by Carter Ashby
“Nice is okay,” Jayce said. “Being a pushover isn’t. A woman likes to be challenged. You gotta pick a fight once in a while, just for the hell of it. You know, dominate.”
“I don’t know why I ask you for advice.”
Jayce shrugged and popped some peanuts into his mouth. “I know what the fuck I’m talking about, that’s why.”
“Well, you’re right about not being a pushover. I don’t think I am, it’s just I’m willing to compromise most of the time. I just want the woman I’m with to be happy.”
“And sweet.”
“Yeah.”
“Well can I tell you what else a woman wants?”
Kellen laughed. “Sure. I’m always up for some good fiction.”
“She wants a guy with a personality.”
“Now what the hell do you mean by that?”
“I mean you’re so nice, so focused on making that woman happy, that you put your own wants and needs aside. That’s real cool of you, but eventually a chick wants to know who you are. What you stand for. What you want. That sort of thing.”
Jayce handed him another beer while he let that thought sink in. Was that really the problem? His dates didn’t think he was too nice, they were just…bored with him? It fit with the reasoning behind all his past breakups. He could only remember one time being the one to call off a relationship. The rest of the times had been them breaking up with him.
“I think you got one right, Jayce.”
“Huh?” It had been a couple of minutes and Jayce had the attention span of a toddler.
“Nothing. Hey, you haven’t seen my brother, have you?”
“Saw him last night. He got completely hammered. Maya and the kids came to pick him up.”
Kellen ground his teeth together.
“What’s wrong?” Jayce asked.
“He went home and….” Kellen couldn’t even say it.
Jayce’s eyes widened, and then they narrowed. “He hurt Maya?”
“I guess it’s been going on a while. I feel so…so guilty for not seeing it and helping sooner.”
Jayce’s knuckles were turning white as he gripped the counter. His jaw was tight. “He hurt Maya?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous. His dad had beaten his mom nearly to death a long time ago. Domestic abuse was a sensitive subject for him.
“She’s leaving him.”
Jayce dropped his head forward as he leaned on the counter. “Tell him not to come in here again. Ever.”
Kellen was startled by the intensity of Jayce’s reaction.
Jayce looked up at him, his brown eyes gone dark. “I’m serious. I’ll kill him if I see him.”
“Okay. Okay, Jayce, I’ll warn him not to come here.”
Jayce stood back from the bar, rolled his shoulders a couple of times, and let out a breath. “So, is she okay? Does she need anything?”
“I think she’s good. She’s staying with Zoey.”
Jayce groaned and rolled his eyes. That was the general reaction among most people when Zoey’s name was mentioned. Either that or piss-in-their-pants terror.
“Hey, come on, she’s not so bad,” Kellen said. And then he frowned and wondered why such foreign and untrue words had spilled out of his face. “What did I just say?”
“You know you have a problem, that’s the first step to recovery.”
Kellen gave himself a shake. “Anyway, yes, she’s horrible. But she’s opening up her home to Maya, Sophie, and Matthew, so that’s a good thing.”
“Sure. And if Satan offered you a place to crash, I’m sure God would promote him right back to angel status.”
“Jesus, man, she’s not that bad.” There he’d gone and said it again. What was happening to him?
“We put her face in the center of the dartboard, Kel.” Jayce pointed to the wall off to his left where there was, indeed, a picture of Zoey’s face in the middle of the dartboard.
“Seriously?”
He shrugged. “She ran over Eddie’s foot last week when she was pulling out of the bank and then she flipped him off and threatened to sue him if his boot damaged her tire. So he’s been throwing darts at her face. Hasn’t improved his aim.” The last part he said loudly enough for Eddie to hear.
Eddie glared at him and threw a dart, missing Zoey’s face by an inch. Kellen stared in a mixture of shock and disgust.
“Anyway, at least Maya and the kids are safe,” Jayce said. “If they need anything, let me know.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Jayce nodded and moved down the bar to a thirsty customer. Kellen finished his beer and went home to sleep off one of the worst days of his life.
