by Devon Shubin
The Chancellor's face went from stern, to concern. “What laser space-station! The Fequians, like all habitable planetary systems have no space travel access! This Inspector is an outrage and I want a full investigation.”
“It be-cuz of da dome.”
“Can you get that thing out of your mouth and talk to me with clarity! And that's not a question it's a demand!”
He removed the lollipop. “No problem boss. Like I was saying, it’s because of the dlom that they have lost all reasonable sense. There is a high probability of the particulate there. And it needs to be eradicated before the people can get healthy again and start thinking rationally.”
“Why did you need a laser space-station Inspector?”
The Space Traveler exhaled and then explained, “Long story short, many hundreds of years ago, there was a group of extreme Fequians who decided to protect their planet from comets and asteroids, they believed if they pushed one of the planets into Goff…that's one of the two stars in their solar system the rock debris would do the trick. They built a space-station with a large laser to do that.”
A confused look now came over the Chancellor's face.
“I see you're confused. So, anyways remember I’m not a hero, just the messenger so,” he started chuckling, “Ya know, don't shoot the messenger. I’m just a lonely Space Traveler here guys.”
The Chancellor said as he was quickly losing his patience. “You’re not a Space Traveler, you are an Inspector for USHA! But go on.”
“Fine, fine. So, the planet exploded into the star, the debris, rock and other things spread out into the orbit to protect Fequ. That’s why there is an asteroid field now.”
The Chancellor held a large pen in his hand, “I’ll make sure we update our history books. Now, please Inspector, the laser space station.” He was grinding his teeth at this point.
“Right, why a laser space station? So, the sanitation director Qwalla, he trapped me in a holding tank and threatened if I did not help them use the laser to push Vodax into her sister Goff, then he would leave me there to starve to death...basically.” He went back to his lollipop.
The Chancellor looked over at his assistant on his right and then to the one on his left. “He committed a universal crime Inspector. I hope you informed him of that. Did you?”
“Oh, yeah...but he didn’t care. You see, when dlom affects your thinking capacity, well, it can literally control you. That's why you need to send the eradicators in to wipe it out. Once they do their job I’ll go back and inspect their work.”
The Chancellor was frowning at him now, “I know what your job duties are Mr. Inspector, but what you're not telling me is what you did with a laser space station!”
“Calm down, calm down. You’re gonna’ have heart attacks Chancellor, I’m getting there. You see, their planet is being pulled into Goff because of the strong gravitational pull, because what their ancestors did to the planet they destroyed. That triggered some sort of effect on the smaller star Vodax which is now being consumed by Goff. The Fequians wanted me to go back to their old space station, use the laser to finish off Vodax so the gravitational pull would not be as strong and would save their planet. It was actually a really cool situation.” he went back to his lollipop.
The Chancellor just stared at him. The Space Traveler went back to his lollipop and stared at the Chancellor. It was a very long and awkward moment. The two assistants became nervous, they shifted in their seats and gulped in their throats. The Space Traveler was not worried though. He always had these types of meetings with the Chancellor and they always went the same way. He would come home from some inspection and explain why he did what he typically did to get out of some shenanigan. The Chancellor always wanted to hear the entire story. Then, he would be required to fill out a very long ten or eleven-page form to create a report to be filed with USHA. It was all boring to our Space Traveler but, it was his job so he did his duty and that was that.
The Chancellor processed the story, but was still confused, it showed in his facial expression. “So…you broke protocol and saved the planet Fequ?”
Popping the lollipop out of his mouth the Space Traveler replied, “Huh, yeah, that’s about right. I told you, I’m more than an Inspector.” He went back to his lollipop.
The Chancellor looked over at his assistant to his right and then the one at his left. They both shrugged their shoulders.
“Well, in that case, I guess in that case you deserve an award.”
The Space Travelers eyes lit up. A small smile shaped around the blue stick in his mouth. “Willy.”
The Chancellor confirmed in a monotonous voice, “Yes Inspector, really.”
The lollipop came out of his mouth so he could inquire, “How about a parade.”
The Chancellor stared at him momentarily and then shook his head up and down, “Sure, why not.”
His face lit up brighter, excitedly he asked, “How about a key to the planet?”
“Whatever you want to make on your spare time, and any events you want to plan on your budget, go for it Inspector. But if you don’t get your purple behind out of my office in thirty seconds I am going to throw you in the abyss.”
The smile quickly dissipated from the Space Travelers face and he hoped out of the chair and jogged out of the Chancellors office. When the double sliding doors closed downward behind him he looked out into the open library style room at the many different beings coming and going.
“You pushed it a little too far S.T.,” he said to himself.
Now, the next part of this story would be extremely boring if I went over the details of the Space Travelers report and the paperwork he had to write up. So, let’s fast forward all that and get back to the good stuff. When the buzzing from his computer alerted him, our Space Traveler quit his typing on the hologram keypad and checked the message. On his screen the Chancellor appeared.
“Inspector.”
“Yes Chancellor,” he sung.
The Chancellor’s eyebrows were connected, “I Just received news that there is a is a problem on Lordak Pogna. Someone or something has held the Bodas main ingredient for food source hostage. It may be due to your theory on dlom affecting this type of rebellion. When was your last visit to that planet?”
