River looked sheepishly over at Colleen. “Sorry. I’ll stop taking my anger out on the books. And thanks for listening.”
“Anytime,” Colleen said, and then disappeared back to the front of the library.
River stood there for a long time, looking at the pile of self help books on the floor next to her. Maybe she should check out a few of the less cheesy looking volumes and see if they contained any information that could actually help her get her life together. She scanned the titles half-heartedly, and eventually gave up. Nothing jumped out at her as particularly interesting.
She finished re-shelving the books a few minutes before the library opened, and she checked her cell phone again. The display said 9:57 a.m. It had been nearly twelve hours since her failed date with Luke at the pub, and she still hadn’t heard a peep from him. Angrily, River walked out to her Jeep and locked her cell in her glove box. Let him try to call all he wants, she thought. I can be busy with work, too.
River marched back into the library and did her best to focus on her job. She manned the front counter for a few hours, then taught an adult literacy class in the afternoon. She stepped in to help with the afternoon storytime reading for kindergarteners, since the girl who normally took care of that activity was out sick. Busy, and surrounded by books and book lovers, River managed to keep herself from thinking about Luke every few seconds. But when her shift ended and she walked back out to her vehicle, she felt nervous butterflies in her stomach. She opened the glove box, hoping there would be a missed call from him, or a slew of texts explaining how sorry he was for the major emergency that had taken much longer than he thought to fix.
But her face fell when she realized that the only missed call she had was from her alma mater in southern California. Probably seeking donations. River quietly set her phone down in the middle console of the Jeep and put her hands on the steering wheel. She looked straight ahead at the large brick building that housed Red Valley’s main library branch, but she didn’t really pay attention to what she was seeing. Anger bubbled up from deep within her, and she let out a string of curses as she turned the engine on and shifted the Jeep into drive.
She should never have let down her guard. She should have known better than to think she could spend one evening with a guy like Luke and leave it at that. Despite knowing that they were all wrong for each other, she had been drawn in by his contagious smile and soulful brown eyes. She had acted like a swooning, love struck teenager, and now she was mourning a relationship that had never even started. As much as she tried to tell herself she didn’t care and he didn’t matter to her at all, she knew that wasn’t true.
One thing River knew with certainty, though—she wouldn’t buy whatever excuse Luke came up with for breaking their date and then ignoring her calls and texts. Her brief lapse of judgment had ended, and she was not going to give Luke a second chance at a date. As she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex and put her Jeep in park, she pulled out her phone. She would send him a text right now letting him know how she felt. She didn’t want to give herself another chance to fall prey to his charms.
Luke, since you aren’t interested in answering my calls or texts, or in explaining what kind of ‘emergency’ you had to deal with last night, I’m not interested in giving you a raincheck for our date. Go find someone else to play your games with.
River felt a pang of regret as soon as she hit send on the text. Maybe she should have listened to Colleen and given Luke a chance to explain. But it was too late now, and River set her jaw in a stubborn line as she climbed out of her Jeep and headed up to her third floor apartment. Whatever Luke’s reason for missing their date, it didn’t matter anymore. She had better things to do than worry about a man who was all wrong for her.
Chapter Four
Just over seventy-two hours after leaving the pub to respond to his alpha’s emergency call, Luke finally arrived back at Base with the rest of his crew. The Burning Claws Smokejumpers lived in a large airplane hangar with a large bunkhouse and shower house attached. The bunkhouse had been built to house a crew of twenty-five people, so the six member smokejumper crew had more than enough space. Even with Hunter’s lifemate, Riley, living on base now, everyone had room to stretch out and be comfortable.
And after picking up his cell phone from his bunk, Luke definitely wanted some space.
The messages had started off casual enough. River hoped everything was okay, and asked him to call her when he got a chance. There was a gap overnight where she didn’t call or text, but early the next morning she had texted again, worried that she still hadn’t heard from him. There were two more texts that each had a slightly more aggressive tone, and then a long stretch of silence before a final, angry text. As Luke had feared, River didn’t understand why he had suddenly disappeared with no response.
Luke stepped into one of the shower stalls to wash off the sweat and grime of three days in a smoky forest. As he rubbed a bar of soap across his dirty skin, he tried to figure out the best way to respond to River. The cynical part of him said to just let the whole thing go and forget about River. He’d had enough trouble with women to last him a lifetime, and the way things had played out with River the last few days, it looked like trying to date her was just asking for more trouble.
But something deep within Luke stirred every time he thought of River. He knew she was different. He knew his bear wanted her. He had to find a way to convince her to listen to his apology. Luke turned his back to the showerhead, and let the warm stream of water run down his body. He tried to come up with a romantic way to show her that he did care about her and that the last thing he had wanted to do was disappear right before their date. But romantic creativity wasn’t exactly Luke’s strong suit. He had brought a dozen red roses to the bar the other night, which he knew had screamed “cliché,” but it had been the only thing he could think of to do. Now, he worried that he would only mess up any attempt at romance, and make things worse than they already were.