CHAPTER SIX
The next morning Kellen woke up and just lay there. He typically swung his legs right out of bed and jumped on into his day. He had a great life. He’d breezed through college, paying his way with his photography, and had a lucrative freelance career by the time he graduated. Things had come easy to him, he supposed. He also wasn’t afraid of work, though, and as a result, he was usually full of energy.
But after yesterday, he was just not feeling it. Times like this he was glad he lived out in the woods. He’d inherited this cabin from a favorite uncle a few years back. With a few renovations, it had become a comfortable home. It was close enough to town that he could get good internet, which he needed for his job. And far enough that he couldn’t hear any neighbors or highway sounds.
At the moment, there was a stiff wind rattling his rafters. He knew that outside his walls were temperatures in the thirty-degree range, and it made him desperately want to stay buried under his covers. He needed to check on Maya and then locate his brother. He hadn’t heard from Damon since yesterday morning. He would also need to go to his parents’ house and tell them what was going on, in case they hadn’t already heard.
With a groan, he climbed out of bed, cast it a longing glance, and went to the bathroom to shower and get dressed. He bundled up and drove the seven miles into town. He pulled into Zoey’s driveway and saw her garage was open. He climbed out of his truck and approached the edge of the garage warily. Her car was there, and she was standing in front of it, her back to him, next to the door that led inside.
She was letting fly a string of curse words. Just standing there. Saying them. To no one.
“Damn, hell, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck….” She camped out on fuck for a while, then the flow of words got more creative and colorful as Kellen watched. Without warning she stopped, knelt to pick up a bag of salt, and turned.
She jumped when she saw him. She pulled her earbuds out with one hand. “The fuck are you doing here?”
He laughed. “What’s with the swear-fest?”
She kept her glare hard and angry for a few seconds, until at last she relaxed and rolled her eyes. “I can’t cuss in front of the kids, so I come out here to get it out of my system.” She scrunched up her nose, like she was uncertain whether she should be embarrassed.
She was cute. He couldn’t believe he was thinking that about Zoey of all people, but she was downright cute. Her red hair was wild hanging out of her stocking cap, and she had a band of freckles across the top of her nose. Her eyes sparkled always. And she apparently suffered from excessive build-ups of profanity that she had to purge from her system.
“What?” she said. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
He gave himself a mental shake. “Uh, no reason.”
“Okay. Well if you insist on burdening us with your presence, you may as well make yourself useful. Here.” She shoved the bag of salt into his chest. “Salt my driveway. It’s supposed to snow tonight. And after that, run down to the bakery and get some donuts for us. We’re dying for donuts.”
She turned to go. Holding the salt with one arm, he reached out and grabbed her by the elbow. She spun and glared at him. He shoved the salt back into her arms. “Say please,” he commanded, because damn it, if he was going to be stuck with her, she was going to learn some basic manners.
He couldn’t tell whether she was offended or amused. “I beg your pardon?” she said, accompanied by an incredulous laugh.
“You heard me. Ask me nicely.” He closed the distance between them and towered over her, fully intending to stare her down, if necessary. No more of this being pushed around business. No, he was going to stand his ground.
Except that wisps of her hair brushed against the cream-colored curves of her jaw and neck and his throat suddenly got tight. He reached up, without even thinking, and pushed the hair aside, letting his knuckles graze her skin.
“It’s not a request,” she said, though she sounded a little less forceful. “It’s my terms. If you wanna be here, you gotta help out.”
“I’m here, Zoey, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m happy to help out. But you have to say please.”
Her eyes locked on his, and he nearly buckled. But he knew she wouldn’t respect the weakness. So he held on until, at last, her lips began to turn up in a smile. “Salt the damn driveway.”
He arched a brow and folded his arms over his chest.
