James groaned. “Calm down, Trisha. We just saw you.”
Her attention turned to him. “What a fucking surprise. Look who’s here. Will can’t take a shit without you waiting to pick it up.”
Clutching his hands to his chest, James tilted his head with a grin. “Ouch, Trish. That really hurt.”
“Shut up, asshole.”
Grabbing his beer, James stood. “This is just like old times, so I think I’ll let you two catch up without me.” He slapped a ten-dollar bill on the table, winking at Will.
She watched him walk toward Megan and her friends. “James is still as big a dick as ever, I see.”
Silence seemed the best response.
She sat in the chair that James had abandoned. “Where the hell have you been for four years, Will?”
Will sighed. This was the last thing he needed at the moment. “I’ve been fighting for the land of the free and the brave, while trying to keep my ass from getting blown off. Where the hell do you think I’ve been, Trish?”
She closed her eyes. “God, I’m sorry. James brings out the worst in me.”
“Yeah, he has a way of doing that.”
“You could have written.”
“I didn’t see the point.” He took a long drink of his beer. “I don’t want to fight with you, Trisha, so if you have something you need to get off your chest, go ahead and do it.”
“I don’t want to fight, either.” She took a deep breath, then a smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “Good to see you, Will.”
Slumping back in his chair, he let his guard down a notch. “How’ve you been? You look good.” Her dark blonde hair was shorter than it was four years ago and she had an air of self-confidence that she’d lacked before. There was no denying she was a beautiful woman and a good one, too. But she hadn’t been the problem. Will had.
Her shoulders relaxed and she looked him over and smiled. “Thanks, you do too.”
“I heard you’d moved to Kansas City.”
“I did, then I moved back. Got a job teaching at an elementary school on the other side of town.”
“No kidding. So you’re Ms. Hudson, huh? Or is it Mrs. now?”
She laughed. “Still Ms. You’re a hard man to replace, Will Davenport.”
Will felt a stir of nostalgia and longing but refused to act on it. He’d hurt her enough. James’s announcement and his sister’s wedding were resurfacing his insecurities.
“So you out of the Marines or are you home on leave?”
“Still in. I’m here for my sister’s wedding.”
“Really? I’d heard Megan was getting married. What about you, Will? Any lucky woman in your life?”
He shook his head and studied the bottle in his hand. “Nope.”
She nudged his arm and laughed. “Maybe I’m a hard woman to replace.”
He looked up with a half-hearted smile. He wished that were true. He’d cared for Trisha but never loved her, no matter how much he wished he had. Sometimes he worried that he’d end up like his parents, settling for a marriage with little love and affection. God knew he’d tried with Trish and several women before her.
A sad look filled her eyes. “That’s okay. You don’t have to answer that.” She shrugged playfully. “Besides, who can compete with James?”
He smirked. “No kidding.”
“I heard you were in a unit together in Iraq. How’d you manage that?”
“Connections.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Your dad.”
There was no reason to deny it.
“How long are you home?”
“Only for the wedding. We leave on Monday.”
“That soon?”
He shrugged and took another drink. He was beginning to regret coming home. So far this entire trip sucked.
“Look…” Her hands rested on the table and she clasped them together. “I know we didn’t end well, which was mostly my fault. Sure, you couldn’t commit, but you never lied to me.” She shook her head. “Boy, do I appreciate that now after all the losers I’ve dated since. You always said you didn’t love me and I… I figured I could make you change your mind.”
“Trish…” Even though he’d told her to have her say, he really couldn’t handle listening to her litany of how he’d failed her. He’d beaten himself up over it, enough to last a lifetime and a half.
“No, it’s okay, Will.” The earnestness in her eyes told him that she spoke the truth. “I wanted something you weren’t capable of giving. Plus, I hated the long stretches of waiting for you to come home.”
He’d watched his mom sit at home, being a single mother for months at a time. He wasn’t sure he wanted to put someone through that. Especially if he loved her. But leaving the Marines wasn’t an option he considered until James’s bombshell. It was the job he’d spent his entire life training for. If he wasn’t a Marine, what would he do? But now that the door had cracked open, the option intrigued him.
Covering her hand with his, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”
She smiled. “No regrets.”
No regrets. It was a great philosophy, but a hard goal to live up to.
“So, have you got a date to the wedding?”
His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Are you offering or you setting me up?”
“Offering… as friends, of course.”
He hesitated. He was sorting through more emotional baggage than he expected this weekend.
She lifted her hands in surrender. “No drama. I promise.”
On a scale of one to ten of bad ideas, this was probably a nine, but he couldn’t stop himself. “How about you come to the reception? I’ll be tied up during the wedding since I’m a groomsman.”
