I sat there for a time, until suddenly ten maidens like moons came forward, and formed two lines of five, facing each other. They were followed by twenty more swelling-breasted virgins and in the middle of them was Lady Zubaida, wearing such a quantity of jewellery and such splendid robes that she could scarcely walk. When she came forward, the maids round about her dispersed and I went up and kissed the ground before her. She gestured to me to sit, and when I had taken my place in front of her, she began to question me. She asked about my family background and she was pleased at my answers to all her questions. She said to the girl: ‘The way that I brought you up has not proved a failure,’ and to me she said: ‘Know that this girl is like a daughter to me and she is entrusted by God to your protection.’
I kissed the ground before her, happy that I was to be allowed to marry. On Lady Zubaida’s orders, I stayed in the palace for ten days, during which I did not see the girl but was brought my meals morning and evening by a servant. At the end of this period, the Lady Zubaida consulted the caliph about the girl’s marriage, and he gave his permission, as well as providing the girl with ten thousand dinars. Lady Zubaida sent for the notaries and the qadi and they drew up her marriage contract. After that the servants prepared sweetmeats and splendid dishes, which they distributed among all the rooms in the harem. Ten more days passed like this and after a total of twenty days, the girl went to the baths.
The servants then brought a small table, on which among other dishes was a plate of sugared almonds and vinegar, on top of which had been poured rosewater scented with musk. It contained roasted chicken breasts and an astonishing variety of other ingredients. I didn’t wait but set upon it and ate my fill, but although I wiped my hands, I forgot to wash them. I sat there until nightfall, when the candles were lit and the singing girls came in with their tambourines. They went round the whole palace, displaying the bride and being showered with gold coins, after which they brought her forward, having taken off her outer clothes.
I found myself alone with her on the bed, and I embraced her, scarcely believing that I was going to enjoy union with her. Then, on my hand, she caught the scent of the dish I had eaten and she screamed aloud. The maids came in from all sides, while I trembled, not knowing what was happening. ‘What is the matter with you, sister?’ they asked. ‘Remove this madman from me,’ she said, ‘for I had thought that he was a person of sense.’ ‘What symptom of madness have you seen in me?’ I asked her. ‘Madman,’ she said, ‘how is it that you ate the almond dish without washing your hands? By God, I shall repay you for what you have done. Is someone like you to sleep with someone like me?’ Then from beside her she took a plaited whip and started to beat my back and then my buttocks with so many strokes that I fainted. ‘Take him,’ she ordered the maids, ‘and bring him to the city magistrate to cut off the hand with which he ate the almond dish and which he failed to wash.’
When I heard this, I exclaimed: ‘There is no might and no power except with God! Is my hand to be cut off simply because I ate that dish and didn’t then wash my hands?’ The maids interceded with her and said: ‘Sister, don’t punish him this time for this fault.’ ‘I must cut off some of his extremities,’ she said, after which she went away. She stayed away for ten days, during which I didn’t see her, but after that she came back to me and said: ‘Black face, I’ll teach you how to eat without washing your hands!’ Then she called to the maids, who tied me up, and taking a sharp razor she cut off my thumbs and my big toes, as you all can see. I fainted, but she sprinkled powder over me, which stopped the flow of blood. I started to say that I would never again eat that dish without first washing my hands forty times with potash, forty times with galingale and forty times with soap. She made me swear to do this, as I have said, and that is why, when you produced this dish, I changed colour and said to myself that this was why I had lost my thumbs and my big toes, and when you forced it on me, I said that I must keep the oath that I had sworn.
The man was then asked what had happened after that. ‘When I swore that oath for her,’ he said, ‘she calmed down and she and I slept together. We stayed there for a time, but after that she said that the caliph’s palace was not a good place for us to be. “No man apart from you has ever entered it and you only did that because of the care taken by the Lady Zubaida. She has given me fifty thousand dinars, so take the money and go out to buy us a house.” I went and bought one that was both handsome and spacious, and into this she moved all the elegant possessions she had in the palace, together with all the wealth, materials and treasures that she had stored up. This, then, is the reason why I lost my thumbs and my toes.’