Something changed in her eyes. She sat the salt on the floor and then got in his space. Completely in his space. Her breasts brushed against his crossed arms. She grabbed him by the crotch and then licked his neck. She nipped at his earlobe and whispered, “Salt the driveway, Kellen. Now.”
With a squeeze of his balls, she backed away, flashed him a grin, and disappeared inside. Time paused while Kellen stood there, brain-dead, his arms fallen at his sides, gaping at the space in front of him.
After he salted the driveway, Kellen went out for donuts and coffee.
When he got back, Sophie and Matthew were happy to see him only for as long as it took them to see the chocolate and sprinkle covered pastries. He set the donuts on the kitchen table and then leaned against the counter and watched them. Their faces were chocolate-smeared in an instant.
“Thanks. You can go now.”
He turned to see Zoey coming past him from the hallway. She was freshly showered and wearing jeans and a grey Henley. She sat at the table with the kids and dug out a bear claw.
Kellen had never in his life seen a woman eat a donut so unapologetically and with such gusto. To top it off, she went and ate another. “Hey, before you go, pour us some milk, will ya?” she asked, her mouth full of the cinnamon roll she was halfway through.
This time he didn’t do what she asked. Instead, he took the seat to her left and pulled a plain glazed from the box. “Where’s Maya?”
“Asleep. She had a rough night.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. What’s her next course of action?”
She rolled her eyes at him. He wasn’t sure if he was annoying her or if he’d just asked a really stupid question. “She’s going to stay here until she recovers. Addy’s taking her to the courthouse to get a protection order, so Damon’ll be served today.” She narrowed her eyes at him all of a sudden. “You’re not going to make trouble, are you? Maybe I should keep you here until we get that done. So you don’t go blabbing to him.”
“I wouldn’t….“ He stopped himself. He didn’t need to defend himself. Something occurred to him that made him smile. “If you want me to stay, Zoey, all you have to do is ask.”
This got her. She sat up straight and glared at him. “I do not want you to stay. That’s the last thing in the world I could ever want.”
He held her gaze this time. He’d meant it yesterday when he’d said he wasn’t afraid of her anymore. He always had been, to an extent, because he hadn’t understood her. Now that he’d gotten a peek beneath her bristly, outer layer, he wasn’t quite as nervous. “Tell me to go, then. Tell me one more time.”
She leaned in, hit him with those eyes, and said, “Go.”
His expression fell. “Damn,” he muttered, “I overestimated my play.”
She grinned and slapped him on the arm. “You’re growing on me, jerk face.” She stood and went to the kitchen. He watched her wash the sticky frosting off her fingers and then pour herself another coffee.
Maya came in. Her kids stared at her, no doubt just as fearful and shocked as Kellen was. She looked about a hundred times worse than yesterday. Kellen jumped to his feet and hurried to her side. She was moving so stiffly. She was in a long-sleeved night shirt that hung down to her thighs. When he took her arm, his hand sank farther into the fabric of her shirt than he’d expected. How much weight had she lost? And when had she lost it?
She noticed him looking her up and down. “Damon didn’t like me to gain any weight. I was afraid.”
He gingerly brought her into his arms and stroked her hair. And then there was another pair of arms around them, or rather one around him and one around Maya. Zoey kissed Maya on the head. “We’re gonna fatten you right up,” she said. “You’ll be up to a C cup before you know it.”
Maya laughed and then winced, her hand going to her broken rib.
“Let’s get her in the recliner,” Zoey said. “She’s gonna camp out there for the day, aren’t ya?”
Maya nodded, and Kellen helped her into the living room. Zoey brought her a plate of donuts and a big glass of milk. “Look what Kellen brought us.”
“You’re a generous god, Kellen,” Maya said.
Zoey’s phone buzzed in the pocket of her jeans. She looked at the screen for a long moment. As she was answering it, she walked out the front door. Kellen watched her go. He stepped back away from Maya and leaned against the wall so he could watch out the window. She was in her front yard, just at the base of the porch. Her head was down, her phone in a death grip. She was pacing back and forth, back and forth. Her hair was covering her face, so he couldn’t tell what she was feeling.