Luke washed away the final traces of soap residue, and decided that the best option available to him would be to simply call River and explain things. Surely, if he just explained to her what had happened, she would understand. He should have tried to explain better from the beginning, but he couldn’t change that now. He would try to reschedule their date and get things back on the right foot.
Luke stepped out of the shower and toweled off, wincing a bit as his sore muscles protested against the vigorous movement. After several slow weeks with no fires, the last three days of chopping down trees and hauling heavy gear had really taken it out of him. He gingerly pulled a gray t-shirt over his head, and then threw on some loose black sweatpants. He went back to his bunk to grab his cell phone, not bothering to put on any shoes before he went outside and sat on top of the picnic table behind the hangar, using the table’s benches as a footrest.
He glanced at the time on his phone, and debated whether to make the call now. It was already 9:45 p.m., which, in polite society, was too late to call. But Luke didn’t want to wait another twelve hours to call River. He knew she would still be awake, and he had to talk to her now. He had to hear her voice and let her know that his leaving the bar early a few days ago had nothing to do with her or how he felt about her.
Luke took a deep breath and dialed back the number River had been using to call and text him. It rang several times, and just when Luke thought the call was going to go to voicemail, River picked up.
“Hello?” she said. Her voice made it clear that she did not feel like talking to him.
“River, hey, it’s Luke.”
“I know,” River said flatly.
Luke took a deep breath. Just explain things calmly, he told himself. “Look, I feel awful about missing out on our date. I know you’re angry, and you have a right to be. I should have explained better what happened, but I was in a rush and sort of panicked.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s obvious I made a mistake
in agreeing to go get a drink with you in the first place. I’m sure you have your reasons for disappearing, and then not returning my phone calls right away. But I don’t really care what they are. This situation made me realize that I have very specific things I want in a relationship, and I shouldn’t settle for a man who doesn’t meet those things. And I definitely shouldn’t settle for a one night stand.”
“Is that what you think this was about? A one night stand?” Luke asked, his voice incredulous. He hadn’t intended to give River that impression at all. His romance skills must be even worse than he thought.
“Oh come on,” River said. “Don’t act like you weren’t after getting me in bed.”
“I’m not gonna lie, River. I think you’re beautiful, and I’m very attracted to you. But I want a chance to get to know you as a person. All of you. It’s been a long time since I’ve opened my heart up to someone, but you seemed like you were worth taking a chance on.”
“I’m sorry,” River said. “I just don’t think we have that much in common, and being out of contact with you for three days with no idea what was going on made me realize that I need to be more careful about agreeing to dates. I’m not the kind of person who appreciates someone disappearing for three days with no contact. I mean, how big of an emergency could it have been that you didn’t have time to at least drop me a text?”
“It was a pretty big emergency. I’m a firefighter. The kind of firefighter who parachutes into wildfires that are too remote to reach by car or foot. We don’t take our phones with us on jumps, since we’re already loaded down with gear, and there usually isn’t much of a cell signal out in the wilderness, anyway.”
River was silent for several long moments, and Luke held his breath, hoping that she was reconsidering her decision to not give him another chance. But, when she finally spoke, her voice still sounded disapproving. “I’m sorry, Luke. I guess I can see that a wildfire is a big, days-long emergency. But the time with no contact still made me realize that we’re not right for each other.”
Luke’s heart dropped. “How can you say that? You barely know anything about me. You haven’t even given me a chance.”
“I’m sorry,” River said. “You just don’t seem like my type. No hard feelings, okay?”
Then the line went dead. Luke threw his phone across the grass, not even caring whether the screen cracked. That’s what he got for opening his heart up again. He should have never let himself care about someone, especially someone as beautiful and smart as River. He let out a growl as he felt his bear stirring within him. His bear wanted River, but the odds of that happening looked pretty low at the moment. Luke felt his eyes welling up with emotion. He had started to let himself care deeply for River, and now he was paying for his mistake.
“Luke?” a soft voice called from behind him. He turned around and saw Riley, Hunter’s lifemate, walking toward him cautiously.
“Hey, Riley,” Luke said, trying to casually blink away the tears that had been forming in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Riley asked.
“Nothing,” Luke said, avoiding Riley’s gaze. He saw Riley out of the corner of his eyes, crossing her arms.
“Really? Because you were almost yelling into your phone, and then you threw it across the lawn. That didn’t look like ‘nothing’. Is this about River?”
“Why would it be about River?”
“Hunter told me you were worried she wasn’t going to understand that you had to suddenly leave for a wildfire emergency.”
“Well, my worries weren’t for nothing. She’s refusing to go out with me again, and said the whole thing made her realize how we’re not right for each other. Which seems ridiculous to me, because she doesn’t even know me that well. I did tell her when I first met her that I’m not much into reading, and she seems to have really latched onto that statement. Apparently, since I’m not a total book lover like her, we have nothing in common.”