“Well, I believe it was last year, but that would be too short of time for dlom to have affected a people. I cleared that planet if you recall.”
“Fine, but your mission is to investigate the situation. As we speak, the King of the Bodas has his army surrounding a mountain with caverns that spread like noodles in a hole. You better get some help on this one Inspector.”
The Space Traveler typed a few keys on his board and images of different beings shuffled. There was a creature with a large fish like head, alligator teeth and arms of a body builder. “No,” he said, “Too large.” He clicked the button and another creature appeared, snakelike with a claw nose for picking at things. “Nope, too ugly.”
The Chancellor was still on the screen. “Inspector, I hate to interrupt your screenings, but if you don’t mind I will retire now. Report to me when you land on Lordak Pogna.”
“Yes Chancellor,” he finally said to his boss and then continued scanning the archives for a being who was small yet powerful enough to help him. One creature popped up that looked like a short stubby pig-man. He clicked the rotating hologram and it expanded with the biography of the thing. It read:
‘Name: Fretch
Species: Oligthor
Height: 4’ 2”
Intelligence: Medium
Skills: Stretching anatomy to height of 9 feet in length
The Space Traveler smiled, “Perfect.” He then typed on his keypad the location of Fretch and the data pulled up a city on the other side of the planet called Rudon. “Rudon,” he thought, “why do I know that name?” He typed on his keypad again ‘Rudon and the data pulled up. Rudon was a vacation resort for retired species. The pictures clearly shuffled snowy mountains, crystal purple and pink
rivers flowing into lakes of rainbow waves. Elderly creatures with white hair, some bald, were water-skiing, water rafting, snow surfing, and flying. It was a wild sight.
“Huh,” he said to himself, “So that’s where Grandpa went to die.”
Later that day our Space Traveler was loading up his ship with supplies for the mission. He had plenty of pink goop for his smoothie drinks, some small round creatures to bar-b-que later and plenty of water. The interesting thing about the water on this planet is due to the high color formations from the rocks and the atmosphere, the water is a rainbow colored also when the sunlight hits it just right. He took a drink of water from a container and tossed it into the cockpit of his new smaller star ship. 41-A, his chrome robot on wheels scooted up the ramp with a box in her arms of fruits of some sort. Use your imagination on that one will you, I can’t come up with every creation in this story.
From behind him a female voice said, “It looks like your headed off on another inspection.”
He turned around to face a very familiar creature. She was green with red spots the size of quarters covering her skin. Her name is Alegna, and to the beings in this universe, she is a knock out. She had the body of a swimmer, the tail of a crocodile and the face of shark. I know you want to see an illustration of this, sorry, wait for the movie or the comic books.
The Space Traveler replied, “Alegna! Long time no see pretty woman. What have you been doing these last few months?”
She half hugged him, “Well, I’ve been busy with the glopie problem you dealt with on Jiosk. The data came back and the people were starving if it were not for your heroics.”
He blushed inside, because he’s purple and I don’t know if that’s possible.
“Inspector, you should be proud of yourself,” she said, “Sometimes you go on your inspections and have nothing really to do. Lately you’ve been busy saving planets and stars. Wow, I’m impressed.”
“You heard about that?”
She typed on her forearm console pad and a hologram popped up with a news feed of Fequ and the star Goff in the distance. The news reporter exclaimed, “The USHA Inspector saved the planet and the Fequian people.”
He was taken back and did not know what to say. She closed the hologram. “I guess it is what you do now. Say, when do you get back from your next assignment?”
“Why?” He nervously asked her.
“Because, I thought we could do something. Anything. You know Clorier died.”
“Was that your husband?”
“Yes, but don’t get me wrong, I am not grieving. In my culture when a mate dies he transfers his energy to you. That energy gives me the strength to go on because I know he is in a good place. And even though we did not have time to produce offspring, I will honor him with children of my own when the moons are aligned.”
“Very interesting. Now for my kind, the Duraduskans, we have a seven-day mating ritual, it’s a vacation if you will.”
“But you have no mate do you Inspector?” She flirted.
“No, no not me. I’m too busy traveling the universe.”
“Well, my job is complete now. I have plenty of time on my hands. It’s too bad that I can’t tag along?”
He wiped sweat from his forehead moving his noodle hair out of the way, “I wish you could Alegna, but space travel is only for those on assignment from USHA. You would need to either be recruited by me or the Chancellor.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” she approached him and brushed his shoulder with the back of her hand, “What if I was a stowaway?” Her tail rose over her head a wagged.
“Huh,” he nervously answered, “You mean hide out in my ship? Ha, now that would be funny.”
“Don’t’ underestimate me Inspector,” she winked at him, then turned and walked away.
“What does she mean by that?” he said to himself as 41-A wheeled up next to him and said, “Captain, the ship is ready for travel to Rudon.”
He looked at the chrome robot, “Very good 41, now, let’s fire up the engines.”
Alegna briefly looked over her right shoulder as she walked away, her large crocodile tail shifting from side to side. “Goodbye gorgeous,” he said under his breath and then entered the ship.
