by C. J. Abedi
I turned away and walked over to the furthest point of the tree and sat back down.
He sat across from me and watched me anxiously. He had been affected. I could tell.
We stared at each other.
“Did you like your childhood?” He suddenly asked, changing the subject.
I cleared my throat, gathering myself as I thought about his question.
“Even though my parents worked a lot, I loved every minute of it.”
“How often were you alone?” he asked me.
“Why does it matter?”
“Humor me,” he said.
“It’s the past.”
“It matters to me,” Devilyn replied with tension rising in his voice. “I want to know how many nights out of the week were you alone at home by yourself.”
I shrugged. I didn’t want him to judge my parents. They had worked so hard to provide a nice life for me. I could never be upset with them.
“Tell me,” he urged. “I won’t judge them.”
I raised a brow.
“I promise,” he said earnestly. “You can’t be mad at me for feeling protective of you.”
No. I guess I couldn’t.
“Four or five nights,” I admitted. “But I always had Famous with me so I never felt like I was alone. And one of my parents would eventually join me.”
He was quiet as he digested that piece of information.
“That sounds lonely,” he said to me.
“Sometimes it was,” I told him truthfully. “But then, sometimes it was just nice to be by myself. I don’t mind silence. In fact, it’s something I crave.”
“I feel the same way,” he told me solemnly.
“Was your sister always in your business?” I asked.
“Yes and no,” he said. “When she was around. Usually she had a boyfriend to distract her, or she was away on some absurd vacation. Or shopping,” he grimaced. “Why do women love to shop so much?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “Not only do I hate it, but I royally suck at it.”
“You don’t.” Devilyn didn’t look like he believed me. “Every woman likes to buy clothes.”
“Not this one,” I laughed. “I promise. I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.”
“Don’t ever do that,” he warned me.
“Don’t ever take me shopping.”
We went from such an uncomfortable moment to a typical, seemingly normal conversation. We were suddenly just two teenagers.
And I suddenly never wanted this to end.
“It’s going to,” he told me quietly. “You know that, right?”
Knife.
Straight through my heart.
That’s how his words felt to me. But I tried to cover the feeling fast.
“I know,” I said back. “It’s just nice to be free for even this short time.”
“It is,” Devilyn replied. He stared off into space, like he was carefully choosing what he was about to say. “Caroline. There are parts of me you will never understand. Parts that I would never want you to know.” His voice sounded hollow. “I know what my demons are capable of, because they live inside my soul. Not even your love or your light can save me.”
I could feel the familiar nausea sweep over me when I thought about the two of us never being together. It was so unfair. And cruel. Why did it have to be like this? Why did the Fates or whatever force that was out there make us feel such love and passion for one another but then throw this insurmountable mountain between us?
“It is cruel,” Devilyn said to me. “But it is our reality. And there is nothing we can do to change it.”
“We can fight together,” I pleaded with him. “For each other.”
“Look what happened when we failed to respect the Fates,” he said pointedly.
“What happened?” I argued back. “I’m alive.”
“And when we leave this yew, what then? What else awaits us out there?”
“But we’ll be together,” I almost regretted the words I’d kept to myself as I said them.
“Your life is what should matter,” Devilyn said. “Because it matters to me.”
“Devilyn—”
“No!” His voice was loud and strong. Anger began to simmer in his eyes. “Don’t do this, Caroline,” he said. “Please. Don’t. Let’s not ruin this moment together.”
I could feel tears begin to well up, but I would die before I shed them.
“I don’t want to hurt you. And now I’m going to,” he whispered. “Even if Alderon wasn’t a threat. There could be something else that I could bring down on you that would destroy you.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“A child.”
His admission stunned me.
A child?
Our child.
My mind raced. Devilyn would never let anything happen to me. He would save me no matter what. Even from himself. This tortured man was so afraid he would bring darkness upon me that he would move heaven and hell to keep it from happening.
And then I knew what he was really saying.
We would never have a child together.
I got up and stepped away from the table and turned around to stare at nothing. Because I couldn’t see. I only felt. Hurt. So much hurt. A thousand sad thoughts were racing through my head.
What kind of existence was this? What kind of Fate placed true love in front of you and ripped it away at the same time?
I felt his strong hands on my shoulders. In spite of my anguish, the small touch brought me pleasure.
“It just is,” he told me solemnly. “We have to accept it.”
Dana, help me.
I prayed for strength and courage to help me forward.
I could feel my own energy begin to rush through my veins. I felt a tingling sensation behind my eyes and wondered if they shined just as brightly as Devilyn’s did when he used his magik.
He stepped toward me in awe. I could see the love on his face and it broke my heart, but I held my palm up to him. “No. From this day forward you will never read my mind again,” I told him gravely.
“Caroline—” His eyes flared in alarm.