Riley laughed, and hopped up onto the picnic table to sit next to Luke. “I’ve been getting to know River pretty well over the last few weeks. She comes into the pie shop a lot to get stuff for her book clubs. She’s a really sweet person, but she has a lot of rules when it comes to men. I get the feeling that she was hurt before and is overly cautious now.”
“Well, I’m glad you find it amusing,” Luke said bitterly.
“I’m not trying to make light of the situation,” Riley said. “I only told you that to say that I wouldn’t give up hope on River yet. She thinks most men are assholes. I won’t comment on whether I agree with her or not, but if you really want her to take a gamble on you, then you’ll have to find a way to convince her that you’re not one of the bad apples.”
“How am I supposed to do that when she doesn’t even want to talk to me?” Luke asked.
Riley gave Luke’s shoulder a squeeze. “If you want a chance with her badly enough, you’ll find a way. And, for the record, I think you two would be great together, if you could just get past the fear you both have of being hurt.”
“How do you know I’m afraid of being hurt?” Luke said.
“Hunter told me about your ex, Sara. All I have to say about that is that it would be a shame if you let Sara continue to hold you back from love and happiness, years after she left your life. Don’t lose out on what’s right in front of you because you’re still so upset about what you left behind.”
Riley gave Luke’s shoulder one more friendly squeeze, and then hopped off the picnic table and headed back to the hangar. Luke stared up at the hazy night sky, and tried to figure out what to do.
He had let fear of being hurt keep him unhappy for too long. He needed to figure out a way to reach past the walls around River’s heart. But how? What would prove to her that he was worth the risk?
River’s observation that they didn’t know much about each other was correct. But Luke at least knew that she loved reading. Maybe if he found a way to show her that he didn’t hate books, River would see that he was serious about her and give him second shot.
He had to at least try.
Chapter Five
October gave way to November, and River still hadn’t heard anything from Luke. She didn’t know why she was so disappointed, when she had made it so clear to him that she wasn’t interested. But some small part of her had hoped that he wouldn’t give up so easily. That he would have fought to prove to her that he meant it when he said he wanted more than just a one night stand.
But as the hours and then days ticked by, River finally accepted that Luke wasn’t going to come riding in on a white horse, declaring his love for her and begging her to see that his heart was just as gorgeous as his face. River fell back into her normal routine, working her shifts at the library and managing her book clubs. The afternoon before her romance book club was set to meet again, she went to pick up her usual assortment of pies from The Sweet Crust.
She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed when she walked into the pie shop and the only person there was Riley. River had no idea what she would say to Luke if she saw him, but she couldn’t manage to completely push his face from her mind.
“Hey, River,” Riley greeted her. “Give me just a second, and I’ll go grab your pies for you. Feel free to grab some coffee while you wait. You know where the cups are.”
River usually didn’t take Riley up on her offer of coffee, but there was a chill in the air today. A warm beverage might be a nice way to take the edge off. Besides, she wouldn’t mind an excuse to hang around and chat with Riley for a minute. River knew that Riley and Luke were friends, and she wondered if he had mentioned anything about her. As River filled a paper cup with coffee from the large thermos at the coffee bar, she tried to come up with a casual way to ask Riley about Luke.
“Here’s the first three,” Riley said, setting down three boxes of pies on the counter. “I’ll be right back with the rest.”
River stirred creamer into her coffee and glanced sadly at the three boxes. The fac
t that Luke wasn’t there to help her carry them out struck an unexpected chord of sadness with her. She took a deep breath and blew on her coffee to cool it down, telling herself to get a grip.
“What’s wrong?” Riley asked, as she returned with the last two boxes.
“Nothing,” River said, staring down at her coffee, pretending to be very interested in blowing cool air onto the hot liquid.
Riley narrowed her eyes. “Your expression looks pretty unhappy. Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”
River shrugged. “I’m okay. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Sit down,” Riley said, gesturing to one of the small tables near the coffee bar. “Spill.”
“I don’t want to keep you from your work,” River protested.
“What work? It’s slow as molasses in here today. Sit down and tell me what’s bothering you.”
River reluctantly sat down, trying to decide how much to tell Riley.
“So, you’re friends with that guy Luke that comes in here sometimes, right?”
Riley chuckled. “Yes, I’m very good friends with him, actually. His best friend Hunter is essentially my fiancé.”
“Oh, wow. I had no idea.”
“Yeah, Luke’s always in here trying to get the ‘best friend’ discount on pie,” Riley said with a grin.
“Maybe I shouldn’t say anything, then, if you’re good friends with Luke.”
“I’m good friends with you, too,” Riley said gently. “You’re in here all the time, and we’ve had a lot of fun conversations. If you want to talk about Luke, I’m happy to keep whatever you want to say between you and me. Pinky promise!”
Riley held out her pinky, and River half heartedly linked her own pinky with Riley’s.
“It’s kind of complicated,” River said, unsure of where to start.
A Burn To Bear (Fire Bear Shifters Book 3) Page 3