The guy chuckled at my friend’s bravado. “A tough bitch, huh? I like that.” He swayed and took a step toward Char, momentarily forgetting about me.
She had her stiletto off, aimed at the guy’s face. “Take one step closer and I’ll remove one of your eyes with my five inch.”
The dumb ass must have left his brain at the door, because even with a deadly looking weapon in size seven, he only laughed more. A couple of people beside us glanced sideways and moved out the way, eying the drunk up and shaking their heads. I’d had enough.
Seizing the douche by the arm, I pulled him backward, intending to drag him from the floor, getting him away from Char. The last thing I wanted was a scene. And where were the bouncers when you needed them?
The guy was solid, but not from muscle. He was overweight. Even with his balance compromised with alcohol, I had a job to budge him.
Spinning around to me, he placed both his hands around me, gripping my ass and burying his head in my neck. God, I nearly fell backward with the weight of him. Finding Char, who was now moving in for the kill with both shoes off, she failed to reach me because Mr. Handsy was dragged away from us by one very fierce-looking Harley. I’d never been more relieved to see him. He had the guy by the throat with one hand, as if he weighed nothing more than a feather, and threw him down onto the ground. The crowd parted but I couldn’t see much more, so Char and I shoved forward to find out just what was about to transpire.
“Shit, girl. Are you all right? I could have taken him. These shoes here are my secret weapon.” She flashed both shoes before bending down to put them back on.
“I’m fine. I was actually looking forward to seeing where you were going to shove the heels of those things.” I attempted to make light of it, even though I felt shaken. What was it with men and me lately?
Viper appeared at Harley’s side, looking just as heated and furious.
The two of them together were lethal.
Forcing our way to the front of the growing circle of partygoers, we watched as Harley bent down and punched the guy in his face, blood fanning out from his nose. He then stood up, and with his large, black shoe, he pressed into the neck of the drunk guy, who looked ready to pass out as two bouncers appeared.
“This is better than I could have imagined. That man right there,” Char pointed at a savage Harley. “He just defended your honor. It’s obvious he’s not over you and cares deeply.” She looked smug with herself.
I didn’t know what to think. Harley had come to my rescue, not that he needed to because a few seconds later Char would have handled it. Still, my skin warmed over the thought that he’d taken charge. It did mean he still cared.
My gaze traveled up the entire length of Harley. Veins popped where they normally wouldn’t. A soldier in civilian clothing—that he was. Blind Freddy could tell he’d been trained in some type of self-defense. He had an air of authority about him now that far surpassed what I’d seen previously. It had only come about since his full memory returned.
His head pivoted, finding me. Or he was seeking me out. I didn’t know which. He drank me in, a plethora of emotions written over his face. I couldn’t move. Didn’t want to. I wanted to drown in him. The pull between us tightened as Viper pulled Harley back so the bouncers could pick up the drunk man and carry him out. The link I needed to sever, in order to save my heart held me in place. Harley took a step toward me, pain leaching from him and flowing into me, but Viper whispered something in his ear and tugged on his arm.
With great restraint, Harley turned and walked away. Again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Harley
If Viper hadn’t pulled me back and begged me to give Mac space, I would have lunged for her and held her tight against my chest. Seeing that dick paw her like an animal and not stop when she’d told him to, all but snapped my will.
Standing in the shadows now, watching her friend comfort her, my chest squeezed inward. She looked so fucking stunning tonight, even the woman who’d tried to steal my attention away failed in comparison.
Truth was, as much as I thought of myself as a monster and needed to protect Mac from what I knew I was capable of, I wanted her more than my next breath. Yet how could I ever be worthy of such a woman who saved lives and I stole them? If she knew just what I had done, she’d want no part of my life anyway, so I simply saved her the agony of finding out.
“You did the right thing.”
I knew what my friend meant but it didn’t make it any easier.
