by Louisa Bacio
“I’d already thought about that,” Clarissa said.
“So they see you and me together, and Lucy is a really close friend.”
“Really close,” Lucy echoed.
“I gotta ask,” Clarissa said, looking back and forth between them. “Do you like being with each other more than you like being with me?”
“It’s not like that,” Lucy said.
“No way,” Mario added. He didn’t want to insult Lucy. She was one of his potential mates. She smiled weakly at him. There was a fine line between describing how important Clarissa was within his life, and not alienating Lucy.
“Listen, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship with a man,” Lucy said. “And I’m not talking about the work that I do at SFSU. I like men, but over the past ten years I’ve chosen to be with women, until now.
“Look at the situation. You love Mario. I love you. He loves you. There has to be some common ground there that I love too.”
The waiter dropped off the food, and the plates went untouched as they continued to talk. That didn’t stop them from drinking, though.
“I still don’t understand. How would it work?”
“It’s not like we have the relationship mapped out,” Mario said. “It’s more that both Lucy and I are willing…”
“To what? Share me?”
“In a sense,” he said, “but it’s also sharing each other. If both of us were only in love with you, and couldn’t stand each other, it probably wouldn’t work. I can’t speak to every situation, of course.”
The more Clarissa talked, the redder her face became. How come it seemed like she didn’t like the idea of their combined relationships? It was as though they were intruding upon something she considered hers. Was she jealous? Of them?
“I like Mario,” Lucy said. “He brings out a different aspect of my personality.”
Hearing her words made his heart swell. He didn’t want to be a third wheel, but a very important part of the working mechanism. Otherwise, he’d have to face giving up and leaving on his own.
Clarissa looked from one of them to the other. Her eyes grew wider, knowledge dawning on her face.
“You two have been together? Had sex?” Her voice pitched, cracking. “Without me.”
Lucy took Mario’s hand, and, fingers entwined, laid them on the table. “You’re the one who left us. What did you expect?”
Chapter Seventeen
Lucy didn’t want to shock Clarissa, but she was acting like such a spoiled brat—one that got her way all the time. It was fine to offer to let others play with her toys, but damn if anyone ever picked one up and gave it some attention. Maybe this admission would knock some sense into her.
Mouth agape, Clarissa glared at them, nostrils flaring. She placed both hands on the table as if to push back. Push had come to shove and she was going to run again. Before she was able, Lucy gripped her wrist and drew it toward her.
The other woman struggled, knocking over her glass of wine with a loud clatter. Mario righted the glass before it could spill. Fast reflexes.
“You don’t get to run away this time,” Lucy said. She brought the other woman’s hand onto Mario’s and hers. “Feel this, think about this. Everything you want. You don’t have to choose. You can have us both.”
“You don’t need me.”
“I’ve known you for a long time,” Mario said, “and I’ve never thought of you as daft until now. Hell, I can’t live without you. I’ve chased you clear across the United States, signed up for this blasted,” he dropped his voice, “sex school and opened my heart to someone else. All for you. You don’t get to sit there and tell me that I don’t need you. Maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe we’re fooling ourselves. You don’t want us.”
Clarissa hiccupped, swallowing down a sob. Her eyes welled with tears. Everything inside her wanted to coddle Clarissa, but Lucy held strong.
“I do. I do want you. Both of you. It’s just…”
“Just what?” Mario asked. “What could possibly be holding you back?”
“I’m afraid.”
“Lord help us all,” Lucy said. “Do you not think I’m afraid? I don’t know about Mario, but my reputation means everything. If I can’t even control what’s happening in my own love life, how can I run the school?”
All around them, chatter continued. Such uncomplicated happiness. Lucy knew that everything wasn’t what it seemed. She grabbed a piece of bread, bit through the tangy tomatoes, appreciating the kick of garlic. No matter what else, she felt alive. Emotions swirled within her, and her heart tumbled into chaos. It was like being swept out by a wave, yanked under and toppling without any knowledge of which way led up.