“No,” I said in a stronger voice. “You’ve refused to believe in us, so there is nothing left. I cannot—I won’t do this to myself anymore. I don’t want to even consider the thought of being together any longer, and I don’t want to be here with you for another second.”
My words hurt him, I knew. But this was it. Our path had been laid out before us long ago, and it was time for me to accept it.
“I will never forget our time together,” I told him as I tried to keep my voice emotionless. “I will never forget how perfect it was. Even today. Up until now. I will cherish every single one of the sweet moments we had forever. But I finally believe you. We can never be.”
And with that I banished Devilyn Reilly out of my thoughts and heart. From that day forward, the most he would ever be was my protector against Alderon, until he was a threat no more.
And then he would be free.
Chapter Six
“You’ve seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
—Rumi
Roanoke Island, North Carolina
The Year of our Lord, 1587
Eleanor Dare
Fear tends to do strange things to a person’s soul.
It causes you to always look behind instead of ahead. It makes you question every gesture, every sound, every movement. Even sweet dreams are interrupted by horrible nightmares.
Since Arthur and I had begun our relationship I was in a state of fear and constant panic, looking over my shoulder, waiting for the “dark forces” Arthur spoke of to descend upon us and destroy our happiness. He told me it would be easy to hide from them, but there was a part of me that did not believe him.
Not that I didn’t trust him with my life.
I just began feeling uneasy. Nervous.
How could we hide, when these forces he spoke of were so powerful?
Together, we devised a plan. It would be best if we could integrate Arthur into the village. If somehow we could introduce him to the settlers as someone who had always lived on the island. Even when we traveled here, we knew that it was highly unlikely that we were alone. This plan would be far easier than sneaking around the forest where we were in danger of getting caught. My father had always said that it was a wiser man who guided the result than to allow the result to guide him.
And as much as I wanted to run away with Arthur, to hide with him from the rest of the world and all of the darkness that surrounded it, I knew my disappearance would destroy my father.
So on a day like any other he had walked into our small but blossoming village and told the elders that he was an explorer. He had been trapped here in the colony alone for years, he said, and was beyond happy to finally find other settlers. There wasn’t even a hint of skepticism. Coming from an inquiring lot, it was surprising. Not one of them had doubted his story. They were enthralled by him. Literally at his mercy. Their eyes lit up, almost as if they were in a trance, immediately accepting him as part of the group without question and with open arms. Whether it was his inner and outer beauty that drew them in or some magikal force I did not know about, everyone immediately trusted him. And I didn’t want to know why, because I was just grateful for it.
It was easy for everyone to fall in love with Arthur. The men seemed to look up to him and found his knowledge useful, asking him questions about the land, hunting, and building shelter. And the women. Well, they were of course just as smitten as I was, but regardless of the attention he received he made it clear that he only had eyes for me, and what an incredible feeling that was.
We had every meal together, often sneaking away to find a private place to talk about the future, our future.
Together.
He loved learning about my childhood and about England, and I loved to hear all the great tales of his people. They were a magikal race, with a deep history that had me in awe.
Arthur shared it all with me, even warning me that these revelations went against all of his people’s sacred laws.
I knew how hard it was to share this information, placing his trust in my hands. So I vowed to keep his secrets with me until my dying days and promised him I would never betray him, no matter what the future held for us.
And then it happened.
One beautiful night.
He asked me to meet him by the great tree that separated the wild land from our village. It was magnificent and one of the reasons we chose the area to colonize. The tree was our marker, and all of us felt like it watched over us. As silly as it sounded, it seemed to bring us a sense of security.
The moon was full, shining brightly and lighting up the dark night sky. When I came upon the massive tree, Arthur was leaning against it, resembling a golden prince with his hair held back from his perfect face. He was dressed in the finest garments I had ever seen. A crisp white velvet jacket with a ruffled chemise, embroidered in what appeared to be delicate gold, with brocade pants to match.
I ran straight into his outstretched arms.
“I thought you’d never come,” he told me. He buried his hands in my hair and drew me in for a kiss that left me breathless.
“A lady is always supposed to keep a man waiting.”
“I would wait an eternity for you,” he said.
A deep flush crept up my cheeks as I traced his lips with my fingers.
“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to wait.”
He drew away from me and turned his face up to the moon.
“There is something that has been weighing heavily on me, Eleanor.”
My back stiffened immediately as I felt a moment of panic.
“What is it, my love?” I asked cautiously.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring that lit up the dark night. It was blue and sparkled like a star.
My heart was pounding.
“This is the oldest crystal on the planet,” Arthur explained. “It is a zargun, a rare and precious stone. My people collect it. It is incredibly strong, because it has walked the earth longer than anyone, collecting all the energy that has amassed since the Earth’s inception. Its power has been known to give you anything your heart desires. In addition to that it always protects the one who wears it, allowing them to see things as they really are.”