She laughed. “Probably a good idea. I tend to cry at weddings and I promised drama-free. Where’s the reception?”
“The Holiday Inn. Eight o’clock.”
Her eyes searched his face. “I’ve missed you. Will.”
Had he missed her or the idea of having someone? It was hard to say. “When we were good together, we were great.”
Her face softened. “Yeah, we were, weren’t we?” She looked over her shoulder at her friends, whose undivided attention was on Will. Shaking her head, she laughed. “I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“Okay.”
She walked back to her table, looking over her shoulder at him.
Maybe his expectations were unrealistic. Maybe love came with time and respect. Was it fair to Trisha to test that idea out with her?
“Come dance with me.” Megan stood next to him, her hand extended.
“Hell, no. You know I
don’t dance.”
“And we know that’s not true. In fact, I have actual video proving you do.”
His mouth dropped open before he closed it and narrowed his eyes. “You’re lying. If you had blackmail video, you would have used it long ago.”
She grabbed his hand and pulled. “Nope, turns out I have more patience than you thought I did. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion.”
“A special occasion? You mean like dancing in The Red Horse bar? On the night before your wedding? You think you’d save it for your wedding reception.”
“Oh, no, mister.” She tugged harder and he let her pull him to his feet. “That one’s a gimme. You owe me that dance.”
He’d give her anything she asked of him and she knew it. “How do you figure? Have you got more incriminating evidence for that particular piece of extortion?”
“Yeah, pictures of the time you dressed up like a girl. Come on.”
He followed her out to the dance floor. “I never dressed as a girl.”
“I have photos that prove otherwise. Shut up and dance, Wilhelm.”
He laughed. “You haven’t called me that in years. You must be desperate.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures…”
The pop song stopped and Will grinned. “Looks like I got a reprieve.”
Her grip tightened. “You stay here and wait.”
A ballad filled the room. At least he didn’t have to make a fool of himself. “It’s my lucky day.”
Putting her hands on his shoulders, Megan laid her head against his chest. “Remember when Mom decided we needed to learn ballroom dancing?”
He hadn’t thought about that in years. “Yeah, and you got paired with that Russell kid and pitched a fit.”
She lifted her chin, pursing her lips. “He picked his nose! I wasn’t holding his hand!”
“Yeah, so they put you with me and I had to give up Shelia Murphy as my partner.”
“Waa. Waa. Life’s a bitch.”
“Dancing with your sixth-grade sister is the kiss of death to your social status when you’re an eighth-grade boy.”
“You seemed to recover with the ladies just fine.” She winked.
“You have me mistaken with James.”
“Oh yeah, it was weird that James wasn’t there. That was one of the few times I don’t remember him being with us.”
His entire life he’d been with his sister or James. Now he was losing them both. “We were like the Three Musketeers.”
Dreaminess softened her face. “We had some good times.”
“Yeah. We did.”
“I miss you, Will.”
A lump closed off his throat. “I miss you too, Meg. More than you know.”
A desperate look filled her eyes. “Don’t reenlist when your time’s up.”
His feet froze. Had James told her about his plans? “Megan, don’t…”
“I need you. Mom needs you. Don’t reenlist, and come home.”
He shook his head to clear his confusion. His two best friends bombarding him on the same night? But even if he did come home, his relationship with Megan wouldn’t be the same. “You’re marrying Dan tomorrow. You don’t need me anymore.”
“I’ll always need you, Will. Nothing can come between us.”
A chill ran up his spine. Something told him that wasn’t true. He shook it off and started dancing again. “Megan, don’t be silly. My entire life’s purpose was to be a Marine. You know that.”
“Will, you’ve proved yourself to Dad and if he doesn’t see it, he’s a fool. We both know that’s what this is.”
He pulled out of her grasp. “Is that what you think my life is? An attempt to get Dad’s approval?”
“Isn’t it?”
His stomach cramped. “I have to go.”
Fear widened her eyes. “Will, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“No, Megan. It’s exactly what you meant.” He turned to leave. The noise was getting to him and he’d had too many things thrown at him tonight. He needed some quiet to sort out the mess in his head.
“Will, wait!” She grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. “Please.”
He hesitated, rubbing his free hand over his face.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It just scares me when you’re over there. And I know you. You’re putting yourself in danger to protect everyone else before you protect yourself. Your new medal proves it.” Tears fell down her cheeks. “I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you and I have this fear…” She stopped and took his hand in hers, clutching tightly. “If you stay, something bad is going to happen to you, Will. Please.”