She looked across at the setting sun and the warm rays of dusk casting a halo of light around Clarissa. Golden. At that moment, time stood still, and everything was as it should be.
It wasn’t enough. She needed assurance. Part of Lucy wanted to skip back to perfect harmony and bliss: the honeymoon stage with Clarissa. Before she knew anything about Mario and their missed wedding date. How could she have been so naïve as to not ask that many questions?
The truth was, she didn’t want to know. Now, she wanted answers.
“Be honest. What do you want? What does your heart say?” Lucy pressed. “Because we’re going to great lengths here to accommodate you, and it might not even make a difference. I don’t know about how Mario feels, but right now—for me—it’s all or nothing.”
“What do you mean? Either I accept this offer of a threesome or I get nothing? That doesn’t sound like much of a choice to me.”
“Just wait a minute.” Mario struck his hand against the table, vibrating the silverware. “That doesn’t seem fair. If Clarissa wants to be with you, then I’m willing to bow out. I thought we’d gotten past the ultimatum.”
Lucy turned her attention to the man next to her. “How about the opposite? She chooses you and ditches me? Would you be willing to break my heart in order to get what you want?”
He swallowed. She watched his Adam’s apple rise and fall as he worked through his emotions. “When I first got here, yeah. That’s all I wanted. I didn’t give a shit about your feelings, sorry. All I wanted was Clarissa. Now, it wouldn’t be that easy.”
It was easy to be self-sacrificing, but when it comes to another person’s feelings, it’s difficult to place that wager. That was why Lucy had to ask the next question.
“And if she decides she doesn’t want to be with either one of us, what then? Are you and I going to stay together?”
He dropped his gaze to the table. It was never a good sign when someone couldn’t look you in the eyes. “I don’t know. It might be hard. Too much pain having some of what I want, but not everything. Losing Clarissa is going to cause a huge vacuum in my life.”
With that settled, they looked back to Clarissa.
“Fuck. So it’s all on me again? I have the deciding vote in this standoff?”
“Imagine playing roulette in Atlantic City,” Mario said, leaning forward. “It’s all or nothing. Place your bets.” As if for emphasis, he picked up his wine and downed it. “What do you say?”
Lucy watched the wave of emotions on Clarissa’s face. No, they weren’t going to give her any more time to make up her mind. Sure, they’d be patient with her, but only to a certain extent. She needed to establish some good faith in their relationship before all of them felt fully comfortable.
The moment Clarissa smiled wide, Lucy’s heart lifted. Everything was going to be all right.
“Bring it on,” Clarissa said.
Chapter Eighteen
“You might think we’ve had this all planned,” Mario said, “and in some ways we did. Would you like to go to a hotel with us? A night away, in neutral territory?”
The idea sent chills through Clarissa’s body, and heat pooled between her legs. “I’d love to. What did you have in mind, and when?”
“Oh,” Mario teased, before glancing at Lu
cy. “Just up the street a few blocks, and right this minute.”
On the way out, Clarissa waved good-bye to Johnny and Sam. The two had stayed to make sure she was fine. By the looks of their table, they’d enjoyed more of a meal. The air turned even more brisk when they exited the shopping area.
On Powell Street, Mario stopped them in front of the Sir Frances Drake. A tinge of excitement grew inside Clarissa. She’d heard about the hotel forever, and she used to daydream about one day staying there with Mario.
He’d remembered.
“After you two lovely ladies.” Mario gestured with his arm toward the revolving doors. Clarissa stepped in, halfway holding her breath for fear of the contraption, and Lucy entered alongside her. At the last moment, Mario ducked in too.
There were too many people in such a confined space. For someone who grew up in New York, she should be used to these blasted contraptions. But no, she’d chose to go through the double doors if given a choice.
“It’s all right,” Mario said, placing his hand on her lower back and offering comfort. “And here we are, step out.”
