by Chad Kultgen
The other bitch says, “I don’t know if I want Paul to be down in that area.”
The other bitch says, “Does he ever use his hand on you?”
The other bitch says, “Yeah, sometimes.”
The other bitch says, “And do you like it?”
The other bitch says, “Yeah.”
The other bitch says, “Then think of how good a tongue would feel.”
The other bitch says, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe I should make some kind of deal with him. I’ll do him if he does me.”
The other bitch says, “You totally should. I think I’m going to do that to Kenny next time he wants me to suck his thing.”
The other bitch says, “I can’t believe we’re about to see Gwen.”
The other bitch says, “I know, it’s so cool.”
The other bitch says, “Do you think Gwen sucks Gavin’s you-know-what?”
The other bitch says, “I bet she doesn’t have to.”
The other bitch says, “She’s so awesome.”
That’s when I tune out and notice that even though we’re still far from being next in line, Gwen Stefani is in my line of sight. She is hot as fuck. Her hard little tits are pushing out against a wife beater that has the word ROCKSTAR printed on it in rhinestones.
I imagine what she’s like in the sack. My gut tells me that away from her public image, in the confines of whatever room she’s being fucked in, she’s completely submissive. No matter how much girl power she has, I imagine Gavin Rossdale’s dick has more power. I wonder what the two girls behind us in line would think of her if they could see her with a load of Rossdale’s cum sprayed all over her face.
Over the course of the next twenty minutes we make our way to the head of the line. Once there, Alyna hands her a poster she bought inside and we have the following conversation with Gwen Stefani:
Gwen Stefani says, “Hi there, who should I make this out to?”
Alyna says, “Alyna.”
Gwen Stefani says, “How do you spell that?”
Alyna says, “A-L-Y-N-A.”
Gwen Stefani says, “Cool name.”
Alyna says, “Thanks.”
Gwen Stefani signs the poster and hands it back to Alyna, then says, “There you go. Rock on.”
For some reason I say, “Thanks,” and we head back out into the mob.
When we get back to Alyna’s apartment, she puts the poster up on her bedroom wall and fucks me like a crazed animal. I don’t know if it was getting Gwen Stefani’s autograph or the fact that I offered no concrete objection to waiting around to get it that got Alyna so amped up, but I don’t question it.
As I look over at Gwen Stefani kicking at nothing in particular to display her unique style and empowerment, I pull out and blow a load all over Alyna’s tits.
chapter thirty-eight
Two-Month Anniversary
It’s been exactly two months since Alyna and I have officially referred to ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend and in celebration we’re eating at a Tex-Mex place on the coast called Marix that Alyna said was one of her favorites. I’m eating a burrito, trying not to think about my baby in Casey’s stomach that Alyna still doesn’t know about.
She says, “Does it seem like we’ve been dating for two months?”
I don’t know what a good answer to this question is. I say, “No.”
“I know.”
I guess that was what she wanted to hear.
“So what do you think of the food here?”
“It’s good.”
“I’m glad you like it. I love this place.”
She picks up her margarita, extends it out toward me, looks in my eyes, and says, “Let’s do a toast.”
I pick up my beer and clink her glass as she says, “Happy two-month anniversary.”
“Happy two-month anniversary.”
As what is potentially the culmination of importance in our two-month relationship is happening, Cameron Diaz walks right past our table, luring my gaze away from Alyna’s eyes and making it refocus on her own unimaginably perfect body.
I stare at her for at least five or ten seconds, remembering every time I’ve seen her in a bikini or her underwear in a movie before realizing that I’m in the middle of my own anniversary toast. I try to turn back to Alyna as nonchalantly as I possibly can in case there is some chance to explain away my lightning-quick loss of interest in our special moment and I see that Alyna herself is staring at Cameron Diaz.
Alyna says, “God, she is so fucking hot.”
Casey would have been in tears by now, questioning me about what our relationship means to me, etc.
Alyna says, “I think if I ever had sex with a woman it might be Cameron Diaz.”
It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to go over to Diaz’s table and ask her if she wants to have a threesome with Alyna and me. The odds obviously aren’t good that she’d say yes, but lightning has to strike somewhere. I remain seated, reasoning that although I might be able to gawk at Cameron Diaz’s ass on my two-month anniversary without incurring any ill feelings, I probably wouldn’t be able to solicit a two-girl orgy with my girlfriend and myself.
As we finish our dinner, we both can’t help taking a few more glances at Diaz, who’s here with a group of friends, some of whom are guys. I try to imagine being in Cameron Diaz’s circle of friends but can’t because I can’t get past the thought of her licking my balls while Alyna eats her out as I fuck Alyna doggie style.
About halfway through our dinner, I get up to take a piss and purposely walk too close to Diaz. She smells good.
Outside the pisser there’s a guy selling flowers. I’m not worried about the possibility of not getting fucked tonight, but I decide to buy Alyna some flowers anyway, knowing it will make her happy. When I get back to the table and give them to her, I say, “Happy Anniversary.”