“Oh, God,” Maya groaned. “Kellen, she’ll eat you alive.”
He frowned, still watching Zoey. “What are you talking about?”
“You. Gazing with curiosity and interest. Run. Run the other way.”
He let out a laugh and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m not crushing on Zoey.”
She snorted and then winced. “Your face is an open book. I love her, but she’ll demolish your soul. Don’t let yourself even entertain the idea.”
Zoey was holding the phone out in front of her, doing something with her thumb. And then all of a sudden she hurled it to the ground and started stomping on it. Startled, Kellen ran around Maya and out the front door.
Zoey’s mouth was a volcano of profanities. Only this time, there was real anger behind the words. She stopped and turned her face up to him. There was more naked vulnerability there than he thought she was capable of. She covered it quickly, though. “Fuck off, Kellen!”
“What happened?”
“Did I invite you into my front yard to eavesdrop on me?”
“Honey, what happened?” he asked, approaching her.
She backed up a step. “Why don’t you wipe that ridiculous expression of concern of your big, stupid face and leave me the fuck alone? No one wants you here, Kellen, just leave!”
He snapped. “God dammit, Zoey, what is your problem? I’m trying to be nice to you.”
“Go to hell!”
“You really are demon-spawn, aren’t you? Know what? You go to hell because that’s sure as fuck where you came from. I’m glad they throw darts at your face.”
She stopped shrieking at him. “What? Who throws darts at my face?”
He swallowed and shrugged. “Just some guys at some bar.”
“Jayce’s bar?”
He shrugged again.
“Jayce lets them throw darts at my face?”
He decided that the sky looked awfully interesting at that moment.
She huffed. “Anyway. That was my mom.”
She had his attention again. He didn’t know anything about her relationship with her mom.
“Apparently she’s coming for Christmas.”
“And…that’s a bad thing?” he asked.
She glared at him, and he thought, for a moment, that she was going to shu
t him down again. But then she softened. “Yeah. It’s a bad thing. I had these plans to give Sophie and Matthew this precious little Christmas. We were going to get a tree today while Addy took Maya to the courthouse, and I thought on Christmas morning maybe you could dress up as Santa.”
Something tightened in his chest. “You were going to ask me to be part of your Christmas?”
“Yeah,” she said. She leaned forward and patted his stomach. “You’re halfway there. All you need’s the suit.”
He looked down at his perfectly flat belly. “What are you talking about? There’s nothing but solid abs, there, see?” He lifted his sweater just enough to show her.
She bit her bottom lip and arched a brow at him. “So there is. My mistake. Yum, Kellen.”
He felt his face go suddenly hot. Even in that moment he recognized the need for caution. This fire was extremely volatile and wildly unpredictable.
“Anyway,” she went on, as though she hadn’t just rocked his moment, “if my mom comes, I don’t know how I’ll be able to give them that Christmas.”
“Why not?”
She leaned down and picked up her decimated phone. Then she sat on her porch step. Her breath formed little clouds in front of her. “I know in my head that my mom isn’t a good person. I know she’s selfish and that she’ll hurt me, but for some reason, whenever I see her, I just want to throw my arms around her and beg her to love me. It’s just the most pathetic thing. Basically, I hate myself when she’s around.”
Kellen sat next to her but not too close. The thread of trust being offered him was extremely fragile. “I didn’t know you and she weren’t close.”
“As soon as I was old enough to start staying by myself, she started taking off. She’d have these phases of just acting like this really good mom. She’d bake cookies and get us matching Easter dresses. Other times, she’d find a boyfriend and disappear for days at a time.”
Kellen watched her hands fidgeting with her broken phone. He desperately wanted to hold them. “That why you think nice people are fake?”
“Oh, God, don’t psychoanalyze me, Kellen. Nice people are fake. I’d rather you just tell me to my face that you think I’m a bitch than to tip-toe around me out of fear.”