She exhaled on the exit.
“What was that all about?” Ms. Lucy asked.
“When I was a teen, my cousin was fooling around in one of those. He pushed too fast, and I wasn’t paying attention. Caught my heels under the glass.”
“Ouch,” Lucy said.
“He was a real bastard,” Mario said. “I beat him up for it.”
“They’ve gotten better, though, right?” Lucy asked. “They seem to be regulated now and sometimes automated.”
“Sure, be reasonable. Unfortunately, I’m not thinking about it too much. Just feeling,” Clarissa admitted. “Try telling that to my heart.”
Once safely inside, Mario pulled a keycard out of his pocked. “I checked in earlier,” he explained. “Didn’t want any holdups to getting to the main show.”
After catching her breath, Clarissa stared in wonder at the magnificence of the hotel. She spun, taking in the sparkling chandeliers, ornate furnishings with rich red accents and Renaissance-inspired decadence. She’d read all about it. Built in 1928, The Drake had housed dignitaries throughout its history.
The urge to jump up and down and squee with glee washed through her, and she suppressed it. Instead, she grabbed Mario’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Can you believe we’re finally here?”
Growing up, it was one of those pipe dreams. Escaping to San Francisco, the freedom of California and this hotel. It was the main reason she’d chosen the area to escape to when she left New York. This place, though, connected with Mario too much, so up until now she hadn’t visited. They hadn’t planned to honeymoon here, but someday, she knew they would visit. Together.
“Hey, are you ready to go up?” he asked, taking her out of her memories.
Unable to talk from the emotion stuck in her throat, Clarissa nodded.
Accompanied by only mood music, they rode the elevator up in their own silence, each of them probably trapped in their respective thoughts.
As they entered the room, Clarissa was struck by the great expanse of the suite, and the lights outside the window. She walked right through it and overlooked Union Square. “It’s magnificent. It almost feels like we’re back home. I’d love to come see it during the holidays.”
“Done,” Mario said. “That would be a great tradition.”
A glow emanated from the bedroom area. Colors reflected on the ceiling.
“What’s that?” she asked, walking toward the lights without waiting for a reply.
Green. Pink. Purple. Blue.
Small, lighted squares sat on the dresser, shifting colors and casting colorful shadows on the walls.
“What did you do?” Clarissa exclaimed. She covered her mouth with her hand and stared in amazement.
Once again, he’d remembered. Her heart filled, bursting with love for this amazing man.
It was one thing to say an emotion and completely different to show it, like this gesture.
“Do you remember that night?” Mario asked, drawing closer. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned against him, resting her head back on his shoulder. They watched the shifting colors for a few beats, and it felt as if the blood in their bodies pumped in unison.
When he moved away, a chill from where he had been traveled up her back. Stepping to the side, he looked between Clarissa and Lucy before picking up one square and holding it in his hand.
“What is it for?” Lucy asked.
“Don’t you ever drink those frou-frou cocktails?” Clarissa asked. “These are fake ice cubes. Drop them in the glass and the entire concoction glows. It’s amazing.”
“I’m not much of a frou-frou woman,” Lucy said, “but they’re beautiful.”
“That’s because you don’t need any extra sparkle,” Clarissa said. “You glow.”
The feeling in the air changed, magnetized, and the hair on Clarissa’s arms stood up. She turned toward Lucy, stroking her fingers down the other woman’s face, from the top of her cheek down toward her chin. She brushed them over her lips. Lucy shut her eyes and took Clarissa’s fingers into her mouth.
It was such a small gesture, but the feeling traveled from that small connection point straight to her core. Clarissa’s stomach tightened with excitement. These two may question her actions, but if they saw inside her heart, they’d have no doubts.
When Lucy reopened her eyes, Clarissa removed her finger and laid it against her own lips. The transference of a kiss, and the promise of more to come.