“Did I? She needed me, man, and I walked away. Those eyes. Those freaking eyes. They told me how much she wanted me to go to her. To comfort her. And I didn’t.”
Groaning, I gripped my head.
“For what it’s worth, she will be okay. She has her friend to take care of her. You’re trying to get your shit together, bro. For her. You need time.”
“Yeah, and what if time pushes her further away? What if she finds someone else?”
“I doubt that. I saw the way you two looked at each other. That doesn’t disappear in a hurry.”
“You think she’ll take me back when I clean myself up? Keep taking my meds?”
Nodding, he placed a hand on my tense shoulder. “Yeah. I do.”
I could only hope.
***
The days dragged. A week turned into two and then three. I made no move to contact Mac even though my heart screamed at me to. My meds were beginning to kick in, calming me somewhat. Nightmares still came, but were less prevalent. I actually felt like I could get a handle on life.
Today I was visiting my mother and seeing her for the first time in weeks. Viper had been in contact with her, keeping her updated. Naturally she’d wanted to see me, but I needed to have a clear head first. The meds had given the sensation of brain fog and made the anxiety worse for the first couple of weeks, so I hadn’t been good for anyone. After walking out on Mac weeks ago and heading to my apartment, I’d stayed holed up there for a couple of days but knew it was the worst thing for me, so I’d moved temporarily to Viper’s where I remained. He’d been nothing short of amazing, making me realize just how much I needed him. He always had my back and I’d always have his. Brothers for life.
My legs jittered up and down as Viper turned into the street of my childhood home. Emotions swamped me as we neared the two story, white cladded home with a porch out the front and garage to the rear. A stone pathway led a trail from the mailbox to the two wooden steps up onto the front verandah.
My dad. Memories flooded back of the two of us out in the garage working on his 1969 Chev Camaro with its bright blue paint and two racing stripes down the front. We spent hours in that damn garage, Dad under the hood and me standing beside him handing him the tools he asked for.
I knew behind the closed door the car would still be sitting pretty. Mom hadn’t had the heart to sell it or give it to anyone. It marked too many happy times for her to part with. Just like all Dad’s stuff. She’d kept it. Boxed it up but retained it, unable to let go. I understood. If it were Mac…shit.
Don’t go there. You saved her, remember?
“You ready?” Viper broke into my thoughts. I hadn’t noticed he’d turned off the engine and had his door open.
Not answering, I slowly climbed from his SUV.
The front door opened, stopping me dead.
In the doorway my mother appeared, her hair tied up in a bun, floral sun-dress on, and the beautiful smile on her face I remembered well.
Home. She represented all home was or could ever be. Seeing her face unloaded a ton of emotion through my already amped up psyche. She represented the best parts of me. The young boy who grew up idolizing his father, wanting to be just like him. The kid who had been so shy early on, he hid underneath is mother’s long skirts when being introduced to strangers. The youngster who’d spent countless hours sitting on the counter in the kitchen watching his mother bake cookies, licking the bowl clean of the raw dough, and then carrying a basket full next doo
r to old Mrs. James, who would slip me a quarter for being so kind. I could feel the onset of tears. Damn! There weren’t many people who could bring me to my knees, but Ma was one of them.
Letting my legs guide me, I powered toward her, picking up speed. I left Viper in my wake, the only thing I needed was the comfort of my mother’s arms and her gardenia-scented perfume.
Her arms lifted to welcome me and I couldn’t get there fast enough. A swell of tears formed, a whimper leaving my mouth as I reached her and wrapped her up in a fierce hug, never wanting to let go. She felt frailer than I remembered, but I guess she’d been going through a lot of stress in my absence.
“My boy. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Ma.” I choked it out, unable to say another word. I sniffed her unique smell, etching it into every crevice of me, regretful that I’d missed so much of her life since I’d joined the military.
Without Dad she lived on her own. It must get awfully lonely.
Pulling back, I drank her in. Her face had aged somewhat, lines deepening around her mouth and eyes. Her hair a little grayer.