We finished eating following our recitation and left, and it was after this that I had my encounter with the hunchback. This is the end of my story.
The king said: ‘This was no more agreeable than the tale of the hunchback, and, in fact, his was more agreeable than yours, so I must certainly hang you all.’ At that, the Jewish doctor came forward and said: ‘Lord of the age, I can tell you a more remarkable story than that of the hunchback.’ ‘Then produce it,’ said the king, and the jew said:
The most remarkable thing that happened to me in my youth took place when I was in Damascus, where I was studying. While I was sitting in my lodgings one day, up came a mamluk from the palace of the governor of the city, who told me to come to his master. I went out with him to the palace, and when I entered I saw at the upper end of the hall a couch of juniper wood plated with gold, on which a sick person was lying. This turned out to be a young man, the most handsome to be seen. I took my seat by his head and uttered a prayer for his recovery. He made a sign to me with his eyes and I asked him to be so good as to give me his hand. I was surprised when he produced his left hand and I said to myself: ‘By God, how remarkable. Here is a handsome young man, from a great house, but he lacks manners. This is strange.’ I felt his pulse and wrote him a prescription, after which I paid him regular visits for ten days until he recovered. He then went to the baths and came out after having washed himself. The governor presented me with a fine robe and appointed me as one of his superintendents in the Damascus hospital.
When I went to the baths with my patient, these had been completely cleared for him. The servants brought him in and took his clothes, and when he was stripped I saw that his right hand had recently been amputated, that being the cause of his illness. The sight filled me with surprise and I was feeling sorry for him when I looked at his body and could see from his scars that he had been beaten with whips and treated with salves. This troubled me and my concern showed on my face. Looking at me, he understood what I was feeling. ‘Physician of the age,’ he said to me, ‘don’t be surprised at my condition, and I will tell you my story when we leave the baths.’ We left and went to the palace, where we ate and then rested. ‘Would you like to look at the upper room?’ he asked me, and when I said yes, he ordered the slaves to take the furnishings upstairs, as well as to roast a lamb and to bring us fruit. When the fruit had been fetched, we ate, the young man using his left hand. I then asked him to tell me his story. ‘Physician of the age,’ he said, ‘listen to what happened to me.’ HE WENT ON:
You must know that I was born in Mosul and when my grandfather died, he left ten sons, of whom my father was the eldest. They all grew up and married, but while my father produced me, his nine brothers had no children. I grew up among my uncles and they took the greatest pleasure in me. When I had grown to man’s estate, I sat one day in the mosque of Mosul at the time of the Friday prayer. My father was there, and when we had performed the prayer, the congregation all left, while my father and my uncles sat talking about the wonders of the world and the marvels of foreign cities, until they mentioned Cairo. My uncles said: ‘Travellers claim that on the face of the earth there is no city more beautiful than Cairo by the Nile.’
When I heard this, I felt a longing to see Cairo and my father said: ‘Whoever has not seen Cairo has not seen the world. Its soil is gold; its river is a wonder;
its women are houris; its houses are palaces; its climate is mild; and its scent surpasses that of frankincense, which it puts to shame. There is nothing surprising about this, as Cairo is the whole world. How eloquent was the poet who said:
Am I to leave Cairo, with its comforts and delights?
What other place is there to rouse my longing?
Am I to leave a land which is itself perfume,
Rather than what is found in the partings of perfumed hair?
How could I do this when this is a paradise of loveliness,
Strewn with rich carpets and cushions,
A land whose splendour fills eye and heart with longing,
Holding all that the godly and ungodly can desire?
Here are true brothers united in their merit,
Meeting within the confines of its gardens.
People of Cairo, if God decrees that I must leave,
Covenants and compacts still remain between us.
Do not mention her to the zephyr lest it may
Steal from her gardens scent to give elsewhere.’