“Tell me about that night,” Lucy said. “You two have this inside joke. Let me be part of it.”
The feeling caught in Clarissa’s throat. She glanced at Mario, hoping he’d be the one to share. Thankfully, he understood.
“Let’s sit down on the bed,” he said, replacing the faux cube on the dresser. “Some would expect, growing up as closely as Clarissa and I did, we’d fight being together. People either end up too good of friends or liking someone else. For us, it always made sense. It felt right.”
He glanced at Clarissa for confirmation. When she nodded in encouragement, he continued. “When Clarissa turned 21, I took her out to celebrate. It was just a small restaurant in the local neighborhood, but they had these fancy drinks.” He gestured toward the ice cubes. “We each had a few, and that night I proposed, making our relationship and upcoming marriage official.”
She was a blubbering mess. Tears glistened in her eyes again, and Clarissa wiped them away. “It wasn’t a big to-do, just comfortable, but that’s kind of like our courtship. We didn’t take each other for granted, but we also didn’t need a great big show to prove we loved one another,” she said. “Where did you get so many of them? Did you go on a binger?”
Mario laughed. “Amazing what you can buy in bulk via Amazon these days.”
“Definitely sounds like a nice touch,” Lucy said, scooting backward. “So how about we make some memories of our own?”
She reclined on the king-sized bed, arms bent and tucked behind her head. The beauty of Lucy against the stunning white comforter and red, textured pillows made Clarissa suck in a breath.
Oh, Clarissa could think of some nasty things to do with those cubes. Sometimes she became shocked by her thoughts.
Warmth infused Clarissa from behind, and she startled. Mario moved her hair aside, laying kisses upon her neck. Up until now, all of their physical interactions had been orchestrated on campus. They hadn’t had any free time alone. She sank into his body, getting lost in the feel. Her eyes dropped shut, and her senses went on high alert. Every stroke, every touch increased the sexual tension. Between her legs, she grew wet, anticipating his next movement.
“Let us show you how good it could be,” he said. He reached under her shirt and unsnapped the front closure of her bra. His fingers found her nipples right away and began to flick and twist, and drive her absolutely batty.
A cool breeze flowed against the
skin of her stomach, and she opened her eyes, only to see Ms. Lucy kneeling on the bed before her. With a sparkle in her eyes, she lifted Clarissa’s shirt, pulling it over her head, and exposing her bare breasts. She leaned over, took a nipple in her mouth, and licked, sucked and drew out the tip in almost painful stimulation.
Mario ran his hands down Clarissa’s arms, sliding the straps of her bra off until they reached her wrists. He tightened the loops and drew her arms backward, jutting her chest out.
She gasped, bound with her own bra. The feeling of being restrained sent a thrill through her. She tilted her head back, against Mario’s strong chest, and Mario took her mouth, kissing her deeply, thrusting his tongue into her mouth, stealing her breath away. All the while, Lucy continued to play with her breasts.
Two sets of hands. Two mouths. Two loves. She could get used to this attention.
Lucy’s touch moved lower, unbuttoning Clarissa’s jeans and stripping them and her underwear off. When they reached her ankles, she kicked off her shoes and stepped out.
Naked now, she felt self-conscious with them fully dressed. Then Lucy stripped off her shirt and unhooked her bra. Her gorgeous breasts tasted freedom.
“Well, hello,” Mario said. “Look what I have here. Two gorgeous women. More than enough to keep my hands full.”
“I’m sure we’ll be able to help you with that,” Clarissa said. She made eye contact with Lucy before dropping her gaze lower. “Come here, lover. Let me feel you against me.”
Lucy came forward, moving against Clarissa. She rubbed her breasts against Clarissa’s. Taut nipples pebbled against a mirrored version. Woman on woman, skin on skin, the feeling was magical, illicit. Too good to be real. As their bodies moved against each other, Lucy slipped her hand between Clarissa’s thighs and diddled her sex.