“Look at you,” she cooed. “My handsome child.” Gripping my face in both hands, she planted a kiss on my cheek, her own tears falling like snowflakes.
Yeah, she still thought of me as her baby. I didn’t correct her.
“It’s so good to see you, Ma. We have a lot to catch up on.”
She didn’t know about my shooting. About Mac or the abduction. I’d decided to wait to tell her everything in person.
Mom beamed and looked over my shoulder. “Charlie!”
I chuckled at the moniker. She still called him by his birth name, which sounded weird, as everyone I knew called him Viper. Only a handful knew his real name, being a military ghost.
“Hi, Mrs. Harding. Great to see you again.” My friend suddenly became younger again also. I could feel his military persona dissolve in my mother’s presence. Here we were, just her two boys. Me, her son, and Viper, as close to an adopted child as he could be without actually being one.
“Come in, both of you. I’ve put the coffee pot on.”
Moving inside, I took in the interior, noting nothing had changed. I hadn’t really expected it to. The same beige sofa sat against the main wall that overlooked the large front window. A framed print of the Eiffel Tower sat above it. The smell of coffee wafted through from the kitchen as we followed my mom into the kitchen. It felt strange being home after everything that had transpired. The months since I’d visited seemed like years. Nostalgia filled me as I looked at the wooden dining table set off to the right of the spacious kitchen.
We’d spent many family dinners at that table, discussing our days and working out problems. As strict as my dad had been, he’d also been fair and honorable. A proud man. Proud of his family, he wasn’t afraid to praise us to others. His booming laugh drifted across my senses just out of reach and a wave of sadness eased through me.
A hand on my shoulder helped me focus again, my mother watching me with concerned eyes.
“Sit, son. Take a load off.”
Pouring three mugs of coffee, she handed us ours and sat opposite in her usual spot. Noting the dark circles under her weary eyes, I worried about her.
“You okay, Ma? You sleeping and eating well?”
I knew she wouldn’t tell me if there were something wrong. She had always carried burdens herself, choosing not to worry either Dad or myself.
“I’m fine. Not sleeping well lately, that’s all. Don’t worry.”
I did worry about her living on her own, but I took her word for it.
“So tell me what’s been happening with you, Dec?”
Yeah, my mother called me Dec too. It’s strange. With all my faculties back, I knew who I was and yet, I didn’t know if I wanted to be him anymore. I liked the man I had been as Harley. I associated the name with Mac. And yet, Dec had been me all along. The person experiencing life thus far.
I glanced over to Viper, who had stopped drinking his coffee to communicate to me with his eyes. They spoke volumes. She didn’t need to know most things. If anything.
As if she’d been able to tap into my psyche, she asked the one question I didn’t want her to.
“Have you met anyone yet? A nice girl?”
On a cough, I looked back to her, wondering how to answer. Deciding to skim over the details and leave it casual, I replied, “I may have. It’s early days yet.”
A sparkle gleamed in her eye. She wanted to see me find someone special and perhaps start a family.
“Where did you meet her? You’ll have to bring her around for dinner.”
Viper cleared his throat too, obviously uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed.
“Like I said, it’s early days.” How the hell did I explain why I’d met Mac at the hospital?
Saving my ass, Viper spoke up. “She’s a friend of mine. I introduced them.”
God bless him. He’d lied to my mother, but in this moment, I had to thank him for his quick thinking.
She seemed to buy it, nodding. “Well, I still want to meet her.”
Huffing out, I said, “If things progress, I’ll bring her over for dinner. I promise.”
We finished our coffees, chatting about nothing in particular, just enjoying the visit. We spoke about our last mission, glossing over a large portion of it. Mothers were on a need to know basis only, and with our ghost status, there was a lot we weren’t allowed to reveal. She didn’t know the half of it, thank goodness, and it would always remain that way. Her mind still held wonderful memories of my life with her and Dad, and I didn’t intend to change it.