Alyna smiles a big smile and says, “Look at you. You’re the perfect little boyfriend.” Then she leans across the table and gives me a kiss. As she kisses me I’m looking with one eye semi-open at Diaz, who I’m surprised to see is looking right back at our table, smiling a kind of “oh-isn’t-that-cute” kind of smile. Again, I have to swallow down the impulse to invite her into a threesome.
We finish eating and I take one last look at Cameron Diaz, trying to imagine what her pussy looks like before paying the bill and going back to my apartment.
When we get inside, Alyna thanks me for the flowers and hugs me. She says, “Happy anniversary,” and then kisses me and says, “Take me to the bedroom so we can have two-month-anniversary sex.” I comply.
Once in the bedroom she sucks my cock a little and I eat her out some. We fuck for a few minutes and then she says, “Wait.” I’m kind of scared to hear what’s coming next, but when she says, “Let’s do something different for our anniversary, something neither of us have ever done with anyone else,” I’m interested.
She rolls over onto all fours and says, “Have you ever fucked one of your other girlfriends in the ass before?”
Of course I have, but none of them ever had an ass as rock hard and perfect as Alyna’s.
I say, “No.”
She says, “Neither have I, let’s do it.”
I can’t believe I say, “You sure?”
But she erases my mistake with, “Yeah, I want to see what it’s like. Do you think we need to lube up first?”
“Maybe.”
We do the sixty-nine for a few minutes with me licking her asshole, which has the melon smell that I’ve now become familiar with. She seems to be genuinely getting off on it. This leads me to believe she may actually enjoy getting fucked in the ass, which would be something I’ve never experienced with another girlfriend.
After her asshole and my cock are sufficiently dripping with each other’s saliva, she rolls back over onto all fours and says, “Okay, go slow at first.”
As I put my cock in her asshole, she pushes her ass back toward me, forcing my dick in a few
inches. The little moan she lets out isn’t specific enough to let me know if she likes my dick in her ass or if it’s hurting her. She pushes back again until I’m almost balls-deep in her asshole. This time the moan is accompanied by her saying, “Oh my god. That feels so good,” letting me know she likes it.
I fuck her in the ass and reach around underneath her to play with her clit. Her ass is so tight I can barely move without cumming. Despite my efforts to remain totally still so as not to make myself blow an early load, Alyna keeps moving her ass back and forth, forcing my cock in and out of her.
I think about dogs getting hit by cars, my grandma, and the time I cut my knee open with the tin lid of a can of corn so deep I could see the bone. This helps me last until Alyna cums, the sound of which overcomes any repulsive or familial imagery I might be able to conjure, and I blow a massive load in her ass. As I pull out I can feel her asshole contracting around my cock. I wonder if I can get another instantaneous hard-on and start ass-fucking her again immediately. On second thought, the soreness that might result from a double inaugural ass-fucking might discourage her from ever doing it again. I pull out humbly.
As we lie in my bed she says, “Wow. That was really, really good.”
“So you liked it.”
“Yeah. I always thought I might, but Jesus Christ, that was almost better than normal sex. Do you like it?”
“Yeah.”
“So you wouldn’t care if we did that from time to time.”
“Nope.”
We lie there for a few minutes and then she says, “Hey, I want to tell you something and I don’t want it to freak you out.”
She’s pregnant too, she has AIDS, she used to be a man, I have no idea what’s coming as I say, “Okay…”
“I don’t know if there’s an easy way to say this so I guess I’ll just say it….
She’s been fucking someone else. She’s still fucking Duane. She’s getting back together with Duane and they’re getting married. Duane’s in the closet with a video camera and a gun.
She says, “I’m in love with you…I love you.”
I give in to my trained reaction and hug her, then say, “I love you, too,” and I think I actually might.
“You don’t have to say it back just because I did.”
“I’m not just saying it back.”
“You really love me?”
“Yeah,” and I think I really do.
She kisses me all over the face and rolls on top of me. I wonder if my semen is going to drip out of her ass and onto me as she says, “I know this is going to sound stupid, and I don’t really believe in fate or destiny or any of that stupid shit, but I kind of feel like we’re meant to be together.”
I don’t believe in any of that shit either. Casey did. This is the first moment in our relationship that I feel slightly uneasy about how good she makes me feel. I just smile back. She hugs and kisses me again, then says, “So we’re in love. Does being in love make you horny?”
She kind of grinds her cunt on my dick and it starts hardening up. “Do you want to fuck me in the ass again?”
“If you want to.”
She sits up a little and reaches back to grab my dick. Just before she inserts my cock into her ass for the second time in twenty minutes, she says, “Happy anniversary, I love you,” and I wish Casey would have been into ass fucking on the night I impregnated her.
chapter thirty-nine
Another Chance Encounter
Alyna and I are in the Beverly Center because she thinks the Bloussant is working and wants to see if a C-cup swimsuit will fit her. We’re holding hands as we walk into a store called Everything But Water and I’m ready to spend up to thirty minutes staring at Alyna’s tits as she tries on different bathing suits, but instead I get one mind-shattering second of staring Casey right in the eye as she looks up from a swimsuit rack to see Alyna and me walking toward her.