“It’s remarkable Arthur. Simply stunning,” I told him as another tint of color hit my pale face.
Arthur smiled at me.
“They are stones given in love.”
He went down on one knee and held out the ring.
I couldn’t stop the tears.
“I want to spend eternity with you, Eleanor,” he said. “You are my love. And my life. There is no world without you in it. Without you by my side. Will you spend the rest of our days with me?”
I didn’t hesitate.
“Yes!”
He pulled me into his arms and wiped away my tears before he placed the precious ring on my finger.
“I pledge my life, my heart, and my soul to you for all of eternity. You are my other half.”
“I am eternally yours,” I cried in return.
D
I had never known a pain quite like it.
Simple words spoken from her beautiful mouth.
Once they left her, like an unyielding knife they found their way into my heart and stabbed me.
Destroying me.
It was at that moment that I finally realized how powerful the spoken word was. Odin had tried to teach me this so many times and I had callously disregarded him.
Now, I knew.
But now, even as I contemplated Caroline’s feelings, I felt the distance growing between us, even in our confined space. The time had come for us to leave the yew.
I had a plan in place. One I was feeling confident about and one where I didn't think I would need Odin’s help so soon. Or at all, for that matter. But now that there was so much emotional space between us, I needed him. Now more than ever.
Earlier, while she slept, I used my powers to connect with Odin. I provided him with many signals within the yew, pictures of the forest, hints that would ultimately let him know that I was taking her back to the Mirror of Fate, a place she had only previously been. With Odin’s power helping us, it could be used to our advantage. He could see through the mirror and help us back to Roanoke. I should have thought of it earlier, but seeing her in that state, staring back at the mirage Alderon had created, was too much to bear.
Strangely, I wasn’t worried about stepping out into the unknown again. I was more worried about returning home. If we made it out of here in one piece my father’s anger would be unimaginable. Not only would Caroline still be alive, but it would also mean that we had beat him, yet again.
Caroline’s deep breath snapped me out of my deep thoughts.
“We need to leave soon.”
“I agree,” she said. The look on her face was unreadable, almost cold and distant. Something I really had never seen before.
Whenever she looked at me, there were so many emotions there for me to see: curiosity, anger, attraction, but never indifference.
I could handle anything, but indifference was unbearable.
She gathered her hair in a high ponytail and stood. I wanted to help her, but knew better.
“When we walk out of the yew we will be visible to Alderon, Puck, and whatever else they have waiting for us,” I explained. “I’m going to try and use my magik to get us in front of the Mirror of Fate as quickly as possible.”
“The Mirror of Fate? We’re going back there again?”
“Yes. If what I have planned works, we’ll be home in no time.”
“I don’t want you to use any more of your magik,” she said.
“I’m not taking any risks.”
“Well I don’t want you using your magik, especially on me,” she replied boldly.
I raised a brow.
“You�
��re arguing with me? Now?”
“Not arguing. Protecting your soul.”
“My soul? If you’d like to know, my soul aches, and that pain has nothing to do with magik,” I hovered above her, not moving an inch, purposefully bringing my lips within inches of hers.
Her eyes widened, but she continued to look at me defiantly and straight in the eye.
“And just so we’re clear,” I began, “I will reach for your hand when we’re out of here and you will let me take it.”
Before she could respond, I placed my fingers gently over her mouth.
“I can’t risk us being separated.”
She glared back and simply nodded curtly.
I placed my hand on the bark of the yew tree and whispered the ancient words. The trunk slowly began to slide open. Before we stepped out, I turned around and took one final look at the small space, loath to leave. The yew was the only place we could be together, undetected and in peace. I was surprised to find Caroline’s gaze on mine watching me intently. Hoping she could see my struggle, but praying that she felt the same way.
“Let’s go.” I reached out as she reluctantly placed her hand in mine.
“I’m ready.”
The second we stepped into the forest, my eyes lit up and my energy guided us quickly back down the trail to the mirror. Her hand began to heat up in mine, and I knew she was trying to help me by using her own Light. With our combined power, we traveled at a speed I had never experienced.
Within moments we were in front of the Mirror of Fate. My heart was beating as if it was going to come out of my chest, and I knew it wasn’t from the speed of our journey. Slowly letting go of Caroline’s hand, I placed both my palms on the glass.
Caroline moved to protect my back, facing the outer edge of the forest.
She began chanting ancient Tuatha de Danann words and suddenly a ball of light surrounded us. She was shielding us from view using the powers within her. The force itself didn’t stun me—no, that was to be expected from a queen. But how did she know the mystical words? The spells had never been taught to her.
“Hurry, Devilyn.” She spoke calmly. “We don’t have much time.”