In the cockpit, he hit a couple buttons and said, “Let’s hit it 41!” Off the smaller ship lifted out of the terminal and ascended into the sky rocketing through the white clouds. Blue smoke trailed the ship as it jettisoned into orbit and then back down on the other side of the planet within minutes.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. Keep your carry-ons stowed and seat belts fastened, we are descending to our stop in a few seconds,” the Space Traveler said in the intercom as 41-A looked at him in her locked position against a wall.
The ship sped down like a rocket to where the vacation capital of the universe awaits them. Just think of Disneyland for senior citizens. Except, these old folks have the energy of children due to the headbands surgically implanted in their cerebral. The energy provided gives them vitality, if their money is in the resorts account, that is.
The ship slowly descended downward toward a hangar where two robots waving yellow flags signal him to a loading dock. The Space Traveler looks down through the windshield and lands the ship on the pad. “Ok, 41, stay with the ship and make sure we don’t have anyone breach. Some of the help here are not the most of honest of beings.”
“As you wish Captain.” 41-A replied as she unlocked her wheel from the metal brake and wheeled after him as he exited the ship.
“I won’t be long,” he said to her as he waved his arm in the sky.
41-A closed the door to the ship and wheeled back to the cockpit and watched as the Space Traveler walked into the space port. He came across a security check where a ten-foot-tall five-hundred-pound gorilla crossed with a moose like creature stood in front of him.
“Credentials?” The gorilla-moose security guard asked.
“Sure,” the Space Traveler said as he pulled out from under his inside vest a lanyard with his ID card attached. The gorilla-moose security guard looked closely at it. “Inspector,” he said, “They are expecting you.”
“Thank you, Kong,” he sarcastically said as he walked by the giant guard. Down through a hallway of glass that exposed the adjacent rooms where simulators of elderly people riding roller coasters, canoeing through rivers, sky diving and a few other activities. “Looks like Grandpa must have had a good time here.”
Walking further down the hallway, he came to a set of double doors that slid downward. He entered a large red carpeted room where a being with four eyes awaited him. Now, this was indeed a strange being. He had two eyes at the sides of his head and two eyes one at his forehead and the other where his nose should be. This would be a great place for an illustration, maybe the special edition will have one. Until then, you will just have to use your imagination. Remember, this is a novel, not a graphic novel.
Now, the being wore an all-white sailor type uniform. He also has four arms. He’s a four eyed, four-armed freak, ok. He greeted the Space Traveler.
“Hello Inspector, I am Belko the Director of our resort. The Chancellor said to introduce you to one of our top employees here. Fretch Umpet. He is quit an extraordinary being I tell you. But don’t let his appearance fool you.”
“Well, I need his stretching ability for my next assignment so, if you will kindly take me to him we can meet and greet and then get a move on it. There’s a crisis at hand on Lordak Pogna.”
“Oh, a crisis, I see Inspector. Well, sad to inform you but we too have a small crisis in our resort,” Belko lowered his head.
“What kind of crisis Belko?”
He raised his head and then answered him, “Can I show you?”
The Space Traveler was worried at this point, due to the trap that was set back on Fequ, you would be too. He hesitated and then replied, “Fine, but you need to make it quick, I have an emergency assignment.”
“Yes, yes, of course,”
Belko said as he turned and scurried off, “Follow me Inspector, this you will want to see. And not to worry, this is different than what happened to you on Fequ.”
“How do you know about that?”
Belko looked at him while they walked down the hallway, he answered, “It’s on the news feed. Everyone in the Universe knows.”
“The medias got a big mouth,” The Space Traveler said under his breath as they continued down the hallway. He then looked left and right at the security cameras that zoomed in on him. The red light below the cameras were blinking as if he was being recorded. He followed Belko who lifted his arm and his wristband opened each doorway they approached. When they came to a large silver door that had a sign, ‘access prohibited.’
Belko turned around and said, “This is for your eyes-only Inspector. If word gets out about this, it may shut us down.”
“Open the door Belko.” He said with a nonchalant attitude. Belko shook his head up and down and then raised his arm, the wristband activated the door and it slid downward into the floor.
“This way Inspector.” Belko walked into the dim room where a single light shined down on the center of the metal floor.
Complaining, “If he couldn’t be any more dramatic,” the Space Traveler said under his breath as they walked into the room.
Belko waived his arm again and the door rose from the floor and closed in the ceiling. The Space Traveler looked behind him briefly and then held his infrared gun at his side waist.
“Don’t be alarmed Inspector, but what you are about to see will change your mind about dlom.” Belko explained as he then said, “Computer, open the shades.”
The circular room was now exposed as the tinted glass disappeared revealing a room behind glass with hundreds of surgical tables. Creatures of every kind were lying on them. They were covered in greenish black dlom.
The Space Traveler would have gasped if he was not a professional. “How long has this been happening Belko?”
Belko approached the windows, “A few months now. The first case was when our maid service found one of our guests in his bed, dlom was bubbling from his mouth. He was already dead by then. But its feeding on these beings. Is that typical?” He then turned back around and face him.