“You mind if I go out to the garage?” I asked, needing to feel closer to Dad, even though I could still feel his presence inside.
Mom raised her eyebrows, but nodded. “You sure you’re ready? You haven’t been out there since your father…” She choked on the last word.
I rose and walked around the table to her, leaning down and burying my face into her neck. “I miss him too.”
In fact, I must have grieved for him prior to my shooting, because while sadness still cloaked my heart, it wasn’t unbearable.
“You want to join me?” I asked Viper.
Rising, he took the last sip of his coffee and placed his cup in the sink. “Lead the way, brother.”
Reaching for the key from a hook on the wall near the sliding door, I headed out. Each step forward pumped blood harder through my veins. It would be like stepping back in time, nothing having changed.
“You ready to do this?” Viper asked from behind me.
“No, but I need to.”
Putting the key in the lock on the side door, I opened it, the darkness swamping me for a moment as I reached to the left and fumbled for the light switch.
Even in the middle of the day, virtually no light got in until all the doors were opened.
The smell hit me. Memories followed.
“So, you’re getting married, huh?”
Dad leaned over the hood, tightening a hose clamp while I watched. We’d been chatting for the last hour. I relished these times. Our time. Just the two of us on a Sunday morning while Mom cleaned the house.
“Yeah, I guess I am.” I smiled down at him. Since telling my parents about marrying Trudy, they’d congratulated me, yet had mixed reactions. My mother had been thrilled. My dad, happy but reserved. I hoped now, he’d talk to me about why he might not be as encouraging as Mom.
“She prepared for the military life? It’s not easy, son.”
“I’ve asked her numerous times and explained that I’d be away on missions for weeks at a time, but she supports me and my career. We’ve known each other since high school, Dad. She knows how much I want this.”
“I’m just saying. She might think that now, but when you’re away in the middle of a war zone, missing birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions, she might regret her decision.”
He lifted his head and looked at me, his fa
ce drawn with worry.
I could imagine how concerned both he and Mom were, let alone having a wife at home, waiting and wondering as well. I’d questioned my reasons for asking Trudy to marry me. Whether I should put her through such anxiety, but at the end of the day, we loved each other, and knowing I had a committed woman back home would keep me going through the darkest of days. I trusted her to stick by me. She’d promised.
“She’s strong, Dad. I’m sure everything will be fine.” At least I hoped it would. I’d never had any doubts until now.
“And you sure you’re ready for marriage? I mean, is she the one?” Obviously seeing my eyes narrow at his probing questions, he cut me off. “Now, I know I sound like I’m not supporting you on this, but marriage isn’t easy at the best of times. Throw in a husband who puts his life on the line, it’s even tougher. You’ll see things, son, that will change you. You won’t be the same person you are now. It takes a super strong woman to deal with that.”
Breathing out and handing him the wrench when he reached for it, I replied, “I love her. She’s been there for me. She can handle it.” Couldn’t she?
Shit. Dad was putting qualms in my head. What if I got killed in action? She’d be left a war widow. Would she ever get over it?
“You didn’t answer my question, Dec. Is she the one? Does she make you a better person? Do you fall asleep at night and wake up each morning thinking of her? Does she help you breathe easier? Would she put her life on the line for you? Sacrifice it all, like you’re doing for her? Does she put those damn butterflies in your stomach, still?”
“Does Mom still do that for you?” I stalled and he knew it.
“You first.”
I mean, I did love Trudy. She was gorgeous, sweet, and caring. She looked after me all the time. Our sex life was great.
“Of course. I wouldn’t have asked her to marry me otherwise.” A niggling little seed of uncertainty grew in my brain that hadn’t been there before this conversation. My dad meant well and I knew he spoke from experience but, shit. I didn’t need to be having reservations. I had to steer the discussion in another direction. “Now you answer the question.”
True Sacrifice (The Lost and Found Series Book 2) Page 15