My father went on: ‘Were you to see its gardens in the evening in the slanting shadows, you would see a wonder and be filled with delight.’ He and his brothers started to describe Cairo and the Nile, and when they had finished and I had listened to the description of the place, my mind remained fixed on it. At the end of this, each one got up and left for his own home, while I could not sleep that night because I had conceived a passion for Cairo, as a result of which I could enjoy neither food nor drink. A few days later, my uncles made preparations to go to Cairo and I wept bitterly until my father provided me with some trade goods and I went off with them, although his instructions were that I should not to be allowed to enter Cairo but was to be left to sell my goods in Damascus.
I took leave of my father and we set out on our journey from Mosul, carrying on until we reached Aleppo, where we stopped for a few days. Then we continued to Damascus, where we found a city of trees, streams and birds, like a paradise, with fruits of all kinds. We stopped at one of the khans and my uncles stayed in the city to trade. They also sold my goods and delighted me by making a profit of five hundred per cent, before going on to Egypt, while I stayed behind in a house so attractively built that it beggared description. The rent was two dinars a month and I stayed there eating and drinking until I had spent all the money that I had with me.
One day, as I was sitting by the door of the house, a girl came up, wearing as splendid a dress as I had ever seen. I winked at her and without hesi tation she passed through the door. I followed her in and closed the door behind us. She then removed her cloak and the veil from her face, and I found that she was astonishingly beautiful. Love for her took possession of my heart and I went off and brought a tray of the tastiest foods and fruits and all that the occasion required. When I had fetched this, we ate, and then, after an interval for play, we drank until we became drunk. I then got up and slept with her, passing the most delightful of nights.
The following day, I gave her ten dinars, but she frowned, knitting her brows, and exclaiming indignantly: ‘Shame on you, Mosuli! Do you think that I want your money?’ Out of the pocket of her dress she produced fifteen dinars and left them in front of me, saying: ‘By God, if you don’t take them, I shall never come back to you.’ I took the money and she said: ‘Darling, expect me in three days’ time and I shall come between sunset and supper. Use the money to prepare us another meal like the last.’ Then she took her leave of me and went away, taking my senses with her. Three days later, she came back dressed in brocade, jewels and robes more splendid than those she had worn the first time. Before she came I had made my preparations, and we ate, drank and slept until morning, as we had done before. As before, she gave me fifteen dinars, and promised to come back after three days.
Again I made preparations for her visit, and she came dressed even more splendidly than on her first and second visit. ‘Am I not beautiful?’ she asked me. ‘Yes, by God, you are,’ I replied. ‘Will you let me bring with me a girl who is more beautiful as well as younger than I am,’ she asked, ‘so that she can play with us, and you and she can laugh together and she can enjoy herself, as for a long time she has been sad? She has asked to come out with me and to spend the night with me.’ On hearing this, I agreed willingly, and then we got drunk and slept until morning. When she produced the fifteen dinars this time, before leaving she told me to provide extra provisions for the girl who was to come with her. On the fourth day, I made my preparations as usual, and after sunset she arrived with a girl wrapped in a mantle. They came in and sat down, and at this sight, I recited:
How pleasant and delightful it is now,
When the censurer is absent and unaware.
Love of pleasure and drunkenness –
One of these is enough to steal our wits.
The full moon appears veiled;
The branch bends in a gown, and on the cheeks
The rose blooms in its freshness, while in the eyes
Languishes the narcissus.
Life, as I wish it, is without a cloud;
Because of the beloved, pleasure is complete.
Filled with delight, I lit the candles and received the girls joyfully. They took off their outer clothes and the new girl showed me a face like the moon at its full. I had never seen anyone more beautiful. I then rose and brought food and wine, after which we ate and drank our fill. I was giving mouthfuls of food to the new girl, filling up her glass and drinking with her until her companion became secretly jealous and asked me whether the girl was not prettier than she was. ‘Yes, by God,’ I replied. ‘I would like you to sleep with her,’ she told me and when I agreed she got up and spread out bedding for us. I went over to the girl and slept with her until morning.