His breath stuck in his chest. His nightmares with fire had returned. Sometimes they were the dreams that had plagued his childhood, but now new ones were interspersed. Children screaming in the background. A boy shouting Mommy! But they were dreams. Nothing more, nothing less. He couldn’t base his life decisions on dreams and Megan’s fears. “I’m careful, Meg. I promise. I don’t take unnecessary chances with my men’s lives.”
She moved closer, her eyes wild and desperate. “Of course, you wouldn’t. But who’s watching your back?”
“James.” But not for long.
Leaning her back against the wall, she closed her eyes. “There was a time I hated him. You and I were so close when we were little. And Mom, of course. We were the original Three Musketeers. And then he bolted into your life, larger than life. Who could compete with that?”
“Your fears were groundless. We included you in everything.”
“Only because you insisted.”
“I’ve always had your back.”
“Then let me have yours. I know something’s going to happen. Please.”
He sighed. He couldn’t deny that she sometimes had premonitions. What if she was right? “I’ll think about it, okay? Quit worrying about me and go enjoy yourself. You only get married once.”
She scowled. “The law according to Dad.”
“It’s not such a bad rule to follow.” One more reason not to settle.
“Come home so it can be like it used to. You and me.”
He took her cheek into his hands, his thumb brushing her tears away. “It used to be you and me, Megs. You, me and James. But now you have Dan and you’ll have a new life without me. Even if I came home, it wouldn’t be the same.”
“I don’t want to start a new life without you part of it.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’ll always be here for you. You just don’t need me like you used to.” Wiping a fresh trail of tears, he tapped her chin. “Enough of this. You’re getting married tomorrow and it’s bad luck for the bride to cry over her brother the night before her wedding.”
“You totally made that up.”
“Nope. I’m sure I heard it somewhere. I’m your big brother and where I live doesn’t change that. If someone upsets you, I’ll come back and kick their ass.”
“Like Jimmy DeLuca back in second grade.”
“Exactly. You need me. I’m there.”
“Not if you’re dead.”
“I have no intention of meeting St. Peter at the Pearly Gates for a very long time. But I promise I’ll think about what you said.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m beat and jet lag is kicking my ass. I’m gonna go home and go to bed.”
“Okay.”
He spotted James dancing with one of Megan’s friends. “Tell James I left, okay? He’ll try to convince me to stay if I talk to him.”
“Sure.”
Will exited the bar, breathing in the cool October night air and waiting for his stress to slip away now that he was away from the chaos. Instead, a shiver gripped him, shaking him to his soul. While his body was used to the heat of Iraq and he was adjusting the cooler climate, he recognized the chill as something else. He’d experience this before in Iraq, only a couple of times and with much less intensity.
Something bad had just happened.
&nb
sp; Chapter Three
His dread lessened by the time he reached his mom’s house. He shrugged it off as jet lag, almost believing it as he walked in through the garage door. His mom sat at the kitchen table, staring at her the cup of tea in front of her. The sound of the door caught her attention and she jerked up.
“Will, what are you doing home?”
“I’m going to get a good night’s sleep, so I’ll be ready for the wedding tomorrow.”
She smiled. “You never were much of a partier.”
He sat down next to her and soaked in her presence. She’d always had a way of calming him. “Honestly, I’d rather hang out with you. I’ve missed you, Mom.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I’ve missed you too.”
“What are you going to do now that Megan’s finally leaving? You’re going to have an empty house.”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe she stayed as long as she did. Her friends asked her to move in with them a couple of years ago, but I suspect she stayed because she worried about me.”
“She loves you, Mom. We both do.”
“I couldn’t ask for two better children. I count my blessings every day. Now tell me why you’re so on edge.”
He looked down at her hand. “The usual transition. It’s just a little rougher this time.”
“No, it’s more than that. I can sense it.”
Shaking his head, he released a long sigh. “I don’t even know. Maybe it’s Meg getting married, or maybe it’s because I’ve been in Iraq too damn long. James told me he’s not reenlisting.”
“Oh.” She paused a moment. “And how do you feel about that?”
“I sure as hell don’t like it, but it’s his decision and his life.”
“And what about you?”
His face lifted and he searched her eyes. “I don’t know anymore. I feel like everything in my life is changing so quickly I can’t get my balance. If I could just find some middle ground...” He swallowed the burning in his throat. “For the first time in my life, I’m not one hundred percent sure about what I want and it scares me. I feel like something is missing in my life, you know? I’ve worked all of my life to get to this point, so why would I feel this way? ”
“What’s missing?”
“I don’t know.” He paused. “I saw Trisha tonight.”
Middle Ground Page 2