Casey doesn’t waste any time with pleasantries. She says, “Who’s this?”
I’m too stunned to speak. I wonder what the odds are of a terrorist attack on the Beverly Center occurring right now.
Alyna takes over. She says, “I’m Alyna, his girlfriend. I think we met once before. I think it was actually in the Beverly Center, too.”
Casey says, “His girlfriend, huh?” She shoots me a look. “Yeah, I remember that. That was like back when we were engaged. So what are you up to?”
I think she’s talking to me so I respond, “Nothing.”
Casey looks at Alyna and says, “So what do you do, Alyna the girlfriend?”
Alyna says, “Oh, I’m a senior at UCLA.”
Casey says, “Wow, you must be all of eighteen years old.”
I say, “She’s twenty-one.”
Casey says, “That’s just great. So what are you going to do when you graduate?”
Alyna says, “I don’t know yet. I haven’t really given it much thought.”
Casey says, “Well, good luck with that.”
We all stare at one another for a few awkward seconds, then Alyna says, “Look, I’m going to go try on a few suits. You guys should catch up.”
Casey says, “Yeah, we should catch up…because we haven’t talked to each other in such a long, long time.”
Alyna says, “Nice meeting you again,” then heads off to the back of the store, out of earshot.
Casey looks like she wants to kill me. She says, “A girlfriend? I’m guessing she doesn’t know that you’re going to be a dad, right?”
I shake my head.
Casey says, “A fucking girlfriend?!? And she’s twenty-one. We’re going to have a baby. How could you get a twenty-one-year-old girlfriend?”
“I like her.”
“Do you love her?”
The only thing I want to do less than have Alyna find out about my unborn child is have a conversation about my feelings for Alyna with Casey. I shrug my shoulders.
Casey says, “That means you don’t. Look, I don’t want to make like a big scene, so here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to break up with that little slut. Then next Sunday, my mom’s going to be in town. You’re going to go out to dinner with us and apologize to her for the last time she was out here and you’re going to tell her that everything is fine between us and that we’re going to get married just like we planned.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Then your new little girlfriend is going to find out that you’re about to be a daddy.”
I’m too scared to think it through rationally. I’m too horrified by the entire situation to realize that I could lie to Casey now, not break up with Alyna, and figure out something else later. I’m too terrified of letting Casey get her way and too filled with rage to think straight.
I say, “Fuck you.”
Casey says, “Have it your way.”
As if on cue, Alyna walks up from the back of the store with a bathing suit in her hand. Casey looks at me and musters up all of her Groundlings training as she says, “You bastard. I can’t believe you didn’t tell her that I’m pregnant with your child.” Then she slaps me and walks off into the mall, leaving me to stare into Alyna’s eyes, which tell me she’s already questioning every minute of our relationship.
Alyna says, “Is that true? Did you knock her up?”
I want to lie, but not to Alyna. I say, “Yeah.”
Alyna says, “That fucking sucks.”
“I know.”
“Will she get an abortion?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Fuck. That really fucking sucks.”
She stands there and repeats, “That fucking sucks,” a few more times, not in reaction to my life being ruined but in reaction to a relationship that could have been something really amazing getting flushed down the shitter right in front of her.
In the car on the way back to her apartment, she says that she really has fallen in love with me, but she can’t deal with a kid being thrown into the picture. She breaks up with me. Luckily sh
e’s too distraught at the thought of our relationship ending to realize the logistics of Casey’s pregnancy and my knowledge of it mean that I have been in contact with her beyond anything I’ve ever admitted.
When we get to her apartment, she hugs me and kisses me and says good-bye. I think about telling Alyna that I don’t love Casey and I don’t want anything to do with the baby in her gut. But the entire situation seems too far beyond repair. There’s no point.
As she gets out of the car, she cries a few tears and says, “This really fucking sucks,” one more time.
As I watch her go up the stairs to her building, my sadness at the loss of Alyna turns quickly to unbridled rage for the cunt who took her away from me.
chapter forty
Carlos’s Gay Party
I walk into a party with Carlos that he invited me to when I told him that Alyna broke up with me because I got Casey pregnant. The first thing I notice is that there are no women at this party.
I say, “Is this a gay thing?”
Carlos says, “Of course. What kind of parties do you think I go to?”
“Why’d you invite me to a gay party?”
“It’s better than staying home by yourself.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Well, maybe you’ll meet a cute boy who’ll give you a blow job and make you realize how stupid you were to ever stick your dick in a pair of meat curtains in the first place.”
Then Carlos says, “I’m going to go mingle,” and abandons me in the middle of an apartment full of fags.
As I go to the fridge to get a drink I run into a guy who says, “So you’re here with Carlos, huh? I didn’t think he had it in him.”
“Excuse me?”
“To get somebody as hot as you.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Oh, I know. I’m just friends with every guy I’ve ever let fuck me in the ass, too.”
“I’m straight.”
“What?”
“I’m straight.”
The gay guy says, “Then why’d you come to this party?”