When I stirred, I found that I was very damp and I thought that I must have been sweating. I sat up to rouse the girl and shook her by the shoulders, at which her head rolled off the pillow. Losing control of myself, I cried out: ‘Kind Shelterer, shelter me!’ I saw that her throat had been cut and I sprang up, finding that the world had turned black for me. I looked for my former mistress but when I could not find her, I realized that it must have been she who had murdered the other out of jealousy. ‘There is no power and no might except with God, the High, the Almighty!’ I exclaimed. ‘What am I to do?’ I thought for a time and then I got up and stripped off my clothes. In the middle of the house I dug a hole and then I took the girl, jewels and all, and put her into it, after which I covered it with earth and then with marble. Next, I washed, put on clean clothes and, taking what money I still had, I left the house, locked it up, and went to its owner. Summoning up my courage, I paid him a year’s rent, telling him that I was going off to join my uncles in Cairo.
When I reached Cairo, I met my uncles who were glad to see me and they had, as I found, finished selling their goods. When they asked me why I had come, I told them that it was because I had missed them. I stayed with them for a year, seeing the sights of Cairo and the Nile, but concealing the fact that I still had some money with me. Then, taking my store of money, I started to spend it, using it on food and drink, until the time had come for my uncles to leave. At this point, I ran off and hid from them so that, although they looked, they could get no news of me. Thinking that I must have gone back to Damascus, they left.
I came out of hiding and stayed in Cairo for three years until all my money had run out. Every year I had been sending the rent to the owner of the house in Damascus, but after three years I found myself at a standstill and could not afford more than the one year’s rent. So I set off for Damascus and when I got there I stopped at my old house. The owner was glad to see me and I found the storerooms sealed up as I had left them. So I opened them and removed my belongings. Then, under the bed on which I had slept that night with the murdered girl, I found a gold necklace set with jewels. I took it, and after wiping it clean of her blood, I stared at it, shedding tears for some time. For two da
ys I waited and then on the third I went to the baths, where I changed my clothes. I had no money at all with me and, on going to the market one day, I listened to the promptings of the devil, so that what was fated came to pass.
Taking the jewelled necklace, I gave it to the market auctioneer, who got up and asked me to sit beside the owner of the house. Waiting until the market was crowded, he then secretly, and without my knowledge, called for buyers. It turned out that the necklace was valuable enough to bring in two thousand dinars, but the auctioneer came to me and said: ‘It is a copper piece, of Frankish work, which will fetch a thousand dirhams.’ ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘we had it made for a woman as a joke, and now my wife has inherited it, so we want to sell it. Accept the thousand dirhams for it.’
Morning now dawned and Shahrazad broke off from what she had been allowed to say. Then, when it was the twenty-ninth night, SHE CONTINUED:
I have heard, O auspicious king, that he told the auctioneer to accept a thousand dirhams. HE WENT ON:
When the auctioneer heard that, he realized that something was not right and he went to the market superintendent and gave him the necklace. He, in turn, went to the wali and said: ‘This necklace was stolen from my house and we have found the thief dressed as a merchant.’ Before I knew what was happening, I was surrounded by guards, who seized me and brought me to the wali. He asked me about the necklace, and I told him the story that I had told the auctioneer. The wali laughed and said: ‘This is not true.’ Before I knew it, I was stripped of my clothes and beaten on my sides with whips. Because of the burning pain of the beating, I said: ‘I stole it,’ telling myself that it was better to confess to theft than to say that the girl who owned the necklace had been killed in my house, lest I be killed in retaliation for her murder. They wrote down that I had stolen the necklace and they then cut off my hand and cauterized it with oil. I fainted, but they poured wine down my throat and I recovered. Taking my hand, I went back to the house, but the owner said: ‘After what has happened, you must leave and find another place for yourself, for you have been charged with robbery.’ ‘Sir,’ I asked him, ‘let me have two or three days to look for a place.’
The Arabian Nights: Tales of 1,001 Nights: Volume 1 Page 28